Wednesday, November 30, 2011

His computer broke money to...

Can't say today was a day to enjoy. Ugh.

The computer of my autistic son broke down. Really broke down.
And as it's the only thing that makes him happy...

It was plain drama.
First he stated he had no guarantee anymore because his brother had installed an extra fan, and that merely stopped when I told him his brother is licensed to do so. Well, it took him an hour to digest this.

Then it was this, than it was that.

And then ofcourse the moneyproblem poppd up.
We don't have the money for a new!

I understand that's quite frustrating, but it's even more so when you refuse to do anything else. There are movies on TV, plenty of interesting books to read. Sportgames to play and do.

So it was autism on top. Ugh!
That's the problem of being a sahm in this case. Ther's no escape possible.

On top of it all I had been to the dentist this morning and got a shot of painkiller so close near the facial nerve that I couldn't close my eye and felt like half of my nose belonged to the neighbours.
It was nice, I didn't feel a scratch, not even from the shots themselves.
But it took all day to wear off, and it hurt, really hurt. I even feared the facial nerve would be damaged permanently. (Happened to an aunt.)
Well, nothing like that is the case.
But those two things added together made me thank heaven when he went to bed.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Messing around

Yesterday we spend almost all afternoon on mathematics. Explaining, making exercises.
It was like nothing else existed.

So today was kind of strange.
No articles that needed to be written, no maths, only laundry, cleaning and all that about which men think it´s made for women.

With the changes in the house nothing seems to have a place of it´s own. Like I have to reinvent everything.
Not really a problem as long as there´s no need for people to live there. LOL!

But there´s always someone at home who has to go to precisely the place I need to use.
In the past the change to winterclothes seemed to be a whole toodoo, but I can tell you, with almost grown up people it´s worse.
Just when you´ve put a blouse away they need it.
Just when you´ve cleaned the floor and it´s still wet.... they walk on it.

Well, I was used to small kids, they´re only larger now, I tell myself.

I´ve asked the neighbour if she knows someone with smaller children than mine, so I can give the clothes away with out the kids being told they´re wearing ours.
Let´s see where I put them.....

Monday, November 28, 2011

Long hours

I hardly slept last night.
One of the sons had to wake up early and be on the train where he would meet one of his brothers.
Together they would travel to the north, to work.

Problem is that he always has a hard time waking up and getting on his feet.
I myself was afraid of oversleeping because I have worked so hard last week that I needed a good night of sleep.

I saw no other way to stay awake.
No problem there.
My son was on his way to the train in time and I took a dive between the sheets to get a few hours of sleep.

Needless to say I didn't manage to do today what I had silently planned.
That was not all the result of a sleepless night.

One of the family members dropped his keys in a sway and didn't look where they landed.
He thought under the table.
So I searched there, cleaned the heating and the floor, and looked further.

I found the keys after a long time, at a completely different place.

Well, tomorrow is a new day and the vacuum won't eat itself during this night.
So, nightynight!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

First Chrismasmarket

Another saturday.

We were a bit late today to get the groceries, because we first had to go to another town to fetch a present for our son. He ordered it online, forgetting we had to fetch it today. Ugh.
But we were in time.

Then we went to Germany to get our groceries.
Last week it was written in the paper that the differences in price for groceries between our country and Germany was not as large anymore, well, they were wrong.
But you have to watch closely what to buy.

The potatoes are far larger and better, and cheap enough to create a difference. The same goes for the vegetables. The chinese cabbage looks better and tastes better and is not even half the price as it is here.
The same goes for many other things, including drinks.

When we went back it was already dark.
Then we saw lots of lights and it turned out there was a christmasmarket beside the road.
What a pity we really had to go home and make dinner for the kids, otherwise we would have gone there for a quick look.

Maybe they'll have another christmasmarket next week?

Friday, November 25, 2011

Writing done.

It's such a nice surprise to find after a long and intense day of working a small bag of licorice.
After writing a lot today I had a look in a bag to see if I had my notebook in there and found the licorice.
So I'm chewing now and enjoying the taste.

Just a small editiorial needs to be done now, and some slight adjustments because the news overhauled an article and I hate to leave the adjustments out.

But after that I can utter a high sigh.

The rest of the work is for some other people.
I've done my part of writing.

