When finally the day arrived I could see a cardiologist I felt a bit better because the pneumonia had gone, but I was far too fast very tired. I had difficulty breathing and because of that was on the list for a CT scan of the lungs.
I arrived half an hour early for my appointment, but the assistant asked me in anyway.
She said there was no need to make an ECG, as the former one was just a little while ago.
I asked to do it again, as I was ill when it was made and I hoped it to be improved.
She said I needed the whole standard assessment, including length and weight, but I didn't mind as long as I got an ECG.
It turned out to be exactly the same as the former one, so I knew something was terribly wrong.
I had to wait for the cardiologist and expected to wait for half an hour, so took a paper from my bag and a pencil and started to draw.
I can't draw well, but sometimes I just try to get my mind away from worrying. So it seemed very appropriate at the moment.
No need to phantisize about what was going on when a cardiologist was on his way to explain to me.
Quite a while earlier than expected he stepped into the room.
He saw me drawing and smiled.
I smiled back and said that there was no need to study what was on the paper, because I can't draw at all. I just needed to kill time in a creative way.
It just clicked between us.
I don't know why.
Maybe because he looked very much like one of our chinese friends in Amsterdam.
Maybe my mala did the trick, as it does more often between like minded.
He gently told me that something was wrong with my heart and he wanted to do an advanced heart echo, followed by a 24 hours holter, which is an heart monitor one carries around as a very small box.
He didn't want to speculate, just go through the process step by step, if I could agree.
He told me I was not allowed to engage in any sports of intensive bodily movements. My heart rate was far too high, in the dangerous zone. I would place my life at risk.
He also asked if I could agree with him being my cardiologist.
I said that the challenge would ne on his part by having me as a patiënt.
We laughed and parted with a good feeling, even though I now knew for sure something serious was the matter.
Here you'll find impressions of my life as a mother of a few children with autism spectrum disorder and a person with heartfailure, some critical reviews of what going on in the world, including medical issues and political subjects. And everything else that keeps me busy.
I'm very honest about my experiences with autism, because only that way I can show how much of a struggle daily life with autism can be.
A series of posts
about lack of knowledge,
lack of concensus between disciplines
and the need for a formal diagnosis
with a psychiatric label
to get support for a unique individual
autism and (no) school.
One of our true autism stories Click the image.
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