Friday, July 31, 2009

top droppers of july

july 31 2009

Thank you all droppers for staying with me these past months.
We reached our goal to make the paid ads disappear.

Thanks topdroppers of this month:

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

sensation in the middle of the night, finally!

july 30 2009

I was on my way to bed... teeth brushed and all that, when lightning started.
Two sleepy heads looked at me from the girls room when I left the bathroom.

We went downstairs.
They're sleeping under a slooping roof facing the last row of houses before the lake, so it sounds and looks worse at their room.

We sat down for just a few minutes and it seemed to be over already.
It must have been an anormousd amount of rain that came down in just a few minutes.
The silence was almost hurting our ears and left us feeling creepy a bit.

The girls went to bed again, and I took a book and enjoyed the sound of the last drops of rain.
Then one of the boys called from the garden to come down because the fireengine was in the neighbourhood near the house of friends. And as I'm looking after the house....

So I took my trousers again, a cardigan and went out to see what was going on.

Turned out that a huge....very high weeping willow came down on a house. During the short thunderstorm there had been extreme winds, we didn't hear because of the sounds of the rain.
The fireworkers were already standing in the basket, studying the damage and the way they would handle matters.
A large light was putting the crown of the tree in bright light, even brighter than the sun.

Like small puppets people were standing on the street, looking sleepy in their bathrobes, or hastily grabbed clothes.

The boys, who had been at a lanparty in the same street, had a lot of fun after the inhabitants of the house told everyone they were OK.
In fact, we all had a good time watching the fireworkers, talking with each other.

Photo: half of the tree already taken down.

I told the boys to make coffee and went home to catch some sleep before delivering the holter equipment to the hospital early in the morning.(see here)

At home, the girls were awake because oif the constant sound of sawing and the engines.
They too wanted to have a look, and we three went there, had a talk and then finally went to bed.

A few of restless hours later I was on my way to hospital.

A large tree at the border of the neighbourhood was hit by the wind too and just pressed to the ground. It snapped under the pressure, just like the weeping willow.
The bycicle road towards the highway was covered with fallen branches. Some were huge.

At the other side of the highway there was just one branch.

So the windproblem had been very local.

Right now they're cutting and taking away all the branches of the weeping willow.

Now the largest tree is beside our house!
A former christmastree, main player in a betting I won.
Yes, I was able to keep my christmastree alive.
It's grown huge.

And I expect we have to take it down for safety reasons.

The people who got the tree on their roof were lucky.
No one wounded, no structural damage.

But things could have ended far worse.
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Holter day

july 29 2009

What a weather to begin the day with: sun!

So there we went again: bycicle, bus, walk, walking the long corridor in the hospital, waitingroom.

The woman who came to fetch us and had to fit the holter was very nice.
She explained it would be a 24 hours recording of his heart, what he needed to do when he was felling unwell and if he please would do something more than hang at the mouse of the computer.

He was amazed!

Then she told him she had boys herself at his age. LOL!

Well, he promissed a good game of basketball or otherwise an exhausting run around the block or through the park.

And back we went.

At home he said bye and went to his friends. I didn't expect him back as soon as after half an hour.
His chest under the tape to keep the wires in place was flaming red and beginning to swell.
So off the tape went and I took the tape we use at home.

At lunch the red spots were disappearing and at dinnertime they were gone.

The equipment needs to be brought back to hospital early tomorrow morning.

--- no, we didn't forget to take some photos! :)

Oh, the weather stayed nice until a moment ago.
Now it's puring outside. Perfect weather to fall asleep.

Bye!
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Cardiology and waitingroom

july 28 2009



Yesterday we went to hospital with the sun shining fiercely.

My ADHD son needed a cardiologic examination after falling unconscious 2 times and epilepsy had been ruled out.

The ECG was done within a few seconds as the nurse picked up an irregularity right away.

Then it was: waitingroom.

We joked about the students who were sitting in the sun, heard someone singing, etc etc.

When we were called in the doc told us that an echo was needed.

Waitingroom.
Parents with a girl in a wheelchair had arrived. The girls has a huge scare from a heartoperation and I saw my son looking at it a few times.
He was pale and very quiet.

The echo was extensive and took a very long time.
The main focus was on the septum and the valves.
I could see an extra move, but no hole in the septum.
Only a slight, non consistent leakage of one of the valves.

When my son was told the echo was ready I told him to leave the stickers in place on his chest.
In case the cardiologist himself might want a look, because they always want to, eben with the best echo-technician.

Now all chairs in the small waitingroom were taken.
A lovely lady with a small baby was sitting beside me, and a lovely boy with orange hair was walking around.
We had a good laugh oncve in a while, small chats.
The cardiologist finally arrived. Wow! That guy was as handsome as my favorite cardiologist.

When we were called in he asked my son to lay down again and was surprised the stickers were still there.
I joked that I knew he would want to have a look himself, as all cardiologists I know whanted too.
He gave me a big smile, even after I said that I wondered whether it was perfection they're striving for, stubbornness or just the honor of discovering something.

Within a few moments he was studying the septum too.
Again the main arteries were checked.

And again we had to go to the waitingroom.
The small orange haired boy was crying because his mom wanted to throw away what was left of his banana. He wanted her to fold it over again and again, just because he expected the miracle of a new banana within the brownish yellow flaps.

When we were called in we were told that they could see an extra movement in the septum, but that it was not something serious.
My son needed to be checked every year the following years, and in august he would have a bycicle test.
The holter is already planned for wednesday.

When we were finally able to leave the hospital we were so used to the airconditioning that the normal air slapped us in the face hot and humid. Ugh!
Dark clouds were above our had and when we left the bus it was raining.

Well, I enjoyed the rain on my skin.
We were soaked when we arrived home, just in time to change clothes and start cooking.

No rest for the wicked.
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Monday, July 27, 2009

Monday Crazy Questions

July 27 2009




1. Your mate or spouse or the person you have known on a personal level for quite a while, comes to you and suggests that things need to be spiced up and suggests a threesome. what is your reaction?


There is no need for a reaction, because he would never suggest that.

2. you are doing the shopping at the grocery store and there is one bad habit you wish your mate would give up and it's on your list to buy. Do you conveniently forget the item or go ahead and feed their habit?

He does the shopping, so it'll be here...always.

3. Your spouse/mate/date is driving and you are feeling seriously scared about the speed the they are traveling. You have already complained twice about their driving skills. Do you demand they slow down? or bite your lip? Will they call you a backseat driver and will an argument more than likely breakout?

We don´t have a car.
But when he drives he usually drives too fast.
There´s only one way to slow him down: the cost of the ticket. One doesn't want to give money to the police.

4. Your neighbors put their dogs out at 630 AM everyday and they bark non stop and wake you up. How do you handle the problem?

Well, our neighbours at one side are far too noisy. So I'll slam the window closed and that helps.
People here have dogs and cats, but in the original contract it states that dogs and cats, chickens and pigs are not allowed. The letters need a magnifying glass, but I know where to find them!!

5. Tell us about something that you can do that more than likely not a lot of other people can do.

As we are all born alike, I don't think there's something really outstanding I can do.
But I can bagpipe. Can play tunes and it sounds OK. Does that count between all those thousands of bagpipers?

