Friday, December 23, 2011

A place to live - a next step

a place to liveMy second son has finished his education to become a photographer a while ago and today he got a job at the local paper and tv organisation. (Which is different from the local paper I'm talking about).
he was also offered a new place to live as the protected living situation can be finished and changed to a place of his own and only minor supervision for about a year.
He's done very well and we're all very proud.

Pity was that they offered a place to live that was not fitting his needs at all.
Because he came from a protected livingenvironment the guy at the cooperation thought he could give him a very small place. But my son doesn't come from a small room is a psychiatric home, but from an appartment with a few seperate rooms.
Because he came from protected living he was not supposed to refuse what he was offered.

He didn't feel well about it all and he asked our opinion.
He's got his own assistant to deal with these matters, but she clearly didn't know how this works. So I called her and asked if she liked me to come with them to the cooperation to have a talk.
She said she wanted to have a look at the place and then decide what to do.
An hour later she called back to ask if I please would come with them.

The guy had a nice artificial smile and the face of a bully.
I had my age and the experience with people of building cooperations who want to get rid of their worst homes.

The assistant of my son started out with saying she could understand that they wouldn't offer my son something else.


So I stepped in and told her that she couldn't draw that conclusion as the law states they should offer a fitting home.
he almost jumped up like bitten by a dog and then said to me I knew nothing about it as I was only the mother.


Well, I've been through such terrible insults the past year, I've been sitting opposite people who looked far more down on me because their ego's were so terribly large to sit on, that this guy didn't even hit an emotion.
So all those terrible experiences have been good for something.

I told him that I was making a statement about his duty to the law not about my motherhood. He looked at me and then made the choice to ask me to explain.
So I first gave him something he could object to, and while he was thinking about how to reject what I said I gave the reason why his offer was not fitting.

The whole discussion went on when he suddenly said that when my son wanted a place to retreat when he had visitors in the place he offered he should send his visitors away.
"So you're telling me that the home-cooperation is interfering with the social life of the people inside their own house?"
"No, I'm saying that if he has visitors and needs a moment private he should send them home."
"So you're saying he is not allowed to have some private space in his own home and you're not allowing him a social life that fits his needs. That's a non fitting offer according to the law. And you're crossing the border by telling him how to live a social life inside his own home."

I thought the guy was nearly bursting.

My son's assistant said that her organisation should have been more clear about his needs.

And I tried to divert the attention by saying that they should have been more precise indeed, but that the cooperation should have made more clear how much information they wanted. As the request clearly stated: 2 rooms. The medical background should maybe requested in the setting of a medical evaluation of the offer by a doctor, to keep medical issues private in the way the law wants.

He looked at me and started to say that he needed to find someone else for the....
and then stopped talking.
So I was right by saying that they wanted to get rid of their worst homes first.

"So considering the fact that a non-fitting proposition has been made, the special searchperiod will be extended and the cooperation will make a new offer which is more fitting."
He agreed.

Job done.

We had a good laugh in the car and my son was very happy things turned out this way.
He didn't realise that even though he couldn't refuse they could never put his signature under the contract, he should have done that himself, and as he was not willing to accept the place they could have tried to force him into signing by putting psychological pressure on him. But nothing more.

We now have to find a new place for him to live as I don't expect an offer that will be far better.
But for now we can prepare for christmas.


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