In between I managed to do three loads of laundry, feed the herd, clean a few things and listen to the kids, so they wouldn't in no way feel left out.
They're not, They know that.
But it's just a few years and then they're all having their own lives and probably their own families, so I try to enjoy family life as much as possible and make it as enjoyable as possible.

One of the girls came home with a 10 out of 10 for language. Wow!
It was a real surprise, because she doesn't get often marks that high and because she expected not very much.
I'm so happy for her.
She's in her final year and very motivated to get her diploma and start nursing school.

The past weeks she's thinking a lot about people in her life and who have contributed to the person she's become.
She said to me she wouldn't have had that 10 if I had not been so persistent in correcting her mistakes and in wanting the kids to speak proper dutch instead of some half proper dutch and half something else. Some people are chewing on the last bit of their verbs, or skip important parts of the sentence just because others understand them anyway. I also explained proverbs a lot and insisted on using them, even when they were still rather young. Now they're part of their vocabulary and she said she was so happy about that.

It's nice to see something paying off.

Now we have to get rid of that nasty cold that hangs in our town like a huge cloud.
Well, at least the mist has finally gone.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

The paper will be 90 %....

Another meeting at the paper.
There's more talking than writing.

Only 5 people showed up.
It became clear that I've written about 75% of all articles and it might end even in 90%.
That's not a joke.

There was one person who accepted a toparticle who didn't put even one word on paper. didn't even try! And catapulted the blame to someone else.
We had to ask him 6 times if he would start to write. Then someone else said that he might start in the weekend... he said he'd maybe give it a go!

The deadline is tomorrow evening!

As two other articles won't be realised either, that means I have to write 3 articles tomorrow. Like I have nothing else to do.

I've never ever seen such mess.
A bad organisation, volunteers who are on the list only by name, people who promiss articles and don't write a word, someone who is not able to do the job and is send to interview, a headeditor who doesn't even take the time to review articles in time and.. most amusing, an opinion-paper's head editor who is surprised to receive and article with an opinion. He's going to place it as a colum.

Let's say I'm free for a paid job as a journalist at a paper that is organised and delivers me coworkers I can WORK!!! with.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


The past week and this week are weeks of extremes.
We've had tremendous mist, which caused horrible accidents on the roads.
We were lucky there was no need to go somewhere, as one could hardly see more than a small line of light.

About 15 years ago we had such terrible mist too.
we came from a neighbouring town after a nice evening out, and were surprised by the white closed in world.
We were by car, but it was not safe to drive faster than a bicycle, if not slower.
The only solution we saw to arrive home in one piece was by me walking in front of the car, listening if I could hear something and walking on the middle line of the road.
We passed a policecar and they stopped us.
We explained what we were doing and they thought it to be a very wise decision, seeing that that road was not used much. Yep, that was why we went home that way.
They asked if they could drive with us, and so I walked 2 cars to the main road, where huge lights were able to give an impression where to go.

We came home safe and the precious babysitter was able to go home. She lived only a few doors away, but we joked about her finding her way home and not going inside the wrong house.

The other extreme is the low level of the river.
Ships can load only half their cargo and have to be very precise to follow the middle part.
It looks beautiful in this weather: the dark large rising sides and the small river between the brown sand.

Wish I had a good camera....

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Turn Back the Hands of Time

1. There's a Time Genie. She can put you back in time to relive a day that you loved. If you could turn back the hands of time, what day would you relive if given this opportunity?

There are so many days that are worth reliving.

2. What did you do yesterday?

I wrote the last articles for the paper, did laundry, made a nice dinner.

3. You've been given 3 parachutes, but there are 4 people who need them. Who will you not give one to: Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Kim Kardashian, or Simon Cowell? Why?

Do you really think they would wait until I've made a decision?
I bet they'll take one before I can blink an eye.

4. Where are you going and where have you been?

I was young and I'm growing old.

5. They say that books read as a child make more of an impact on a person than books read at any other time in life. Are there any books that you particularly loved, that shaped the way you think when you were little?

Haha! I read Tarzan, books about native americans, africans, books about astrology and Heidie.
No wonder I'm rather broadminded. LOL!

6. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?

Not having to wake up so early, as a few here in the house need to go away very early.