I can also speak many english dialects. English is not my main language. Hmm...I think that one counts.

6. Do you still have any of your childhood toys that might be worth some money?

My mom threw about everything away, including my lego.
But I have a small doll. Don't think it's worth any money.

7. what is/was your all time favorite Beatles Song??

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.


8. If you felt motivated to really tighten up the house hold budget, what item would you need to give up to save money?

A painful question, because we're on a very tight budget with so many kids and so many expenses for their autism.
I even skip hot meals myself...
So tell me, should I go as far as to exchange toiletpaper for something else?

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Manic Monday #177

july 27 2009

What is one thing that you would change about yourself if you could?

Depends. Is it ouside or inside?

I want to change the feeling that I'm the one who needs to care for this family.
It would allow me to do more things I like to do and would allow me to travel the world.

Name three exotic countries you would like to visit:

Exotic...
I don´t care so much for exotic.

But I would loke to visit:
Mali - for the music and culture
Southpole - for the endless white
Scandinavia - for the auroras

What do you think the secret to life is?

No idea.
To me it's a kind of bad joke.
Maybe the secret is that we always have a reserve somewhere so we can keep up with what happens. We have to go on living, whatever happens.









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Found an apple

july 26 2009

Today I discovered another apple in one of the appletrees.
It hangs very high and is showing yellow and red spots on top of the green.
There's no way I gan get it, so I have to wait and hope none of the animals will get it first.

Hopefully they'll have a go at the rotting apples in the garden of the neighbours.
The former neighbour used to give us all the apples, but these ones just let them rot.
Isn't it a pitty that someone who tries to grow greenbeans on pigmanure (stinking lot!!), doesn't dare to take the apples from the tree before they fall, and rather have the vitamins decay than have their neighbourkids have fun with applesauce and applepie?

After the enormous amounts of rain the clay here was soaked well enough to give me another chance of sowing. So I planted more seeds hoping that this time the weather will cooperate and grant me to eat something from our own garden.
We used to.

Tomorrow son3, the one with ADHD, needs to be seen by a cardiologist.
I hope it's his former one.
He was a kind guy, full of enthousiasm and very good with children. He's head of the outpatient department now.
It'll be fun to see him again after all these years.

On wednesday we need to go there again, then for a holter examination. That's a 24 or 48 hours recording of his heartrate.

I don't expect them to find anything, but one never knows.

My computer is still having troubles.
It's annoying not to have access to my own files.

Well, I wish you a happy day!
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Saturday, July 25, 2009

We don't have a car

july 25 2009


No, we don't have a car.

We shared a car with friends for about a year, until the car was not safe anymore.
Our life was different that time, because we could get the groceries in in one or two drives, and because a trip to the doc was about an hour, visit included, instead of half a day.
On sunday afternoon we want for a drive around the country.

It's not the decision against pollution that is the main motivation.
It's a financial decision.
Having a car means taxes and the whole lot, and we just can't afford it.
I don't have a driver's lisence and the job of the father of the kids can be reached by train a lot easier and faster.

Groceries are wheeled in by bicycle.
Every saturday it means a few trips to the shopping centre, heavy bags and lots of time.
The father of the kids doesn't mind doing this.
Now the shops are open until 22.00 hours in the evening, he can even go shopping every day!

Now I'm getting older and traveling by bus is getting more expensive I long for a car at times.
Especially when doctor´s visits with the children are involved. They need to go more often and each and every time it takes me half a day.

Trips for pleasure are not made.
We can´t drive to the airport just like that, for instance, to catch a cheap ryan air in the morning and come back in the evening.
An other things need to be prepared well.

But the fact that we´re much friendlier for the environment makes me feel rather OK about it.

I´m annoyed by the fact that so many people think that each and everyone on this world has a car.
That makes me more aware of how people think about, for instance, phones.
They can´t even imagine someone doesn´t have a phone.
So it´s a sport to go against that and try to make people use email.

I won´t convert car users to ride bycicles.
Most of them won´t use something on two tyres.
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Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday impression

july 24 2009

The last day of the international 4 days marches.
I expect about 37.000 people from a tremendous amount of countries to reach the festive finish.

I'm sure they'll be happy.
Not only because they managed the walk the long distances each day, but also because the weather has been a mix of terribly hot weather and loads of rain.

The festivities for the other people in town (millions) are crowned today with beautiful sunny weather. I hope it extends to this evening, because I would really like to have a walk in town and maybe visit one or two open air concerts. (Update: didn't happen)

Last year our band was hardly on TV and even though lots of other bands were mentioned by name, the local bagpipe band was not mentioned at all.
So I wrote the TV team that they should mention them, because they perform everywhere along the route, all days, and are in town in the evenings.
I even explained that the last day a massed band walkes the sporters to the finish.

Well, I have to thank the TV team, because they were mentioned in the best way possible and got a lot of screentime. LOL!

There's been one case of mexican flu diagnosed. A 21 year old british soldier. She's in quarantaine in hospital.
No other reports about the flu yet.

While I'm writing this the sun has gone and the rain is pouring out again.
I hope that people who came abread remember the positive attitude of people and the support given to them all days, and not the weather of this year.

Looking back I can remember only one year which has been worse with rain.

Oh my gosh, thunder and lightning.
The best walkers have already finished, those who struggle are still on route.
I'm so sorry for them.
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Just another autism day

july 22 2009



Last night we had very bad weather. Lots of lightning and thunder.
Seems the weather is getting worse each year.

The girls are to a hairmetamorfosis.
It's for siblings of autistic kids, as a special treat.

Boy nr 2 went to a meeting about living on his own with some care.
I've been busy with it since last year.
They rejected him, but his social worker said she would get him there.
The meeting went fine, but it turnes out he needs to hand over all his savings and his earnings.
He is saving for professional photoequipment and he's been very serious about it so....

He's ready to leave the house, and we're ready for him to leave, but I don't think he should hand over all the hard earned money and get pocketmoney each month which doesn't count up to what he brings in and what his rent is.
He needs to learn to live on his own and taking care of financial matters is part of it.

So I assume it's time to look out for another way of living.
It's that he has his goals far too high, otherwise he could rent a room at a studenthouse.

I'm annoyed that everything needs so much effort and struggle.
People who have enough money can do what they want.

I'm sick of struggling.
The wellbeing of my kids is depentdent on me and on some people who make the most stupid decisions and who don't care a bit.

Take our application for daycare for my autistic son.
It's a month ago, and they can easily take another month to tell us we have to wait longer. It's 40 days to write an answer to our letter.

I've spend so much time and effort making my son want to go to daycare.
By the time they've reached their decision he doesn't want to go there anymore.

People, even those who are professional carers, don't really understand how it is to live autism every day.

This morning a door slammed and it woke me up. At 5.30.
My autistic son wanted to eat something and his father was too firm asleep to make him something.
Oh, he can perfectly make sandwiches for himself, but he doesn't do it.
He needs to make decisions about butter and what to put on it, and he has to think where things are in the fridge. It's too much effort for him to reinvent creating sandwiches. (He's lucky he doesn't have to bake the bread himself.)

Because I'm far too tired and stressed I couldn't fall alsleep last night.
So I slept just one simple hour.

