Thursday, December 17, 2009

The continuing story - surprises

december 17 2009

After he (17, classic autist) went to daycare and came home happy, I assumed he would go the next time without problems.


he hasn't gone since, even though I've tried so much to make him go.
We even promissed him double pocket money, threw a fit to get it without going to daycare and in the end... didn't go.

Yesterday I talked with the woman who supports him there. We didn't have much to say to each other. It's not us who need to go, it's him.
We have tried everything.

She invited him for the christmas tea today, but he smiled and said that he couldn't cope with such a large group and made very clear he didn't even think about going.
I feel he made the wrong decision.
The people there are so nice and understanding, I would have even gone without him.

Not much later the mail brought an envelope and in it a nice letter and a small booklet.
He was invited to have a look and chose one of the items in it. It's from the organisation which runs the daycare.

He probably wants the backpack, even though it'll stand unused in his room.

It's sad he has all the opportunities right in front of him and doesn't take them.

There are people who say we should be positive about autism, and they nearly shut my mouth with their bare hands when I tell what we have to deal with on a daily basis.

They have children with autism who are able to face the world, who do well at school, with or without support and a lot of energy invested by all sorts of people.
They see happiness on the face of their children when they accomplish something or see something they like.

Here we're struggling from day to day.
He dropped out of school because he couldn't cope.
He needs to be told everything he needs to do and we either get a meltdown, temper trantrum, or a faint smile like he thinks we're mad.
Simple things, like taking a shower, are for him huge undertakings and most of the time he just refuses. Imagine a person of 150 kg not showering a week. Yea..
When he goes he needs to soap put in his hand, otherwise he just lets the water run down. He needs to be told to shampoo his hair, but when it's not straight in front if him he tells me there's no shampoo anymore.

Each time he needs to go somewhere we need to prepare him well, and even then he keeps complaining all the time.

He complaints all the time, regardless of how others feel or what they are doing.
He only stops when he's asleep.

Ofcourse we tried all the books, all the theories, all the different kind of wondercures.

But all I know is that nature is more powerful and I'm just a no one.

Today it snowed almost all day.
He never ever wants to get out in the snow.

This afternoon he suddenly came down, walked through the room and headed for his shoes and put them on.
Then he took his coat and went for a stroll outside.

I still doubt whether it was a dream.

I can't count how many times I've asked him to walk with me, and he suddenly went. Without even asking me to go.

Yes, it was a day full of surprises.



  1. Hi!
    Nice to meet you. I don't remember if I have left a comment to you or not before.
    I read your posts about your everyday life with your children with autism.
    You must have an angel's patience. I can well understand if you sometimes get really tired of all of the battles you go through each and every day.
    My heart goes out to you.
    I did not know much about autism before reading your blog. But I am trying to learn.
    My very best wishes to you and your family.

  2. God bless you! You sure have your hands full. I wish you the patience to deal with your lot in life.

    Thank you for sharing your real and honest stories about autism. I get tired of hearing from people who think that autism is something that can be cured.


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