Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The continuing story: the evening before

september 30 2009

Now I'm trying to deal with my autistic son of 17 who is going through all the excuses not to go to daycare tomorrow.
I have to stay patient, and friendly.
When my voice just gives a tremble of losing patience, he'll burst out in a meltdown.

A while ago I told him he had to go to daycare, because the law wants him to do something. Either go to school or go to daycare.
I added that when he wouldn't I wouldn't accept going to court for him, but he, as almost an 18 year old, would carry to consequences: admission to a psychiatric facility.

He didn't take it seriously, and I think he's forgotten what I told him.
But I feel I have no choice.
I just can't cope anymore.

There are other children to care for who want to make something of their lives, who are able to take advice, inspiration and everything else to go ahead.

Who don't make me feel I'm investing so much... in a deep, dark, endless hole...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Mom's can't retire

september 29 2009

Mom's can't retire, otherwise I would step back...NOW!!

Not only is the day filled with the care for all my children, their father is recovering from knee surgery.

I'm running to appointments, making decisions and I also have to deal with him.

So yesterday I hurried to a meeting with the social worker of one of my sons, to discuss issues we already discussed at home and she worded everything perfectly the same as I did. So the whole meeting was not necessary at all.
When waiting I accidentally pushed over a cup of chocolate. The liquid splashed all over his trousers.
Well, when I go on creating a pile of laundry that way I'd better find my own laundrylady.

At home I landed in an unexpected scene.
The patient in shorts cooking.
That means...
  • the soup was too think and should have been used as tomato sauce over spagehtti
  • the potatotoes were peeled and then thrown in a pan to cook. So I had to take them out and slice them, otherwise the large one wouldn't still be ready while the small ones would have dissolved.
  • The sausages were mislaid.. I found them just in time.
  • Ofcourse the kitchen was a complete mess... as always when he creates something we feel forced to eat to prevent a temper tantrum.

So I went to work.
Saved enough liquid from what he called soup to make the children feel they were eating real soup.
Sliced the potatoes, and cooked them rather well.
Made vegetables, found the sausages and baked them and served dinner 30 minutes too late.

Then I was supposed to go to one of the schools for a parent's evening.
I canceled.

All my kids want attention. Some have problems sleeping, which was the case yesterday. And then one wants to talk.
Sometimes I take the talking outside, it's far more pleasant when walking through the park or near the lake.
We were not even 5 minutes outside when it started to rain.
In the comfort of home the boy in question kept on talking, so I was in bed far too in the day.

6.30 the girls were up and getting ready for school.
One of the boys was told he wasn't welcome at his job when he was having a stuffed nose, was coughing and had a headache.
He didn't look like a mexflu patient, but he decided he was just following the rules by calling he wouldn't come in.
So we called in time and we had to keep calling 5 times before we had the manager. That means, he fell asleep and I called.

These are just a few examples of daily life.

And it goes on and on and on.

Mom's can't retire.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Manic Monday #183

september 28 2009

What is the longest time you've gone with your Internet not working in your home?

Hmmm, I don't know, because I try not to get my stress up too high when I've got no internet. But it has been weeeeeekkkkksssss! (Oh dear, how did I survive without my dear online friends?)

How many email addresses do you regularly use?

  1. for family
  2. for online friends and rather important mail
  3. for people who want to get in touch with me and all the other mail

Are you able to access the Internet on your phone? If so, how frequently do you use it?

But I'm not a phone fan.
Just the other day I told my family I'm sick of people expecting me to be available all the time.
I got rid of the normal connection because sometimes I had to spend hours on the phone replying to this, replying to that, answering for the kids who were not at home, pleasing friends who were bored with their own lives (but not too bored to come over and help me with 6 kinds.). And I threw the normal phone out because the kids were on the phone too much and it was costing too much!
(And yes, I had an answering machine, with messages from people like: "I called you an hour ago, why haven't you called me back?")

Now there's a mobile phone people want me to be available from 7 in the morning until deep in the night. Even when I'm showering. LOL!
So connecting with a much hated thing to internet.... nej...

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

World Heart Day

september 27 2009

It's World Heart Day.

According to the World Health Organisation cardiovascular diseases kill 17.5 million lives a year.
We now know that many people die from a heart attack or stroke without any previous signal. Which seems to be in strange opposition to the many warning signals that are listed for heartproblems.
There are indeed people who fit the picture and report chestpains and all the wellknown symptoms, but it has been known for a long time that women don't follow these expectations.

So it's more important to try to prevent any problems.
Risk factors are: raised blood pressure, cholesterol, homocysteine and glucose levels, smoking, inadequate intake of fruit and vegetables, overweight, obesity and physical inactivity.

The World Heart Federation organized and noted activities at this special awareness day at more than 100 places in the world. You can find them on their site ::here::.
But what is more important: you can find information, newsletters and a lot more at their site and at the site of your local heart organization.

Be aware that fatal heart disease slips into your body and takes it over without you realising it.
One of my friends got a heart attack last year and she was rushed to hospital more dead than alive. She's walking now again, just a shadow of her old self, and she wants to warn everyone that prevention is far more important than recognition.

Have a healthy life!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I Call Your Name

september 26 2009

1. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have chosen, and why?

I think my name is OK.
Maybe a gaelic name would fit me well too.

2. If you could relive a year in your life, what age would it be, and why?

I would like to be young again. Naieve. With my gram and dad around.

3. If you could go back and change one friendship in your past, who would it have been, and why?

I would go back to HK and tell him I´ll wait the three years he needs to finish his studies.
Or I would go back to Hans v Laake and tell him not to go to America.

Why? Because my future would have been completely different.

4. If you could have dated one person in your past that you did not date, who would it be, and why?

I would love to have dated SD. He was the kindest person I've known and I've named my eldest son after him.

6. If you had the opportunity to live in another country, which one would it be, and why? If you choose NOT to live in another country, why do you want to stay in your current country?

I would love to live in Scotland. Answering the call of my genes.
I'm sure we'll move from here, because I don't feel happy with my country anymore. Too many rules, to many controls. I miss the freedom of the past, the tolerance and a lot more.