When all were up and running I suggested I might order some special vouchers for the train and busses.
Because a new payment system is introduced it's only a few euro. 3!!! For a whole day free travelling in the county/region.
I was told right in my face by the father of the kids that it wouldn't happen, because I cancelled a day like that in the past because of my asthma.

Well, that's my life.

I'm not complaining, just stating the facts.

When I look upo from typing this and someone enters the room, I'll just smile.
Because when I don't only the girls will care and they have enough to deal with.

I can only hope that I can keep up running this family until my doc comes back and has found out why the bloodresults are a compete mess.






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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Queen's Meme No. 2 ~ Mission Impossible

June 21 2009




1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?

It's my lipcare.
I'm sure they won't have me leave the moon just for that.
They'll send it to me pronto in it's own rocket, and have it land rigtht in front of me on a cute little pink parachute.

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class.
They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you.
What is the first thing you would write on the board?


Haha! I got a group at university that bullied away their teacher.
I just told tem that I already had my degrees and that it was not my responsibility to make them get theirs.
Told them I would be in the restaurant and I would be there for half an hour and then leave.
I only wanted to come back after appologies, my coffee paid and that within the next half hour.

Then I felt.

Ofcourse they came with appologies, enough money to pay for ten coffees and I had the best hard working group ever.

With younger kids I'd probably ask for someone of my family to bring a summerchair and mp3 with earplugs.
I would tell the kids I'm paid to be present, so I will stay and that they have to stay in school by law too. That it's their parents who'll get a heart attack when they see their schoolreports.
I would inform the principal of my actions, then close the door, sit down and enjoy the music until they're quiet and want to be taught.

3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile?
How would you handle it?


I would comment anonymously and tell them their comment isn't nice for the person they're talking about.
Then I would never return.

4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?

Lipcare, so I can put the spare one in my bag for my travel to the moon. LOL!

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?

They're welcome and I would ask them to bring the kids too.

They have a choice between tomato soup and mushroom soup,
then I would serve a real dutch dish, like boerenkool met worst,
and have icecream as desert.

I would treat them as friends and make them feel like normal people for the hours they're here.
Ofcourse I'll take him aside for a few moments to stress the importance of international relationships, on the way we deal with our army (and our laws which state it's an army for defensive purposes only, and I would stress the importance for international cooperation on the areas of research, diagnosis and treatment of autism.

6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?

That'll never happen.

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either:

(1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years
(2) perfect health for a lifetime
(3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind
(4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.

I'd choose nr 2 because I know how my health has influenced my life.


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Monday, July 20, 2009

The continuing story

july 20 2009

Still waiting for the official sign to go to send my autistic son to daycare.
It's just for two days a week, but still a commission needs to agree with the financial side of it all.
I hope that by the time things are OK'd there's still place for him.

Got a message from the social worker last week.
The council representative wanted us to fill in a paper about this.
I tried to keep it away from me by asking her to send it to us and by keeping the envelop closed an have my son's father take care of it.

Ha!

So I saw it yesterday.
My name was typed wrong. Which really made me irritated, because she knows my name after so many years and after bullying us so much.

Then I saw she wanted to give only a few months permission. And we had to write down what he was going to do.

Well, I'm not quite willing anymore to do the same work again and again. She's been completely informed my the social worker, so I wrote that down.

Then I looked at the other pages and saw that the same form could be used to request freedom of school because of psychiatric difficulties.

We went through that all and it was refused by the council doctor without even seeing us or our son, and not even on medical reasons. No, she said there would be a place for him in the educational system somewhere.
Well, there is none.

So I filled the small square completely, and then said the social worker to enclose the last letter of the psychiatrist.

Now it's up the council representative to accept the last request or keep on bullying until one of us breaks.

At the moment I'm overstressed and overworked and I really really need a vacation, so when she wants a fight, I'm sure she'll get it.
I'm sure my brain won't keep me my old nice self long enough.

Well the paperwork is on it's way to this unpleasant manipulative creature.
Let's see what's going to happen during the vacation.

Last year they really bullied us, I bet this time I'll amaze them when they start troubling us again.
A friend had good advice: steam open the envelope. When you don't want to deal with it, send their stuff back with on the envelope: during vacationtime no mail accepted. LOL!

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Monday Crazy Questions

July 20 2009




1.what is one thing that will put a great big ole smile on your face?

A vacation to the UK.

2.Your walking down the street toward a very familiar face. As you get closer you realize you do not remember this persons name at all. Do you speak with the chance that they'll want to stop and chat or do you pretend that you don't see the person?

I'll talk.
I'm sure the voice will bring back memories. And otherwise there's always the weather to talk about. LOL!

3. Are you the Rock or the sponge of your household?

I'm the one who organises it all, does it all, hears it all...

4. You have gone over to a friends for dinner. You look down at your plate and notice a great big ole hair hanging out from inside your sandwich. What do you do?

Eat around it and let the rest disappear in my sock.

5. If you HAD to name one....who would you say is your role model?

My gram is my role model.
She was a very modern woman in that time, who played main parts in theatre, sang and ran a household with 7 kids.
She brought them all through the occupation in WW2 alive. Which was quite something as this town has been frontline city.

6. Have you raised children? If so do you think your parenting skills were top notch or could have used a little help from Dr Phil?

My parenting skills are and were OK.
I don't think much of Dr. Phil after the ways he uttered himself about my country without even knowing what he was talking about.
I think he sticks too much to his old tricks and repeats himself far too often.
I also think he judges people far too much for a psychologist. We're here to assist people to make better choices, not to make our choices.

7. would your -(Past or present)- mate/spouse, significant other/whatever -say that living with you has been like a gentle breeze or more like a hurricane?

In fact he doesn't care one single bit how his life with me has been.
As long as I don't request anything he's OK.
He's autistic.

So I'm here answering these questions, with the dishes in the kitchen, he was su7pposed to do today. He's with the kids to the Harry Potter movie. He didn't even ask if I wanted to go.

8. When you shop at the grocery store, do you always shop exactly by a list or just go helter skelter and hope that you get home with most of what you need?

I know what's needed, and I'll get it.
No list needed. Not after 23 years with kids around.

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Manic Monday #176

july 20 2009

When and with whom was your first kiss?

Well, I think it was with one of the neighbourhood boys when I was about 4.
We married when I was 5.
We lost contact when I went to school. I've always assumed he went to school too. LOL
His sister is a famous TV presentor, he? I don't know.

When I was more grown up my first kiss was with H.
Never kissed with someone as nice as with him.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

I have to, otherwise this life is completely meaningless for me.

What would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

That he now understands what autism is and that he grants me to return to deliver the cure to the world.
He'll also gives me my own space station, and the opportunity to go on vacation where ever I want to go.

(Thanks God!!)






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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Letting go

july 18 2009



1. In a moment of anger, someone close to you says something unkind: even after he or she apologizes, how easily do you let it go?

I used to be able to let it go easily.
Ofcourse the child would get a short lecture about how te deal with anger, and the grown up would get the message about my feelings.

The last months it costs me more time.
It's time I'm not the one who has to direct everyone's behaviour.
Even my autistic son should be able to internalise some impulse regulation.
And that certainly goes for his father.

