Thursday, July 1, 2010

True love from a mother can't be ignored, can it?

Dear Russ, Ruth and other friends.

To know that my online friends feel the same about the issue helps a lot.

I've saved the second report to work on it today, so I could go through the emotions just one time and won't feel the need to "save them for later".

I'm fighting someone who is very unprofessional, and those are the most difficult to oppose.
She based her reports on false information from school. It was said, for instance, that my girl behaved badly and had to report herself each day for punishment.
This is clearly untrue and it can be proven.

Point is that I need to find out if it was someone from school who said so or the person investigating us.

I can cope with things like these.
Life isn't fun, even though it's time it'll be fun for us.

I feel hurt, because she wrote we're unaffectionate parents.
That hurts so deep.
My second child, first daughter died 2 days after birth, and holding her silent body, knowing her soul so far away, made me deeply aware of how deep the love of a mother is.
I had so much love for her, but had to burry her.

We felt so blessed with more children.
Each child was a unique gift.
Because my little daughter died I was so much more aware of all my feelings for the new children.
In fact I couldn't have lived my life without the love for my children. They would have found their ways to institutions, instead of being raised with care and precision every day.
Even though people started to push me to go to work, I made the choice to stay at home with my children and I've almost never doubted that decision.

Not working for money didn't mean not staying updated in my profession or not using my skills and talents. I tried to help where possible.
When the children were little during the evenings and when they grew older online.
We could have been rich by now, but working without payment made help and support available for those who didn't have enough money and gave me the opportunity to be available for the children at all times necessary.

When someone states I'm not affectionate it shakes at the fundaments of my existence.
It devaluates all the love and care, the hugs and kisses, the comforting, the natural bond between mother and children and all that keeps a family together.
It shocked me to read it, and it even shocked me more that someone even considers the thought.

But inside me I hear my girls tell me I'm the best mom in the world (sorry other moms), and they would never trade me for another one.
I also feel how much I love my children and I'm happy to know I express it daily. Not only in words, but also in the way I deal with them, look at them, hug them, and wipe their hairs out of their faces when they're asleep.

This love is so strong, that I want to shout it from the highest tower.

All I can hope is that the other women who're on our case now will see it next week, when we're having a new meeting.

True love can't be ignored, can it?

After acknowledging the fact that I'm very buddhistic in nature I've realised that I'm able to leave people like that person who calls me unaffactionate kind of outside my life.
I can't find the right words.
She has hurt me deep, but at the same time I feel that she has a long way to go to be able to recognise love in her own life.
I kind of pity her for not seeing it in our eyes. She calls it loyalty, but it's pure love and care.

Maybe she has dealt with so many dysfunctioning families that she's not able to see good in the good ones.
That she thinks there's always evil everywhere.

I almost feel sorry for her and the way she thinks she needs to see us.
What in her makes her so defensive against our love between us all, that she describes it into despicable terms?

I also feel a bit, just a tiny bit, of gratefulness.
People like her are a mirror for us. We're more aware of our bond together, feel stronger, and are more able to set our priorities straight.
People like her can destroy families, I'm very sure of that, but we feel stronger, because we feel we're OK.

I'm always amazed that people are able to tell everything about others after seeing them two hours.
Yes, two hours... that's all.

We know each other a lifetime.
That stands for something, doesn't it?
That we have fun during dinner, can almost catch puberty hormones in the air at times, have long talks about important issues of life, be silent together without feeling awkward, that we all can grow at our own pace and in our own qualities.

I see them grow, my children. Becoming wonderful people, some within the limits of their own minds.
The babies of the past are now young people with talents, who smile, are happy and know what's important in life.
They care for others, love their family and friends.

Can't get that without the true love of a parent.

Yes, I'll hug the kids from you, Russ.
And we'll have special dessert to celebrate all the love and care between us and between us and our friends.

Love is so much stronger than ignorance.



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