7. If you could choose your dream job, what would it be, and why?

I've always wanted to be a midwife. And knowing myself, I would have been a good one.
But now? I'm creative, want to be in nature.
Living in Scotland I can see myself making cheese, for instance. Selling it at a small cottage in the mountains. (Yea, like the crowds would come there. LOL!)

8. If you could wish a wish and it be guaranteed to come true (other than riches) what would it be, and why?

I would wish a husband who cares for us deeply, and who wants to share responsibilities with humor.

9. If you could meet two blogger friends (you may choose more, if you wish) who would they be?

I would love to travel around the world to meet all my online friends.
Yes, it´s a long list of interesting people.

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Friday, September 25, 2009

The continuing story: he didn't go

september 25 2009

Finally we arrived at the day that my son (17) with classic autism would go to daycare.
A special facility where people with special needs get the chance to experience a real life working setting.

I woke him up at 6.30, as he requested.
We went downstairs, had breakfast, and then I was thrown back into years of struggling each morning for 1,5 to 2 hours to get him to school.
OK, he was a bit different, but he's older.

He moaned, argued, sobbed, yelled, threw with doors, and was perfectly clear: he was not going.

Ofcourse I went through all sorts of behaviour towards him: I was patient and kind, clear and strong, manipulative, even blackmailing him, but I could not change his mind.
Getting angry didn't help, nor did crying.

Even his dad, lying on the couch with his painful knee, meant he could help and started to try and give him enough confidence to go.
It didn't help at all.
The boy in question only got more angry and more afraid to go.

It's awful to see someone struggle so much with his own fears and lack of ability to take a risk.

When it was beyond the time he could reach his "job" in time, he was even told we could call to tell them he would be later, but it was very clear: he was not going.

So I called and told one of the daycare leaders he wouldn't come today.

Everyone calmed down, and to be honest, I felt sad and a bit betrayed that my first day without him after having him home for almost 2 years just had been nothing more than an illusion.

Later in the morning his tutor called.
She asked how he was and was very, very kind.
He even was invited to come over for a cup of tea in the afternoon.
But he didn't want to go and promised he would go next wednesday without any problems.

We've been in this situation before.
Not only that we had to deal with this kind of extreme behaviour, but also that he had his own system in his mind.

The last two weeks we have been there on wednesday. So he feels it's only logic that he starts on wednesday. Starting out of line, on friday, makes him feel uncomfortable.
He can't explain his feelings and he doesn't have an insight in this kind of obsession.

We can only hope that wednesday will be alright.

As a consequence of his early morning temper and meltdowns, he was rather kind today.
He even allowed the girls to practice for their bagpipe exam of tomorrow. (Practicing is not with bagpipes, but with a kind of flute.)

Please keep your fingers crossed for the girls, so they will get well through their exam.


Food 4 Thought Friday

september 25 2009

What is your favorite part of FALL?

Fall isn't my favorite season at all.
I love the colours, when they're there.
And the mushrooms.

If you could go anywhere this weekend, where would you go?

Visit the girls at their bagpipe exam.

What are you currently addicted to?

There's no room to be addicted, and no time.

Midnight Snack
Have you already begun your Christmas shopping?

We don't have presents at christmas here, but at Sinterklaas (december 6th).
I doubt whether we'll manage to get things for the kids.
At the moment we don't have money available.

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life, what is it just for this week?)

Don't set the expectation for others too high, and don't set them too low for yourself.

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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Being mom and dad at the same time

september 24 2009

The father of the children had his knee surgery this afternoon.
The nurse called when he'd left the OR and told me to call her back about one and a half hour later. It took her 5 minutes to find her own number.
So strange she didn't want to call back when he would be ready to leave the hospital. It's quite normal to do so and the little information booklet said they would.
Maybe it was due to the fact that she was from another country.

Well, we were in the middle of dinner when the patient himself called he was almost ready to leave the hospital.
He was home in no time.

So now I'm mom and dad at the same time, as far as I wasn't that before, and I have a patient to attend to.
A patient I wouldn't have given permission to leave the hospital, because his leg under his knee is at least as twice as thick as the other one.
He keeps it up (at my place of the couch) all the time.

Well, we'll see what happens tomorrow.

My autistic son is now reading the rules and regulations of daycare.
He's tried quite a lot to escape from his fate, but nothing worked so far.
Right now I don't know if he's preparing himself seriously or whether he's trying to find something to get a fit about and use it not to go.

I'll keep you informed.

So I hope I won't oversleep tomorrow and get him out of the house in time.

Please keep your fingers crossed he'll go without problems and he'll enjoy his time there.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The continuing story: another appointment

september 17 2009

Yesterday my autistic son made life for us a complete hell.
He kept on moaning, complaining, being unfriendly to others, slamming the door (it squeeks now), stamping on the stairs (when he keeps on doing that things will badly go wrong). He really made trouble between him and one of the others.

Well, he's nervous about going to daycare...

Then he started to tell us he was not going, etc etc.

Because I had to spend 1,5 to 2 hours each day to motivate him to go to school, I´m really afraid I´ll end up doing that again.
I don´t want to.

Today we had a meeting to see his tutor there.
Before we left there was a lot of stress, because he was not willing to go, and because his father was coming too.

The last one shows more autistic symptoms with each year he's growing older, and he feels we need to do everything the way he wants to. But that doesn't work.
Because my autistic son clings to the way he does things, they got in a huge discussion.
I really felt a peace fighter. Ugh!

Well, we landed at the daycare, had a coffee and a good talk.

Afterwards we went to the shopping center because he needed shoes and some clothes.
We didn't find the polo shirts we wanted, but T-shirts instead, and I found a very nice skirt. One that's the same as the people wear there, except it has no emblem.
(So there's no money left at all of the money I wanted to take with me to england.)

At home he was very positive about going friday.
I was so relieved!!

But in the evening the whole complaining and bugging his brother started again.

Will this even end??


3 long hours

september 23 2009

Today was the interview with a psychologist about my ADHD son to see whether he can be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder too.

I was in there for 3 whole hours!!!

What amazed me was that I felt no connection with the psychologist at all. She was nice, I was nice, and that's it.
I've never dealt with a colleague that way. It was amazing!!
What a neutral situation.