7. What was the last text message you received?

I never read them. I don't know how and I'm not bothering to learn.
I want to live, not to be a slave of my cellphone.

8. Do you prefer to call or text?

I hate them both. People are busy doing their things and they can perfectly live without me. I can reach them when I really need them, that's enough to know.

9. What were you doing at 9PM last night?

Writing the editorial.

Have a nice weekend!

When you want to participate too or want to read what others wrote, just click the toplogo.

Dear gram

Dear gram,

It's your birthday again. Or better said, it should have been your birthday.
I wish I could give you just one birthday more, so you could see the children and feel proud and happy.

On a day like this my memories dwell on those days long gone.
The smell of soup when we entered the house at the end of the morning.
My uncles sitting on the couch debating something special, or with their guitars, humming melodies I still hum when the weather is nice.

One by one the rest of the family would drop in.
Some very silent, congratulating you at the door and stealing a moment to give you your present out of sight of the rest.
Others with lots of noise and climbing the stairs like they were features of Mount Everest and never conquered before. They always had the need to be present and your gift would be given for all others to see.

You had a large box with blocks for the small ones. A building system I still keep at the attick for the next generation.
I can't remember any problems between the kids. But maybe I missed them, as I loved to help you in the kitchen and have fun with you, tasting the whipped cream on the cake and flatten it again with a hot spoon.

Later it was my turn to help with the soup, slicing an enormous pile of vegetables. You taught me how to use a large knife and people who see me slice food still ask me if I'm a cook. I'm still glad you taught me, because I need less time to prepare meals.
We always made soup the day before and often you asked me to stay and we had dinner, and watched TV or sang songs along with the gramophone. You took the effort to read the same books as I did, so we could talk about them.
How I cherish these wonderful memories.
Oh, and then in the morning you liked to keep the curtains closed and light candles. So often we've had candlelit breakfasts with butter on the bread put in the sugarbowl. I still long for the taste and the fun we had whispering and keeping silent so my uncle wouldn't wake up.

Your birthdays always ended with a huge pile of dishes in the kitchen.
Some years my aunties stayed and we tackled the lot with 6 or 8 people, barely able to move around in the kitchen. We always laughed a lot, even when there was not much to laugh about.

Some years they all had to leave and only my dad and I stayed.
You gave him a moment of rest in the large chair. I can still see him sitting there, watching TV, talking with my uncle, or just dozing off.
We would do the dishes like it was a real present. I still don't mind cleaning up the lot after special events.
Afterwards we would sit down and study the cards and presents. And you always said that age is an outer issue, that you still felt as young as ever. I could see it in your eyes.

Gram, I know now you were right.
I still feel the same energy in me, and each time I look in the mirror I'm kind of surprised I'm not as young anymore.
I did many things I enjoyed with you so much with my own children. Except for the candles at breakfast, I didn't want to risk to set the house on fire.

I understand now better than ever what motherhood meant to you, with your 7 kids, one of them chronically ill. You helped them grow up with humor and trust, you took them through war in a frontline city, with most of the family in the resistance. You included.
I know you cried, I've seen your tears. You lost your husband, and one by one your children. You've always worked hard and you said that nothing was more important than people, and to be yourself, and trust your own judgement.

I had only one picture of you, so I was surprised to find another one online on the site of a family member.
I see my daughters in you, and features of my son.
No wonder you're on my mind so often.
It's fun to see in your face the message you gave to me. "Observe the world, and think whatever you want. The whole world can have an opinion about you, they can label you or push their own opinions on you. But just think whatever you want. There's freedom in your mind, always."

It would be great to share my thoughts with you again.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Oops, blue screen!

I worked very hard to get most articles ready in time and when I finally took some air and played a game of cityville my screen went blue.
Oh my!!!

As I had to sow on a button on the trousers of one of the boys I decided to do that first. No way I was ready to be confronted with a failing computer, no way I wanted to see my articles gone.

Added to the stress was the knowledge that our ITC son will be away all week, so I would have to re-write all articles, and none won't be as good as the original ones.

I took a deep breath, did some chores, telling myself the computer needed to cool down and then restarted the thing.

Well, the fact that I'm here says enough, doesn't it?


