Today we had our final goodbye from my best friend.
We first went to the gardencentre to get some beautiful flowers.
It's a very large building and it was all a complete mess.
In a way it fitted my mood and it was kind of soothing.
The organised place just had the rabbits and a few plants in place, the rest was a chaos, because they were doing away with the winterstuff and were making the whole space ready for easter and spring. Nothing had arrived yet, so they were cleaning corners and putting counters and tables aside.
Just the cut flowers were available.
The prizes were terribly high, but I didn't want to go somewhere else.
I took some white flowers, but couldn't get them arranged and then I spotted, somewhere in between, the most beautiful soft pink roses. They had a slightly darker lining around the petals.
I fell in love with them immediately.
I kept one rose, put the rest back, took 2 pink ones, and some waving green and that small white spotted stuff and made a flat bouquet.
The woman who was supposed to fix it, put a rope around the stems and some plastic around it and didn't even close that properly.
After all I was fine with that.
At home I arranged it again, fixed it, found me a proper card, wrote what I wanted to say and put the plastic around it again.
It looked perfect.
I've made a photyo, but I'm too tired to put it on the computer.
At the funeral house a wellknown person stood at the door. I've worked in the past with these people and parents of died babies. He asked if I wanted him to take it. So he did, and put it at a wonderful place.
I didn't feel like mingling with other people. I was with one of my daughters and that was enough.
They projected photo's on the wall. So I once again saw photos of her when she was young, a student, when we were young mothers and more.
There were many things in the service we talked about and it was nice to see she had used them. It was truly how she wanted it.
I also got some answers on questions I didn't want to ask the family.
She indeed had plans to see each other this month.
She had another chemo and a check up and on friday got the news the chemo hadn't worked.
None had expected things would happen so very fast.
On monday she died. Luckily she was able to say goodbye to her husband and children.
None had expected her to die so soon.....
When the service was over we got coffee. And like we discussed, there was no cake, but apple pie.
But I couldn't eat.
We went to write something in the remembrance book and went away.
Last week I've written a poem.
I'll write it in a nice card and explain why we left without saying goodbye.
Everyone of the family was talking and we didn't want to disturb.
Thinking about it all it was very nice and honoured the life of my friend very well.
But I don't want it that way.
The bare brick walls... I've always hated them.
Not too long ago they rebuilt parts of the centre and redesigned the interior.
Well, in the coffee room there's some colour, and the hall is not as small as it was (just as drafty though).
But it still is an unpleasant building.
So I want my goodbye in the buddhist center, which is probably far too expensive. But I'd rather have it in the woods.
And in the evening a campfire with the friends of my daughters having fun there too.
Here you'll find impressions of my life as a mother of a few children with autism spectrum disorder and a person with heartfailure, some critical reviews of what going on in the world, including medical issues and political subjects. And everything else that keeps me busy.
I'm very honest about my experiences with autism, because only that way I can show how much of a struggle daily life with autism can be.
A series of posts
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lack of concensus between disciplines
and the need for a formal diagnosis
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autism and (no) school.
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