Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The continuing story - No is no, but not for everyone?

november 4 2009

Today we had an appointment with my autistic son's psychiatrist.

We wanted to hear his opinion about my son having problems going to daycare, and we wanted to discuss our visit to the national autism center. (See here).

To be honest, I didn't expect much.
Too often we went there to hear something interesting, or to get some backing up in the way we're dealing with our son, and we left with a smile, but nothing more than that.

Well, let's say I love pleasant surprises.
And I got one today.

My son was a bit more open to talk than usual, so we discussed which problems he experienced and what he wanted to change himself.
Ofcourse at first he blamed the daycare itself for being too noisy and such, but I reminded him of our talk a few days ago, in which I told him that he gave autism a chance to rule his life, instead of being the boss over his own autism.

Then he came with some good suggestions how he could get used to the place in a smoother way.
That was absolutely great.

Then we told what we experienced at the national autism center.
That I had the feeling they were pushing us to use their facilities, whereas they offer about the same as daycare here.
It's just a difference in name: daycare vs daytreatment, and a difference in the need to keep one's ego on top. (I hope you understand what I mean.)
The psychiatrist smiled and agreed we could go there in the future, in case we needed them.

He adviced us to take more time to give our son the chance to adjust to the daycare here in town.

Then our son told him all by himself that he thought his meds were not working.
Well, when he doesn't use them, his behaviour is worse.
But we've been dealing with some terrible meltdowns the past weeks, and I was amazed my son put that clearly on the table.

Last time nothing happened, but this time the precription was changed and when everything is OK we can expect changes for the better.

We left with the feeling of being heard and we were all very content with the advice we got.

At home I found a mail from the woman of the national autism center.
I'd mailed her last week that my son didn't want to go there, and that we didn't want to stop daycare here to make him go a lot further from home to a facility which is about the same.

We got an appointment after years of waiting.
When we were referred there we had no facilities for autistic young people in town, but when we were moving up the waitinglist things changed and the organization for the disabled opened their facilities for autistic young people too.

We thought we had a good agreement: when things would go wrong here, he could go there.
To enable him to get a mental picture of the facility there we agreed with an appointment to have a look, she would send us the date.

The secretary did, inviting son and father. Not mom. And at a date we'd mentioned as impossible. She wrote we'd been there for an intake. (Which was wrong as we just wanted to be informed.)

I mailed the secretary back to tell her that date was inconvenient. Using the mailadres of the organisation and putting her name and department in the subjectline. Couldn't go wrong.
I thought it was better to mail than to write a letter to get the wrong appointment canceled so other people could use that time.

The woman we had the first meeting with mailed back at an unpleasant tone, like she was the teacher telling me off for using the wrong pen on the wrong paper.
I should have mailed her.
Then she gave me a summary of the meeting, Like I wasn't able to memorize that myself and mentioned that my son was put on the waitinglist.

Well, when I get a mail from the secretary I mail the secretary.
But I didn't want to sound too intelligent, so I apologized, and immediately after that told her that putting my son on the waitinglist was far too soon, and not wanted.

I stressed again that we came there for information and not to make solid plans for treatment.

Her comment on that mail I found when we got home from the psychiatrist:
She didn't like to mail (she said she liked it when we were there and she gave us her mailadres) and she wanted us to make an appointment with their psychiatrist so we could get clarity over the treatment our son would get there.


We went there for info and now they want to pull us into treatment we don't want for our son???

What is so difficult to understand?
Doesn't she know the meaning of the word "no"?

Well, it feels like she gets a bonus for every autistic youngster she pulls in there.
What a pity she has to do without it.

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1 comment:

  1. came here to visit and drop the EC...and btw, I would like to ask a favor if you could help us vote for my daughter...if you have time....your help is much appreciated....thanks!

    * You can Vote for Akesha by answering this question and post the whole sentence as your comment:
    Question: Akesha is my winning Pinoy Smile because ----------
    Note: You can cast your vote and comment everyday. Thanks!


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