Saturday, April 3, 2010

Autism. Thoughts and communication

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One of my main duties here as autism mom is to clarify what people intend to express.

But at times I fail.

Yesterday evening the father of the children made an appointment with his son.

All seemed to be clear.

He stated they would go to town at 14.00 hours.

So when he arrived here at 13.35 hours I offered him coffee and a lunch.
But I was greeted with a mad looking male, who reacted unkind to my offers.
Why was his son not ready?

I told him his son has plenty of time to get his coat and shoes on... why not take a coffee.

"Coffee, coffee...I don't want coffee. We need to leave now to catch the train of 14.00 hours."

"You said you wanted to leave at 2."

"Yes, from the railwaystation."

Was it strange we expected that he wanted to leave from home?

Well, this was just another example of part of the message not communicated well, with problems as a consequence.

This time I was able to keep my autistic son's head cool.
His shoes were already standing beside the door, the coat was ready.

They left in time and caught the train in time.

Often a lack of communication like this leads to a panicky autistic son, who needs hours to get quiet again, and an angry dad, because hé thinks he said it well enough for others to understand.

***sigh***
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