The repeating situations are irritating me.
It's like only their emotions count.

That I want to cope with their behaviour won't last much longer.
I stayed at home from england because of their behaviour.
I have to pull them out of situations that shouldn't have emerged at all, because the father should take his responsibilities more serious than his ego.

2. Your boss criticizes you for something you’ve done wrong: how quick are you to put the criticism itself out of your mind?

I'm not working for pay so that makes things easy. I work more at an advisory level at my profession at the moment, and as a public speaker.

But I'm a perfectionist, certainly at the professional level.
As a psychologist I can't afford to make mistakes, because the lives of other people are involved.

Thinking back I can't remember having made a mistake that made my/any boss criticise me.
But I have lot of self criticism and I can bug myself to bits.

3. Take the quiz: Are You Thin-Skinned or Thick-Skinned?




You Are Thick-Skinned



People may not always love you, but that's totally fine.

You're happy with who you are, and you don't really crave outside approval.



You love yourself, and that's the most important thing. You have high self esteem.

And because you don't care what other people think, they tend to like you a lot!



4. As a general rule, are you more encouraging to others, or do others tend to be more encouraging to you?

I'm the one encouraging others.
Apart for some online friends (thanks!!) no one encourages me.
That's one of the problems thgat I feel empty and in need of a vacation.

5. If you’re on the fence about a decision, how likely is pressure to do what your friends want you to do going to affect your decision?

Well, I make my own choices.
Hardly having a social life helps a lot.

But when I look broader: I've been standing up a lot against socalled authorities the past years. Like the council representative in the case of the unavailability of a schoolplace for my son.

6. Think of the oldest thing said to you that “stings” for one reason or another that you haven’t completely let go of: how long ago did that happen?

My youthfriend, which was like a brother, called me cold.
I felt very hurt, until my best friend told me that it was the analytical way of dealing with problem situations that made him say that.
He was right.
I never panick when something happens. When I would have had the chance to become a doctor I'd certainly be one at the ER.

After it became clear my marriage was over I first thought it was due to me. That I didn't invest enough feelings in our relationship.
Which was nuts to think, I know that now.
I was married with an autistic man and all my efforts to invest feelings were slowly dying because of lack of response.

I miss my friend very much, and now and then his painful remark pops up.
Maybe I wasn't shy in meeting boys and men. Maybe I was just cold.

But deep in my heart I know I just haven't met the right one.
I wonder if I ever will.


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For those who miss me online:
my computer doesn't work properly and the laptop I'm using is so slow it should be forbidden.

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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Heatwave

July 11 2009

1. It’s July. How has the weather been where you are?

We've had very warm weather last week, but it has changed to more acceptable weather.
It's a pity it comes with loads of rain and bad weather.
Last night we were downstairs twice because the lightning was too bad.

2. What is the best way for you to beat the heat?

Keep calm, drink enough and stay cool at the computer. LOL!

3. “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” Do you buy that?

Oh yes, I do.
We can have very high humidity here and it makes you feel closed in.
The body can't get rid of the warmth anymore. So you start to feel just like when it's much warmer.

4. Do you like hot tubs or saunas?

Because of my asthma I'm not allowed to go to the sauna.
And with all the care for the kids I can't take a bath anymore, just a quick shower.
We don't have those hot tubs in the garden people in some countries have.
I don't think I would enjoy sitting in a thing like that with others.
Swimming is much more fun.

5. What’s the hottest you’ve ever been?

Somewhere of 38 or 40 degrees celcius in the shadow.

6. How many times do you hit the beach in the summer?

Last year I went there for the first time in 23 years. Just for a few hours.
We're living too far away.

7. When you were a kid, what did you do in the summer?

Play with water.
Go with friend to the woods and play there.

8. Surfing. Have you ever gotten on a surfboard? Body surf?

No, never.
But I've seen those surfers with a parachute last year.
They jumped 7 to 8 meters. Wow!!

9. What’s your favorite summer song?

Summertime from Porgy and Bess, sung by Janice Joplin.
Ofcourse I always sing it with her. LOL!

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Computer, Nasa and lightning

july 17 2009

My computer is experiencing troubles again.
When I'm happy writing, it suddenly closes down.

Maybe it's that fan they put in it last time. I don't know.

I'm trying to keep up a bit with a laptop that's sooooo slow, I can better deliver the mails I want to send myself. And it doesn't have sound.

I'll try to keep up a bit with this thing, but in the back of my mind I regret not having married one of the huge computerproducers. I'm sure someone like Billl Gates wouldn't have left me here with below zero equipment at the time of a nasa mission.


I love to watch it.
It's such a real time miracle that I can watch them docking and working in the spacestation at the time that they fly right above me.

One of the boys saw the shuttle pass above yesterday.

When we took a walk later it was all clouded. Couldn't see the moon which was moving anti clockwise this week. Each evening it was more to the left. So strange!

Last night we got the bad weather the weatherservice warned us for.

Half-way during the night the clouds gathered right above our heads, with lots of horizontal lightning and huge amounts of rain.
The girls sleep under the tilted window, so we went downstairs.

Early morning it started again.
I noticed it, and went back to sleep, but a huge lightning struck somewhere near. The bed was shaking.
So we were down again.

All in all we can say we entered the vacation with thunder and lightning.
Ugh!
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Thursday, July 16, 2009

start of vacation

july 16 2009

The girls both got a good report.
They're among the best of their group.

What a different experience than I had with the boys.

Yesterday the girls went with school to the beach.
They arrived late, because the driver didn't know the way. --???

Then it turned out they had to be somewhere else because they first had to walk through the dunes.

By 13.00 hours they arrived at the beach.
3 hours later it was time to go home.

We expected the school to buy them frites or something, because they were not allowed to take money with them.
Well, they came home at 20.00 craving for food.

I watched the entrance to the beach a couple of times with the webcam and could surprise them with a few photos with them on it. LOL!

So now it's vacation.
I've never started it as tired as I am now.
I'm completely exhausted, can cry all day.

We're still waiting for the commission to decide on daycare for my autistic son.
It's only for two days.

My computer is acting weird, so in case you won't see me online somewhere, know that I'm annoyed with the fact that the thing gave up.

I hope your vacation will be better.

Here all will be the same boring and depressing routine as always, except the fact that there are more people around.

Anyone offering a free vacation? LOL!
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Selling an old keyboard to an autistic boy

july 14 2009

I'm rather angry.

The keyboard of my autistic son gave up yesterday.
That's no wonder, because it's used a lot.

Because I couldn't leave the house, one of my daughters offered to accompany him to the computershop top buy a new one.

When he came home it turned out they gave him a showmodel.
The main part of the letters were gone, the contact only worked on the front of the computer, not on the back. The thing was dirty too.

So they sold a kid which clearly lacks social skills a 29th hand keyboard!!!


This morning his father called the shop and it turned out they had enough new keyboards in store.

So that makes me even more angry!!

Maybe we should have some spare ones here at home....
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Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday Crazy Questions

July 13 2009




1. Do you have a tattoo...??
If so What and where is it??
If not do you have a secret desire to have one?


No,I don't have a tattoo.
But I want one.
At the left wrist I have a round scar. Not large, just a small one.
I want to have a tattood bracelet with the scar as a center.
Haven't found something I absolutely love yet.