Sunday, November 20, 2011

I Ran Meme

Because Bus is recovering from surgery...get well soon! old meme, from november 17 2007.

1. When's the last time you ran?

Last week, to catch the bus.

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?

No, not at all. I hate jeans that have tears and such. I want them without problems and also dark blue.
I have one pair of bleached jeans and it feels like I can't afford proper ones. I know it's psychological and silly.

3. What are you dreading right now?

The gift toodoo in december. We already have the event at december the fifth, and we can't afford it. We surely can't. And it feels so bad and sad.

4. Do you like Mexican food?

We don't have it often, but for once in a time I'm OK with it.

5. Favorite ice cream?

Depends on my mood. Banana, chocolate or lemon. All together is OK too. Yummy!

6. When was your last doctor's visit?

Ooohh, that's nibbling at my conscience. Eh...a year ago? Dunno. I should have gone to check my diabetes. But we agreed that as long as I check my own bloodsugars regularly I can make my own decisions.

7. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?

No, never.

8. How many pets do you have?


9. "First Loves Are Never Over;" is this true for you?

I don't think I need to dwell on that.
But I've seen a recent picture of him and he still has those features I loved so much. And they still make me smile.

Have a nice weekend!

When you want to participate too or want to read what others wrote, just click the toplogo.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Birthday presents.

They've outgrown their childhood and are entering a complete different world of making choices for the future.
Their 16th birthday feels kind of strange.
Ofcourse my memories of their birth are like it happened yesterday, but I also see the lady in them.

Their birthdaywishes are moderate, but I know they would love to receive far more than they wish.
They love horse riding and would love to get equestrian riding apparel as a present.
Investing in it should also involve far more riding lessons than they've got, so a present like this is out of reach for us.

They both got a new watch and a nice bracelet, ordered online.
We gave it before they went to bed, so they could think about wearing it tomorrow.
One of the girls got a japanese bowl, the other a statue of a balletdancer to hang her rings on.

I don't know what the older boys have in store for them.
All I know is that there's no need for me to prepare dinner as they will cook it.

I think it's great that their birthday is on a friday. It means no homework and a whole weekend to enjoy all the attention.

Another one who faked his researchdata.

I always said one can't distinguish the good and bad professors by the amount of publications they write and the frequency they speak on conferences.
In fact, I never had much adoration for those who frequented the social events and lacked contact with patients/clients. Many of them kept talking about that one discovery they made, without any progress in their views and research.
Resting on that one discovery they made, resting on their laurels and resting rich.
Me oh my, if I could earn their wages and make so many travels I would be a much more interesting person....maybe.

Yes, Maybe.

I warned that people would start faking data.
Some already did so when they were my students, and even then they were too stupid to do it well enough, so they got caught.
Or maybe I was too keen to catch them. Watching for too perfect data, or those data with just one or two exceptions, or questionnaires filled in in the same way, and other tricks I won'ty mention here, because they're still used.

It's a certain personality that matches these acts.
Most of these science cheaters are people who have large ego's that are very susceptible for fame and praise. They are very socially active and are very able to deal with people. They have a certain kind of charm and they think they can blind everyone.

That lack of self criticism and honesty makes them fail and disrespect their responsibility.

Repair your motor home now.

Owning a car, regardless of it's age, is still something we value a lot.
So I wasn't surprised the girls asked us to bring them to school tomorrow.
It's their birthday, the only day that question will be answered with a "yes".

After that we'll have one of the tires seen to.
It's slowly losing air, and we can't have that happen when the weather gets worse.
Now we can go to the garage without any problems, but after a real change of weather...

Yesterday we met the neighbour there, and he asked us what we thought about the best time for his motor home repair. That might seem a strange question, but a good friend of us comes from a family that travels in motor homes each vacation and a few times before he gave good advice to our neighbour.
So I called him and was told that right now will be fine.
Everything can be checked and repaired and then the motor home can go to it's winter lodge to wait for next spring.

Last night we had our first ugly cold night.
Already I long for spring. In fact I can't wait.
But forst the birthday of the girls.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Pink Ribbon discredited

This year we saw again a lot of attention for Pink Ribbon.
People bought expensive pink stuff with the intention that a large part of their money would go to cancer research.
Others engaged themselves in sportive activities to earn sponsormoney for Pink Ribbon.
All with most of the time a lot of emotions because of memories of friends, families and others who died from cancer.

