Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A firm attitude

Some children need a firm attitude and when they won't get it at home, they'll go and find it.

One of the children of a friend is a very persistant little lady. She has her ways to get the enormous amount of attention she claims. In the past no normal conversation with her mother was possible, because no limits were set.

I quietly started to set those limits myself, using very little steps so the mother wouldn't feel offended.
I saw the girls reacted. First by claiming her mother and kissing her a lot.
But even though it was clear she belonged to her mother, that didn't make her part of the conversation for me.
Unconsciously her mother reacted too. Her bodylanguage was a bit less inviting, and when she started to enjoy the conversation a bit more, she started to keep her daughter a bit away from her. The girl was allowed to sit on the couch, but not on her lap anymore.
Soon after that she began to offer her child the opportunity to play with toys she couldn't otherwise play with.

I cab give plenty of other examples of how the little child's behaviour was molded into more acceptable behaviour.

Yesterday I had to babysit her and her siblings.

When I came in she fell into her usual behavior, but I told her that she woukd get attention too when I was ready with re brother. She looked amazed, but kept quiet nevertheless.

When I brought her upstairs she told me she was happy I was there, because she felt so much calmer inside.

What a great way to decribe her feelings.


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