Thursday, February 11, 2010

The continuing story - she couldn't help either

february 11 2010

After months of trying to motivate him, after month of seeing him struggle with his own limits of his autism, we had a meeting with the psychologist of the daycare.

I was curious what a collegue would do. How she would approach the problem, and especially how she would make him feel better.

We nearly overslept. With a sinusinfection and the allergy of the time of year making me eyes itch and my head feel like it's filled with fluffed cotton balls, it was easy to stay asleep and incorporate the alarm in my dreams.
Then suddenly I sat straight up in bed, still asleep, with one thought: "Are the girls to school?"

The past weeks I had to wake them up and tell them to leave.

But a few hours before I already called them and brushed them out.
I'll never ever go to sleep after that again.

Well, we made it in time to the meeting, the coffee was good, the smiles too, and the rest was a waste of time.

The psychologist told me that traveling was a great burden to him, that many autistic people are not able to go by bus and that the steps involved to go to there were too many.

So before he had said a word she already knew the problem. The next disappointment in a long row.

He told her he didn't mind going by bus.

I told her that he has gone by bus as long as he lives, because we don't have a car.
That he likes the routine, and doesn't mind the rest when it's no further than to town, and that the problem would still exist even when a taxi would fetch him.

The problem is not how he gets there, but how he can be helped to leave the house.

She tried to make him describe what goes on in his mind, but he can't. Tried to make him tell her the difference between when he goes somewhere and when he stops in the middle of preparations of leaving. He can't.

It was clear that the woman wasn't able to get one step further in understanding and helping him.

So we agreed that he'll be welcome next friday and when he won't show up his place will be given to someone else.

We agreed that going to the same facility in another town won't be a success either.

So everything his social worker and I did to get him there was for nothing.
The whole to-do starts again.
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