Thursday, April 30, 2009

baked eggs a la our way

april 30 2009

Take eggs and break them into a bowl.
Add a pinch of salt.
Add a few eating spoons of water.
Stir with a fork.

Take a baking pan.
melt a little piece of butter,
spread it to cover the bottom and side.

Put in the egg mixture.
Use a wooden baking spatula and whipe the eggstuff from the bottom.
Keep doing so until the eggs are crumbled, dry and ready.

To make it taste better.
Start with slowly heating sliced unions until they're almost see-through.
Then add eggmixture.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

fundraising results

april 29 2009

I've made two paid posts for a total of 9.50

Yes, it's a shame that bloggers are used this way.
The blog was ungoogled and advertisers consider a blog with rank 0 as not worth anything.

Well, two got more than they paid for.

No contributions at all from readers. Let's blame the recession.

So 9.50 will go to an autism cause of my choice at may 1.

Thank you for putting up with the fundraising square.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

awareness at what cost?

april 28 2009

Some people say I shouldn't write about the problems I experience with my sons, because it makes it more difficult for them to keep their spirits up.

Recognizing the same problems they're facing (or even worse) makes them realize their family is far from normal too.

I can understand that looking in a mirror hurts.
And I'm sorry if I'm triggering pain.

But I've been told that writing about the problems I'm facing with the boys has also made some parents seek help. Some children have been diagnosed because of my blog. They're receiving treatment now.

These are two sides of the same coin.

Today I've been with my autistic son (nr4) to a centre where they provide daycare and guidance to a job.
When we were there we felt the openness, the rest and the pleasure of people working together.
Suddenly my son of 16 was not a stranger between people anymore.

He'll be accepted there when he wants to go there and all paperwork is done.

I have to convince the council representative that we've found the right path in life for him.
Ofcourse she'll start telling me he needs to go to school and will present again all her legal blabla.
But after more than a year we still haven't found him a proper place in a school, and I know we'll never find that place.

He deserves to find happiness, deserves to be between people who accept him the way he is.
When he wants to learn for a schooldiploma he can always do so by using written courses.

In his case I'm convinced life has enough lessons to teach.
Let them be taught gently.

Let's hope that after more than a year of threatening us with legal action these council representatives will finally see the light of autism awareness.

I'm tired of fighting them.

Monday, April 27, 2009

My monday

april 27 2009

Today was a strange day.

My oldest finished two exams with success!
I expected him here late in the afternoon, but he turned up just after lunch.
We had a nice time chatting and I cut his hair.
Wow! He looked so nice afterwards.
The girls were full of compliments.

My autistic son (nr 4) had a haircut too.

One left, and one done last week.

I've spend the evening setting up twitter for the Dutch autism site.
Tried to get all newspapers and a lot of TV programs in the list.

Answered a lot of questions about autism.

Working on some lectures.

Now my eyes are almost square....

Sunday, April 26, 2009

autism and plans for action

It's vacation here.
So all the children are at home.

Yesterday was not a very pleasant experience as my autistic son kept moaning and complaining.
My mistake.
I'd forgotten to give him his meds the evening before.

I know some people are against medication for autistic children, but he needs it.
A few months he did without, refused to take them and it was hell.
He asked to start again.

Today the shopping centre had a special event.
The shops aren't open every sunday here. Just at special occassions.
Because the program said there would be goodybags, my autistic son wanted to go with the girls and his father.

I was OK with that.
Finally some moments to vacuum the room and stairs without people around.

They were back earlier than expected.
It was far too crowded.
The music was so loud that they couldn't speak with each other.
And the goodybags were only for people who forced their way through the crowds.

Well, we had a package of cookies that were almost over date.
Together with a bottle of cola light it did wonders.
(No this isn't a sponsored post. LOL!)

I've decided to use this week to set up an organisation for autism.
Well, in fact I did some work in the past, like setting up a site, getting in contact with some people, gathering research material and especially: reading, reading, reading.

Now plans need to be made for a proper launch, I need to prepare to give lectures, and I need sponsoring.
Which is a real problem in this country. Ugh!

The combination with my family is not the best one.
It limits my freedom tremendously.

But something needs to be done.

What do I say?

A lot needs to be done!!!!

Maybe I can combine my visit to england in July with meeting people in england who are active for autism too.
It's the week after july 11.

Let me know.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Little Less Conversation

April 25 2009

1. If you could have just one more conversation with a person from your past, who would it be?

Well, I would love to talk with my dad and my gram, but I would only miss them more afterwards.

So I'd probably chose SD.
My oldest son is named after him, and I've never been able to tell him.
We lost contact, and when I finally traced him, I was one day too late.
He had died.

When you mean a person who is still alive, I would want to talk to H.v. Laake.
He was a good friend from University, and it would be nice to share some memories and see how I feel about him now.
I'm curious how he looks like.
He lived in Oregon, but has disappeared....??

2. Do your friends tend to be male or female?

I've had female friends, but I had not enough time and money for shopping and other things female friends are supposed to do. So, looking back, I feel those friendships were rather one sided.

I have one very dear friend, male friend, left.
We don't speak each other often, but that's not necessary.
He's terribly ill and I don't think he will be here a lot longer.

3. What is in your car’s trunk?

We don't have a car!!!!

4. What was the last CD that you purchased?

In a CD shop?
That is ages and ages ago. I don't know.
The last one is probably one I bought at the library.
They sell old CD's for one euro.
Hmmm...think it was an african one... about 7 or 8 years ago.

5. What is your favorite movie and why?

Out of Africa.
Because it describes my experience with love, it represents the way our relationship was the best. And I love Africa. Even though I've never been there.

6. If you could wake up with a new talent tomorrow, what would it be?

Never thought about that.

I was never good in painting. Was ridiculed at school because I even couldn't make clouds.

A new talent....

Maybe it's better my talents were recognized and used.

So I guess I need the talent to care less for the feelings of others and start using my talents.
That's not a talent, isn't it?
It would take away one of my characteristics to care for the children.

I would want the talent to make my sites into real money generating sites without losing the content.
That way I can buy what's needed to use my talents.

7. What is your favorite day of the week and why?

My favorite day is the day nothing happens.
No ill letters or mail, kids behaving well, nature is friendly, and I feel relaxed.

God stopped creating days when he was tired. So there's no day for me.

8. What are you wearing when you feel you’re at your best?

Depends where I am.
On which part of me is in use that that moment.

At home I like soft trousers and a T-shirt,
but when I'm visiting a ballet performance I can dress up like a diva. Especially when I'm among former students. I love theatre and I love to get the attention when the attention isn't directed to someone else.

9. When was the last time cried?

When I last cried?

Yesterday evening when I won a book at my first twitterchat.
I was soooooo tired of all the problems and of the people who fail doing their job, resulting in problems for my children.
It's like I'm always fighting to make people aware they should deal with knowledge and feeling with people with autism. I'm always just the mom of children with special needs and they act as they have all the power of the earth, and like they know best.