Today it was in the news that Pink Ribbon didn´t spend the money like was expected.

Only 1.8% of the 16 million euro they collected was given to cancer research.
That´s about 288.000 euro.
They saved 7 million, unclear for what.
And they saved 1 million euro as a reserve.

Spending only 1.8% instead of 15% has a name.
It´s up to the authorities to use that word when they want to follow up on this situation.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Another pile gone

Today we collected the working gear of one of our sons, as he has to bring it back to his former employer.
3 trousers, lots of blouses, sweaters, a large coat with winterlining, and a lot of small stuff like ties and badges.
A large box full of carefully folded clothes is the result and tomorrow it will be gone.

Now the temperatures are below zero we've exchanged a lot of clothes, but there are still lots of piles to be worked through. It'll give a nice tidy-up to the wardrobes and the house. It's a hard job to keep up with the clutter urge of the male parts of the household.

Today I also wrote a few articles, but not as many as I planned.
I've got a very nasty cold.

2 days to go and then the girls will be celebrating their birthday.
Some of the boys have created nice surprises.
The girls will be 16.
What a pity I can't give them a sweet sixteen party.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Me oh my!

The more I work for the paper the more I see why it needs reorganisation.
Me oh my!

End of the afternoon I put my flu in the closet and went to a kind of market for non-profit organisations and businesspeople. The market was to bring requests of the organisations under the attention of the business people and they might be able to help.
Either because they can give, for example, their old materials a second life (we needed furniture) or they can give advice.

I was supposed to meet with one of the other people of the paper, but he didn't show up. Grrr.

I didn't like the market, because it was pure chaos. People who were supposed to assist enjoyed talking to their friends far more than helping people. people tried to be first, well, you know that bit ofcourse.
It was a delight to be outside again.

I called my son and we went to an interview.
The person who had to do it, didn't know anything about how to interview people. He kept on talking about himself, was not able to summarise and he didn't even thank for the interview.
It was a plain mess.
I tried to built a line in questioning, but at the moment that the person at the other end of the table was about to make a statement we could use he came babbling through it. Grrrr...

After that I sat in on a debate evening about care and financial consequences.
When I came outside it was sooooo co-o-o-o-old. My coat was not able to make me feel a bit warm, so we called home to ask someone to bring a warm coat to the railwaystation. That was a relief!

Now I have to write a load of articles, because we lack writers.

I would have been gone there, but it's the paper of a friend.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Our former coins back?

The economical situation calls for cut backs for everyone. Well, maybe not for the richest, but the guys and galls from the street will feel the recession in their stomachs and wallets.

Louder than ever the people dream about our former coin, which was not dependent upon poor european countries who now pull the euro down and into a crisis.

The only good thing of our minority government is that they agree that some research should be done into the come-back of the gulden.

I doubt however if the consequences on the long run will be as positive as we wish them to be.

We don't have a stable country anymore, where all people are welcome and tolerance and freedom of speech are matters of respect.

Even though the government want to ignore it: we do have poor people, we do have beggars and we do have illegal people who live in obscure places.
The political decisions whioch have been made in the recent past have contributed to the downfall of our country, and it will get even worse than it is now.

It's hypocritical to think that only on other countries loans are the problem of the recession. People have loaned themselves to bits here too.
I've always been proud to be one of the very few who have paid everything we own, even though we never went on vacation.
In a way I regret we haven't done what others did: buy a car, a house, a couch, a swimmingpool, a wintervacation and some exotic summervacation all on loans.

Right now we haven't had this all, and we're just as poor as others.
We can hardly make ends meet, and today the 13th has been a true almost full moon day, as two of the boys kind of went bezirk because we couldn't give them what they want: new computers.

No Sinterklaas for us (that's our gift-event on december 5th, instead of on christmas), no Santa Claus either. Just the darn rotten artificial tree and some plain food.

The girls will celebrate their birthday.
The boys are already jealous.
They don't even realise I worry that we have to go and live smaller... but how on earth will we find something smaller?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

How Long

1. Have you ever discovered a betrayal? If so, did you ask, “How long has THIS been going on”?

Yes, and no.
Does it matter how long someone didn't take me serious?

