Sunday, February 14, 2010

"I'm so sorry" - Really??

february 14 2010

A close
to the EC-drama

I'm a very forgiving person, and it helps a lot to know that whatever happens it'll disappear in time.

But as a mom of 6 I know that saying "I'm sorry" not always solves the problems that were created.
Often other people have to live with the mistakes made.

There's one lesson in live I've always taught my children: whatever you do in this universe, it always has an effect. And when you are responsible for the movement, you should be brave enough to carry the consequences.

The accusations that have been made have created unrest in the whole EC community.
People took sides and some where not hesitant to blog about that, sometimes with names, but always with distrust.
Someone is even busy to invent a "big brother is watching you" to control people, and some have welcomed the idea and want it too.

So the bad qualities of people got a boost, and distrust has been created. And there's nothing more nagging and destroying to relationships than distrust.
Some have left because of that.

As I was called to be a cheater too (as were members of my autism advocates team) I have been faced with blatant distrust. And that hurts.
Making my rounds to drop is no fun anymore. "Is he measuring my activity on his blog now? Does my presence show up well? What will he think when for one or other reason my blog is not showing on the statistics and he sees I'm dropping his EC?" The person who uses this device knows who I mean. It's a pity I have to create yet another account to comment, otherwise I would have commented on his blog.

We have a dutch saying which can't be translated well. It's like: The character of the host, defines his trust in his guests.

People have started to distrust each other, just because one person didn't go with his findings to the organisation that should take care of it, no he shouted it out and used names I would never ever accept from anyone. Certainly not from a grown man with or without child.
(Are you crazy to call me a cheater at my age??? Who are you to drag my good name through the mud?)

By bringing the allegations out in the open, he prevented good research into the matter, so those who are not to blame wouldn't have been blamed.

Interesting was that some people followed him without thought in his accusations.
That was very interesting.
Me oh my! The spam, the mails, and the blogposts ofcourse.
Well, I hope these people have enough ability of self-reflection to learn something about themselves.

At the 11th the entrecard blog addressed the issue and tried to put a halt to it.

It's the 14th now and an apology appears. (Or did it appear earlier?)

Ofcourse I went to my blog to see an apology in the comments.
Nothing.

Well, I have learned my children to tell people in a polite way, but directly to them, without public, when they have a problem with them.
I also taught my children that an apology should be handled the same.

It takes guts to say you're sorry when you really mean it.
I for myself won't accept one that's not meant, and the kids know it.
It's always easy to see if an apology is sincere...
It's also easy to read that most times too.

When an apology is sincere it should go with an attempt to undo as much of the damage as possible.
So in this case the posts should be deleted, and the comments too.
It's not done to gain from hurting others.
Especially not when your intention was to act against those who don't add to the statistics of your site when dropping.

I myself would have left entrecard.
The good faith people had in each other has been disturbed.
Names have been dragged through the mud, and when this happens there are always people who keep the distrust, the doubt. Especially after the way you worded your apology.

Well... I keep asking myself if I would have been less angry when I wouldn't have seen you retweeting about Gomey when at the same time you slandered the person who wrote the article about him and some of the people who started the action.

I posted my thoughts, with less words, as a comment to your blog.
You didn't post it.
Well, I don't mind.
Because I left out one good advice, I should have given you.

When you really want to make money you won't use blogs on blogspot, but you would get your own url.
A grown up man who thinks he can call other people names, certainly would have the guts to get one.

Next time someone pulls me, or my collegues autism advocates in the dirt I certainly put the authorities on the case.

Grow up!


I hope your child will be well soon.



These have been my last words on the matter.
I have more important issues to deal with, both online and in real life.
And I want to enjoy the Olympics without a cloud in my head.
When I keep feeling the way I feel now, I'll leave EC.
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