Friday, November 26, 2010

Our Count Down - 12

On wednesday we had a meeting again.

My main goal was to try and establish a pleasant working relationship based on equality.

I've tried all sorts of ways, but apart from discussions that were superficial, nothing interesting happened.

Again no empathy at all.
At least one might expect some consideration for what the girls are going through... nothing.
No question if they've had a nice birthday.

Again we were faced with all too hasty conclusions.
I said the girls have recently gone through a few weeks of being tired and getting low grades, referring to the lack of a relaxed summer- and autumnvacation.
He threw himself on the subject, stating things that were not true and certainly not intended. I didn't say they were tired from before the summervacation, I didn't say they were tired because of him, I didn't say anything else than that they recently went through a period of tiredness. It might even be due to the flu that some of their friends had.

His frame of mind is very limited. He can't understand where I'm coming from when I tell him that my relationships with people are based on being myself and the acceptance that the other person is himself too. In fact, to feel myself comfortable the other should be himself too.
Playing Child Care copper or trying to outwit someone else is creating a distance between people.
I guess he needs it.
I don't blame him, but I'm clear towards his teamleader how we feel and what happens between him and us.

The girls don't feel comfortable and save with him.
I think it's great they can define their own boundaries, and I share their feelings.
When I told him about that he had his interpretations ready.

I wrote his teamleader before and she told me she would let us know next week about the outcome of the teammeeting.
Then I wrote her asking how to deal with the fact that he wanted a meeting with my daughter alone. If it was absolutely necessary, as it's not my parenting style to force my children to deal with people they don't feel save with.
We as grown ups can deal with the situation, even though we don't like it, but the girls... that's different.
They shouldn't be exposed to people like child protection who just write about them what they want and this guy who interprets things, uses al sorts of verbal games etc etc.

I was mailed that my daughter was allowed to give a writen reaction.

I was glad to be able to catch her just in time, before she left school.
I told her about the option to write, but left it up to her whether to go or not.
She was happy to come home and write... because it was "just a waste of time to go to town and back again".

We also went to school this week to hear how the girls are doing.

The groupleaders were very clear: the girls do well, are OK, don't require any special attention from child care.
One of the teachers mentioned that one of the girls had fear of failure, had her training and that the school kept a close look on her, but that she did very well.

The guy threw himself on the paper... one could see his face: finally something negative!!!
He didn't ask any questions. Didn't even want to know where it came from, how severe it was, etc etc.

Well, I wish I knew what the guy is thinking.

And I wish I knew how he goes about with his own children.
He should be a perfect parent and should have perfect children to feel himself so above us.

Count down: 271 days to go.


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