2. What is the longest line you've ever stood in? Would you do it again?

That's a long time ago. 3 hours to see the British Royal Jewelry.
I don't think I'll do it again, but it was well worth it.

3. Someone has hung a sign around your neck, and you have to wear it all day long. What does it say?

Dunno, haven't had time to read it. LOL!

4. As the Christmas season approaches, what song is it that you just can't wait to hear?

The song my great grandfather wrote.

5. What Christmas song do you dread to hear?

I don't think there is one.

6. How often do you read the last chapter of a book first?


7. Do you have a favorite movie that you just love to see each year during the holidays?

Not for the holidays, no.

8. Do you enjoy winter in the area that you live?

Depends, When we have rain all winter, no.
But when we have snow.... oh yes!!!

9. At holiday I think we all show more kindness. In your opinion, is this a “concept” that has value (like money or other tangible things) or does it exist as simply emotion? Why?

Some people want to cover themselves under a sheet and dream about peace.
Others talk a lot about peace and even have a good fight about it.
I think that a nice holiday adds to the feeling that peace is possible.

Have a nice weekend!

When you want to participate too or want to read what others wrote, just click the toplogo.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The joy of journalism

It was precisely 11 past 11 of the 11th day of the 11th month of 2011 when I closed the door behind me and went to my first interview in ages.

Ofcourse everything went perfect.
The person opposite me felt at ease and she invited her partner too who also enjoyed the interview.
The photographer (my son) got all the time and cooperation to make a series of nice shots.
I'm sure I'll visit the place (a restaurant) again in the near future.

I know the neighbourhood where we were very well, so after a visit to the supermarket to get a breadroll we walked to another place where we could gather some information.
One of the other editors had been in contact and they were very persistent that we needed to make an appointment. But we had none, because I had no voice yesterday and didn't know what I would be able to do today.

I went inside anyway and was received with open arms. When I told who we were, we got information and were guided through the complete building.
In one of the rooms we saw a couple of students of one of our colleges and I asked them how they were doing there and i got such an interesting story that I asked them if i could mail them to get more info to write about them. They went through the roof! And even more when their photo was taken. LOL!

After the tour we were brought to the person who could give us an interview, so I got that one done too.

On our way home I visited one of my favorite shops and at home everything was quiet.

Couldn't wish for more.

It's one of the joys of journalism to feel welcome and meet smiling people. And today we got all that.

Friday, November 11, 2011

No voice

Today I woke up and found out my voice is nothing but a whisper and sometimes a scraping ugly something of humanlike noise.
Apart from that, the pain was no fun either.

I tried to keep as quiet as possible...which is in comparison to others still very busy, because I've planned my round of interviews tomorrow.

Oh, how I hate this!

I had some phonecalls to make, had to visit a store to ask if they wanted to advertise (we still need a 1000 euro for the next edition), and make some appoitnments for tomorrow. I had to skip it all.

I'm not the kind of person who leans back on the couch and let the world live on, not at all.
Especially not when the cable tv is disturbed again.

In the afternoon I got a fever. Isn't life fun?

It's comforting to know I didn't give my kids anything of it. They were coughing already.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The meeting

My son was so nervous that he kept me awake, so I had only 2 hours of sleep.
And because I had caught a cold and a throat infection was the result I didn't sleep well during those few hours.

I was surprised I felt rather OK when we went on our way.

The woman who had handled his case was exactly as I pictured her when I had her on the phone.
Let's say it was quite a meeting.
She jumped on the fact that my son did some simple work for the paper and she said that it was clear he was able to work.
Well, there's no one willing to pay for that.
It took quite a while and quite some emotions to make her clear that I had no objection to my son being paid for the few hours a week he's doing some utterly simple volunteer work, but that she's very naieve to think someone will pay for it.

She came with the example of a person not able to communicate to put him in a secluded area underneath an office building when he could work in silence, with lots of special care.
I asked her what the benefit is of spending a lot of money in making someone do something and feel lonely, instead of respecting disabilities and inabilities.
I also explained that forcing him to work would mean making me spend about 7 hours a day motivating him and helping him to free himself from the stress for his effective working time with special support and the whole lot of about two hours. That I wanted to be paid for all the invested hours for their wishes. Like I have to go with him each time there's a meeting or anything else where his presence is required.

