Monday, August 2, 2010

When human lightning strikes - a down day

Yesterday I had a very difficult day.

As I had to comment on the final report on us of Child Protection Services I knew I was up for a struggle.
Not only had they filled a lot of paper, I knew there would be harsh lies in it.

And there were.

The whole case is based on what the 2 groupteachers told them.
The woman told them we were members of a sect, what we aren't and the teacher doesn't like one of my daughter and can't interpret emotions, as is shown at school so many times.

They have nothing else than their statements against us.

And they were against us... unbelievable.
The guy even stated how the father of the children and I behave towards each other, who's boss (I am according to him) and even said I was very critical. I am. But he said it in such a way that it's not for the benefit of the children, but puts me in a very dark light.

There's nothing wrong with my girls, and they know that.
That's why they pulled a whole list of might-be's and maybe's out of the closet, just to get us to court as bad parents and get someone supervise the family.

I don't mind someone peeking in here, but I do mind going to court, as I am a very good mother and not the person they describe.

With two sons brought to adulthood I know how to prepare young people to leave the house.
Yet, they state I can't.

As a mom, talking with other moms with daughters the same age, I know what to expect at this age and what not. I'm a psychologist, so I've even had the theory and the training to assess development.
Yet they state my daughters don't behave according to their age and I have to be supervised to see I treat them that way.

Etc etc.

To back up their statements they state several times in the report that the parents are not able to see problems in the right proportions.

It feels like influencing the reader.
They can't back up that statement, other than that we didn't get a therapist involved in a case I could handle myself.

The whole report was based, as said, on people who didn't do their job well at school, which the school has acknowledged.
The woman didn't even know we were not a member of a sect, the man isn't liked at school and was drunk at the day out of the group, and was seen making advances to a married woman. She had to stand up and leave to end it.
The school has stated to us that our girls behave according to their age and have asked two times to change that in the reports, but it's refused. Bluntly refused.

My corrections and additions to the reports of the first Child Services who entered the family have not been used. They refuse to correct facts by saying it's just my opinion.
Well, I know my kids very well and know my family!!

They even have stated that we spend a lot of time on the therapeutical plans of the two oldest.
Which is completely untrue as they live on their own, with minimal support and they're adults and have to decide on their own plans.

Then they state that we have to spend much attention to the sons who are still at home and because of that the girls lack attention.

This is so sick!!

I have more time and attention, quality time, for my girls than working moms.

Point is that often a judge takes such a bunch of lies for the truth and enforces all sorts of therapies on people.

We need according to them:
Multiple-System-Therapy. We don't even fit a small bit the criteria. The girls don't have behavioral problems. They don't take autism in the family, etc etc.
I need therapy. Haha!!!
Etc etc.

They have pulled everything out of the closet to create a picture of our family that suggest we're in need of heavy intervention.
And we're just a normal family. OK, we have two sons with special needs.
But they're above 18 and are not subject of Child Protection Services.

I can't stop about this....so I will. LOL!

Yesterday I couldn't harness myself against this all.
To see my family, to see the girls and to see me described as people we are absolutely not hurts so deep, I can hardly tell.

In their sick minds they told us the girls were not save from their father and they wanted to enforce outplacement. So their dad said that in case they would enforce it he would leave. They said yes.
He left on the 31th anniversary of our wedding day.
He sleeps at the places of the oldest 2, but that can't go on.
So if this drama goes on, we have to break up places and we have to move.

I don't have the money to stay here.
And I'm afraid the plans to move to the UK will be impossible forever.

All because two teacher didn't bother to speak with my girls because they thought they were members of a sect.
They looked at them from a wrong frame of mind and saw things that aren't there. They're not depressed, they're not without friends at school, they feel well.
But those people are believed, no matter what their boss states.

We do have a lawyer, but hardly the money.
Now I need the girls to be assessed by a psychologist which costs hundreds of euros.
And for nothing, because they won't find anything.

Yes, I had a downday yesterday, and I have to guard myself not to fall in the pit again.

In Buddhism a wonderful ritual/meditation wishes well to all creatures.
Not only to family and friends, but also to those who harm us.
Metta to these people. They don't know they lack true love and compassion for other people. As in buddhism is said: they are not knowing yet.

How sad it is that people at Child Protection services are not able to recognise a good family where individual family members love each other and are happy together.
We all make mistakes, and so do we. But we're able to learn and move on.

I hope I'm able to leave the lies in their hands.
I know they're not the truth.
My children are good people, even when they're having special needs.
They don't deserve family therapy that is designed for those who steal and attack people in the night.

My thoughs are circling, aren't they? :)

Metta to you too.
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