Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Finally less pressure on him

Yesterday I went with my autistic son to a council organisation where they put pressure on people to work.

My son was assessed by a docotr that ignored the reports of the psychiatrist and our family physician.
He didn't ignore the very handsome social worker, who was with us, and he even flirted with me.
I would love men to flirt with me, which hardly happens, because I passed the age of mindless flirtations and I've always been too shy.
But the guy flirted with me. Oh, we had such a laugh!!


Until we got his report.
He considered our son to be able to work 100%.
After my objection he changed it to 80%.

Then we got an elderly woman all over us, putting pressure on my son.
She had me tell her that I would take no responsibility at all for him going to a job more than once or twice. She told me I was angry.
I wasn't, just telling her the truth about life with my son.

Turned out she had a course on autism, but didn't know anything about it.

We phoned a few times, not enjoying it on either side. But she backed out more and more, resulting in my son getting a kind of disability benefit.

She didn't resort to the usual controls of every three months, but she gave him a year to get his life sorted, trying to find a place for supported living.

Well, you know what we went through trying to find him a place to live.

Last monday we had to be present in her office.

My son was very nervous. He didn't know the building and he was afraid of what she might do.

I kind of pitied him. Tried to calm him down, but it didn't work enough.

We had to wait quit a long time at an unconfortable table and far too small chairs.
I bet the person eh,...deskclark who bought them is underweight. LOL!

When she called us in she was all smiles, from ear to ear.
Wearing red high heels, blonde painted/bleached short hair. Like she stepped out of the poser program without someone removing the wrinkles.
There's some dignity in getting older, greyer, and needing reading glasses.
But she sure didn't know about that.

Well, she started like the last time, with a far too elaborate introduction for someone with classic autism. I felt my son moving to stand-by position without even looking at him.

When she needed to take a breath, I kindly said I needed to clarify something before she was going to get into a discussion. My son't IQ was retested and it wasn't average but 81.
That's 1 point above getting all the support the country has to offer.

She suddenly came to her senses.
Before her eyes were glued above us on the door behind us.
Now she had to get her brain working. Ugh.

I almost felt guilty for telling her.

But she stopped telling what he had to do, and was far kinder to him.
He didn't know what to do with the sudden change of facial expression and mood.

After a bit talking to and fro, she asked me if I thought he would be able to get a job.
I shaked no, said it would cost more to make him work and give him support than that it would give society something and told her about his experiences at daycare.
She wanted him to go to the daycare in the neighbourhood. That's the new policy.
Great! There's none.

So she offered we could come back if we needed something, said she needed by law to call him back next year and saw us out.

Finally there's less pressure on him. Wow!

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