So it were 3 full hours of answering questions and thinking aloud.

When I left my headache was worse.

At home the eldest was waiting, because he wanted to solve some computerproblems at my computer. He didn't even touch the computer...

But we had a nice dinner all together.

And after it I managed to get some computerproblems solved myself.

Tomorrow I'll be with my autistic son at daycare again, to meet his tutor.
The day after his father will have surgery on his knee, and the day after that my autistic son will go to daycare for the first time.

So it's a full agenda!


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My girls were bullied

september 22 2009

It almost never happens, but today I overslept.

I came downstairs when the girls were already wearing their coats and shoes, which meant I had to be ready in 15 minutes ànd bicycle to the busstation in the same time.
With the pain in my back something impossible.

The father of the children said I could make it, but the way I felt... no!
I'm not 16, looking well no matter how my hair looks. And leaving home with wet hair is asking for a disaster.

Turned out later that the woman who would be of importance for the meeting had called that she was ill.

So why the meeting?

Last friday the girls and other kids of their class enjoyed the weather so much that they went to the park near school.
After a while only 4 girls were left and they decided to go too when a few girls from school started bullying them and when they wanted to walk away, even pushed them back over and over again.

It lasted quite a while, until a woman who saw it all happen ended the situation.
She offered to talk with school to tell what happened.

Well, the school didn't mind there was no one else.
The kids were asked to tell their story.
Turned out that the leader of the bullies had a warning before and was even into counseling because of their behaviour.
Counseling is intensified and when she does it again she will be send from school...forever.

My girls were OK with this, so it didn't matter at all I haven't been to school.
There's a parents' meeting next week anyway.

One of the girls mailed the woman asking her for her address.
I've got a huge hydrangea to give her as a thank-you for helping the four girls.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Five of my favorite drinks

september 21 2009

Five of my favorite drinks

  1. Coffee
  2. Water
  3. Beerenburger (sharp liquor made with herbs)
  4. Port
  5. a good old whiskey (as a bagpiper I need to drink that.)

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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Update 20 september

september 20 2009

Well, I got the computer running again.
I think I know which site threw the dirt, but I'm not a 100% sure. I won't return there.

Thanks all for the sound advice!! It´s very much appreciated and worth following. Thanks!!

My other site was gone thanks to a serverproblem of my host.
Had to reinstall wordpress on my other blog, find back all posts and put them in there again. I hope the site works well, otherwise I hope someone can give me a hand.

I can't sit very long, because I made a wrong movement yesterday and managed to get a nerve fire down to my toes and up to almost my shoulder.
So that's not good at all.

Tomorrow morning I have to be at the school of the girls.
I'll tell you more about it when I'm back.

Have a great week, all!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Last Time

September 19 2009

1. When was the last time you bought something for someone else, and what was it?

It was a watch for one of the girls. Bought it last week, online.
A nice one, with bling, bling.

2. When was the last time you complimented someone, and what was their reaction?

It was yesterday. I complimented one of the boys with his short hair.
He said he always had short hair.
Yea..... that's why he needed a haircut. LOL!

3. When was the last time you had to return a purchase to the store? What was it and why?

About two months ago.
The cheese had fungus on it, and it should be without.

4. When was the last time you had an ice cream cone?

Pfff... Don't know. About 6 weeks ago, I think. It contained ice with real berries.

5. When was the last time you had to go to the doctor's office?

Two weeks ago.
Had a good talk about diabetes, and was recommended a bone scan because of bone problems.

6. When was the last time you were embarrassed by something you did? What was it and what happened?

It was two years ago.
We were in Germany with the band and when three of us were walking through the small town I fell. My knees just stopped working.

7. When was the last time a stranger was kind to you?

When was the last time I saw a stranger, is a better question.

8. When was the last time you locked yourself out of your home? What did you do?

When my oldest was 2.
He closed the front door after me. LOL!
I had the backdoor on a hook, but was so eager to get in and be with my child that I pulled it right out.
I don't think I can do that again. LOL!

So we have made hooks on all doors and when we step outside we put the hook down, so the door can't be closed.

9. When was the last time you thought about cheating (on anything, a test or a person)?

Don't know.
I wanted to cheat a test when I was at university, but I got so nervous that I got all red and the assistant came asking whether I needed water or a lie down. LOL!
The person who wrote the answers down I wanted to have a look at, failed the test and I was one of the best who completed it. So cheating wasn't necessary after all.
I perked up my self confidence instead.

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Friday chatter

september 18 2009

Well, working at the computer is no fun at all.
My wordpress blog is offline and I don't know why.
Maybe maintenance, maybe hacked?
I'll wait a day before contacting the host. At the moment I'm not in to hear bad news.

I've changed my passwords into the most ridiculous things, so I now really need a notebook, because my mind can't keep them. LOL!

The agenda is growing full with each day.
Republicans said people in The Netherlands were faced with tremendous waitinglists and many died while waiting.
Well, the father of the kids doesn't have that problem, as far as I can oversee, because his knee will see the surgeon in action next thursday.
That's precisely two weeks after he first went to our family-doctor.

I hope my computer is well repaired before that day, because I'm not looking forward to an immobilised man in the house for 10 whole days and me sitting knitting beside him with no one else to talk to.

Now I'm off and use this slow very old fashioned laptop to find out how to repair my computer.
The oldest son promised to do it for me, but he's too busy with his own life.


The other site is not hacked, but under maintenance and will reappear as soon as possible.
I managed to repair my computer myself, but it's still offline, so maybe when it goes online the problem reloads itself.
My son will come either saturday or sunday to repair the rest.

We had nice weather today, and I ate an apple from my own appletree.

Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The continuing story: moving towards a new start

september 17 2009

Today we, my autistic son and I, went to the daycare facility to see what he's going to do there, etc etc.

It was nice to meet the kind lady again, even though she parked us with tea and coffee for quite a while.
The facility is in a very old building, situated on one of the highest places near the river.
Because of the wonderful weather we could see very, very far.
My son just didn't care, but I enjoyed the view.

Waiting was OK for my son, I thought. It was a good way to get used to the sounds and smells.
It went through my mind that maybe they should request people who work there to wear sprotshoes. Some had half high heels and made a tremendous sound on the wooden floors.

