Monday, November 16, 2009

Manic Monday #189

november 16 2009

You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks.

How do you spend the next fourteen days?

Well, I've dealt with a brain tumor. Didn't need surgery. It was cured with meds.

Spending 14 days before loosing part of myself... Hmmm...
I would inform important people, record what I want to say to the world and move to Scotland as soon as possible.

Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.

What do you talk about?

Wouldn't be a large party.
I've always been far too shy for one night stands and such.

My speech will address the fact that each of them are people which are "different".
They were all surprising.

One became the husband, because I thought he would be a place of rest for my soul.
Instead of that my soul fell in a pit, because of his autism.
The loneliness was so deep, that it seamed to be the main issue I had to conquer in my life.

One I respected for the way he dared to be himself.
Being with him was a mix of resting my head against his shoulder and acceptance of him and myself.
He seemed to be a person who allowed other people to be free while searching for his own freedom.
Our relationship was a roller coaster, with him directing speed and direction.
When he found his own freedom, I was able to see myself in the mirror and assume the roles he left. Being a mom to his son was one step too far. I should have stayed shy, silent, and accepting him completely.
So he threw me out of his life, and I tried to fight back, which made him só angry.
I never know why he told me so many years to find my own identity and when I did he used it to kick against it.
What hurt me most was that his son and I really loved each other and he split us up, leaving the boy with another woman leaving him. I never got the chance to explain.

Years later I saw the father again and he still harboured a grudge.
So far for giving people the freedom to be.

I still felt love towards him.
I think we need to work that out in a next life.

Person 3 has been my home.
He still makes me smile when I think about him.
He respected me, and made me respect myself, my love for other people.
We were blown towards each other by the wind and with the same movement we were blown away from each other.
It's how life is sometimes.

I hope I can be his home and resting place when we are old.

When they all three would die, I'll miss him most, even though we're not able to live together right now.
He's too restless, too much himself, without taking away something from me.
He's the only one who has never ever hurt me, who respects me fully and makes me feel whole.

You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.

Which option do you select?

OK, send me to the moon.

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1 comment:

  1. good to know you didn't have to go thru surgery.

    great answers esp to #2.


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