I was so tired!

Then I was following a twitterchat about RDI (relationship development intervention).
I'm interested in it, because it resembles very much what I'm doing with my family and try to do with the people around them.
Because they also train professionals I thought that maybe I could train too, so I would be able to enter the workmarket doing something I'm really good at.
Well, that meant such a tremendous amount of money, I won't be able to take that from my family.

So I cried...

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Read more about it here.

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Friday, April 24, 2009

Some good news about my autistic son

april 24 2009

Yesterday I got a mail from the commission that has to decide whether my autistic son (4th son, Kanner Autism) can get a chance to apply for a place in an auti-class at a school for hearing-impaired children.

He has to show a huge lack of communication skills.
He doesn't.

So I'll report that to the council representative who wants him to go there.

I have to say it was a huge relief when it was clear he won't be admitted. (Unless that councilwoman bends the law.)

The conversation I had with one of the coordinators at the school was pleasant and very friendly. Her experience was that the council representative "doesn't know a lot."
We agree on that. LOL!

Today I got a mail back from the person who is an intermediary between my autistic son (Kanner Autism) and a protected daycare/workenvironment.
Next Tuesday we're going to have a look at that place.
My son is very enthousiastic to go and so am I.

Already I see days I can do something really substantial in the house, like painting their room.
I never can. because he's at home all the time.

That the choice for the protected environment is a good one is something that shows in his behaviour.

For the first time in his life he went to the shops on his own, and bought a cheap game in the sales.

Right at this moment I feel happy about that.
He's almost 17 and I think he's supported more by teaching him real life skills, than teaching him maths, economics and history.

I'm sure the council representative doesn't agree with me but I bet she has children that sneak to the shops and buy themselves energydrinks and chewing gum whenever they have a few spare pennies.
Dealing with autism means making the right choices for your child.
Every skill needs loads of motivational effort, loads of practice and even now my son is able to buy things in a small shop on his own, it doesn't mean he will be able to do so next month or go out this afternoon to buy a bread.

Why not?

This morning he knew exactly what he wanted.
He's been there yesterday, and picked the game to buy.

Bread needs to be bought at another shop, and it means making the decision which bread to chose from a lot of different ones.
It means other people, a different counter, other noises and other lights and smells.
Even the feeling within himself might be different.

Added it all up, it's to him a completely different experience and the outcome might be far different from what we wish for.

That's autism for him, and me, and our whole family.

This month I'm fundraising for autism,
but who cares?.
Want to advertise on my blog?

Read more about it here.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

I'm devastated.

april 23 2009

My second son applied to become a pupil at a school for individual learning.
The oldest is studying there too, and he'd done more than he ever did during all his years at a regular school.

Because me second son has a kind of schoolfobia we thought it best for him to apply there.
(He's a very nice person, with just a bit of autism. Not much. But the schoolfobia is killing his future.)

But...bad luck... we got a person to deal with who told me she knows all about autism and showed a complete lack of understanding from the first moment we met each other.
Before I realized we clashed, just because she couldn't accept his problems with autism.

From my oldest son I've heard my second son would be admitted (he overheard people talking), but this morning I got the concept of a mail which should have gone to someone else stating he would be rejected.

I'm furious!

She's so stupid she can't even send a mail to the proper person!!
She didn't even bother to send us a proper letter!
She also made a mistake ordering the course my son needed.

I am soooo angry!!! I have no words.

He needs a study or work to be able to live in a special facility.
We expect him to be admitted by the organization which provides living arrangements near our house, but far enough to give us some air.

He's ready to live away from us, but now that school rejects him he probably will be rejected to live at that facility too.

All I need is a photographer to be his tutor, or some long distance school we can pay.
That's the only way we're able to get him in that special living facility.

I'm devastated!!

He's still asleep....

So I have to get my act together before I see him.

This month I'm fundraising for autism
but who cares?

Read more about it here.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Entrecard is dying. Only paying elite survives? (sticky post)

New post under this one

april 21 2009

I was twittered about the changes in the forum of entrecard.

You need to have 400 paid ads to be able to access the forum.
So new members are not welcome at all. Ugh!

It's unclear to me whether they mean with paid ads: dollar paid ads or EC paid ads.
As it's completely open to intepretation and I can't find a way to register with more than 600 ec paid ads, I assume paid ads are dollar paid ads for entrecard, because all ads used to be paid for with muscle work.

Because there's no way to react, I wrote a reaction in the entrecard blog.

But as freedom of speech is restricted I'm posting here my reply too, and I'll ad an interesting thought

My reaction:

Well Graham and team.

Now the forum is closed for those who are not able to pay for EC’s I’m proved right in that it’s only money you’re interested in.

It’s even more interesting because the freedom of speech is limited.

“The rules for the new structure will be:
You must be an entrecard member.
You must have purchased 400 ads
The only all user area will be community support. Anything that is not a valid community support thread will be deleted.
From here forward there will be no bashing of any kind.”

You’re mistaking a real interest to keep entrecard alive for bashing?

Well, some people can’t deal with honesty.

(end of blogcomment)

I wonder how long non paying members will be allowed in the system.

When I organized the strike and made the squares (available at Blogbacktime) I didn't expect to see so many people thinking the same as I.
It's surprising to see the squares at so many blogs.

The way Graham has organized the payout system I don't think I'll ever be able to cash out my EC's.
I hoped I could, because it would have been a nice push for my autism fundraising of this month.
But I don't think my hard earned EC's are worthy more than my own pride that I pushed that dropbutton so many times that my shoulder and arm were hurting.

So I was thinking that maybe we could have a proper goodbye to the system and to our EC's.

Why not spend all our EC's on advertisements this week? (Start with the cheaper ones.)
I wonder what will happen when we don't drop and all our ads, even when shown only 50%, will clutter the system.

otherwise they'll just erase your ads and everything with it.
Just leave your account as it is and let the ads run.
There's no need to chose a date, because ads take their time to run and the more people are spending their EC's the longer the waitinglist will be. That doesn't matter.

What do you think?

Don't forget to leave your url for my blogrol at Blogbacktime

lots of extra work! Trying the positive look.

april 22 2009

Just taking a break with a cup of coffee.

Today the heating control will take place.

The "commando centre" is at the attic in a small room behind a door.
The door is in the middle of a wall.
I'm sure it hasn't been a woman who designed this house.

I need the space at the attic, so there's always something standing in front of the door there.
And to prevent the boys from going to the attic and make a mess there (I've learned the bad way), the stairs are full of little things.

So that all needs to be put away.

Added to it that they need a lot of space in the bathroom because there's the radiator from which we can steer the "commando centre". So I have to empty that too.

Well, I try to take it as a good chance for a springcleaning, but I'm not happy.

