Other parents have asked me why my children aren't smoking, drinking alcohol or using drugs.
Well, one smokes and there's a histopry to it. I
ll write that down another tuime.
But the others consider alcohol, drugs and cigarettes unwanted in their lives.
It's not a problem for them to say "no".
In fact they don't even give much attention to a question about it or when others react to their "no".
I think there are a few reasons why they don't want to drink alcohol, smoke or use drugs.
They are informed very well. Which doesn't only include information about the consequences of the substances, but also why people use them.
I think it's important to signal the moments one can start using and to stress that there's always a choice for something else. Kids need to recognise this and have enough selfreflection to identify these moments.
I also always stressed that smoking smells bad. And what smells bad is probably not good for your health.
That's easy to say for me, because I'm allergic to some cleaning liquids, so I'm aware of the combination smell, bad.
I wanted my children to be aware that passive smoking is bad too.
I grew up in a time that smoking was normal. People weren't aware of the dangers. My father wouldn't have smoked when he would have known the dangers for my lungs. As soon as I learned that passive smoking was an issue I informed him and he didn't smoke near me again.
Another reason for my kids to take me serious is that I have been honest about my smoking and drinking alcohol.
I never used drugs, but I've smoked six weeks. I stopped as soon as I realised that I didn't have the money to keep up with the social smoking that was taking place at that time. I was literally transforming my precious money to smoke.
During my years at university I had a few drinks, which is an understatement. LOL! I never got really drunk though. But I know what alcohol does, and also know what it doesn't. It doesn't solve problems, it doesn't make you a better person, even though I became most of the time a kind of stand-up comedienne.
So I could tell my children from experience that using alcohol and tobacco doesn't improve your life at all. It's mainly a way to keep your hands occupied at parties. Well, use a shawl or a bracelet to keep busy.
And I'm leading by example.
So I don't smoke, use drugs or use alcohol on a regular basis. I only use alcohol about 3 or 4 times a year. One or two glasses of something I really like. Most of the time it's because I got a bottle as a gift.
So in a way it's normal in our family not to use this all.
It also saves a lot of money, and we can use that for positive things, like ballet lessons for the girls, or other things.