It was a strange conversation, because my son couldn't answer most questions. He doesn't know what do to, what to chose.

Well, we agreed he will start friday next week (YES!!!!)
Next wednesday we will go there again to meet his tutor.

Before then we need to buy new black shoes, and black shirts or polos.
With his size, that'll be a job in itself.

But who cares.

He'll start two days a week, and when he's feeling OK there it'll go to 4 days.
Now and then it has to be a saturday or sunday.

He'll have a good time there, when he sets his mind to enjoying it all.

I'm looking forward to the changes it'll bring here.

For those who haven't been reading my former post: some jerk bugged my computer and disabled it. I'm using a computer now that is too slow to have fun.
I'm missing you!!


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Computer is bugged

september 16 2009

Ofcourse I've seen other people complain they were infected by one of the sites of entrecard.
But I was very carefully, until yesterday.

One of the kids was telling the same story for the so maniest time and he didn't even expect me to listen.
So I was opening the last entrecard pages of the inbox there, while listening to what the boy had to say and if there were any changes to his story compared to when he told it that afternoon.

Suddenly the desktop changed into a blue picture with binary code, and beside the windows emblem in the taskbar another said it was the security centre and my computer was infected.

I didn't trust the message and icon, so I started my own scanner.
More pop-ups followed and one was a scanner screen telling me I was infected by a worm, 39 virusses, another worm, a trojan etc etc.

Well, I was sure I had no 38 or 39 virusinfections, so I didn't belief the thing a bit.

Then my browser stopped working etc. etc.

Using another coomputer I found out more people were infected yesterday afternoon and -evening with the same problem.

All we have to do now is to find out how to get rid of it.

Scanning in the safe mode all night didn't show anything.

When you have sound advice, please let me know.

I feel hurt by soneone who plays games with other people.
Someone suggested it's adware and the firm tries to make people buy a scanner for 30 dollars to remove the bug.

Well, I don't hasve 30 dollars at the moment, so they won't succeed anyway.
And I don't like blackmailbugs.

I won't use entrecard or any other surfinfsystem with the laptop I'm using now.
It's too slow to work with.

So check in every day to read my blog.
I will post.

I'll be back on my own computer when the bug has been removed.

In the meantime I'll try to keep my calm, but I use my computer to be in touch with people and I feel very lonely without contact with my (online) friends.


Tuesday, September 15, 2009


september 15 2009

1. Are you a Rolex watch, a Mickey Mouse watch, or a pocket watch?

A pocket watch.
Nice, warm and only surfacing when it's really important.

2. Can you think of a time when you couldn't see the forest for the trees?

Not really.
I'm quite an analytical person, but always in the context of a greater composition.

3. Can you think of a time when you were on the outside looking in?
What did you see?

In a way I'm always a bit at the outside.
I don't mind reflecting on things.
When I'm not at the outside, I'm trying to get a different perspective from the usual one.

What I see is humanity divided into groups.
Some are so very concerned about money and keeping on top of everything, economy, religion, politics.
It makes me feel OK to have the feeling of being at the outside.
I can easily turn around and see those who struggle to stay alive, those who suffer from the hardships of having no money, no high position in society. I can see those who want to respect the earth and other people.
As a writer I'm the one who needs to translate between these groups.
I can see how the rich are unwilling to share, that those who want to march into battle don't care to work on the fields....

4. Go back in time. Maybe a long time ago, maybe today. Pick an hour you'd like to freeze frame forever and tell us why. It doesn't have to be THE most important hour of your life, but make it a good one.

Sitting on the coach with good friends. Sipping coffee. Forgetting time moves on.

5. If you were a cuckoo clock, what would others say about you?

Haha!! My cuckoo clocks always got so many comments. Ugh!
As a cuckoo in a clock I can't shut up though.

6. Can you think of a time when time stood still?

Yes, when I had my dead girl in my arms.

7. Watch this! You are a stopwatch. What would you stop?

Not what, but who.
I'd stop all those people who are too stupid to have a well informed opinion, so others can discuss making this world better between themselves.

8. Imagine you were just born and have infinite wisdom. After the doctor smacks your newborn dust ruffle you look around and say to the Universe: "Give me a whole lifetime to do "this" and I will bless the day I was born."
What did you choose?

Well, as I don't have infinite wisdom I don't know.

I've chosen to be one of the people standing up for the rights of autistic people.

But I would rather stand up and teach the world that peace starts within each and every person, and we all have our own responsibility we really should take.
Too many people just march to the orders of others and to the needs of society.

This month is filled with remembrances of WW2. Operation Market Garden is remembered.
So many people lost their lives to end a war started by a few who wanted it all and who ordered others to kill for their own foolish beliefs that a certain kind of people is better.

When I would be able to make everyone clear that it's the individual responsibility of each and every person to make each day peaceful, I would bless the day I was born.

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Monday, September 14, 2009

The continuing story: the call we were waiting for

september 14 2009

Today we got the call we were eagerly waiting for.

Next thursday we're going to the daycare facility for my autistic son (17) and talk through expectations, wishes etc etc.

That they're there for my son was clear when she said that she already had on her list the fear my son experienced when he was first there.
The facility is upstairs and has wooden floors. My son was very afraid he might fall through. LOL!

I think he's already lost most of his fear, but it's so very kind to remember this and adress it.

Well, let's hope we've made the right choice.


Sunday, September 13, 2009

Weekend of the 13th

september 13 2009

Well, the 13th came one day too early.

One of the boys got computerproblems and blessed us with a mood that resembled the worst weather you're experienced.

He was lucky his oldest brother wanted to come over and have a look.
Pity he couldn't do anything here with the laptop, so after dinner he took it with him and worked on it. By midnight he had removed all the animals and dirt people put on a computer to mess up the lives of others.

The owner of the laptop couldn't wait for him to work on his PC too and decided he could do it himself.
Yea.... causing a "blue screen".
He panicked and was mad, very mad.
So he probably caused it himself by messing around to try to get rid of a virus.

Then he got angry because I stayed calm.
Yea. He made a good back up this week, so why not install the whole bit again and get better virusprotection and a firewall.