His father is with my autistic boy now, trying to keep him calm.
All those changes are a real fuse to make his temper explode, and I can't cope with that at the moment.
His father is taking him out of the house, promising him a game.
When they're away I can take a go at the last things at the attic.
I'll put them in the boys room, and shut the door.
After that I'll clean the bathroom, vacuum what's needed and wait for the repairmen.

When they're gone I'll take my time to rearrange things at the attic, which will be easier with part of the stuff gone.
I'll take out the summerclothes, hang them outside to air, and start putting back things, including the winterclothes.

Today I have plenty of time, because the little parts are at the girls' room and they have dinner with school outside town.
Couldn't be planned better!
No homework to overlook, 4 feet less walking in the house.

I hope to be ready with the boys room before my autistic son comes home.
All he'll find is a clean bed, clean desk, and summerclothes instead of winterclothes.
That's enough for him to cope for a day.

Well, I'm off again to get things done.


Monday, April 20, 2009

Trip to London?

april 20 2009

The oldest has to go to a convention or something like that and asked me to go with him.

It's from july 9 to 13 or 14.

And it's to London!

I said "yes" immediately.
Before he told me we would sleep in a 4 bedded room (so with two unknown people), and before two of the boys here had a serious row. Ugh.

I'm seriously in doubt whether I'm able to leave this family alone for a few days.

Ofcourse I want to go!

I love England.

I've stayed in England with my dad when I was twelve, visiting the family he stayed with during WW2 when he was in the RAF, and traveling through the whole country, including Wales and the south of Scotland.
I felt so at home.

First I thought it was just a young girl's romantic feeling, but when we went back a few years later I felt just the same.

We never went back again.

I intended to go with my children to england when they would be 12, but it never happened, because we didn't have the money.
Now I'm asked to accompany a group of young people with Asperger Syndrome. No traveling- and hotel costs, and a day all for myself at the 11th.

I thought about planning a meeting with online friends who want to see me that day or
going somewhere out of London by train.
But then I read about the London Bridge Festival. So maybe I'll stay in London after all.

When I go....

When I'm able to go........

Manic Monday #164

april 20 2009

Describe to me your favorite lounging clothes.

Do you mean by lounging relaxing?
I don't have special times to relax, neither do I have a special garderobe for that.
I wonder whether parents with autistic children ever lounge. Unless they have servants ofcourse. Which I don't.

I call it crashing.
When I have a minute, I just crash in the clothes I wear at the moment.
I don't have special crashing clothes either.

If you promised to never lie again in your lifetime, in what area would it be hardest to uphold the promise?

Well, I don't lie often, because I have enough on my mind already. Can't keep up which lie I told to whom. LOL!
But a white lie to make people feel good about they new hairdo, OK, I know them.
So not doing that would be the hardest.

Give a one word answer to the question "why is life worth living".

The girls are between staying in this house and running away.
They're my reason of living.
Sorry everyone else.....

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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Susan Boyle and Cry me a River

april 18 2009

No need to introduce her.

But for those who haven't seen her:

She's a down to earth Scottish woman with a twinkling in her eye that makes you smile.
She's the perfect example of the way many deal with other people in such a way that they won't even recognize the Messias when He's right in front of them.
She looks like a normal woman who has more to do in her life than look posh and perfect.
And she has the Scottish stubbornness not to change it for the world, and I love her for that.

She amazed everyone who are guided by the looks of people with her voice and her talent.
Mind you, she participated in a talent discovery contest, not in a contest for professional singers.

One of my favorite songs is "Cry me a River".
I've sang it a thousand times, and I love the version Nina Simone sang when she lived here in town.

I still do, but there's another version I love to bits.

That's the one Susan Boyle sang in 1999.


Everyone is allowed to have his or her own opinion.
But I won't allow comments which are an expression of complete disrespect to people who are not wearing the latest hair fashion or haute couture.

I've always told my autistic boys that everyone has a talent, regardless of class, religion or level of autism.
Some of the children feel discouraged by the way society deals with non average people.
They feel pushed aside by people who are able to live up to the expectations, because they try so hard and they can't always accomplish what they want.

Susan Boyle is an example for them.
She kept believing in herself, and she won't change because people say she should.
She's herself.

Thank you Susan!

A new battle against the system - autism and school

april 18 2009

The building was huge and old.
The large door opened to the outside.
The hall was such a mix of old and modern additions, that it gave me a feeling the present time was camping in the old.

In the waitingroom I could almost hear the building tell it's history.

Not too long after that I was telling the history of my autistic son.
Knowing it, and explaining it to someone relatively unknown is a different thing.
Living through it creates a kind of rooms of experiences.
But now it became tremendously clear how many mistakes people made, how many wrong decisions we faced and how many people simply didn't care enough.

My son doesn't need these people.
He needs people who care, people who are willing to see his good characteristics, instead of that he's not fitting in the normal system, instead of seeing he's not average.

The choice we are making is a good one.
I know it, I feel it, and the person in front of me told me with tears in her eyes that he will find people who are focused on what someone can, instead on pointing out what he can't.

It's a socalled protected environment, where he's able to work and learn.
A kind of therapeutical environment, where he will be assessed and experiences will be created so he can practice new behaviour in a real life situation.

I was there two whole hours!
Someone listened to me.

It made me realize how much I'm driven to find the best for my son.
How little I pay attention to my own feelings and just push them aside to go on and on and on.

When I finally left she promised to make an appointment for us to have a look at the place we've chosen.

The heavy door closed after me and I faced the blossoming trees in the warm sun.

Because the council representative is still forcing my son to go to school, I took care of another matter in the afternoon.

There's no place in the auti-class he should be, and she finally accepts that he won't get a place there. (Took her a complete year to be convinced of that, whereas we were told by that school they wouldn't take him because there's no place.)

Last week she suddenly wrote us a letter stating that he should go to a school for deaf and hearing impaired children. They have an auti-class there too.

I saw what she was doing.
She's convinced he's able to get his diploma.
That school filters the students. They send those with a chance of a diploma to a special school in another town.
She tried to get him to that school in another town before, but this was rejected by his psychiatrist, because he can't travel that much.

This woman thinks she knows better than psychiatrists and parents. She doesn't. Pity she doesn't realize that.

I called the school a few times this week and finally got hold of the person in charge.
To show my good attitude I made an appointment.

Then I said:
"There's just one question that needs to be answered before the meeting.
Does my son needs to be seen by a special commission to get him admitted to your school?
Does he need to have hearing impairment or a speech/language problem?"

The answer was a full "YES".

But my son doesn't have hearing problems, doesn't have a problem communicating due to lack of words, or a lack of understanding.
He's autistic. Simply autistic. And that's it.

We friendly cancelled the appointment.
She told me to call her when there would be problems.
And I put down the phone with a large grin on my face.


Now we need to convince that lady my son needs to go to the facility we've chosen.

That means that a whole procedure will be started in which we are dependent upon all people supporting us.

