Thursday, June 10, 2010

In fact it's their basic right to be trusted.



Terrible humidity, 25 degrees celcius.
Thunder and lightning and loads of rain expected for the night.
Guess a sauna feels like it is now.

But the elections are over and we now have to wait which parties will form a coalition and who will become prime minister.

Today has been a day of filling in forms and getting things arranged for the kids.
More meetings will follow, but I'm glad 2 of the boys get opportunities for their future.

I can arrange meetings and such, but they have to use the opportunities.

I also got a call from the psychiatrist of 2 of the boys.
Thought he wanted to talk about one of the boys, as we had to cancel yesterday's appointment.
Instead he stepped over the boundaries of his profession and grilled me on some aspects of the case, without knowing the facts.
It's interesting to see how even people who are thought to be able to carry the responsibility of putting objectivity above subjectivity, are stuck in their own frame of mind and project their own ideas and phantasies in a situation.

I'm not going to say too much here, but when he can't handle a situation that's his life. I can deal with my life and I can even provide a theoretical basis to back me up in the love and care I've given all my children when they needed it.

He tried to put guilt on my shoulders, but I've done nothing wrong at all, and all of my children are doing well.
My autistic son even invited someone for his birthday, which is the first time in more than 10 years, and we had a great time.
On top of it the birthdayboy won a prize on internet. A collectors item of a game.
He didn't care for the thing, but he experienced the joy of winning something.
Quite a new experience for him.

It's not due to his psychiatrist, but to the effort of our family as a whole and I stand firm against everyone who wants to tell us we're not OK, just because they think they've heard that.

We're a special family with a huge potential to face the difficulties in life.
There are many theories to describe the dynamics in families and I dare to say that some of the main theories are not able to describe families with autism.
We can't be compared to a box with marbles, where shaking one marble means they're all shifting place. Some autists are stuck in their roles and at their places and thus don't behave like a marble at all.

We need new theories to describe families with autism, the dynamics of functional and dysfunctional ones.
Don't tell me my family is dysfuntional because your theory is wrong, but adapt to a better view by following your heart and by listening and looking well.

Give people the freedom to deal with life their own way, and accept and trust them when they tell you they're OK.
Even children have the right to say they're OK when they are OK.

In fact it's their basic right to be trusted.
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