We all were very happy he had a birthdayparty that evening, so we could watch a bit TV and talk a bit without him pouring his grief upon us.
By the time he came home he was quiet and more of his old kind self again.

This afternoon he went to his brother... who had fallen asleep in his chair.
So he didn't hear him at the door.

Oh dear!!

We got called by the phone over and over again, each time he was more angry.

I was lucky to remember that the sound of his computer signals incoming mail quite loud, so I maled him.
That worked!!

It's rather quiet here at the moment. Pfff....

One of the problems with young people with PDD-NOS is that they have more difficulties than other young people to keep control of their emotions and impulses to vent their anger.

The learningprocess to grow up in that area takes far longer that for peope of the same age.

Well, one way or another he has to find a way to stay calm and stop messing things up because of stupid actions, like removing things at random from the computer.

How was your weekend!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

You Like Me Too Much

September 12 2009

1. If everyone liked each other, what would we complain about?

About everything, like socks on the floor, tootpasttubes not used well.
Liking each other doesn't mean that one is without criticism.

2. If you were most powerful person in the world, how would you use that power?

Make people understand each other, make them want to live in full solidarity with one another.
It's time we realise that each day 24.000 children under 5 years die from hunger and bad healthcare.

People complain about the recession, and some think they should have it better than others, but unless we're not able to share what we have we are pour souls.

3. If had exactly one year to live, what are the three things you'd want to do before you died?

Arrange my things, see some old friends and roam the highlands of Scotland.

4. If you could change one thing about the world, what would that one thing be?

I can't say, because I would offend people.
So have a guess.

5. If you could take one thing back, what would that one thing be?

Don't know.

6. If you were stuck on an island forever but had all the water, food and shelter you needed. What would be the three other things you'd bring with you?

Things, not people.

My case with pagpipes and stuff, a bag with sunglasses and sunlotion, my computer with enough batteries for a lifetime.

7. If the internet didn't exist, would the quality of life go up or down?

It would change.
I'd miss my friends, but I would dedicate my life to other creative things.

8. If a million dollars fell off a back of a truck, would you keep it?

At the moment? Sure. I'd watch the news and paper and return when someone lost it, but otherwise....

9. What is something you said, something you stole, something you did wrong?

Nothing stolen, but the dignity of some people who thought too high of themselves.

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Friday, September 11, 2009

I'll remember

september 11 2009

I'll remember

I'll remember those who died from targetted aggression,
I'll remember those,
all over the world,
forgotten events for those who didn't save the papers.

I'll remember those
who died from bombs,
thrown on their houses and hospitals
because others decided it was time for their death.

I'll remember those children
who died today
24.000 in Africa alone
because other people refuse the share
their food and healthcare.

I'll remember...
Oh yes,...
I'll remember...

so many people
so many dates
so many places


A give-away for beaders

september 11 2009

I remember so well the days with s dear friend so many years ago.
We made our own jewelry.
I beaded, she made knots with the macrame technique.

Somehow our creations reflected out friendship:
secure and tightly interwoven creations, and the delecate and elegant beside the firm and bold.

We made so many things, even beaded tops of dresses.

I've forgotten the techniques, because I had small children to care for, growing up kids to support and young people to point out the do's and don'ts in life.

To my delight I found out that Lori Anderson has a give-away at her site.
It's a marvelous calendar with beading tutorials and photos.
Lori made one of the tutorials, and considering the wonderful art she creates, the calendar will be of very high quality.
It will help me to use the beads that I still have, ànd teach my girls the lovely art of beading, in case I'd win.

Oh, it would be great to have my autistic son go to daycare and wait for the girls to come home from school and have some hours of real "girltime".

Lori ads to the give-away some beadingmaterials to start rightaway... Oh, I can hardly wait...

This is such a nice calendar, because it's not only for 2010, but it's a treasure to keep and use forever.

Ofcourse it's best to advice you not to enter the give-away, so my/our chances will be better. But you know me. I'm also happy when someone else wins.

So go to Lori's blog and use the link to the give-away post ::here::, and try your luck to win the Bead- a-Day calendar for 2010.
And enjoy her blog as well.

The doc, shopping and rings

september 11 2009 happened...: I went to the doctor.

I had a double appointment, so we had plenty of time to discuss the kids and ofcourse my own health.

He agreed with the higher dosage of Avandamet to keep the diabetes under control,.. as far as possible.
Unless research comes up with something better I can use, it's the last step before a choice between evils.
Because I have an amino acid metabolic disease insulin is contra indicated.
But without insulin the diabetes will injure the body, even with a strict regimen of meds.

So it's either dealing with the ill effects of the combination insulin and the other disease, or dealing with the effect of insufficient treatment of diabetes.

Well, as long as we can cope...

Another issue is the problem with my backbone.
I've been able to counteract the scoliosis and kyphosis (curving of the backbone) with ballet exercises during most of my life, but the past years it wasn't possible because I had to stay at home with my autistic son and there is not enough space in the house to exercise well.

Because the family history shows osteoporosis a bone density scan will be made.
I'll call for an appointment at the hospital next monday.

After leaving the doctor's office I want straight to the shopping centre.
In a leaflet I'd seen some very nice shoes.
Well, they looked nice. That's all I can say.
The upper part was nice suede. But the sole and the rest was crap, made of cheap stuff anf far too thin.

So I walked a bit around, saw I very nice tunica blouse, and some other nice clothes. (I'm a woman, so when you let me free I'll screen all the items in the shops. LOL!)

One of my favorite shops is a jewelry shop where they sell very expensive items beside very low prized items.
I always have the feeling that Robin Hood inspired the shop owner to make rich people pay a bit more and the others a bit less.

I saw two lovely rings for 5.95 euros and decided that it's time to have something special.

So at home I told the children I want a ring from each of them, so I can always have something from them with me.

Isn't that a great idea?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

No dying people before the knife gets in

When they're talking about people on the transplant list I can see that the situation here is not different from those in other countries.

But when other surgeries are considered I think we're doing rather well.

The father of the children went to the doc yesterday and was referred to the orthopedist to see if he needs surgery at his knee again.

Next tuesday he'll be x-rayed and will be seen by the orthopod in hospital and then he'll have to wait a couple of weeks for the surgery itself.

