Saturday, August 22, 2009

Patience

august 22 2009




When you're a regular reader you know that patience is needed here on a daily basis.
Whether it's waiting for a decision of some official organisation regarding facilities for my 4 autistic children, dealing with the meltdowns and daily difficulties of autism, or personal things just for me.

I was told by the oldest that he had enough on his paypal to enable me to buy something online. He would donate the money immediately and with pleasure.
So I went looking, found something that was within the budget, and was told the money was already gone. Sweet promisses. Well, I had the anticipatory fun, and I was happy that I needed to know the shoppingcosts before ordering so I was not confronted with the costs myself. It's no fun to pay for a gift yourself.

Well, in an attempt not to make my search for a present in vain I've decided to open up my site for those who want me to blog about their site and for squares in the sidebar. It'll be fun to wait what people want to spend on a square at the top of my sidebars. The lowest offer: $2 for a month.

I can't always resolve matters.

Like all those times my autistic boy goes to the kitchen, loudly complaining he's hungry.
(Well, we all know that all the time, because he's always hungry and always looking for food, especially sweets and chips.)

He'll get there, opening all doors, and then saying: "Now one cares that I'm hungry, because there's nothing to eat."

It drives me mad!!!

We have 3 sorts of bread, crackers, cheese and at least 4 kinds of meat, peanutbutter, at least 3 kinds of jam, all sorts of sweet things, and even marmite (but I have to take a look to see if that's over date. LOL!)

For those who want to have a healthy snack there are tomatoes, cucumber, apples, oranges, grapes, and bananas (for dessert.)

Still, in his eyes there's nothing to eat.
I guess because he doesn't know what he wants or because he doesn't see what he's got on his mind.
All sweets and chips are locked away and I'm always telling him I don't have the key.
He knows that telling me there's nothing to eat for him results in a calm voice telling him there's plenty and we don't have a shop. It doesn't fit his mood at all, so often he turns to the girls to try and make them say I'm a louzy parent because I don't feed my children.

I can take that. It's part of motherhood.
I take a breath, or two, I sigh, I try to take my mind to the other side of the world, and I keep calm.

But what to do when he sits at the office of the schooldoctor, alone. Like happened two years ago?
What to do when he tells at that moment his parents never give him food and he had to develop a search strategy to find anything to eat?
What to do when that nut of a doctor doesn't look at the whole picture? Forgets the boy has autism, forgets that he's very obese, and forgets all the other 5 kids of the family are of normal size and are healthy?

We were ordered to the office, told to sit down and then got the ridiculous questions why we didn't feed our son properly and why we didn't serve him normal meals. Then he started to tell us what our son had told him.

I was about to lose my patience, but was saved by my own breathing pattern. I needed a breath and it gave me just enough time to stay calm and kind.
Because if there's one thing that makes me forget that patience is a virtue it's people doubting my good intentions as a parent.

(The doc now is a kind friend who can listen very well to our experiences with our children.
Now he's the schooldoc of the girls he knows that we take care of our kids very well.)
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2 comments:

  1. I love the graphic at the top Laane, it is beautiful and very touching, and your posts are always wonderful. Keep up the good work!

    Blessings,

    Mother Maitri

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  2. Sounds just like my middle son - we have almost the exact same foods available plus healthy snack bars, crispy-fried greenbeans (they're actually very good), and a few other things. Still he complains, as well as his two brothers, that there is nothing to eat. I'm sure they would be happy if I stocked the shelves with Twinkie cakes and junk chips -- but it isn't going to happen *except on vacation. Thanks again for your honest post. Hugs to you my friend. You're a great Mom.

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