Friday, May 28, 2010

Twins, together or not?

A while ago a friend and teacher at the school of the girls had a short talk to me and it's still bugging my mind.

According to him they needed to spend more time sperate from each other to develop their own individuality.


The girls were seperated after birth and when they were awake they cried at a strange sound. And very loud!

One of the nurses knew me well and asked me if I had a solution.
"Maybe they need each other, as they were so suddenly without each other after all those months."
She took one of them and put her in the incubator with her sister.
They took each other's hands, looked at each other for a while and then dozed off.

When they went to preschool, the teacher told me that she was surprised they played such a lot with other children.
Once in a while they looked at each other, often at the same time, but then played on.
She was impressed that at such a young age they were completely different. Not only because they had different looks, but mainly because they had such different characters and behaved in a different way.

At school they were not allowed to be in the same group.
The result was that they were spending more hours together in breaks and at home, like they needed a minimal amount of "twintime".
But they developed even more their own circle of friends, apart from the group of mutual friends.

Last year they were put together in the same group, because it was more convenient for school. There would be less time needed for extra support for my dyslectic girl, they said, as some things are arranged spontaneously between twins. Like writing down homework.

Fact is that the dyslectic girl supported her sister, and not the other way round. LOL!
She is more ambitious, accurate and less messy. And she loves studying.

At home they study apart, have their own friends, their own hobbies and their own ways of dealing with their brothers.
They have their own habits, etc etc.

But they consciously enjoy the fact that they're in the same group at school.
It'll last just one more month. The one that's left before the summerholidays.
After that they'll never be together in the same group. Maybe sometimes for a short time, but certainly never for a whole year.

So I'm not telling them to do more things apart, as the mother of one of their friend wasn't told her daughter should spend less time with her best friend.
They spend more time together than my daughters.

So I'm not saying anything to my girls.
They're enjoying their last weeks in the same group.
I hope they have lots of fun.


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