So, republicans, no dying people before the knife gets in.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Congratulations America! Congratulations New York!!

september 9 2009

Congratulations America!
Congratulations New York!!

Not many Americans realise that this week is very special.

The Netherlands and The USA share a special bond.
This week they celebrate the birthday of New York.
The 400th birthday!!

In 1609 Henry Hudson sailed the seas and entered solid ground at, what now is called, Manhattan.
They called the settlement they created Nieuw Amsterdam, which later became New York.

The opening festivities were at the Intrepid, which is in the harbour of New York for this special occasion.
Our crownprince Willem Alexander and his wife Princess Maxima joined the celebrations as representatives of The Netherlands. Present were also Mayor Bloomberg and Hilary Clinton.
A fleet of all sorts of ships, boats and even NATO fregats were on the water. Among them historical ships,rebuilts of the Onrust and the famous Halve Maen.
The HNLMS Tromp fired 21 salutary shots as a greeting to the city of New York.

It was the signal to start all over the city all sorts of theatre events, parties and other festivities.

The Royal Couple visited Albany. This city too was founded by the Dutch. That was in 1624 under the name of Fort Oranje.
The Prince and Princess received the keys of the city and visited the New York State Museum to see the historical documents from the first years of the colony Nieuw Nederland.

Not only in New York people celebrate, here in The Netherlands were very aware of the historical event and celebrate it in our own way.
Interesting is that streetinterviews in The Netherlands and New York revealed that many New Yorkers were not aware of the historical occasion and many didn't even know that the Dutch founded their city.

Well, orange lights will shine on the Empire State Building all week, so people will start to realise something special is happening.

Those who understand Dutch, or want to see the TV programs which are broadcasted each day can go ::here::.
"Bekijk" means "watch". So click the links and enjoy!

Happy birthday New York!!!!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The continuing story: next in the chain

september 8 2009

Yesterday I got a mail from the next person in the chain to daycare for my autistic son (17).
It was her first day back from vacation so I was really surprised.

Already she'd called his social worker, did some paperwork and wanted me to look it through in case a mistake had slipped in.

And now it's on it's way to the daycare facility, a coffee burning and selling enterprise for people with special needs, including a restaurant where people with special needs serve the coffe.

I'm so happy that finally something goes smooth.
It's a fresh breath between many dirty ones.

Ofcourse we have to go through his aversion against shopping.
He needs black trousers and black shoes.

And he'll be very afraid of going when the time is there.

But for now: RELAXATION!!!


Monday, September 7, 2009

First day at school

september 7 2009

The girls went to school to get their schedules.
They were so very enthousiastic to go, it was just fun to see that.

Ofcourse they didn't come back home immediately.
Seeing their friends and classmates after so many weeks meant catching up with lots of giggles.
The weather was perfect for them all to go to the park nearby and from a friend I heard that it was a good sight to see: all those groups of colour in the green.

When they finally came home they were all smiles and stories.
About the new teachers, their mentor who grew a moustache, and ofcourse the others kids.

The schedule is perfect in their eyes.
First hours free, and tomorrow just 3 hours.
They don't realise that they have to get a certain amount of lessons each year, and that the lazy schedule is due to the fact that some teachers are still on vacation.


Kids are not allowed to be on vacation now, and teachers don't seem to have enough with 6 weeks no school.

Well, it's the way it goes.

I'm happy the girls are looking forward to develop themselves further and it's wonderful to see that.

Five end-of-summer wrap up thoughts

september 7 2009

Five end-of-summer wrap up thoughts

  1. Trip to England
    never happened
  2. Autistic son in daycare so we could make some trips with the other children.
    Didn't happen, because the organisation which had to do the paperwork (Childcare) failed to get things done in time.
    But he'll go soon.
  3. Go to the doc
    Didn't happen
  4. Eat apples from our own trees
    Did happen. They were juicy and very tasteful.
  5. Get the attick uncluttered.
    Didn't happen, because it was far too hot to go there.

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Sunday, September 6, 2009

Investing in young people and school drop out rates

september 6 2009

Yesterday we got a letter stating our son has to pay back a tuitionfee of 900 euros, because he stopped his studies.

He didn't.
It was not his intention.
He needed a new place to work for 4 days, so he could practice what he learns at school about selling and running shops, but there was no place to find.
Now it's recession shopowners are not willing to take on further responsibilities than to keep things going at the lowest cost.

The letter meant that the school has unsubscribed him. We never got something from the school to state that, so last week I asked a tutor from the school for help for my son. He referred me to someone else, who didn't reply. No wonder.

I was rather irritated: how can they unsubscribe someone without investing in keeping him there? Having a job is part of the curriculum, not having one is something this young man can't help.

We signalled the problem in may.
All the support he got were a few talks to tell him he should visit shops and ask.
They didn't use their contacts to find out which shops would be able to take him, they just send him on his way.

We expected more support, knowing he comes from a school for special education. Especially after we had such a nice meeting with the support department at the beginning of the year.
I guess they'd conveniently forgotten he's got ADHD and mild autism and that this is the most difficult things to do: asking something for yourself at a place you don't know at all.

When I look back to the past schoolyear I'm amazed how little the school did for their pupils.
OK, he got some lessons.
But the assignments needed to be submitted by email or at the schoolsite, and the feedback came that way too.
His practical work at the shop was controlled by a few phonecalls, and when things went completely wrong because he asked for some normal teaching at the workingplace, he was considered a bother and was bullied by his supervisor.
It was nice in time when the healthproblems came and the visits to the hospital and he was told not to work for a while.
But no-one from school took an interest.

So all in all I'm not amazed by the high number of drops outs.
Kids are just thrown aside and told to find everything out themselves.
It's kind of OK when it's university level, but not OK at all. Especially not when kids come from a school for kids with special needs.

So we had a good talk yesterday and he wants to go into care. Hoping to find a place to work at a hospital or old peoples' home, or something like that.
A revival of an old dream.
Maybe that's the best we can do now.

I fear he'll be confronted by motivational problems and by a lack of workingplaces too.
But when he find a workingplace, I'm sure he'll enjoy the work.
He's very kind for people who need support and care.