There's one person who really needs to be tackled.
The socalled independent doctor if the council.
The person who doesn't have a clue who our son is, or who we are, but who prevented him to go this way a year ago.

She said he was able to attend a school.

Not only there isn't one, but my son is not able to deal with the social structures of a school.
He can't deal with the noise, with the tasks he needs to accomplish, with whatever.
His last time at school was a fiasco because of this.
The problems it caused for him (regression, traumas) and caused for us (full time one to one making him change his mind so he would go to school against all his thoughts, feelings and fears...I don't want to go there again. I don't want my family to go there again.

So the battle is open again.
I have to beat the system once again.

Starting next week.

This month I'm fundraising for autism
and I really, really need your participation too.

Read more about it here.


Tootired to blog now.

april 18 2009

I'm too tired to blog, but tomorrow I'll give and update about the meeting for today and about an interesting telephone call I made.

Friday, April 17, 2009

comment policy

april 17 2009

I don't know why, but the past 3 days my blog is attacked by people who think they should leave commercial comments and comments about certain blue substances which should be available at doctor's prescription only.

In the left sidebar (on the right), you can find my comment policy.

So you know why I have deleted all your comments.

Keep on commenting this way, so we're know where you are and that you're not on the streets.

As long as I can drop, I can delete too.

Oh, and thanks for getting my stats up!

Food 4 Thought Friday

april 17 2009

When you need alone time do you have a favorite spot you like to go to?

Who says I can go somewhere when I need alone time?
I don't have any favorite spots to go to anymore, because alone time is stolen from the night.
Alone is just here, when everyone is to bed.
Nothing special.

What is your favorite GUM, STORE BOUGHT COOKIE, and SALTY SNACK

I'm a diabetic, so I'm very hard trying to have no favorites in that area.
(Whispering: chocolate chips cookies..)

Do you speak any other languages?

  • English and German,
  • French,
  • understanding OK, speaking mediocre: of Swedish and Italian,
  • Spanish, Swahili
Midnight Snack
Have you ever been on TV?

Several times. When I was young as a singer, later as a ballet dancer and after that for interviews.
(Arghhh!!! Now I want to have my own talkshow!!!)

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?)

Say with me:

This month I'm fundraising for autism.
Read more about it here.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Being tired from autism

april 16 2009

Making appointments is such a pain!

Had one today with my autistic boy to meet his social worker for the first time.
I saw it coming when he didn't want to shave his beard yesterday: he's ill today.
He sounds ill, but I've learned that part of it is his autism speaking.

I skipped Tai Chi this morning (again, yes), to be able to have a relaxed morning before leaving.
We could have prepared quietly.

Instead I asked his social worker whether she wanted to change to appointment or wanted to speak me alone.
She wanted to change it.

Well, I could have done with a listening ear. But, hej, it's not about me.

Tomorrow I'm having an appointment with someone else about him going to a kind of daycare where he can learn simple skills.
It's a protected environment, as they call it.
Let's see if they're willing to take him...

Because my son has been to school the council representative thinks he should go to school again. I wish she listened to us, instead of playing the same record over and over again without taking the wellbeing of my son as her concern.
When he's placed in a situation that frightens him, he withdraws. I can't keep spending all my energy anymore each day to make him go to a place he's unhappy and afraid off. What does she want? That I do all his homework? That I put him full of sedatives to make him go to school?
Why won't she understand what it takes to make him feel OK again when he comes home?
Why doesn't she understand how much it takes to motivate him to go to school? Each day over and over again?
I'm feeling despair here. Fighting the same wall over and over again.

He needs a place where he feels safe, and where he can enjoy what he does. Maybe he'll take on more and he'll develop further there.


As I wrote last week, the new school for my second son is not the success we hoped for.
The school's OK, but his mentor is one with an ego. She thinks she knows everything about autism, and she doesn't even wants to accept the basics.
We asked her to step back and have someone else mentor him; twice.
But all we managed to do is have her agree to a meeting with a psychologist, my sons social worker and us.
Problem is they're all parttimers and the meeting will be held somewhere in may!! We still don't have a date.

This is not in the best interest of my son.

I've asked to lay the matter on the table of her teamleader. Wonder whether she does. Don't think so.

After 20 years dealing with schools this way, I'm so tired of it all.

I've met some good people along the way, but they were individuals. A breath of fresh air.
For the rest it was fighting for understanding.
So many people have told me they knew what autism is, but what it means for my kids... they didn't understand at all.

I don't think I'll manage to celebrate my 25th anniversary "autism and school".
There are plenty of years with that theme left, unless they let go of wanting to force my autistic kid to school. (I hope they do.) But I don't want to fight against stupidity much longer. I'm too tired, and my health is deteriorating.

When they grew up I used all my skills and knowledge as a psychologist to help my kids develop themselves.
I hardly had some time for myself.

They are all able to look people in the eyes, make some smalltalk, cook, and express themselves to a certain extend. To give some examples.
But because they know how to behave themselves, people think they can live up to all the other expectations of society too.

I want to climb on a roof and yell: THEY CAN'T!!

They can't adjust to society further, otherwise I would have managed to teach that to them, one way or another.

Maybe it's time again to make a leaflet for each one of the kids, to state what they're able to and what the limitations are. (I did so in the past to inform new teachers.)
A kind of final statement, for people to take or not to take.

I don't want to be told I'm the one to blame, because I gave all I had.
Never had any proper help, just a few meds for the kids, and loads of appointments with people. Except for one or two, they didn't make a difference in the end.

I need a break, and I need to use my talents far better than I do now.

Hell, I should speak for large audiences about the many forms autism presents itself.
How one can run a family with 4 or less autistic kids, and normal kids as well.
I should answer all sorts of questions people have.

I should final have some proper acknowledgement!


Someone asked last week how I keep on going.
Well, maybe this post made that clear.
I can be depressed, tired and everything else, but life goes on.
The world doesn't stop turning because I'm burned out, or because I want my family to disappear in the clouds for a couple of days.

I don't have the money to go shopping, to put a family caretaker in the house to have a break myself. No skying, no sunbathing either.
I just have to tell myself things need to be done to improve things for others and that maybe I'm the one who should do that.
I can't believe I'm here in this life to be buried between 4 walls, in a family all my life, between the dust, the laundry and all the problems people create.

When I was able to blog a bit for money I would buy myself a nice pendant on ebay. Or some earrings, or something like that.
Now I just have to deal with the present, and leave the future alone whenever possible.

A bit of music, a bit of staying in touch with the person I really am and could have become.

It's like walking the the desert.
You can either blame the sun for burning on you, or thank it for the light.
At least I can see the poisonous insects in the light.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

monday mood at tuesday

april 14 2009

The easterdays were rather quiet, partly due to the perfect weather, so some of the kids could go outside to play and skateboard.
Oh, and the chocolate eggs helped too. LOL!

