Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Great compliments

Parents' evening.
One of those evenings that crowds of parents enter and leave the school to sit down for 10 minutes with a teacher.
We still have the car, so we were able to go there and be home in an acceptable time.
Otherwise I would have needed more than an hour to come back home. It has even taken 2 hours in the past. Only to get home from school in the evening!

I had a rotten day behind me.
The small buddha statue I´ve always had on my keyboard was gone, and I couldn´t find it anywhere. It was especially made for me by a Taiwanese artist. I can ask him to make one for me again, but that´s a different feel. And I don´t have the money either. It´s not much, but still.

My autistic son found out that he would get a tiny bit of the health insurance money back. He´d forgotten that and more important he´d forgotten how and when it would be returned. He felt cheated by his father because he thought the money was already put on his father's bank account.
He kept complaining about it, for two hours. repeating over and over again what he was thinking. Let's say it didn't help the headache I woke up with.
When he finally got hold of his father by mail or phone he found out the money was not even expected yet.

When we finally arrived at school I was tired and very surprised to find out the special event to help pupils make a choice for a profession was already finsihed or was not even held. Well, I wasn't supposed to have a look anyway. But I was curious.

Then it was our time to sit down at the table and discuss one of our daughters.
The teacher was an older man, very kind.
He said he admired our daughter for working so hard and being so persistant and appologised that he said she should always finsih her homework that one single time when we had written a letter that she didn't finsih it. He had to say it, because otherwise she would have been an exception and at that age peers wouldn't accept it. But she was the only one who always finsihed her homework and clearly had taken the time to gain insight and do well.
Then, to our surprise, he complimented us for being so connected with the girls and their schoolwork. Not many parents take the time to put everything aside and sit down and help their children during the whole sunday afternoon or a midweek evening.
I was utterly amazed to get a shower of compliments.
The minister said a few weeks ago that parents should involve themselves more in school and schoolwork. He said that that was clearly not meant for us.
Oh, how I wish someone else would have heard that way before we got pushed in a corner and were told such unkind things by childcare. We're not doing anything different than before, and now we get, for the first time, the honor of the work we put in, the love we invest and the motivation we give our kids.

When we said this at home the girls and boys said that they were not surprised and it was normal that we were always available for support. But that they also knew that most parents pay more attention to their sportsgear than to their children. In a way it was funny to get those down to earth reactions. Within a minute the special moment was over.
I think that's perfectly OK.

We do what we can. Maybe we can't give them all the material things we want to give them, but they get attention, love and loads of positive memories, so they can fly out into the world with positive self esteem and a good use of their brains and heart.
It was nice to see that at least one teacher picked this up in this way. Thank you.
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