Let's hope this time things will work out well for him.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Thunking on a Saturday

September 5 2009

1. You are walking down a rainy road. There is a five hundred dollar bill on the road. You look around and except for someone a half block away, you are alone. You naturally pick up the bill and put it away. That person approaching stops and says, "I saw you pick up that money. It's mine." You ask how much it was. She yells, "Are you calling me a liar?" What do you do?

That's a small block when he or she sees me picking it up!
I always tie my shoelace when I pick something up that's valuable. (Which happened once. It was returned to the owner.)

I would call the police, so that person can report the loss.

When he or she becomes agressive? Haha! I know how to deal with that!!

2. If I were to inspect your guest bathroom, how would I find it?

I don't know, we have none.

Our bathroom is OK, beside the stairs.

3. You are given a state of the art bow and arrow. Who or what is your first target (after a lesson or two)?

Hmm.... I'm not a person to hurt another, so I'll put an apple on the gardengate and try to split it. LOL!

4. The doorbell rings. The person at the door is wearing a raincoat and you know them. They flash you and are completely naked. Other than your S/O, who would you think would it would be and would guess you'd find that funny? Why do you guess that person and would you laugh or be pissed off?

None of the people I know would do it.
But in case... I'd call a psychiatrist.

5. What do you call a male Ladybug?

An imposter.

6. Your friends throw you a party. They've got a big national music star to come and perform. It is someone you detest. Do you make believe you like the songs or do you fess up and get the star out of the party?

Well, none has thrown me a party so far, so I can't imagine this would happen to me.
I don't detest people, I just don't like some people.
In that case I would ask to be able to perform a duet and disable his microphone.

7. What's your favorite breed of wild, mean attack dogs?

What a ridiculous question!

8. If I called your high school guidance counselor, what would they say about you?

If I'd had one he would say I'm a kind of shy person who is a creative and caring person among friends.

9. Car A is moving at 63 miles an hour. 4 people are in the Car A. Car B is moving at 22 miles an hour. There is a driver and passenger who just came from a hotel while cheating on their spouses in Car B. They will crash into each other in exactly 3.5 minutes. What are your fun plans for this Labor day Weekend while these six people meet a brutal and gruesome death??

I don't know what the use of this question is.
At queensday a guy crashed his car into the crowds in an attempt to hit the Queen and killed 6 people.
I still can't lose the images.

Questions like these are not amusing, but disgusting.

I'm sorry, that's how I feel about it.

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Friday, September 4, 2009


september 3 2008

HEADS - "Yellow"

Make any kind of post about anything that is "Yellow."

One way or another, when I think of the summers in my childhood, I think of "yellow".
One of the gardens beside the road to school had a huge area grown with flowers with bright yellow hearts. They looked like sweets on cotton wool, and even know seeing these flowers I feel happy.

My grandmother knew how I adored the view and she bought me a white dress with green small dots and large yellow dots.
It was the time of the rock and roll skirts and the dress wavered out like a flat plate when I turned around real fast. The tule underskirt protected my legs for unwanted views, so the teachers smiled and all the girls wanted a dress or skirt like that.
When I stood still the tule lifted the dress so I looked like an upside down tulip, the silhouette which was modern at the time.

Because of my dress I was chosen to bring the flowers to the altar at the Maria celebration in october.
The bright yellow flowers were grown and kept in a glasshouse, so the lovely colour of summer would be present abundantly.
"It colours beautiful with the outfit of Maria", I overheard a nun talking to my teacher.

Ofcourse I didn't have any say over my own clothes, so my mother threw the dress away when it was too small. No chance to make something nice for my doll, or save it for my own daughters.

But the memory stayed...

And the yellow represents summer for me, each year.

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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Flu vaccination

september 3 2009

Today those who voluntered in america to test the mex flu vaccination had their second shot.
Testing of the H1N1-vaccination is not only done to show it's safe, but also to find out which dosage is required for each age group.

Volunteers are not all completely altruistic in their actions.
Some are afraid they won't get a vaccination when it's finally available, others like the financial stimulus of 300 dollars per shot.

When the vaccine become available in october nothing will be know about the longterm effects.
There is simply not enough time to test a longer time.

As far as we know the first shot is to prime the body. In other words, makes it aware there is something odd going on.
The second shot provides the immune protection, which will begin at about 2 weeks after the shot.

I wonder whether the flu vaccination will be in time.
This flu is completely different from others, as it made many people ill during the summermonths.
Looking at the usa I wonder whether that's due to the fact that people are allowed to visit the ER when the have flu symptoms.
No better way to spread a disease as in a hospital, especially the ER where people walk in and out.

Our local hospital doesn't allow people with flu symptoms to mingle with other people.
There's a seperate temporary building put in front of the ER and there people are tested for flu symptoms.
Those who appear to have them get alone in a seperate room.

We're not supposed to visit our family physician.
We have to call and each case will be evaluated seperately.

Well, it's very nice, but now the schools are opening again, universities back to normal, and all people working again, I'm sure there's plenty of opportunity for the virus to spread.

Well, we'll see.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I hate recession cooking

september 2 2009

I hate recession cooking.

I don't mind cooking for a large family of 8, even for a few more people at the table, but in these times... ugh!

Because we have to get all our grocery by bicycle, we can't pop-out every day to make a round past the butcher, baker etc etc.
I can't plan my meals a week ahead, like some people do, because we take each chance to bring fresh vegetables in the home. And they're used first. And I never know we'll be present at dinner before a few hours earlier.

I've never had problems to improvise.
There was always plenty in cans, pots, the fridge and fresh. And when I say plenty... oh yes, it was plenty.

But now the recession has hit us, we've used our back-up for bad times, and we buy cheaper.
So when I have to cook there's less choice and sometimes I lack ingredients.

I don't know about you, but I have the impression that the meat we are sold is of less quality too.
The kids love meatlove, and so do I.
When they were young it was very plain seasoned, but now they love spicy meatloaf, and it's a joy to invent new tastes and see how they like it.

But about the quality.
When I'm baking meat there's so much water and fat coming out! It's really disturbing.
Sometimes it's half meat half throw away fatty liquid.
It makes me feel I'm paying twice as much for the meat.

