Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Better health... or urgent referral to cardiology?

Thanks for all the well wishes.
I feel a lot better.

Ofcourse I'm still very curious about the results of the CT scan and the cardiologist.
The CT scan is at the 15th of May, the cardiologist...I don't know.
Should be before the 4th of june.

But Im eating again, and I can do things again.
My breathing is nearly normal.
The heartfrequency is down to a 100 per minute in rest, which is not OK yet, but almost normal. Not for me, for the statistics.
And that's what dealing with unknown doctors is all about, isn't it?

I still haven't had the date of the appointment in the mail.

On the site of the horpital it said that a referral of one of their own specialist would take about 6 weeks, and one from the family physician just 2.

Si I asked the informatio centre on that...by mail.
Got a mail back asking me to ring.

When they can be reached by mail, they should answer by mail.

Then I had to clarify my question. Like I asked something straight from an unknown language.
As a reply she asked for my personal details.

I said: "No. No need to give me preferential treatment. I just want to know there's a discrepancy from a month between those referrals." And maybe she could advice to ask my family doc for a referral or just go to the cardiologist of the other hospital in town.

When she mailed back she had gone to cardiology with my name, and she told me details only one who hads been in my files know.

Me oh my, did she put me in risk for an urgent cardiology referral!!!

Not only said I "no" to taking my details to cardiology, she also appeared to have spoken with someone there in detail about my medical history.
By law and professional code she's not allowed to.

I wish for once she had sticked to the rules.
She managed to mess up a while ago to, so it's someone who either doesn't care about law or is not able to learn.

Ofcourse I shouldn't have asked to explain me why an internal referral takes so much longer than an external one.

Oh, and I asked if they knew anything about the effect of the waitinglist on the health of the people on it.
She didn't know.

Well, I do now.


Monday, April 22, 2013

Parachute jumping

My second son took some more parachute jumps this weekend.
He just needs two more jumps for his diploma.

Yesterday evening he asked if it was OK for him to come and show photos and some movies.
Yes, ofcourse!

It was great to see him sit in the small airoplane and wait for his turn to jump.
One of the guys was hesitating, but my son just went like he'd done it thousands of times.

Yes, he is afraid that moment.
Yes, he realises it's plain stupid to jump from a plane in the sky just for fun.

But it's special to be a parachutist, just like his grandfather.
I think that's the main reason for doing it.

Initially he wanted to jump with a small parachute during the national remembrance day, but he´s now considering not to take the risk.
Each year young men are injured when they land on the uneven terrain, and he knows someone who got stuck with his foot in a rabbithole when he landed and he broke his leg in a very bad way.

It´s a pity he´s lost his dream, but on the other hand: he's still using his brains and weighs risks in a sound way. (Well, I'm a parent, so I value that most. LOL!)

I loved to see the world from the pespective of a parachutist.
It's amazing to see the whole world so tiny.
To be away from it in the silence and to be with yourself.


Handle nuts

It's spring, so that means going around the house and see what needs to be done.

There is ofcourse some paintwork necessary.
As always there are some dirty patches near the staircase.
And one of the doors needs to be painted.

Apart from that: some repairs need to be done.

One of the doorhandles needs to be renewed, the handle of the downstairs tap doesn't work smoothly anymore, and at the attick some handle nuts need to be replaced.
I knew that last autumn, so I've taken the opportunity to have a good look around and decide which material would be best.
I've decided for malleable iron handle nuts.
But even then there's a choice, between zink plated ones and plain iron ones.
That's not a difficult choice, considering some people are allergic to zinc. So it narrows the choice down to the plain iron ones.

All I have to do now is measure the size and order them online.
My friend needs some for her attick too, so we'll order them all in one go.

It's easier that way.
Saves shipping costs and only one of us needs to be at home when they're delivered.
My son doesn't mind to be at home for the delivery.
He likes the mailman a lot, especially since he knows the guy has an autistic son too.
The mailman always takes a few minutes to talk with my son about his computergames.

So those handle nuts will be welcomed with enthousiasm here.


Saturday, April 20, 2013

Don't Want to Talk About It

1) Crazy Sam is beyond sick of all things Kardashian! What's a topic you're just tired of and don't want to talk about anymore?

I don't get tired quickly, but I think all the attention for the private lives of celebreties, football women and such is just a waste of time.

2) Rod Stewart has been recording for more than 40 years. Do you have any of his music on your iPod/mp3 player?

I don't have an iPod or Mp3 player. But i know his songs anyway.

