Sunday, January 16, 2011

Our Count Down - 16 - an update

Last monday they wanted our reaction to their concept letter in and they would put it in the files and send the whole lot to court to ask to end guardianship.

It took quite some effort to change a silly and stupid mistake in their letter. I should have left it in and should have used it in court to make clear they're just not listening and they can't even take proper notes and transfer a cause properly.
But I wanted cooperation, not manipulation, so I applied a bit of pressure to make them change that mistake in a fact. They finally did.

The matter of them saying we're not cooperating was a completely different matter.
Ofcourse I told them we cooperated and gave them a list of facts that show we were.
I also made clear that when I say I can't get proper contact with a person that's not resistance. Especially not when I descibe the reason and afterwards I had it all right. As I'm not a clearvoyant I can say that my intuition and look on that person was perfectly right.
It might stir some emotions in the guy. But he's a professional and one of the best we're told. He should be able to deal with it. Just like I have to deal in my profession with people who tell me they dislike me. And I even didn't say I disliked him. I just said I couldn't reach him the way I want to be in contact with other people.

I didn't even get a mail stating they received mine, so I had to ask for that.
Turned out they didn't send their paperwork to the court, but will have a meeting next tuesday to write the final letter.
Hmmm... does that smell of reconsideration?

Now we've had our final say to them, I guess, I feel less inclined to talk a lot about the matter.
Daily life is far more important and I can finally let go of the feeling that I have to get through to someones brain to make him understand we're OK.
I felt very helpless towards them. People who won't understand that we don't even know what kind of support to ask because all is well are hard people to deal with.
I hope they finally gained the insight that I have al over time and the people around us too: that we're good parents and know how to deal with matters. When I need help I can ask for it. When I don't need help... why should I ask for it?

I've talked a great lot the past time to that guy. I've told him the truth.
He's the kind of person who rather believes others than the persons involved.
Then the school said the girls are perfectly OK.
He still didn't believe us.

I asked him if the school was not cooperating either, if he could tell why.
Ofcourse I didn't get an answer.

All I hope is that they've finally come to the insight to ask the court to finish the guardianship because there is no reason to spend lots of money on something that hasn't happened, on a family that's functioning OK.
We're a happy bunch, and we've even been that when we were under pressure.
We are much stronger than we thought and I think this all has been a great learning experience for all of us.

I think my kids can face the future from a good family, and they know now consciously they have a very strong base.

It's a pity that just before they fly away from the nest some people threw so much dirt in the nest.
It's time they remove the complete lot that I've thrown out and let us be.

I have changed a bit.
I have made the choice not to try to hard anymore to live up to expectations of others. I tried so hard to get proper person to person contact with the guy, to create a working friendship, and it only made me see myself so much clearer.

Haha...I'm far more of a buddhist than I thought.
I just wanted to sit there and meditate and let him find out all about us himself.
But these people can't do without words... so boy...did I talk!

So I'm very quiet now.
Last night I burned some incense and listened to a video of the Dalai Lama.
He makes me smile, and take position in the relativity of things again.

Let those people decide tuesday, and let them carry their own karma.
I hope we don't have to play any role in that.
The time is over of that world meeting ours.
I tried to create a bridge, I'm open to welcome them in our world.
All they have to do is open their eyes and heart, feel the care and compassion that's needed to meet people heart to heart.

It's a difficult job they have.
I'm so lucky just to be a mom and myself.

It's a pity when they'll stick to their ill ways of thinking.
It's their thinking.
Not mine, not of my family and not of our lives.

Thank you for your support.
In case you still want to support us through the days that last us to go to court again, please get in contact.
Wouldn't it be great to take some letters with me that state I have helped you with solving parenting problems. :)
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