Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Motivating to grow up

Motivating children to grow up is a responsibility of each and every parent.
It's how we do it that makes the difference.

Ofcourse one can leave the child at ease and let it be.
Growth takes place anyway, and a certain amount of development too.
But if it's the development we want is a different question.
Its completely dependent on outer influences and nowadays these influences are not optimal.

The way society talks about young people is at least to be called depressing.
It's not stimulating at all and it certainly doesn't provide a young person with optimism and the willingness to work for the future.

Some schools are great places to be and they really give a boast to the itentity and self esteem of the young person.
Other schools are just breeding nests and playgrounds of bullies and among the teachers, who should all be role models, there are individuals who are nothing more than statues of helpnessness and hopelessness.

So up to the parents it is.

We should provide morality and ethics, stimulation and motivation, optimism and realism, and a huge amount of persistence.

I mention ethics, even though it might be for some readers an unexpected word.
But we, parents, should behave as enthically as possible, so our children will develop a healthy feeling of what's right and wrong.

It's so easy to say:"When he bullies you, just hit him with a firm fist and it will be over immediately."
My question is always: is that the way you want a person to solve his problems all his life?

What we put in a young child, comes out all his life.
I don't want my children solving their problems with violence, not physical, not verbal.

It's important to teach young children to see how behaviour is caused and that influencing the cause can solve the problem.
It's also important to teach them that even though we, in certain cases, can't change the behaviour of others, we can change out own perception and our own attitude.

Being able to understand your own feelings and behaviour is a main goal, and being able to control your behaviour and set goals is another.

Sometimes parents ask if I don't want to keep my girls my little ones.
We've got only a few years to go and then they'll leave the nest and fly.

I've enjoyed them as babies, and that time went far too fast.
I've enjoyed them as toddlers and all the years that followed.
And now I see them as young women.
The same way I motivated them to stand up and try to walk, I motivate them to stand up for themselves and walk in society.
I have given them everything they need and I will continue doing so, but I won't hang on their wings when they try to fly.

I'm proud they have become such wonderful creatures and they stand on the rim of the nest with sharp eyes, knowing what's good for them and what not.
They can turn to me and ask whatever they want to know, and I'm there.

But I know that those with the inner urge to fly fly higher and better, so I'll feed the urge instead of pushing them out of the nest or keeping them small.

Motivating young people to grow up is an art. Is pure creativity.
It's an intense work of love.


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