3) Rod Stewart is known for his coif. How much time do you spend on your hair each morning?

About 3 minutes for a quick wash and comb.

4) Rod's first child, a daughter, will turn 50 this year. His most recent child, also a daughter, is 2. How close in age are your children? If you don't have any children, how close in age are you and your siblings? If you don't have children OR siblings, well, tell us what's immediately to your left as you respond to this meme. If you don't have anything to your left ... Oh, hell, I give up!

17 and 26, and between.

5) Which do you prefer -- french toast or pancakes?

Ugh... french toast!
So it's pancakes.

6) When was the last time you lost your cool?

A long time ago.
In my mind? Just a moment ago, as my autistic son hates to shower and I think it's time. So I have to be very patient and talk him into it.

7) Crazy Sam once had a pet hamster she named Bart. Have you ever cared for a hamster or a gerbil?

No. not really. I think they're cute, but not to have and hold in a cage.

8) Are you ticklish?

Don't even dare to look at my feet!!!!

I once kicked a doctor when he tried my reflexes there. I think he still remembers it.

9) Ouch! You have a headache! What's your go-to remedy?

Ignore it.

Have a nice weekend!

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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The car broke down

Well, we knew we had an old car.
We knew it would stop sometime.

But ofcourse it stopped right at the most inconvenient moment: on our way to hospital.

Luckily the appointment was just a check of his ear, so nothing urgent or special. But still.

When we drove away from home I heard an unknown sound.
My intuition, not knowledge of cars, told me it was not OK.
When we went up the bridge, I said I didn't want to go to Germany for groceries, as we planned to do after the visit to the hospital.

On top of the bridge we heard an even stranger sound and decided to go into a small road between two factories.
He said he saw blue smoke, I didn't see it, but I felt worried.
When teh car stopped I stepped out and took our coats from the backseat. Passport safe. Phew.

No need to get the fire extinguisher out of the car.
There was no smoke.

We parked it in a decent way and I went home and he went to the hospital for the check-up.

Later he called my son and they both fetched the car after checking what was wrong.
As I thought, one of the bands was torn up completely.
It might have caused a fire, but didn't, because we stopped in time.

Now we don't have a car anymore, because it's not worth fixing it.
It means no transport, no cheap groceries.

Monday, April 15, 2013

A day at the hospital

Today I went to the lungspecialist.
I was quite glad to, even though I was a bit suspicious that there was no need to call the hospital, but that the hospital called me to come in. Being used to waitinglists ... And I had a mail on friday stating I could call for an appointment on monday 14.00 hours and later...
Just 10 minutes after that mail I had an appointment for the doc.

Well, I got a lady doc.
When I told her I had pneumonia the last week and still had difficulty breathing she told me that "at my age" it would take between 6 weeks and 3 months to feel the old self again.
(I didn't tell her that I don't mind grwoing and developing, but I want my condition back. LOL!)

She listened to my chest and said there were no deminished breathing sounds at the right, but enhanced sounds at the left.
I didn't say anything.

Then we sat down and she put one of those saturation metres on my finger. 98%, so quite well.
And then it was like she shot in the air.
"You've got a far too high heart frequency. All in all I suspect a lung embolism and you won't be able to go home unless I've ruled it out or treated it."

Well, as I have a risk of thrombosis...

She ordered a D-dimer test and some other blood tests and an ECG.

So I phoned home and told them I would be away for some time that afternoon and went to get the bloodworks done.
When I finally sat down there, she asked me name and birthdate and it turned out to be wrong on the paperwork.

Instead of phoning and faxing, I could walk back and get the right paperwork myself.
Considering the fact that I was breathing terribly it was worthy a formal complaint.

When I came back, I had to wait for several calls, as the phone presumably goes before medical urgency.
Then I was told to sit on the emergency chair, so I would be the first to be called in.
But they all just pressed the button to call someone from the main waitingroom and forgot the emergency chair.
When I realised this I went to the nurse I'd seen before when she finished a patient and she did the bloodworks.

After that I rushed to cardiology for the ECG.
I was breathing very shallow and fast.
I expected some waitingtime and I was welcoming it. But instead I had to go into one of those terribly small dressing rooms, get my t-shirt out and I was called in.
I had to lay flat on my back. I hate that, because of my bad back, and I never feel well.
My heart waas racing like cracy and laying flat I could hardly breathe.
She just popped those electrodes on and made the ecg.
It was not right at all, so she threw it away without saying anything and made a new one.