I want a tattoo, because I can be identified more easy when something happens.

2. You have been offered a free botox treatment...where do you have them put it?

I haven't been offered a botox treatment. And I certainly won't have any botox in my body.
Instead lift my eyelids. Please...

3. Do you have a good luck charm? what is it?
Do you think it works?


No, I don't have a lucky charm.
But I have favorite earrings. Does that count?

4. When was the last time that you said something to someone that you REALLY wished you hadn't said?

5. The bath water is running, the phone is ringing, the dog is barking and there is someone at the door.....what do you do?

Wonder why the dog is barking, because we don't have a dog. LOL!
I just let the bath run and step in it.
When someone really needs me, he or she will try again later.

6. Your best friend from high school just popped in from out of town.
Do you offer them a place to stay or suggest a hotel?

He or she will have a place to stay already.
But boy, will I be happy to see my friend!!!

7. Have you ever seen a ghost?

Yep, every day when I look into the mirror. Ugh!

Serious: sometimes things happen here that are at least strange.
I have seen a shadow, but never a complete ghost.

8. Someone is driving in front of you rather erratically and slowing you way down...now you see that they are talking on a cell phone and checking themselves out in the mirror. The other lane is blocked off so you can not go around them. What do you do??

Wake up, because we don't have a car.

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Finally a new gate

july 12 2009



Someone entered our garden during the night and stabbed a screwdriver or something like that in the tyres of the bicycles.
We found them fridaymorning.

It was lucky the girls didn't need to go to school on friday.
Their father had to walk to the railwaystation.

On saturday he finally bought a new gate.

Ours was messed with in spring, when one of the backneighbours drove a vehicle though the path between the gardens and caught the grip, tore down some wood, leaving us with the damage.
The vehicle shouldn't have been there in the first place.

The guy promised to buy a new gate, but ofcourse he never did.

Thanks to the stabber of the bycicles we now have a new gate.

It was hung and secured today.

I'm quite happy with it, even though I'm still asking myself why it took so many months before we got a new one. Men!!
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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Huge fire

july 11 2009

This afternoon I wasn't on twitter and ofcourse something happened.

Something happened at the industrial site, at a chemical factory.
First it was an inside fire, but soon dark clouds could be seen from far.
I could see them from my bedroom window.

Boy2, the one who wants to become a photographer, told me he would try to take some photos and went.

Soon after he mailed me photos.
I wrote an accompanying text and send it to the national and regional TV.
The national TV send their own crew when it became clear the fire was only growing, the regional took one of him between the professional ones, before they got their own crew here.

Go here, scroll down and click the photo. In IE you can see little pictures at the bottom, go to nr 9. That's his.

We saw the level of alert rising, and our worries about the toxic effects too.

We were lucky the wind was blowing from us, and not towards us.

We all got an SMS alarm to close doors and windows, people who were sitting at the boulevard at the riverside were told to leave, and even the traffic on the river was put to a halt.
Firefighters from a lot of places came to help our own firefighters and -boat.
The owner of the factory went up in a helicopter to investigate the factory.
They flew just above my son's head when he was hunting for a good place to make a photo.

The alarm went to a stage that the major took over orders and coordinating, and a special emergency meeting was held.

Suddenly it was told there was no danger for the health of people.
Hmmm.... we smelled chloric acid and some other strange smells.

It took them 8 hours before they said they controlled the fire. That means they're still busy.

One man was seriously injured and had surgery. He was in the factory with a colleague when the fire started.

Well, I'm grateful that we had no more injuries.


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Wedding Bell Blues

July 11 2009

1. If you have been or are married, tell us about your wedding. If you are not, tell us how would you want it to be.

Well... I didn't like my dress, I didn't like the hat, I didn't like my hair.
But my parents paid for it....
And because of that they also decided who were at the dinner.

When we went for photo's the flowershop we should have gone to was closed, so we had to stay in the rain. At a very nice spot in nature. So I didn't really mind.

When we arrived at the restaurant, the weddingcake was eaten by people who came in and ordered cake.
They mistook them for the weddingparty.

No wonder our marriage was a complete disaster. Except for the time I was pregnant and had little kids.

2. What age would you encourage your children to get married?

There's no age attached to that.

But there should be more that wanting to leave the house and start a family.

3. Who got married at the last wedding that you attended?

A friend who was at the delivery of one of the babies. She was a student midwife then.

It was a wedding with all women and men in black. Like a funeral.
I think they thought that to be of high standing or so. (No, she wasn't pregnant)

She didn't tell me, so we came there dressed colourful and festive.
I made even beautiful white with pink dresses for the girls. They were about 3 or 4 at the time.

4. Do you enjoy weddings and receptions?

I alsways enjoy celebrations.
But as I hardly know any other people, I almost never attend something like that.

5. Have you cried at a wedding?

Maybe my own.

6. Would you prefer a lavish event or a intimate ceremony?

It depends when I marry again and with whom.
To attent I love a huge wedding where there's lots to see.

7. Have you ever been in some one’s wedding party? If yes, do tell.

Yes. A long time ago.
It was an intimate wedding.

8. Does a wedding make you happy and sentimental or grouchy and skeptical?

When I see the fuzz people make about a wedding at TV, I wonder if they're aware there's something happening after the ceremony too. There's a whole life coming and I think it's silly to have a mortgage on the house and have a huge posh wedding.
They spend all their money to show off.

A wedding is about celebrating love, and it's not the money and the glamour that's central.
Often I see that people have lost all control.
They're nervous a year before and by the time the wedding takes place a complete wreck.
It's all about the guests.
In my eyes it should be about the couple.

9. Why do you think our divorce rate is so high?

I see couple who talk about nothing else than the wedding. When it's over they realize the person at the other side of the breakfast table is not the partner they imagined.

The way americans live also adds to the failure of marriages.
When a family doesn't spend their meals at their own home they miss important aspects of social life.
The best conversations are in the kitchen, during the preparation of meals and during meals and the washing up.
I also wonder whether the intense urge to be better than others makes people less content with what they have.
To have a good marriage you have to live in the present, be aware of the needs of your partner, be willing to invest time and energy and love, and be able to be happy with what you have

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Friday, July 10, 2009

no glucose teststrips anymore

july 10 2009

Anyone who knows something about my life can understand that dealing with diabetes is an additional joke of life.
I just can't understand there are people who are living a life without complications. They should take some of mine.

Today I heard that the insurance won't pay anymore for the glucose teststrips I'm using. OneTouch® Ultra® Teststrips.

It's another blow in the face.
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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Our part to find the causes of autism

july 9 2009

Today we got a call from a very nice lady.

She informed us about the start of our contribution to research to discover the causes of autism.
Part of it involves genetic research and part covers a lot of other theories and questions.
I was even able to add one myself.

She explained we will get a load of forms to fill in.
(Well, world, I only do it for you, because I hate filling forms very, very bad.)

Each child has to fill in his or her own part, and I have to answer questions about their pregnancies, childhoods and a lot more.
Teachers will be involved too.

Ofcourse I have to tackle all that for myself too.