Yesterday morning I woke up very early, and the birds were singing with so much force, it was really amazing.
I could hear some calling to others and get answers.
Some were nearby, and one even looked into the bedroom.
More than even I wanted to have a gardenhouse and sleep there.

Within two days the garden has developed from a place of despair (will it ever become a place where plants and flowers grow?) to a green oasis with yellow flowers.
It's beautiful!

Everything is alive again, apart from the very, very old appletree which finally gave in to winter. I don't mind, because it was so old it attracted all sorts of pests.
The two new appletrees are blossoming well, so let's hope we'll get a few apples this year.

I'm a bit in doubt whether to plant the lettuce seeds now or wait a bit.
The container is ready... so may be I'll take the chance.
It's almost 20 years ago I grew lettuce in the garden. I stopped when the animals had to be taken from the fields when the fallout of Tsjernobil was blown this direction.

I'm trying to hold on to the feeling of the past days, because real life is looking around the corner already.

I have a whole list of things to do.
  1. oldest son: meeting with his counsellor
  2. second one: large and important meeting with people at his new school, including his social worker, a psychologist, and the most ignorant mentor I've ever met.
    It's a school where they form the curriculum to the needs of the pupil, but she wants it to be like she wants it. She doesn't want, or can't, understand his autism, and she wants him to stop studying. (He went there once....let's be clear!)
    She refused to step back when I asked her, so now he needs to go.
    I want her to admit that she's not able to support him and I want her to step back.
  3. third son: needs to restart studies and working after being ill and burned out.
    He's waiting for a neurological exam because of suspected epilepsy.
  4. son with classical autism (the rest is at a different part of the spectrum):
    Last week the councilwomen started her actions again to force my son to school. See here.
    He can't deal with a large social system a school is.
    We were busy to find him a place where he can learn to work at his own level and which leaves the future open enough for him to get individual education. (He needs to be 18 for that).
    So I keep on getting him admitted to that place and I have to find a way to convince that councilwoman for the last time that he can't go to school.
  5. Some family matters need to be taken care of. Not pleasant.
I think I have to give up tai chi, because I'm too tired to go.
It's too early in the morning.

Oh, and I have to run a family of 8.
Anyone wants to do the laundry?

Oops! I'm blogging here in a quiet mood, dreaming about the beautiful garden... and I have to get three loads of laundry on the line...NOW!


Manic Monday #163

april 14 2009

One day late because of easter.

Do you recycle? Why or why not?

Yes. We have to and I want to.
We recycle:
  • paper
  • glass
  • tins
  • fabric and clothes
  • vegetable- fruit- and plantwaste
  • chemical waste
  • furniture

Would you rather be a pirate or a prince/princess?

Neither of them, to be honest.
I don't like the illegal part of piracy, nor do I want to be in the spotlights all the time.
I also feel uncomfortable with the thought that I would have everything to eat, a far too large roof over my head, while others have to strugggle.
I would enjoy it for a short while, maybe. But that's it.

Are you into astrology? If yes, how does it affect your life?

I'm not much "into astrology".
But I have to believe something of it, because I'm one of those freedom loving aquarians.
Maybe we're more under the influence of astrology than I know.
But I'm not studying it.

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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter, you and nature

Happy Easter to all of you.

I want to thank all my commenters,
droppers and all who wished me and my family
a happy Easter.

Without you all I would feel very lonely on this planet.

Yesterday evening I wanted to put up this post, but I was forced offline because the evening became strangely dark.
Clouds were gathering right over our head.

One of the boys called me outside.
There was a slight rumbling all over the sky,
and against black clouds we could see grey ones streaming through each other.

I recognised this from when I was young,
had a look where the most clouds were coming from and ran inside,
switched the computer off while calling everyone else to unplug their euipment and ran upstairs to wake up the girls and get them downstairs.

Then I went outside again.
It wasn't raining yet. No smell of rain either.
Rumbling was all over and a strange tension was in the air.

The boys, who were with friends, came inside too.

Just when I wanted to turn and walk inside I looked towards town and there was a huge beam of lightning writing a g in the sky and them went straight down, hitting something.

I waited for the sound, but there was a strange silence. Even the bird nearby was just sitting there.
Then a large bang sounded and I grasped my ears.
Never done that before during bad weather.

A few minutes later the rain started with enormous intensity. Ugh!

We all sat in the livingroom, talking.

Through the curtain we saw a red beam of lightning coming down and it struck not too far from here. Just a few hundred meters.

When the bad weather was over, I had a look and told them to stay put.

When the clouds come in from a certain place, the bad weather will return, and so it did.

Another lightning struck in and soon after the boys got messages on their mobile phones from friends who were near the place where it hit. One of them kept a hissing sound in his ears until now.

When finally this natural display of power was over the kids went to bed and I stayed up for a while.

The bad weather returned again, but less powerful, without hits.

When it came again, I fell asleep.

We're living between two rivers, a canal and an area with lot of water too.
Bad weather that comes in from a certain place, gets caught between the two rivers.
Only once I've witnessed it to return over and over again. That was when I was young and staying with my gram.

In a way it's good to witness how powerful nature is.
It places all our human problems into perspective: the wrong colour of paint, my glasses not ready for Easter, not being able to keep up with all the work.
We all have each other, and that's what counts.

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You can download them at Blogbacktime.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

The never ending story - starts again

april 11 2009
At december 17 2008 I wrote: It's never ending, I fear.

Well, this week a letter came and it was like a hand slapped me in the face:
She, the council representative (I don't know a name in english. But all she does is harras parents and force kids to go to school and when they don't they are brought to court.)...
so she wrote me a letter and said that she spoke about my son anonymously at a school for deaf and hearing impaired kids.

The anonymously was placed there to keep me calm, because I almost suit her for using my sons name when talking with another school, and I mailed all those who had been informed about my sons situation that it was without my consent and they should erase his name from all files, notebooks etc.

That might seem a bit strange, but after all the problems we have had with people talking about my son, making decisions, without any knowledge about autism and about him I was fed up with dealing with the consequences of their stupidity.

In the letter she stated that she found out that that school for hearing impaired children had an autism class and she had spoken with the principal and they were willing to take him.

I said there for a moment in complete silence.

Now she's got me... already in 1986 I had a discussion with my professor of clinical psychology stating that the communicating difficulties between autistic and hearing impaired children might be different, but their intelligence is OK and they all experience distance to the world. Maybe it would be it would be wise to conduct research into the matter.
It might be that hearing impaired children and mild to moderate autistic kids would benefit from the same style of education.
(I was told I was too early thinking that and I'd better come back 20 years later.)