Ofcourse she said it doesn't work like that.
I said that I was doing far more than she did, and she was the one getting the paycheck each month and a good pension in the end.
I'm getting nothing, haven't been properly on vacation for over 25 years and I won't get a pension at all.

I don't think she understood anything of it.
"I know an autistic person who...."was her line. And she tried to imply that I didn't want him to work.
My reaction was very clear: I like him to be away so I could have some time without stress and I like more money to circle in the family.

We went after she gave him one year extra to find his way in life.
Then this al starts over again.

Just because some didn't want to listen to what the psychiatrist of our son had to say.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Preparing work and tomorrow

Today I worked a lot to get things ready for my articles which are due two weeks from now.
I thought I had more than a month, but communication isn't one of the best things of the person who coordinates things at the moment. Glad I discovered it today in one of the loads of mail.

I also found out that the person who was supposed to make some appointments didn't do his job well, or the secretary involved is sloppy. One way or another it means a lot of improvisation.

I've decided to plan as many interviews and visits on location as possible on friday.
I've got two people who can drive me then. (One is the photographer, but he's not very willing to start early.)

Working that way is OK with me.

I used to work that way when I had a lot of requests for articles, and I'll see if it works now too.

Right now I've done quite some research on the different subjects.
This generated questions, and when it ripened in my thoughts I got some more questions.
Some questions can be answered by doing more research and some can be used in the interviews.

It also means some articles are almost ready.

This evening I got a very enthousiastic mail welcoming me on friday. That's good for the soul. :)

During the weekend I'll finish most of the articles and then they're in well before the deadline.

That's different from the past.
I hate deadlines and I used to watch them pass before I started to work.
Ofcourse I had always done my research and such, but working under pressure made me tackle a great lot of material and generate good texts. My head editor knew this, and took it into account.

I want to work different now, because life has far more surprised that cost time than it used to.

Tomorrow I have to go with my auti son to talk about the special needs benefits he gets. I told him he has to wait and see and not be nervous.
The doctor that was on his case said he could work 40 hours a week. Haha!
He can't deal with regular work at all.
When I objected against it I was called and told that my son was not finished learning. Yea, tell me. He learns so slow that he'll be 90 when he's mastered the most basic things of life: feeling the need to work and leave house with optimism and function in a job.
If he'll ever learn that.

They made me feel pushed in a corner and told I am the stupid one. So I asked them how it happened that I had been his morther for all those years and they know everything better.

Since that time we were mainly left in peace.
The meeting to check on the plans to make him work was postponed half a year until now.
Well, all they can do is withdraw his benefits. They will do that in the very near future anyway, because cut backs are made at the expense of the people with chronic disease, the disabled and other people with special needs.
The idea that he'll life at home until I die makes me feel panicky.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Great, large and a lot more

The girls had a good time yesterday.

The workshop dance was a success for both, even though I could see only one of the girls as the performances were at the same time.

They both enjoyed the other workshops± singing and make-up, even though the girl who went to the last said she knew everything already.

The building we were was huge. Not wide, but tall.
We had to go 5 stories high on role staircases (There's another word for it but I can't remember at the moment). It was kind of sick to go that high.
There is an elevator in the building, but it goes very slow. Imagine a fire! Brrrr..

The panorama look over the city was nice, we could see the harbour at the other side of the town.

Turned out they had far too much of almost everything, so the parents got ice-creams too, we got drinks for on our way home and were offerent a 1000 liters of milk. So I thought that good for the free food distribution.

We were happy to leave the building, because it was far too warm there. Imagine to go to school there and have ballet lessons. Ugh...

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Melancholy Man

1. Are you more melancholy on occasion?

Yes, sometimes I am. Especially when there's music to enhance that mood.

2. What did you think you looked like when you were a teenager?

I didn't think much about myself at the time, even though I was asked to be a model and I was a well- trained balletdancer.
Now I think I should have been far more confident and I should have accepted the job.

3. Whose advice are you least likely to listen to?

People who hardly know me.

4. Tell us about a job that you liked when you were younger.

Didn't we have these questions before?
I loved my job at a magazine as a journalist and later training for head editor and such.
So it's fun and a delight to be back on a resembling job.