As it was urgency she popped it into my hands and made me go.
I nearly fell against the door as I almost fainted when I got off the bed, but none cared.

Then I had to walk through half of the hospital again to bring the print to the lungdepartment.
On my way I took a leaflet with a blanc back and sat down in the hall and wrote down the results of the ECG.
I was not happy at all with the results, even though I thought and think they're not very trustworthy.
I learned in the past that an ECG should meet some requirements to be valid and trustworthy and these requirements were not met at all.
On the other hand: one of the results suggested a diagnosis that is quite familiar. In fact it's the same heartdisease that caused my first daughter to die the second day after her birth.

But I've had x-rays a lot in teh past and never ever someone commented on it, so I couldn't believe it was right.

Nor did I believe by that time I had a lung embolism.
Walking through those long corridors of the hospital would have cause a shift of the embolism, I thought and that didn't happen at all. So...

Well, I delivered the ECG print to the lungdepartment and I was told to sit in the waitingroom. It was one of those white painted basement rooms without windows, with a few magazines and a coffeepot.
I didn't care for the coffee. I just wanted to go outside and sit in the sun.

So I said I would go out to the benches in front of the main entrance and enjoy the sun. I would be back by 4, because i didn't expect the bloodresults in any earlier.
She said she did.
I went anyway.

When I came back they were not in and it took another 10 minutes.

The ladydoc was very nice, which always makes me a bit suspicious. LOL!
I didn't have a lung embolism, so I was alloweed to go home.
She even said I was right I didn't have an embolism.

But the ECG was not right at all and suggested a heart disorder so I need to see a cardiologist. Yea, make an unltasound and see if there's hypertrophy...
And the lung x-ray was not right at all. If I have been in contact with toxic fumes or something like that? No.
She showed me the photo and it looked like fibrosis, I thought. So I need a CT-scan.

Then on top of it all I need all those asthma tests, because I always went to another hospital and they don't have a file at this hospital.

It will take ages before I know more: june 6th.

Untill then I have to keep quiet and live healthy. Well that second part is done already...

So I went home with difficulty breathing, without anything to help me....


Friday, April 12, 2013

You Belong with Me

1) Like the girl in this song, have you ever been in love with someone, but was afraid to tell them?

Yes, ofcourse. But waiting turned out to be very good. The guy grew into a real freak.

2) Taylor Swift has been known to write songs about her real-life lovers. If you were to write a song about the most recent person you were romantically involved with, what would the title be?

Too early, too long.

3) Ms. Swift recently turned 23 and has already won VMAs and AMAs and Grammys. What were you doing when you were 23? (If you aren't 23 yet, where do you see yourself when you hit it?)

Hmmm, 23. I was at university and was the youngest staffmember. Studying psychology and teaching methods and techniques of research. It was, apart from statistics, considered the most boring subject and my aim was to turn it into something really interesting. Imanaged to do so, so my boss gave me more and more space to work the way I wanted. It was a real joy.
Pity a recession came and I was, as the youngest, told to move on when they had to cut back in a very serious way on personnell.

4) When you were a child, did you sleep with a plush toy? (If yes, please include its name in your answer.)

I had a doll. Loesje.

5) I'm making a Starbucks run. What can I get you?

Never been to Starbucks. It's here now, since about 8 months, but I don't hear good stories at all.
So just pour me a coffee.

6) It was 60 years ago that Clarence Birdseye first marketed frozen vegetables. Now it's your turn: Share something you learned recently.

I learned recently .... eh..... eh.... that young people have a quite different approach of teamwork than we had in our days.
They work very methodologically, according to simple rules and brainstorming isn't brainstorming anymore. It's applying practical use of those rules. Thinking out of the box is hardly possible that way.

7) In junior high, were you class clown, teacher's pet, a geek, a jock ... or did you just melt into the background?

I was in the students board, schoolpaper and such, trying to make school a better place for everyone.

8) Was your most recent ticket for parking illegally or was it a moving violation?

To be ho9nest, I've never ever had a ticket.

9) Tell us about the last museum you visited.

Just the main museum of town.
It used to be a quite cosy place, now it was huge, white and glass, and even though I liked the collection, I didn't feel great there.
Wanted to use the space for a dance. But didn't dare.

Have a nice weekend!

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Practice makes a star

When one door closes another opens.
So even though I have to keep quiet I can have a good time.

No gardening at the moment, and no bagpiping either.
So I went upstairs and decided to practice guitar.