A bit of reading on the site of the school made clear that there are two curriculums.
  1. one for kids who are able to graduate with a diploma. They will be brought back in the regular educational system. (Yep, the one my autistic son couldn't deal with.)
  2. one for kids that ned either something to keep them busy during the day and for kids that are able to work in one way or another.
Well, as my son had huge problems with schools, because there were too many disturbing impulses, I don't feel happy with him being forced to go into the same social structure again.
He has proved that he couldn't deal with it, and I'd rather not want us all to go again through all the problems.
For example: I had to motivate him in the mornings to make him go to school. It took about 2 hours of brainwashing each day. In the end it not only took en enormous emotional toll on both of us, I also considered it a kind of abuse. (And I had no attention for the other kids. They always went to school from a house in motion.)
On top of it we all had to deal with the emotional consequences of being in an environment he couldn't understand and deal with.
He always came home angry and with a chaotic mind.
I had to help him to understand the behaviour of other people, had to clear up misunderstandings (to the other people too), had to calm him. Then I had the struggle to motivate him to do his homework. Part of it needed my attention, because for instance reading a larger piece of text or a book was almost impossible. He was not able to grasp the emotional content, not able to grasp that certain consequences could be anticipated etc etc.

I can't do it anymore.

And I don't think it should be done.

I'm sure he has talents somewhere hidden, and all the time he was not going to school (for over a year now) I've been trying to motivate him to do things out of line of his usual activities.

Turned out he's great at baking fish. Perfect spicing, just perfect.
I'm not the one here in the house who does that job. He does.

When a program was on TV about kids with down syndrome and other mental conditions he was suddenly very talkative and he took an honest interest in them.
When he saw one of them going to work in a restaurant, a special project to enable those kids to develop their abilities, he said he wanted something like that too.

So I contacted his social worker and were in the process of having him admitted to a small restaurant which is a protected learning environment for young people.

Here he will be supported on an individual basis. The aim is to find him a working place where he can earn his own money.

So in the end the result is the same as the second curriculum of that school.
But the way he reaches that result will be smooth and with respect for what he can do and can't. And it will be far less interfering with the lives of all the other family members.

I'm sure that councilwoman will want a fight about this, because she wants to stick to the law that all kids need to go to school, and she ignores the needs of kids with special needs.
Our town has the lowest rate of educational drop outs, but it's at the costs of families like ours.
I've spoken with so many parents which were forced to put their kids in an institution where they forced their children to go to school. Ofcourse those kids weren't able to get a diploma and they even ended up in lower jobs than they would have had otherwise, because they were far more emotional withdrawn due to the abuse in the institution.
I've seen so many many.

I want people to respect my kids.
Not only those who are considered "normal", but also those who are dealing with autism.

I don't want my son to be used to get the statistics of this town to the top of the list.

I want my son to get the chance to develop himself in the way that is best for him.
Developing talents and being content is of more importance, than earning money.
To be made into a robot is not what I want for my kid. I want him to learn that to develop himself feels good in such a way, that he'll be able to grasp opportunities.

So, unless this council woman is able to see what's best for him, we're in for a fight again.

I'm planning to do a give-away for autism during the second part of this month.
All help is appreciated.


Enjoying Your Holiday

April 11 2009

1. There are several religious holidays going on this weekend. Any plans?

Special plans would disturb the routine of my autistic kids. (spring itself is enough)
So I celebrate Easter by memorizing the many hours spend listening to and singing in my dads choir.
And there's always a service on TV.

2. Do you look forward to holiday events or do they stress you out?

I just take them how they come.
I wish I could step out of my life and enjoy those days a lot more than I'm able to now.
The only thing that stresses me out now is that Easter eggs are made of chocolate. LOL!

3. Do you have any traditional meals that you will eat?

Like I said in 1, anything that is out of routine is a source for tension and turmoil.
We'll add special soup to one of the regular ones, and we'll have special desert.
Maybe I'll manage to get some fresh asparagus. I'm the only one eating them.

4. We are changing seasons. What are you looking forward to?

The early mornings. Walking outside without coat or cardigan.
The fresh wind, dewdrops, the birds.
I love spring.

5. Around here it is turning to spring. What signals spring to you?

The light green mosaic in the trees, and the springflowers.
(But most of all itching eyes...I'm allergic.)

6. What is your favorite season and why?

I love the start of new life.

7. Do you have a favorite food when dining out?

Dining out...when...where?

I like salmon... smoked salmon...

8. What is your favorite beverage when out?

Port when it's somewhere relaxing and quiet.
Beerenburger, strong and herbal.
And whiskey since I'm a bagpiper. Without water. Water should be in the sea.

9. When is your next big night out?

Presumably in 2012 when it's clear the world hasn't stopped turning. LOL!

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Friday, April 10, 2009

Entrecard droppers on strike: no drops today

april 10 2009

Entrecard Strike
To show the importance of droppers for the entrecard system.
To show entrecard droppers are no second rate entrecarders.
To show we want to have complete control over our own site.
To get equal respect for EC and money paid advertisers.
To prevent the decay of the Entrecard system.

The past months the entrecard bloggers have worked very hard to get and keep the system going.
They earned a maximum of 300 EC's a day for hours of visiting new sites, waiting to load the sites and the widgets and clicking well enough to have the system react.

With the EC's one could buy a place in one (1) widget with an unknown exposure rate. (Prices are mainly above the amount one earns in a day.)

With EC's members could buy small gifts, (like a ring, an avatar) or an internet service.

Most Entrecard members have met new people online, which is the true incentive of the system.

To pay for the costs of the system and to bring monetary gain to The Boss members were not asked for their opinion about how they wanted to contribute to this.

Instead an advertising system was introduced of advertisements from members and people outside the system, with prices so low, that the normal exchange of EC's for exposure fell almost to a standstill.

It was agreed members would keep full control over their widget, but dollars paid ads ran in front of EC paid ads that were approved even weeks before.
And outsider ads were not screened, not subjected to approval by the owners of the sites, so people were confronted with offending sites, sites that put the click-through system to a halt, and sites that were of such low quality that they downgraded the whole system.

In fact the site-owners lost control over their sites.
An approval system was introduced, so it seemed that problems were solved.
But a dollar paid ad was not added to the cue, but displayed immediately.

Many bloggers felt that respect was lost for EC paid advertisements and requested a cue system based on time of approval.
They didn't get it.

There is far more to say about what happened the past week, but I think that the main issue is that The Boss wants to monetise the system.
Site owners are told they'll get 75% of the advertisements income and The Boss will keep 25% to keep the system and himself running.

The way that 75% is brought back to the users of entrecard is not doing justice to those who keep the system running by dropping (= clicking the yellow part of the widget).
To keep people content the variables of an algorithm were published, but it only showed lack of insight in the whole situation.

Members offered to have a two sided widget on their sites, or two separate widgets, one for EC paid advertisements and one for dollar paid advertisements.
This would have solved quite some problems, but without any knowledge about how many people would accept and how many would reject this it was decided Entrecard members wouldn't want that.

All in all this led to the feeling that money is more important than human efforts to keep the system going, and that all decisions are made ad hoc (after the event) and are not put down in a business plan, which is required in many countries to start and run a business like this.
It's clear that Entrecard is not the invention of someone with enough respect for people.