After that we'll be invited for a morning at the hospital, where blood will be drawn, and the kids have to do some computertasks.

Taking part in this research is something we're all looking forward to.
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A bracelet from Kat

july 9 2009

We've returned to the grey humid days of summer.
I'm surprised no one has come up with the concept of Dutch Summer Depression, because it sure deserves recognition with this weather.

Today I should have been on my way to travel to England. To realize my dream that I'm having for 40 years now.
But the day will pass without me enjoying a holiday after 23 years.

I enjoy however something else.
A while ago Kat had a contest on her site and I won the lovely bracelet!!

Since then the girls and I enjoyed it very much.
One of the girls wears it with her orange flowers on white blouse, the other one with her green T-shirt and blouses and I just wear it when I have the chance. LOL!

It's so nice to have won this lovely handmade bracelet.
To know that someone made it with love and care makes it special.
Just a look at it and one is reminded there are good people in this world.

Thanks again a lot Kat, and enjoy your vacation!!
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

a puberty night.

july 8 2009

Yesterday evening 2 of the boys didn't want to go to sleep.
So tell me, what can I do when there's nothing to promise them, nothing to take away from them?
Nothing that will not wake the whole neighbourhood?

This time the ADHD one was the problem.

When it was 4.30 hours I was so angry, and probably looking soo pale, that he finally gave in and went to bed.

Ofcourse I couldn't sleep anymore, being troubled with all sorts of feelings. One of them of being a bad mother.
I know puberty has those moments.
Well, after 4 autistic boys going through puberty I'm completely fed up with it.

It was 5.45 when I fell asleep (I heard a new radioprogram, the first interview and didn't hear the 5.45 newsitems.)
At 7 something woke me up. I don't even know what.

After sending a couple of people to the dentist, I dropped myself on the bed again and got some hours of sleep.

Woooo, the kids were so kind today.....

But I'll contact the psychiatrist of my ADHD boy, so he will finally re-diagnose him so he gets help.
He's got so many autistic features and he's dealing with so many problem autistic kids have to deal with too, that I know the outcome of the diagnosis.
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Fertiliser, moving kids and waiting

july 7 2009



The tropical weather has finally changed into normal Dutch summerweather.
In the house we need a few degrees less and all is well.

It will be a problem to get it down though.
Someone used fertilizer on his back garden. Pig dung.
I expect it's done by the new neightbours. They're completely clueless how to behave in a normal house.

Ofcourse I know I have to be grateful their constant bickering and arguing made the father of the kids feel the urge to leave this house too, but I'm not happy with the stinking cloud above our gardens.

In times like these I have breathing problems. Asthma and chronic bronchitis are life compagnions, and I can deal with them reasonably well as long as the air I'm breathing is odourless.
The fact that I had to get the laundry in and close the doors and windows, so the temperature in the house stays far too high, that drives me nuts.

Reporting the stinking disruption of these pre-vacation days can only be done by phone.
As I'm trying to live a life with as little use of these mini-dictators as possible my understanding for people with hearing deficiencies has grown.
Society seems to be molded around phone and car, but as long as the law doesn't order me to have one of each, I'll do without.
So I protested against the lack of use of email, asked if my complaint could be send to the right department and even requested not to report the findings of the sniffing in person, because it would upset my autistic boy.

My oldest (Asperger) has been chosen as the new inhabitant of a house where young autistic people get support during 4 days a week. It's a step between the trainingshouse and living on his own.
It's what he wanted, so I'm happy for him.

I feel sorry I didn't visit him very much at the trainingshouse. The new location is far easier to reach, so who knows.

In two weeks my second son will have a talk at the location where he wants to live. He was rejected because he doesn't have an IQ below 70. His social worker wants to have a go to try them to lift that requirement.
He's ready to leave the house.

We still haven't heard from the board that should decide about my autistic boy. He applied for daycare and they need to decide about the money. The daycare has a place open for him.

I still feel lost about not going to england.
I need a vacation so badly!!!!!




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Monday Crazy Questions

July 6 2009



1. Do you have a bucket list?(if you have it posted feel free to post your URL)
If you don't have one, then jot down 5 quick things on a piece of paper that you know you'd want on your list...or imagine some of the things you know you'd put on a Bucket list to be. (potential future list)

  • moving to Scotland
  • find out where my dad served in the english RAF during WW2. (I know only two places)
  • parachute jump
  • Write a book about my experiences with the world of autism
  • travel the world as a travel reporter

2. Do you think you have already fulfilled anything on your bucket list or bucket list to be?

Oh yes.
  • wrote a book (and translated a few)
  • became an autism advocate
  • learned playing the bagpipes
3. what are the top 3 things you'd like to do before you leave this world?
  • Have my children living at a place where they can be happy
  • Find acknowledgment for what I've done to better the world.
  • See some of my friends and my soulbrother.
4. If it would take a lot of money to fulfill one of your wishes on your bucket list, would you try to find the money or just skip that one?

I really, really, really want to move to Scotland. It's such a deep inner longing.
We don't have money, not even to buy a house, but I will do all what's in my power to realise that dream.

5. Life is just a struggle.

6. The glass isn't half empty it's broken most days, so I drink my water out of a mug then.

7. If you had a chance to be with your MOST favorite entertainer in the whole world before you leave this world, who would that be and how much time would you want to spend with them?

I don't have one favorite.
But right now I would love to travel with Michael Palin to all the beautiful places in the UK.

8. If you were given the chance to go anywhere in the world before the end comes...where would you go and what would you want to see?

I would love to see the Mt. Everest and Tibet, and pay tribute to all the courageous people in the world.
Then I would go to Mali, make music and sing a lot, and then walk into the dessert and die.

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Monday, July 6, 2009

Manic Monday #175

july 6 2009

Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at:

- speaking in public
- handling crisis situations

Name two things you consider yourself to be bad at:

- asking money for work
- going to bed at a normal time

Name one thing not many people know about you:

I would love to play Lucinda Walsh's unknown sister in As The World Turns.






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Sunday, July 5, 2009

Threatening bloggers with court?

july 5 2009

I'm sorry to withold my political comments you expect from me on the preterm escape of responsibilities given by those who thought she would be the best to represent the beautiful mainly white part of a huge nation.

Being able to see Russia from her bedroom window she fell for a higher calling which origins are still unknown.

Those who know me know how much I dislike facebook, so I won't cite the content of the publicized writings which spoke of plans which are too prestigious for someone who has made so many mistakes in the past and who isn't able to verbalise her plans well in interviews.

As a psychologist I'm not amazed by the many absurd ideas and dreamed realities some people indulge themselves in. It's a true adventure to study them and to see how they're able to draw other fools into their make belief.
The products of their minds so often follow the same patterns that I should be able to write a new submission for the DSM VI. I gather the development process of the creation of DSM V is too far to allow the uptake of new scientific researched personality disorders.
And ofcourse I want to prevent unnecessary lawsuits after bloggers and publications were openly threatened.
How serious an attourney should be taken who warns against fraudulous claims of bloggers is an open question.
It's certainly a forewarning of the way she wants to realize her ambition.

We bloggers don't claim.
We give our opinions and thoughtwebs of our own creative origin as individual writers as a way of dancing with poetry, prose, phantasy and freedom of speech.
We know facts speak for themselves.