I'm the happy owner of one of the good alvarez guitars. Well, good, is not the right label: outstanding is better.

But I also have a rather good practice guitar and I took that one downstairs.
It's not very easy to play.
One simple mistake and one can hear it.
So it's perfect for practice.
And when I've finally managed the technique well, I'll work on the real one.

I'm very happy I was taught this way of practicing a long, long time ago by a very good mucisian.
He was in our town for a performance and I was the lucky girl who had to show him and his bandmembers around.
he liked it very much and wanted to do something back.
I didn't accept money, so he asked me if I played guitar.
By then I knew how to play a few chords. Nothing more.
He took the time to teach me for over an hour and I was delighted.

The value extended my whole lifetime.

"Practicing", he said, "is of the utmost importance.
So use a difficult instrument and then go to the best instrument and you'll play even better."

He was right.

So instead of sitting down and moan a bit, I'll practice a nice song and surprise my family in due time.


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Oops, not good.

Today I went to our family physician to have my lungs checked.
Had a firm course of antibiotics to deal with a pneumonia and i should be well and running by now.

Instead I'm tired, relatively breathless, unless I do absolutely nothing, and sleeping is crap.
Especially at the end of the afternoon I'm very tired and in need of a bit more air.

It's especially bothering me, because the weather is finally getting better and I feel like working in the garden and plant the new willow tree and try to enliven those roses.

I was lucky one of the boys drove me.
The doc was not happy with my right lung. Not enough breathsounds.
So I was referred to the hospital for emergencyblood tests.

The nurse told me they would be ready within the hour, so when i didn't hear from my doc two hours later I expected him to call the lungspecialist.

Turned out he did.

The bloodtests came back clear.

The x-ray, made when I had pneumonia, was a bit too clouded and diffusely clouded for a pneumonia alone so the lungspecialist wants to see me.
Not tomorrow, as in an emergency, but straightaway next week.

So I have to stay quiet until then.
He didn't say not to worry.

Well, I have beent thinking I might have COPD for a while now.
I don't smoke at all and none smokes in the house here, which is a rule as old as 25 years, but there are ofcourse other bad influences.
Like the fine dust in this area.

We're already looking around for a new place to live, but we're keeping it slow at the moment to give the girls all choice for their future. I don't want them to think they move too far from home or something like that.
When they want to study a bit more up north, we can move along with them if they want that.
So we're completely free in that.

And it's not the best time to move, financially.

It's interesting that more people around me are complaining of the air here. One of my sons and some friends and acquaintances said the past time they experienced itchy eyes, throat or even breathing problems after crossing the bridge over the channel here.

That's interesting, because one might expect clearer are when moving out of the city!

I hope we're able to have some time in the woods tomorrow or sunday. I feel better there.
And then we'll take it from there.
I'm lucky the children aren't small anymore and they don't require a mummy who runs around and is at 6 places, ànd near the laundry machine, ànd cleaning, at the same time.
They now want a mom who keeps her distance when they need it, is available when they need it, who keeps their clothes wonderful. LOL!

In fact they need practice to run their own household, so I'm sitting here with a smile.

I'm not a kind of panicky rabbit. I just want to know what's going on. That's it.

So all is fine.


Monday, April 8, 2013

Antibiotics, and then?

So today I finished the package antibiotics I was prescribed.

The right lung which was not functioning well, is doing better.
I think.

But I still can't breathe freely.
Crackling, wheezing. I feel twice as old as I am.
My energy level is up, but far from 100%.

But I'm taking up the old jobs, so the piles of laundry are diminishing a bit.
Right now I'm happy with the large laundry machine. Get's the whole lot moved and done a lot faster.

Yesterday it was the first day the laundry could be moved outside.
Now the new lot is moving in the wind.
It smells so great when it comes in again. And it's so much softer.

Last night we had very low temperatures again, but from now on day- and nighttemperatures should be on the rise.
I'm looking forward to the arrival of spring.
Hope I'm better then.
Not all the roses I've bought survived, but some can be put in the ground.

Well, first see what the doc says about my lungs and make some healthy choiced for better diabetesmedication.
Let's renew!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Whenever I Call You "Friend"

1) How did you meet your best friend?

Don't know anymore. At school, or here in the playground. I don't know. Shame on me!!

2) Mother Winters used to say she loved all us kids equally, but at various times she liked one of us more than the others. Does your "friend ranking" ever shift? Or is the person you think of today as your best friend always #1?