Ofcourse I tried more expensive meat, another butcher, prepacked, foreign.
I already started to doubt myself until a friend gave me a package from her own farmanimals.
It baked by itself, without excess stuff and it tasted so much better!

When I opened a bag of soup today I saw that there were only carrots in it. No selery and other stuff. Just a sprinkle of greenish dust.
So the manufacturer is saving money too. Well, that was the last time I've bought those bags.. at least until the recession is over.

So when it's time to cook, I'm having a hard time enjoying myself.
I feel like scraping a healthy meal together, and I don't like it that way at all.

Newsletter of your government

september 2 2009

We all should know the laws of our country, and to know what politics is talking about and which decisions are taken we need information.

In some countries the govenment is a transparant and clearcut organisation where not many surprises enter the public stage.

But other countries are either too big or organised too complex to belief what you read in the papers and see on TV. Making up your own mind is difficult due to too many voices, all telling you they carry the truth, and nothing but.

Most governments issue a newsletter online to inform their workers and everyone else in the country about the decsions taken. Often linking to official documents and transcripts from meetings.
There's no newspaper, no politician, no one between you and the straightforward short report and the pile of paperwork behind it.

Don't think I'll always struggle through the language of people who think they are important and people who really are.
But within two minutes or less I know which decisions were taken and which ones are on the agenda.

I know them all before the paperwork has reached the organisations involved.

For me the subjects of education and care are of main importance.
The knowledge sometimes made me wait with an application, because after a certain date more care would be given, for instance.
Or work through the night to get it hand delivered the next morning to make sure my kid didn't fall within a new regulation.

The last years I've seen a lot of political crap on internet, and a lot of bloggers who have an opinion that reflects how uninformed they are and how blindly they follow what a socalled political leader says.
Come on, make up your own mind and become a knowledgeable individual instead of one of the stupid flock of sheep.

Get your own governmental newsletter and be informed.

It works for me and I'm sure it works for everybody.

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september 2 2009

I know it's long past bedtime, but it's finally quiet here.

The silence slowly filled the house and it felt like a warm blanket.

All day a headache took over my head, and I didn't feel well at all.
On top of it the weather didn't cooperate with the forecast, and as I washed a lot of laundry because it would be warm and sunny....

Well, we moms can't have it all.

So when everyone was to bed, I sat down, watched the astronauts working at the outside of the international space station and enjoyed it to bits.

In the meantime I reviewed some newspaper articles.
I help out some friends who work as journalists once in a while, so they'll get their things ready before the deadline.

When I was trained as a journalist we didn't have internet.
We wrote our stuff at typewriters and submitted them in person at the main desk.
Special editions and the magazines I worked for were printed near the office by kind people who were friends with my uncle.
The world was so small....

Today we heard the printing business suffered so much from the recession that it closed.

It's sad.. so sad.
So many families struggling.
All those men and a few women worked their all their lives, gave it all they had.
They all were a family, and it was great to work there.
Even visiting for a short meeting was a pleasure.

It's gone now.

Bit by bit the familiar past disappears.

We're ready to move away. It's like each day less ties us to this place and this country.

I looked for counciljobs in Scotland. Something for a biologist with research experience, with experience with environmental issues and council work.
When the father of the kids has found a steady job there we'll move to Scotland.
Or any place in the UK.

It's time to move forward.

Well, I'm off to bed now while the astronauts are trying to fix a huge box in the Discovery.

They'll keep on turning their rounds in space.

Good night!!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Bad skin morning

september 1 2009

This week allergy is really bugging me, so I'm not sleeping well and I feel stuffed and about 80 years during the day.

People are lucky I hardly leave the house, so they won't see me.

I try to avoid mirrors as much as possible on days like these, but this morning the mirror decided to see me, and me oh my, that was a real shock!
I'm rather well preserved on normal days, but the wrinkles I saw today!
They just called for help so loud, I expected someone at the door.

Due to lack of sleep I had blue baggy pads under my eyes.
Couldn't smile them away.

I need the best wrinkle cream spooked through my mind.

So I went to a place online to be when you're concerned about your wrinkles.

No, Terri, the maker of the site, won't level them out with some special images and lights, but she shares her experiences and she opens a lot of space for those who want to share their experiences with wrinkle creams too.

Surfing through her site I almost forgot my own frightening early morning experience.
Especially when I landed on the page about photos.
You know: the before and after images of women who were wrinkled and lost their wrinkles completely with a certain cream, becoming happier, better dressed and equiped with more expensive earrings and professional make-up.
I've always smiled looking at those photoshopped images and when my son said he wanted to become a photographer I asked him never to make a woman more ugly to get a better "after" image. He immediately knew what I meant. is a real help for women and men who want to conquer the aging process without suffering decay of their wallet.
The pitfalls of advertisements, the sales slogans, they're all freely discussed and the process of chosing a wrinkle cream that fits you best has been decribed in detail and understandable language.

I like the fact that creams are tried out by normal people like you and me, so I can read how they work on normal people during normal life.

To keep updated on all developments one can subscribe to the newsletter.

So I did, and forgot all about my own silly face.

topdroppers of august

september 1 2009

Thank you all droppers of august!
During the summermonths it's not always easy to drop.
Kids wanting to be on the computer, kids needing attention,
kids needing supervision, etc etc.

So I'll appreciate you all for being here,
handing me your entrecard for in the widget,
commenting and taking part in the give-away,
and dropping, dropping,dropping.

Here are the people who dropped most on my widget.


Manic Monday #180

august 31 2009

Are you usually late, early or right on time?

I'm usually early.

Exceptions are visits to the dentist and the family physician.
The first one is near our house, so I can't arrive wrong, even when I get a flat tyre.
And the doc is always late.

I like to be in time, because I can do before the appointment whatever I want, check hair, get a cup of coffee, look through notes.
When the weather is good I can walk slower or have a peek in a shopwindow.

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or to tell them that you do not love them back?

To tell someone I love him.
Maybe not. I don't know. The guy who hears those words from me will be very special. He really cares for me and accepts me for who I am, so maybe it's easy..

Which would you rather have: a high salary or job satisfaction?

Job satisfaction doesn't pay the bills.
So that's a tie!!

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