Monday, August 10, 2009

Leave me alone!

august 10 2009

Appointments are pouring in at a time that we're supposed to have vacation.
The dentist on wednesday, the psychiatrist of one of the boys on friday,and more. All that times that are inconveniently early or late, all at times I need to leave the worst combination of kids at home.

I'm living on other people's vacation stories, my daily outing is watering the plants at someone else's home, and I'm exhausted.

So when the girls left to stay for a friend, the boys were glued to their computers and mine died in the middle of a very sensible post, I made me a cuppa and rested my painful hip on the couch. In fact, I made myself watch a TV program with one of my favorite actresses and dozed off.

I'm allowed to.
I work 7 days a week, 20 hours a day, and haven't been on vacation for over 23 years.
Ofcourse I expected the garden pruned completely, the kitchen cleaned, dinner cooked and much more done in my dreams, but instead I feel asleep and was lying unseen by the world in a dark black hole.


Some beige dressed woman with a clipboard, working for one of the energy companies, rang the doorbell and made me wake up.

Why, oh why do people want to make money by calling others, ringing their doorbells and pushing pop-up advertisements in my face when I'm just trying to visit a site?

She was one of the kind that doesn't appologize for disturbing, but that wants to familiarise me with their first name.
I assume she was trained by one of those people who think that mentioning a name means coming closer to the psychological wellbeing of the person who opens the door.
She smiled a smile that was practiced in front of the mirror for a long time and started to tell me a story she must have told half of the neighbourhood already without anyone listening.
She looked...gazed at me with doggy eyes that reminded me of the enormous creature of wool and hairs that would sit on the top of my toes, sniffing at each bite I took of a cookie. His master's voice used to sound through the room: "don't feed him", and he'd bow his head, turn around and walk slowly away.
The drama of the moment would silence the room, until the hostess would call: "Who wants to have another cup of coffee?", and the spell was broken.

The smile of the woman in front of me was too fake to be friendly, her gaze impolite, her hair uncombed and especially: the moment was badly chosen.

"I'm sorry you have to earn the money to pay for your electricity this way, but you're the third this august who wants to make us make a mayor decision at the door. We never ever make mayor decisions this way, so I'm sorry.
And b.t.w. you're legally bound to show me your ID, instead of telling me private details like your first name."

She was still gazing at me when I said "bye", then said something that sounded like "thank you" and turned around, moving her hands into her pockets.
She was clearly searching something and by the time whe was entering the path to the door of the neighbours she had found her ID.

When I entered the room the english news was on. The woman kindly told the nation that food will be more expensive in the future so people need to grow their own vegetables.
It reminded me of my failed attempts of this year to grow lettuce.

The spell of the quiet afternoon was broken.
One of the boys came in and wanted me to shorten his trousers, another one wanted something nice to eat because it's vacation and the sun disappeared after a cloud so it was time to get the dry laundry inside.

Just one thought echoed in my mind: "Leave me alone!"


  1. I agree - you definitely deserved that quiet afternoon. I will never understand why anyone thinks it's ok to walk around disturbing other people in their own homes.

  2. Looks like you have yet another eventful day. I hope you'll get some quiet time.


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