Thursday, October 11, 2012

He's back or maybe he'll never be.

Taking care of a paper is not easy.
Especially not when the people who work there are individuals with a high urge for competition and huge ego's.
I went through a lot of trouble to make them a team with the same ambition: to make a good paper.

At times I had to step over my own boundaries to make them move.
But finally we reached something. Slowly. But we did.

I was able to introduce a few new features to make the paper more efficient.
Nothing was perfect. But we were moving.

We all agreed it was worth to have a thorough try-out with an online paper.
It took a lot of time.

My friend is back.

No thank you.

Just telling me I was not doing things his way.
He was so opinionated, putting me down in public.
I don't think he even realised he did.

It seems to be the story of my life that people think they can put me down, look down on me, walk right over me.

He was my best friend.

It will be all over when he can't take my reaction.

I have learned so much the last years from people who thought they could say everything ugly they could think of about me.
I'm the person who I am, not the person others want me to be.
I'm not depending on the opinions of others about me.

It's nice when they think I'm a kind person, because that's what I am.
But when they think different, it's up to them.

But loosing a friend this way.
It gets to me.

He's hurt me very deep with his complete lack of respect, because I thought he always respected people.
I was appalled by his negative attitude, his sense of knowing it all better.
Can people change that much? Or did I miss this all those years.

He's the only one one this earth who knew me as a girl.
Or maybe I'd better say I knew him when I was a girl and he was a kind, caring, and energetic positive person who inspired others.

I doubt if the person he was will ever come back...



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