Friday, January 21, 2011

Memories of yesterday

For my third son it was a very special day.

It was his 20est birthday today and it was the day he got his uniform for his practical work as a security ward at the university hospital.

Me oh my...how handsome he looks in that uniform. Wow!

Suddenly he looks a lot more grown up and a real gentleman.

Yesterday he was born.
It was not my choice it happened in hospital, but as my second child died none took a risk.
His character could be seen before he was born already.
His head didn't bow right and I felt it pushing to the bone.
We all had a good laugh afterwards because I made some strange intuitive movement with my hips and he was able to enter the world.

His doctor examined him, gave him a "good to go" and put him on his back in the bed and went away.
A few minutes later he burbed very loud and aspirated part of the content of his stomach (glucose water). All laughed, but I saw his colour and yelled he had aspirated and was suffocating, and indeed he was.
Thanks to an experienced nurse who crossed the border of her profession he was sucked out very deep and could breathe again.

So in a way he's a little miracle.

He caused a big one, as the next morning the doctor came to the ward and openly apologised for the mistake he made and complimented me for my fast reaction. It had never happened and would never happen again. I appreciated his gesture, but to me it was more important that I had a healthy son and not another dead baby.

He turned out a very lifely kid, with a huge curiosity, needing constant attention.
With two older brothers, one clearly with an autism spectrum disorder, I had the feeling of being everywhere at the same time.
Momma octopus a friend called me, because I could watch and interact with the kids, crochet curtains for a friend and have a meaningful conversation at the same time.
It was the start of many years being the general in the house, inventing strategies to teach my children life skills, give them a happy time, and celebrate their individuality.

Yes, some things I did completely different than other moms.
I never said "because I say so", but made them experience things.
Like when they needed sleep. They would love to go to sleep, because the next morning they would feel fresh and OK.

My kids were never jealous. They all had something special to do when a new baby got breastfeeding, for instance.
One was allowed to carry the cloth to wipe the face. The other was allowed to get a diaper and be the diaper guardian all during the feed, and the oldest was allowed to put a bit of water on the washing cloth, so we all went together through the whole time of breastfeeding (with a cookie and drinks for us big people) and changing nappies.
Sometimes I felt snow white with the dwarfs, especially when I had 6 children.
When feeding the twins and all the boys were at home I had my own quartet of dwarfs sitting around me. The oldest boys could read and would read a story and the rest were diaper guardian, keeper of the washing cloth, carrier of the wiping cloth and whatever functions were needed when friends sat with them to enjoy some quiet time.

Moms thanked me for giving them some quiet in the afternoon, and I had a nice bunch of children listening to a story and feeling calm at the sounds of the milk swallowed by the babies.
I always used a skarf when breastfeeding, to stay decent in the presence of these friends. Yesterday I was taking something out of my wardrobe and a red skarf with white small flowers remembered me of that time.

Now all these friends are young man who talk with me about their plans for the future.
Life goes so fast...
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