Saturday, February 5, 2011

25 years anniversary of motherhood

Today is my oldest son't birthday and it makes it also my 25th anniversary of being a mom.

Far too many meories go through my head.

At first we were told we wouldn't be able to get children.
That was by a professor who made a serious mistake, as we know.
I praised myself lucky to be able to know enough about research and medical subjects to start my own research review. I found out that he overlooked something, and due to my discovery We were able to have children.
The guy didn't like it, but I was pregnant and gave birth to a lovely baby boy.

Our second baby died the second day after birth.
It took me from the pink cloud and I never crawled back on it, because it also made me far more aware of what motherhood really is.

Looking back on my life as a mom makes me feel amazed.
How did I manage with so many small children?
Breastfeeding, 4 with special needs, twins.
If it would have been someone else I would have called her supermomma.

But before I wanted children I prepared very well.

My gram was a mom of 7. One of her son has a serious medical condition that required much attention and care, but she never failed to give all her children the feeling they got everything they needed.
"Embracing one, enables to you to smile to another and listen to the ones behind you too.", she used to say. I think multitasking is genetic.

My studies were also of great benefit.
Psychology and pedagogics made me aware of what a child needs, should be able to do at a certain age and what it requires from parents.
My specialties were autism, learning difficulties and some more subjects that were precisely what I needed for my children. Wow, was I lucky!
My medical studies, even though not finished because my oldest was born then, proved to be perfect. I didn't spend unnecessary time in waitingrooms and emergency departments, and our doc knew that when I called he'd better hurry.

I've been a loving, caring, but also a responsible mom.
Every decision was based on thinking.
It was important to me to be able to tell why I did something, and later precisely that enabled me to advice other parents.

The strong inner self confidence of being a good mom was the product of a long process. I doubted myself oh so many times. Did I well? Did I give my children the best?
When they grew older and people dealt with my children I got many, many compliments and finally I had to accept these.

And then, about a year ago, things started to happen because at a school children were bullied and my daughter stood up for them.
Some grown ups rather lash out than acknowledge their failures.
Things were said that never should have been said, we were blackmailed, and our parenthood was questioned.
Unbelievable!
And unbelievable things happened.

It gave me insight in a world that was never part of my life.
Insight in people I'd never met, and I suddenly understood so much more of what's going on in our country.
I'm sure this has made me into an even more understanding psychologist, and even though I don't think I'll play a role on the political theatre, I know I can play a role in bringing injustice and misuse of power to the attention of those who can make changes. I have to.

When all goes well, things will be set right again the 14th of february. Please send us your prayers and good energy, and wisdom to the person who decides.
We're good parents and our children are well, and that should be acknoeledged by now.

I love my family and each of my children.
We're a great bunch together, and I'm sure my children have received the loving and caring basis to fly out in the world.

They all say they've had a happy youth and that means a lot when children tell you that spontaneously.

25 years of motherhood have changed me a lot.
But I've never lost touch with myself and I always stood straight for my family.

I've experienced pain and grief, but also lots of happiness and joy.
I gave up a lot. But I received so much more.
I'm so glad I decided to be at home for my children. We've never been rich in money, but oh so much more rich in love and care.

And that's what motherhood is about.
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