The fact that history shows how many people blindly followed those who turned humanity into a disgrace is wellknown.

Flirting with silence becomes a victorian woman who wants to elude her friends when they request information about her private life, but it doesn't become a woman of this time who has been so many times lost for words.

I can only wait to see how serious americans take themselves and their country on the political stage.
She promised us theatre.
I'm curious whether it'll be a repeat of past history, a comedy or a drama.





Note:
Threatening the writing media and others with court when unfavorable, inconvenient etc texts are written is censorship and goes completely against freedom of speech.
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400 years The Netherlands and New York

july 5 2009



It's nice to hear that yesterday the bond between The Netherlands and the USA was celebrated with huge fireworks on the Hudson. 120.000 arrows were used.

400 years were celebrated.
Here we didn't know anything about it, so I wonder how many Dutch people were between the 2 million that watched the show. (I wasn't invited).

It was in 1609 that the english Henry Hudson sailed the Hudson with a Dutch VOC schip "de Halve Maen" and set foot on land at a place where now Manhattan is.
He and his english and dutch fellows started a trading post called Nieuw Amsterdam (new Amsterdam) and it grew out to New York.

I guess the news off the 400 years anniversary didn't get much attention yesterday, because here it's celebrated in september, from 8 to 13.

The Ship Hudson and his fellows used can be seen in The Netherlands Museum in New York.






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Pets

july 4 2009



1. What was the very first pet you ever had? How close were you to that pet?

I didn't have a pet, but my gram had a dog and the dog was special to me.
Or was I special to the dog?

My mother was not the kindest person in the world and the relationship with my gram was..eh.. distant.

One day my mother visited my gram with me when I was a baby.
When it was time to leave she tried to pick me up, but the dog made clear he would attack her when she neared me.

That dog protected me against her, but also against the heat of the oven, against crawling too close to the door, and against a wasp in the room.

He didn't protect the other small children in the family. Just me.

2. What is the most unusual pet you’ve had?

My dad got some eggs from the farm nearby and he put them in a basket under a hot light.
We stayed the night watching the eggs come out.
The chickens grew up until they were too tall to stay in the back garden.
We brought them back to the farm.

3. How many different kinds of animals have you owned and which type do you think acted the closest to you?

I haven't owned animals.

Can we own animals?
We can have them as guest in our houses, feed them, hug them, teach them tricks. But they stay independent individuals.

4. Take the quiz: What Pet Are You Like?




You Are Like a Dog



You are a natural best friend. You are very loyal and faithful.

In your eyes, your friends can do no wrong. You will stick with them no matter what.



You have a protective streak, and you can be downright nasty if you're being threatened.

More than anything else, you are playful and laid back. You truly live in the moment.



5. Do you have any desire to have an “exotic” pet? If so, what exotic pet would you most likely choose?

Well, I think it's wiser to leave animals in their natural habitation.

I like Jane Goodall and her work.
When I was younger I dreamed to join her and study the magnificent chimpanzees.
Wouldn't it be great to have contact with the creatures that are so close to humans?

6. Which exotic pet would you least likely own?

Snakes, spiders, you know... Ugh!!

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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Saturday 9

July 4 2009

Don't read when you're easily offended.

1. What is your favorite 4th of July memory? (If you aren't in the U.S., then use your own national holiday.)

We don't have just one national holiday, we have more.

One of my favorite memories is when I was about 7 or 9 and won the rolerskate contest.
We were there with my gram, her sister and my father.
Our neigbourboy was skating in a group with older boys. I admired him to bits.
That he admired me for winning was something completely new for me.
It placed admiring someone in a whole new light, because winning was for me far more important for overcoming the hesitation to show what I could do, than being better than someone else.
I didn't like the fact that some people were nice to me just because I'd won one of the many contests.
I was just the same person, and I thought it dishonest or something like that that people talked suddenly about me as the girl who won rolerskating whereas 5 minutes before I was just the pale, thin girl with the glasses.

We also had contests in streetdrawing. and some other typical old-dutch sports and contests.

They were all held in parks and on the streets.

People were happy with nothing.

2. Do you consider yourself patriotic?

No.
We don't consider ourselves patriotic here.
Patriotism is considered here the pride in one's country, thinking it's the best in the world.
Even more, patriotism hasn't a favorable feeling to it, because it's linked with countries interfering in other countries, going to war, and pride which make people feel they are a better breed than others. (looking down on other countries).

We do have a strong sense of belonging to our country. But it's not pride.
We embrace the way we make a true home for our family, the typical dutch meals, the history, the hospitality, the royal family, our freedom of speech, the discussions, (to mention just a few elements), but it's not a feeling that reaches outside, it doesn't need a symbol. It's nothing to show off.
Most people just know the first verse of the national anthem.
We don't belong to The Netherlands, we àre Dutch.
And because it's in us, no one can threaten to take it away from us. We can't lose it.
Maybe that's why we're willing to learn languages and we feel we have to speak english when we're in England and french when we're in France.
We don't need pride in our country, because we know where part of it. That's enough.

So no, we don't feel patriotic and I certainly don't.
I think we all live on a different part of Mother Earth as guests.
There's no need to feel better than others.

We're a country of traders, of salespeople.
It reflects in the character of the way we deal with our feelings towards our own country and other countries.
When you really want to respect other people, you have to understand them and don't feel high on a pedestal.

3. Do you like fireworks?

Yes, I do.
But when I was younger I liked it far more.

4. What are your plans for this weekend?

Doing the laundry, cleaning the house, try to feel a bit better because the temperature goes down, keep the peace between the people here, try to help them deal with their emotions.

5. Are you optimistic about the future?

Not about the political future, when you mean that.

I think our government wants to adjust far too much to what's dictated by some large countries in the world. The whole terrorist issue is blown to proportion so huge, that normal people are considered a threat.

We had to deal with terrorism in the past often enough when we had idealistic movements fighting to gain control. A train hijacked, schoolchildren kept hostage. We dealt with it and we went on living.

Now it's like we have to live the imagination and fears of others.
The way everything about people is controlled and registered is sick.
Why save 1,5 years of my mails, for instance?
Why take notes of everything a person does and save it for so many years?
When a child does something wrong when it's 4, it can still be seen when he's 54.
I have nothing to hide, but I don't feel free anymore.

Another thing is how political issues are dealt with.
The rise of the right wing politicians is frightening. And I certainly don't like the way some american journalists and others, like Dr. Phil, deal with it without true knowledge.
We have dealt with right wing rising in the past and we learned our lesson. The consequence of not listening to the warning signs was the murdering of Jews and WW2.
It was better that foreign interference didn't reinforce people who are too stupid for self reflection, like Wilders.

Well, that's one of the main reasons we want to leave the country.

6. Do you think everyone should serve in the military?

No, not at all.
I think it's a disgrace young people are used for political games and interference in countries.
Most wars and socalled peace missions have no use at all, and only raise more aggression and a set back in the economical climate and standard of life for normal people.

We have by constitution only a defensive army.
Still we're pulled in missions which are in fact not constitutional, because we're otherwise considered enemies of the USA.

Our soldiers die for a cause of another country almost no one in our country backs up.