Because we all feel it's a pity that the system goes down, we want to make a statement today.

We won't drop.

We won't use entrecard for clicking the EC paid and dollar paid advertisements, so it will become clear that the system doesn't work properly without normal entrecard droppers.

(I'll will repay those who were on the list for today at my site by displaying their square the rest of the month.)

Like I said, there's far more to the problem, but these are a few important elements.

Get your graphic here. More info ::here::.


calling a strike of entrecard droppers. - sticky post

april 8 2009entrewas

An interesting discussion is going on at the entreblog.

Graham: (The BOSS)

The plan is to give members with the highest ratio of paid ad approvals first dibs on cashing out their credits.

Well, I don't know the word dibs, but I understand the meaning here.

I feel the efforts of the droppers are completely neglected.
And I also feel the loyalty many have for the ads which were approved before the paid ads were introduced is not respected.

Maybe it's a good idea to chose a day we don't drop, so Graham can get an idea how much we mean for the system.
When there are not enough droppers active he can't do enough with his paid advertising.

I'm calling a strike of entrecard droppers!!

Maybe friday is the perfect day for that.

To show the importance of droppers for the entrecard system.
To show we're no second rate entrecarders.
To show we want to have complete control over our own site.
To get equal respect for EC and money paid advertisers.
To prevent the decay of the system.

Get your graphic here.

To be clear: I'm not against contributing towards the continuation of the system. Not at all.
And I'm not against paid advertising.
In fact I'm all for two sided widgets, or even two widgets.
But that someone sees it fit to break an agreement and displays advertisements on my site without my consent really makes me mad.

When we want to keep the system going and all have a good time droppers need to be respected to (by someone in his twneties who's in it for the money. Let's be clear about that.)

Come back on friday to see links to alternative activities. (No ads. LOL!)


This morning I had a different ad in my widget than should be there.
When reloading I got another one; not the one that should be there.
Right now I'm surfing with blogexplosion. Bit of music, cup of coffee.
I'm even able to drop now and then.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

a meeting and a compliment

april 8 2009

Found this morning an unapproved ad running on my site. Hmmppffff.

Had an important meeting with a few people about the studies of my third son.
Just before he got ill one of the management assistant of the shop fired him when he came to work.
He fired him for his regular job and for the practical part of his studies.

But they can only fire a person who he has committed a criminal act when they're at work, for example, but not for being ill. So I asked him for the official council permit he should have in that case, and ofcourse he didn't have one.

What followed was at least very interesting.
People lying to cover their own backs.

For them it was a real problem that I was told a few weeks before that my son was a highly valued co-worker, and that school had an evaluation just a week before and to the mentor it was said my son was doing very well and they were very happy to have him.

A bit of detective work in the matter made very clear who created the whole problem and I was very open about this towards school, and to the top manager.
The last guy didn't like me too much, LOL! Especially not when he told me that he didn't have my sons phone number and I was called at that very same number. LOL!

Ofcourse the guy didn't show up at the meeting.

Just an hour before the meeting I realized that one of the contact persons of school might not have been invited properly, so I called the shop to ask if they knew he would come.
Yes, they did.
So I said goodbye and "see you over an hour".
The guy nearly fainted.
"Are you coming too?"
"Yes, ofcourse, I told you so a while ago."
"But the top manager said you wouldn't come."
(Isn't it interesting they've spoken about me?)

"I've told the top manager I would accompany my son to all meetings until this matter is completely solved, because I'm more aware of the legal consequences of what's happning than you are."

They guy sounded kind of nervous and breathless.

Under normal circumstances I would have taken pity on him, but now I just couldn't.
He's the one who lied at the cost of my son.
It's not that I wanted him to pay for that, but I wanted him to think about it and consider the consequences.

It was fun to see the reactions of the men when we arrived at the meeting.
Many people think a mother of 6 looks like a roadworker on the job, but ofcourse I don't.
I'm dressed OK to my own taste, and even though I'm a day older, the energy is always bubbling when I'm going to a problem solving meeting.

The meeting went fine, and all are able to move forward and have learned from the past.

The contact person from school told me he was amazed by the way things went.

He expected huge problems, lots of emotions and such.
Not a very constructional meeting.

Told him I've been a chairman of different organizations and boards and I'm used to dealing with all sorts of matters and people.

That I'm beyond trying to change people who lie to keep their job, making other people look bad.
That I prepare meetings well by
  1. making a list of subjects I want to talk about
  2. leaving things I can't change either in the past or that I transform them in a goal
  3. that I say what needs to be said as a message and not as a startingpoint for a discussion, unless it should be discussed.
  4. that I set all my goals and that I consider the arguments from all sides
  5. and that I keep as close to what I want as possible.
He smiled.

"So that was a meeting between 2 experienced chairmen... no wonder it went so well."

It has been a long time ago someone gave me a good compliment, you should have seen my big smile when we walked to the bus.

At home I found out that bottles of lemonade were stolen from beside the back door. Grrrrr....
It must have been someone who was following the roofworkers.
Last week we got a letter telling us to keep the gates unlocked. Well, thank you!!!!

And entrecardwidgets hardly loaded properly, so until now I only managed to drop 80.

Add to it a huge discussion about pocketmoney with two of the boys and my day was kind of filled.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

sun, spring and meetings

april 7 2009

Spring is sprinkling itself all over the place.

I've enjoyed the bus ride to a meeting so very much!

It was pure delight to see all sorts of springflowers blooming, the mosaic of light green like a veil over the trees and the grass green again.

Spring is the season I enjoy the most, because the promise of new beginnings comes to life, literally.

At the railwaystation, a lot of noise was caused by one of those machines that equalize the pavement tiles. Because we had time enough we went to the bookstore and had a look around.
By the time we came outside again the noise had gone.

Parking police were busy with controlling bikes.
One of them took a bike from the stands and gave it to a colleague to bring away.

"Ah, I see it's true that the police takes away bikes who are parked at the right place."

He turned towards me, ready for an angry word, but I kept on talking.

"My sons bike was taken away when he was in the racks and he had to pay 25 euro to get it back."

"We only take bikes who have been there for a lot of weeks without being used."

He showed how they sealed bicycles, how they put warnings on the bicycle, and he even showed me the date.

"Your son must have done something wrong. Put it outside the marked area."

"Oh, no. I was there. He put it right where it should be, brought me to the train and returned.
The bike was gone."

"Stolen, I think."

"No. He went to the central contact bureau and he had to pay 25 euro to get it back".

"We never do that, someone else must have put it outside the area."

I looked at him, without saying anything.
It's in the paper so often that people have put their bike at the right place and they take it away.

He felt he needed to say something.

"There's a new parking area for bicycles there." Pointing towards a long street into town.

"Yes. But that's too far away for people like me. Sometimes I can hardly walk and I need parking near the station to be able to go to the train."

"But ma'am, you can go to the council and they can provide a special sign you can put at the back and then you can park everywhere."