There was someone else. A friend of over 42 years. But this ended a few months ago, because of his lack of respect for other people.
I'm very loyal, so I'm still a bit shaken by my own decision to end the friendship. Can't be friends with someone who doesn't respect others.

3) What makes you a good friend?

I'm a good listener, caring, loyal and all that. I'm just a good friend.

4) Think back to your childhood -- what games did you and your friends like to play?

Rope jumping, sleeing and all that sort of childhood games we used to play then.

5) Would you rather lose your hair, or the little toe on your left foot? (Yes, you must commit to giving one up.)

Awww, that little toe is already so very little... I can do without.
But I also can do without my hair.
Hope others can do without it too without getting a heart attack because of laughter.

6) Think of the phrase, "like nails on a blackboard." What is your least favorite sound?

The very same sound.

7) Do you add fabric softener to your wash or place a softener sheet in the dryer?

I use the dryer as little as possible. It's far too expensive.

8) Showtime, HBO, or neither?

What's HBO?????

9) Have you ever fired a gun?

No, ofcourse not. Who do you think I am? Or what?
We're not allowed to have guns here.
We're peaceful people, have keys and locks on our doors and a phone to call the police when we need force to get someone removed.
Apart from that I can yell as bad that people won't be able to hear anymore after I've been yelling, so no guns.

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Logo made by me with photo from Mirna.

She's made a choice

Today one of my daughters went to audition for the fast track course to attent the dance academy.
I didn't expect her to get a place, because she's not very experienced in modern dance.
But she wanted to audition for her own reasons: to see what she needs to learn and if she's right she's way ahead with classical ballet. She also wanted to see of this part of the school is for her.

When she came back it was immediately clear that whatever the results, she won't go there.
"So childish!" was her first remark.

But she got the answers she wanted.
She's indeed very good at classical ballet.
And she's not that far behind with modern as she thought.

She also passed the physical, meaning she's bodily fit to be a ballet dancer.

So she was very content even though she wasn't admitted to the academy.

Ofcourse it's a disappointment.
But the chance of getting through was petite.

Now she's going to focus on her final examns and we'll have to see what plan B brings.

She's lucky there's time enough to make decisions for her future.
I think she needs to make them herself, but I try to assist as much as possible.
It's great to have all those different perspectives on the future.
Like you can conquer the whole world.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

It was "no"

She wasn't admitted to the dance academy, but was told that she should audition for the fast track course.
She lacks experience in modern ballet.

This didn't come as a surprise.
Most kids start with streetdance or such. She started with classical ballet.
She's very good with that.

But it's a completely different way of moving from modern dance.
She took lessons, but not long enough.

So on friday she'll audition to the fast track and at the same time sees if that's something for her.

I'm very glad I've always been very honest to her about the chances of getting through the auditions.
Turned out she didn't even get the chance to show how good she is in classical ballet.

I wish someone who can offer her a chance will read this blog.
She needs a fair old-fashioned chance.

Right now dance education in this country is far too much centred about what sells well to the crowds.
My daughter doesn't want to be kept bussy with an education, she wants to learn something and give good performances in return.

In the meantime my other daughter is thinking about how to say goodbye at the old people's home where she worked the past 10 weeks.
She has learned so much there and has had such a good time, that she thinks about spending her future as a nurse for the elderly. She never thought she would like it there. But she now says she's had the best time of her life there.

So we're in a time of massive changes to futures.


Monday, April 1, 2013


The past week I've been feeling unwell, as I thought due to bronchitis.
It's not strange this time of year.

Today one of my daughters had her audition at the dance academy and I went with her to bring her and wish her well.
I was very happy for her when she walked to the building.
It's completely unknown if she'll get through, but the opportunity to audition was her main goal.

When the car turned and we drove home, waiting for her call, I could hardly get enough air, and at home things didn't get better.

I finally decided I needed a doctor.

We tried to get a normal appointment at the doc, but there was no room. The lady who answered the phone is not a very kind woman and she didn't even inform why we needed the doctor. She should have asked.
Right at the spot I decided I didn't want another bad night, so I asked her to tell the doctor I had called.
No reason, just my name.
Right at that moment he walked into her room and asked who was on the line. She said my name and he repeated it with a huge questionmark and asked: Why does she need an appointment?
"Breathing problems?.
"Let her come in. I'll see her in between."

He send me straight after the examination to hospital for an x-ray.

Turned out I have pneumonia.

Well, finally I get something for free and it's pneumonia!