Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Another death in the family

august 11 2009

One and a half month after his mother died he was found dead in his chair.

We got the news yesterday evening.

The father of my children had 2 brothers.
The youngest lived a very long time with his mother because of his special needs, and even when he moved out to live in his own appartment, he was with her almost every evening. They called each other at least 5 times a day.

We knew he would have huge problems to cope without her, so we tried to support him the way we could and we tried to make him accept help from nearby. But he didn't want to accept the idea that he needed someone else to visit him now and then to keep an eye on him.

We made a schedule of calling, and he agreed with that.
He would be called this morning...

His death came as a shock, but when it sank in a bit we had a feeling that we should have expected it, in a way.
He was overweight, had many healthproblems, used a load of medication and he was so tied up in the relationship with his mother that he couldn't live without her.
We're having a strange feeling that his live was completed, a whole, an entity that went full circle.

Tomorrow his brothers will meet and arrange the funeral.
Again we have to go through emtpying a full house of clutter.
He promissed the girls a videorecorder for each of them, and by now I just don't know where I have to leave all the stuff already.

Well, we just have to see.

This summer has been a complete disaster.
We were just trying to find something to spend a few days outside our house, but again...we're stuck and tied up.

I feel so sorry for the girls who had no more fun than a hair makeover and one night staying with their oldest brother.
We didn't even get the 1:32 dollshouse we're building downstairs.
I'll have to do that tomorrow, so we can do something girly together.


  1. Laane - I'm so sorry for the big loss in your family. I think your BIL may not have emotionally survived the passing of his mother.
    I had an uncle who was very attached to my grandmother. When she passed away...so did he six months later.

  2. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.


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