I suddenly had a vision of 16.000 students having problems walking to the train and collecting a special permit and parking their bicycles everywhere, like in the old days.
People were much more tolerant and relaxed than they are now.
People smiled more too.

We said goodbye and went to the meeting.

The meeting was pleasant.
My third son is almost recovered from being ill for weeks.
It might have been the sun, but here too people were ready to be kind.
He was told there was no need to redo every hour he missed, but only a small part of it.
He even got help planning.

Tomorrow is a very important meeting at a shop where he worked.
They tried to fire him because he was ill for a couple of days, and I stopped it because I knew the law a bit better than the shopmanagement.

At home I worked in the garden for over an hour, then it started to rain.

During the meeting of tomorrow the plants will be growing because of the rain.
I already knew it won't be fun.
I have a lot of ego-rubbing to do, and I have to outwit at least one person who knows it all.

Well, my son was called on his new cellphone.
They didn't have the number, I was told.

They had, and now I can tell them they have. LOL


Saturday, April 4, 2009

entrecard - another system killing the fun

april 4 2009

I joined entrecard, had fun discovering other blogs and meeting people.

Ofcourse new things on internet these days are all about those who started it: people who want to earn money.

Haloscan, Buzzfuse, Sezwho and many more, seemed to be fun in the beginning but soon killed themselves or were eaten by Google, while we, bloggers, invested time and work to make them great and enable them to run away with the money.

I liked entrecard.
But today a strange system of advertising was started and I feel bored to death while surfing.
Slow loading pages again and so many times the same widget ads, that I'm almost falling asleep.
There's no need to click the same ad for the so-maniest time.
I feel the opportunity to freely surve through the entrecard-web is taken away from me.

The meantime for dropping: 4 and a half minute per drop.
Some drops need 5 times reloading the page before I can drop,
some need 3 times reloading before a drop is registered.

I've been bothered by 4 advertisements.
1 about a site I like
1 about a site I dislike because it's rather negative
2 moneymaking sites

The consequences of accepting an ad are not clear to me.
All I know is that entrecard earns money by using my site for their fun.
It has an influence on the amount of sites I can drop on, I understand.

I have loads of questions. and the fun is gone.

So please leave your url in the commentsection, telling you want my visits in the near future and I'll add you to my blogroll.

Organize This

April 4 2009

1. Are you an organized person?

Yes, I am.
When the children were little my house was well organized.
Now it seems only my brain is...

2. What is one thing about your home that has to be just so or it drives you crazy when it comes to organization?

Oh, I've learned a lot.
But I want sanitary items clean.

3. Do you have one little nuance about your organization that most people consider to be a little over the top? What is it?

I love little gifts and the memories attached to them.
So I have a lot of little things in the livingroom.
Makes an untidy impression to others, but it's my home.

4. What is your favorite organizational tool? (bins, closet organizers, etc.)

The laundry machine. LOL!
I'm great with curver boxes. When I had more of them I would built my own room at the attic.

5. Where is your favorite place to buy organizational needs?

Who cares?
Anyone wanting to travel to The Netherlands to buy the things I like?

6. Are you more organized at work or at home?

My work is my home. Ugh!
But everything was very organised at my work, so others could find their way too.

7. Are you more or less organized than your significant other?

In my heart I'm far more organised, but I'm not competing with his ego anymore.
He thinks he's organised... yea....

8. Does your significant other help or hurt organization?

He does nothing.
Complains when he feels like it. Throws away things from others.
When I clean up the table, he makes a mess again, like he needs it.

9. What is the most important recreational items that you organize?

Recreation? Like camping?
We never ever do things like that. Not with 4 kids with an autism spectrum disorder and people looking at me like I'm the worst mom of the world.

Want to take part too?
Click the logo.

This month I'm fundraising for autism.
Read more about it here.

Want to read the last post of my other blog?
Click here.

Logo made by me with tubes from Outlaw by Design.
You can request the logo, but only when you will credit properly.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Food 4 Thought Friday

april 3 2009

If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

Well, I don't know many homes in series, just because I don't mind how they look.
We're living in a small house, so I would love to have a house with a room for each child, a large attic, and please please an extra room for me.

What did you have for dinner last night (Thursday) ?

Chicken soup
minced meat
apple sauce

If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?

I'm not american.

Midnight Snack
What is your favorite flower?

This is one of my favorite flowers.
They remind me of my grandmother who used to love them too. When they were blooming we went to her little garden and prepared it for summer. The blue/purple flowers had struggled through everything to see the sun, and became a symbol for strength and perseverance for me.

Other flowers I love: lillies of the valley, roses and allllll others!

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?)

Don't surround you with people who look hoe tidy your house is,
or how fancy your clothes,
but be with people who share your heart.

This month I'm fundraising for autism.
Read more about it here.

Want to take part too?
Click the logo.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

it's autism awareness day

april 2 2009

This month I'm fundraising for autism. See here.

Woke up too late on this important day and missed the Tai Chi lesson.
The only hour in the week that's only for me.

Well, sleep is a good replacement, especially when the sun shines when waking up.
(On the radio someone who not only blames the banks for the monetary crisis, but also the lack of rationalism of the people running them and the rest of the financial stage.)

On the doormat an invitation for my second son (with PDD-NOS) who wants to become a photographer.
He can't go to a normal school and we're now trying to find him a place at a school that provides individual education.

My other son studies ICT there and he's very happy with his mentor, but the person we're dealing with for our second son isn't able to incorporate what we have told her in her plans.
She has invited my son for two days next week... two long days.

One of my sons problems is that he can't focus well in an environment he's unfamiliar with.
And he has difficulty, he thinks, relating to people he doesn't know.
The stress often gets a firm grip on him, so he either avoids contact or doesn't show up at an appointment (venting his stress here at home. Ugh.)

After reading the invitation I'm amazed this woman doesn't bother to say one word about what he needs to do these days.

Earlier in the process she has demonstrated a complete lack of understanding for the problems people with autism face, and to me this is another example.

The past years I've learned enough not to get angry, but somewhere very far away there is something bubbling. LOL!

Why do people claim they know how to deal with people with autism when they don't have a clue?
Just tell me that you don't, and I'll lead you through the process. I'm used to that.
I'll be kind and carefull not to hurt any feelings or egos.
But don't make us feel you're a big support and let me clean up all the dirt that's left behind.
The miscommunications, the stress this kid suffers.

When one of the family members feel disturbed it means all will feel disturbed, and I have to get them all comfortable again.

So my breakfast was sending a mail to this woman, requesting her to limit the hours she expects him there and asking her what he needs to expect.

Before my first cup of coffee I've also mailed the school of my third son and asked for a meeting, and I've looked up at what time I have to leave today to be in time for an appointment with the social worker of my sons to talk about a form of daycare for my autistic son (nr 4).

It's autism awareness day and autism stares me in the face again.

Where's that cup of coffee?