Sunday, June 21, 2009

She passed away

june 21 2009

She was born in a large family, married to someone who wasn't accepted by her family, and got three children.

Her life was tragic.
A husband who never trusted her.
He was as paranoid that he wasn't able to let her go to the physiotherapist, without questioning her about the man who left through the same door.

Through the years they got a balance in the way they both perceived the world.

When they met me, history repeated itself.
I wasn't accepted, was followed in the streets to control me and often I was told their son should have married M, a nice girl living in the neighbourhood.

Ofcourse I assumed that the first grandchild would change the world.
I was wrong. The distance between both families only grew larger.

When her husband died we thought things would change.
In a way it did.
She got more social contacts, was able to go shopping and have fun fitting dresses with a family member.
She saw some of her grandchildren before her mind started to dwell in the past and moments of the present faded away more quickly than they happened.

Ignoring herself, her happiness and her wellbeing had become such a way of life that she detected her cancer far too late.
Surgery last week should have brought her more time to experience freedom, but instead she became agitated, wanted to go home.
The last image of her is one of goodbyes.

While her son walked away to go home, wondering whether she even knew who had been there, she leaned on her stick and suddenly clearly asked him to greet her grandchildren and me.

It was her first and last effort to tie a knot between us all.
Maybe a way of giving forgiveness a chance.
She bridged the gap of time and place.
I hope we both smiled.

In a moment of delusion she ripped open the stitches and caused herself so much harm that she needed more surgery.

This morning the hospital told us that they wanted to speak with the sons.
We expected this would be her last day.

In the evening she slowly passed.

She never regained consciousness after the last surgery.

I'm so glad that at least death was kind to her.


  1. My prayers are with you and your family.

  2. Love this post... Take care...

  3. How sad. May she find peace now.

  4. Great posting,my prayers are with you and the family.

  5. Too bad she didn't escape earlier in her life. She may have been all together different. My prayers are with you.
    Thanks for visiting Grampys Place. Glad you like the new setup.

  6. She was blessed to have had you there her last days. I am sorry for her pains and yours. I hope writing this gave you a sense of closure and peace. You conveyed much in a few words. Hugs.

  7. May she rest in piece. Anyway, thanks for the nice comment to my blog. I like it.

  8. May God give place her soul in peace.

  9. this is so beautifully written. so poetic in its sadness.

  10. Wonderfully written and so touching. I could feel the sadness of this tragic event.
    I hope she has found peace at last. In the end she put out her hand to make a link after all that time.

  11. I'm so sorry for your families loss. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. This is one of the most outstanding posts I have read anywhere. Please keep in mind that her sufferings are now over, and look forward to when you can see joy on her face instead of pain.

    Be assured that I have it on good authority that it will indeed happen. Perhaps I am being deceived again, but I do not want to believe it.

  13. Laane, I love your writing and thank you for your interest in my blog. I hope England will be eventful, in fact I know it will be. From how you present your blog, I think you are an artist too. Expect me here often :).

  14. My condolences. I too would like to think that at the last, she tried to mend bridges.

  15. So Sad, May God place her soul in peace now.


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