Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Our Count Down - 9

My first meeting alone with the guardian.

He was surprised I wanted to record the session, but didn't object.

The main part of the meeting was spend on talking through the mail I send him about not trusting him.
We've got a history with the former organisation, and he should understand where we're coming from. We're treated very bad, and I won't let that happen again.

One would expect that talking together would erase the strange feeling.
I don't often feel I don't like or don't trust people.
He's nice. I can say that.
But I still don't trust him.
I can't put into words exactly what I sense about him. It doesn't feel good.

He made some irresponsible mistakes during the first meeting, because of his high ego. Pretended insight where had none.
I told him so and he said he didn't do it...said he didn't remember it.. and when it turned out I knew perfectly well what happened he said he didn't mean it that way.
Felt like I was talking with a kid. Sorry.
Well, my children are far more honest than he is.

This is apart from the fact that I consider him an intruder in our lives.
I know I'm a good mom and I'm doing OK and my familiemembers are OK too.
But suddenly a magnifier is held above us and they're trying to find fault with us.

Those who know me know I'm not happy with the way society has changed the past years. The way they treat people with special needs, the way they treat young people.
Every single person is seen like a worker.
There's not enough care for people anymore, not enough solidarity, not enough compassion.

The guy does nothing with my emotions.
He only asked me if I had someone to talk about it all.
I didn't even trust him to give him the answer I would have given him in case I'd feel at ease with him.

I can deal with what happened, meaning that it won't cause psychological damage.
I do however mind we're not treated with respect and we're not treated well.
The expectations I have of professionals are high. They think they're more and better than other people, well...proof it.
Don't tell me how to raise my children when you haven't even dealth with the challenged we've gone through.
That's how I feel.

And certainly not when you're showing off you're not even able to handle properly the problems of your own children.

So the protest and distrust in me stays.

The guy told me we couldn't change guardians one after another.
Then he has to deal with the fact that the girls and I don't trust him.

to go: 280 days


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