5. Would you lie to someone if you knew the truth would end your friendship or relationship?

No. True friendship can deal with a lot.

6. What do you have little or no patience for?

People who are impolite or work unethically.

7. What is there never enough hours in the day to do?

All days lack time for everything.

8. What is the most productive thing that you accomplished in October?

I almost never look back, so I really have to think.
Maybe it's coming up with a good plan for the reorganisation of the paper.

9. What have you always wanted to learn but haven't yet?

Parachute jumping.

Have a nice weekend!

When you want to participate too or want to read what others wrote, just click the toplogo.

Saturday, November 5, 2011


The girls are going to a special event tomorrow.
Once in a few months brothers and sisters of special needs kids are treated with a relaxing day.

Tomorrow is the last day the girls can partcipate, then they have to stop or they have to become a volunteer.

It's the best day ever, I expect, as it's held at one of our national balletacademies.
It's a place where the famous regularly act as guestteacher.

Tomrrow they're going to have a workshop dance and one of them a workshop singing and one of them something else. LOL! I've forgotten what, because they both love ballet.

Rumour goes that at least one of our national famous artists will be there.
As one of my girls want to become a balletdancer it's a great opportunity to ask questions.

This evening I went through the list of teachers of the school and to my surprise I saw some well known names.
Maybe I'll see some of them, my former pupils.
That would be nice.

I'll spend the day with their father.
He has troubles walking at the moment and I injured one of my knee ligaments, so we won't go far. LOL!
That's a pity as we won't have the opportunity often anymore to go to that part of the country.

We have to leave here at 6 in the morning. Ough!

Friday, November 4, 2011

And school again

To my surprise I had a mail asking the name of my daughter.
Her name was in the mail and I signed off with her and my surname.

In a way I was glad this important man of the exam,ination committee was not able to make from 1 and 1 a 2.

Today they (she and 2 others) tried to present their subject.
The person who told them to choose a subject and agreed with their choice seemed to have forgotten that. They needed to read a few booklets, but not all booklets.

My daughters was asked about a subject that was not her choice at all, and one of the others of her group took the time to look through all the booklets and she said that the subject was not mentioned in them.

I'm not sure of that person can be blamed.
The organisation that dealt with this project this week relies heavily on volunteers and people who haven't finished their studies.

Interesting is that these very same people decide on the results of this week and today's presentation, and these results make up 20% of the final examresults.
That's not allowed at all! They don't even have a proper diploma and are not certified to make such decisions.

I wonder what this school will answer.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

School again

One of my daughters experienced another failure of school.
With a few other students she worked hard this week to finish an assignment which should end in a presentation of a special subject.
They took a lot of camerashots and all the had left to do was transmitting them from the camera to the computer and assemble them according to their plans.

They needed a cable, belonging to the camera of school.
But there was no one to take the cable from a locked room. The teachers that could do that were in a meeting and refused to help them out.
They went to almost everyone at school who could help, but none was able to and some were even not at school at all.

So they knew nothing else to do than change their whole assignment. There was no time left for anything else as the presentation is tomorrow morning.

Because the marks for the presentation are part of their final exam, I've informed the examination committee.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A diversity on tuesday

Yep, a diversity.
It has been just one of those days that never stop keeping one busy.

The computer of my auti-son broke down due to malfunctioning of a fan.
Yes, he can read, watch movies, help in the house and keep himself busy.
No, he didn't do that.
His routine was broken and that has consequences. Ugh!

On of the older boys came home to get the drill.
It wasn't here and I told him so.
But his dad thought it was.
Later in the evening it turned out I was right. Haha!

One of the girls came home with extra homework.
She's dyslectic and needs more time to read a text than other people, and she needs to concentrate to do a bit more too.
When she couldn't manage to get a text read in the lesson she was told to read a booklet at home on the computer.

I needed that computer for my work... so it isn't finished now.
Not really a problem as I gave myself a deadline without an official one, but it means more work tomorrow.

The day went on just like that, one problem after another.

As the cherry on the cream I hurt my knee. To be precise: the lateral collateral ligament. I stepped to my computerchair and that was it.

Maybe I should stay in beed tomorrow and hide. LOL!