Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Continuing Story: meeting where?

My autistic son (classical autism) doesn't like to leave the house.
I've always tried to make leaving as attractive as possible, but apart from going to the psychiatrist, the dentist and occasionally to the shops he doesn't go out.

We tried daycare, a place where he could learn some sills to work, but it didn't work out. It was too much for him.

Then we, (his social worker and I) had the idea of a kind of a buddy. Someone to meet outside the home to do something he would like to do.

They've met once at the office and once alone outise the office. They made a walk, bought something to drink and went home again.

She made the next appointment with him at the daycare centre, where people can drink a cuppa at the restaurant.
Ofcourse a wrong choice, as he had dubious feelings about the place.

A few days ago he started to complain about everything again.
I didn't realise that he was already thinking about today, so we tried to deal with him as good as possible.
Yesterday was worse and this morning we had a problem again. Which means that he had a bad mood, was complaining about everything, being unkind etc etc.
Suddenly I realised that he must be nervous about the appointment of this afternoon.

Yep, I guessed right.

He didn't want to meet her at that place.
No problem... we just needed to find something different.

Problem with my son is that he knows what he wants, but he doesn't communicate it.
Maybe the day will come that matters like these are solved in seconds, I don't know.
But today we needed more time.
So we first suggested different places to go to.
Nothing was good enough.

And then I suggested he could go with her here to the shopping centre.

A smile dawned on his face and broke through.

One call and now he's showering.
I've just shaved him.

Now we have to take some hurdles before he's gone.
His trousers, his belt, his shoes.
Always at the same place, and always a small panick attack and him telling me that he can't find it.

I try to stay calm and breathe in and breathe out.
When I get stressed, he gets stressed too.

He'll be back in an hour.
Just enough time to give his room a quick clean.


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