I don't spread my religious beliefs around, but I do strongly believe the commandment that says that we shouldn't kill other people. Sending young people into war means a lack of respect for the lives of those young people.
I consider all my children unique individuals that are trusted to me. The trust given to me is that I'll give my best to make them become honorable people who respect other living creatures.
When I teach them they shouldn't hit another person when they're 4, and they shouldn't bully another child when they're 8, I can't teach them they're a hero when they shoot someone else.

My dad was in the Royal Air Force of England during WW2 to free our country from German occupation, after he worked for the resistance.
He helped pilots to find their way home, Jews to escape from being transported to the concentration camps. He worked as a flying engineer.
I've seen what war did to him and his army chaplain. And I see what war does with young people now.
I would prevent with my own life my children serving in the military to go to war in another country.
I don't give birth to have my children kill others.

7. Would you support a constitutional ban on flag burning?

Well, I'm not sure what's considered a constitutional ban.
And I think the question about flag burning is strange.

We don't consider our flag holy or so.
OK, it's a symbol of our country.
But we don't sing for the flag or salute or put it on school and campus grounds.

I don't think flags should be burned.

8. What end of the political spectrum are you?

We have a completely different political system.
A multi party system.
We can chose the people in our parliament not only by party but also by person.
Before the elections parties publicise a program, a system of plans they want to realise.
Voting is the result of reading those programs and chosing the one that reflects our ideas best.
It's much more democratic than a two party system in which people can only vote for the voters. (And much cheaper too.)

9. Where do you get your news?

From reliable sources in the region, by own research, fron journalist friends, from other sources like the national news agency. And from internet.
I like the news verified before it's published.

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Friday, July 3, 2009

Discrimination and the rest of today

july 3 2009

Remember that doctor that refused to shake hands with me? Read here.

This morning my son had to visit him again and his father went with him.

The guy shaked hands with both of them in a very friendly manner.
He didn't even say a word when both father and son walked with him to the room.

Ofcourse my son had his own plans.
Because the medical information I had for that doc was completely ignored, my son was not willing to answer his questions himself.

So when the doc asked him about the results of the neurological exams he said he should ask his father, because he himself didn't know. So that doc had no choice as to accept the input of the parents.

Well, my son starts working again soon. But because we have to wait for the examinations of the cardiologist he's not allowed to do heavy lifting and such and he will be trained in counterwork and payments. Just a few hours a week to start with.

It's a great promotion! Yea!!


In the meantime I was at home and got the reaction to the complaint I made about the behaviour of that doc when I was there.

No apology.

Just a message that my complaint was received and discussed with that doc.
I should be aware that the doc should have been warned a parent would come with my son (that's not normal in our country) and that I should sit back and say nothing...etc. etc. etc.

It was like a new parents was introduced to parenting behaviour in the doctor's room

So this reaction will lead to a new complaint.

I didn't receive a reaction on all elements of my complaint, and there is absolutely no reason to educate me in normal behaviour.
In fact, I still believe that doc lacks social skills.
When they were talking about the death of the grandmother of my son he didn't even express his condolences.

And why do they want a forewarning that a parent will accompany a minor son, when they allow my husband to enter without one word?

Well, I was glad I was at home, because the weather was tropical again.
Humid and very hot.

In the afternoon I had to get the wet clothes from the line because bad weather came in so fast, I switched on the TV and was confronted with a powerful weather warning.
It was told that dangerous lightning was expected.

I was worried about the girls who have to cross a bridge over a wide canal.
They called soon after to tell me they would stay at school.

But when the weather permitted them to come home I didn't see them.
I was so worried!!

Turned out the school told all the kids to leave..... in thunder, rain and lightning (!!!).. and they went to the house of a friend nearby.
Didn't call me. Arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

When they arrived home they were lucky they were not grounded until they're 25 years of age. LOL!

Well, we didn't get one drop of rain at this side of the bridge.
So I've cut the lavender from the front garden. And tried once more to sow lettuce.

Last year we got a huge amount of little packages of sunflower seeds.
Because good rain was expected I opened them all and threw them at the outer borders of the back and front garden.
I assume the birds will eat them.
There are so many young blackbirds and other birds in the garden.
I heard some finches talk with each other.

Ofcourse I like sunflowers, but the garden is so full of shadow, that I don't expect them to grow. And I love the birds around me when I'm hanging the laundry.

We didn't go out for an evening walk today.
Yesterday the moon was huge and orange/red, hanging low above the horizon.
Such a strange place.

I'm not feeling well, so I'd rather go to bed.
Bye!
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Food 4 Thought Friday

july 3 2009




Breakfast
What is the last movie you saw and how did you like it?

I can't remember. Sorry.

Lunch
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

A while ago I had a very creamy one with chocolate chips. That was perfect!!
I love banana, lemon and chocolate best.

Dinner
What is one goal you want to achieve this summer?

I think it's ridiculous I can't go away to england or scotland... so I want to achieve a vacation.

Midnight Snack
What do you do to pamper yourself?

Watching the stars at night. Promising life will be better. Telling myself there must be a good reason why I have to go through this all.
Music is always good.

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life, what is it just for this week?)

Report it when you're not treated well by a doctor.

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Tropical day

july 2 2009

Bags of bedsheets came from the house and I washed them all.
Got them all on the line and dry in one day.
Amazing.

It was a tropical day.. in fact it still is.
It's half past one in the night and at most places the temp is still above 20 degrees celcius.

The girls are sleeping.
They had a fun day.
Instead of a sportsday at school with all kids running around with ball games, they had to chose a sportive activity and they both chose horse riding.

Ofcourse they waited until yesterday evening before telling they couldn't go there with the mother of a friend, as they told us before.
They horse riding school is so far from here that they weren't allowed to go by themselves, so their dad said he would bicycle with them. His mood didn't improve one bit by his own decision.
So I had a look at the busschedules...

They went by bus, had an enormous good time riding through the woods with an instructor beside each of them, and a good bus ride back.


My autistic son doesn't want to go to sleep.
He can't cope with this high temps and he doesn't care one bit how someone else is feeling.
I'm lucky he isn't yelling the whole neighbourhood awake, but the night isn't over yet.

He's also angry at his brother, who's having a lan party with his friends.
Ofcourse he feels bad he's not invited, even though he wouldn't have gone anyway, but in his experience he misses a strange kind of security now his brother isn't at their room.

I'm so tired of dealing with all of these problems almost each day.
Everyone is asleep in the neighbourhood, except us.
I can's show my emotions, because he can't deal with them and he'll only get angry because he can't.

Now England is out of the agenda I'm sucked in the depressing endless sequence of days again.
Sometimes I even wonder why I invested so much to make them behave rather normal, because people have no idea what a struggle it is every day.

Imagine a 17 year old who's afraid of water and who refuses to shower during these days. I can't lift him and put him in the water, and he doesn't fall for positive reinforcement anymore.
Imagine shaving a 17 year old who is at least 25 cm taller...
He's afraid to shave himself.

His brother just came in. The boys decided to stop the lan party, because it's so hot they were afraid their computers might get overheated.

So upstairs the lights will be out soon...I hope.
And maybe I'll get a few hours of sleep.
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