Tuesday, March 31, 2009

parents evening

march 31 2009

Yesterday it was time again for a parents evening.
This time a so called "table-evening".
That means that every teacher sits behind a table with two chairs and had 10 minutes to talk with the parents of the children.

We opted for 3 teachers.

It was the first time at the school of the girls and it was a pleasant experience.

The schedule was used rather tight, so there was no need to wait.

All teachers were very friendly.
They didn't make a stressed impression and all gave me the feeling they liked to teach.

How different from the school of my sons, where the teachers made me feel uncomfortable.

The girls do well.

All teachers had full confidence in them, even though one of them experiences a great sense of failure, a terrible inheritance of the school before.
She's overcoming it though, and it sure doesn't influence her schoolwork anymore.

When we went home the weather was marvellous.

From the bus I had a good look on the sunset.
A warm pink and purple spread through the sky.
Part of the festival of colors is due to the ashes and gasses of the vulcano Redoubt in Alaska.

I tried to relax as much as possible.

When we arrived home, the girls were in bed and my autistic son was already waiting to tell me everything about the time we were away.
Nothing special happened, but still he had to tell us every detail.
He speaks with a very loud voice and within minutes I had a squeaking headache.

Well, I'm glad he's finally realising he should have some form of medication to control the chaos in his head. (That'll sort out my headache out too.)
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Monday, March 30, 2009

Manic Monday #161

march 30 2009


Do you enjoy brain teasers or do you find them frustrating?

I enjoy them, Oh yes.
But I won't sit down for them, like I used to do.
And I'm not as persistent anymore. I don't have anything to prove.

Fun thing is, that I'm able to solve them far better when I'm relaxed and don't have the feeling I really need to solve them.

Do you have any unusual collections?

Well, I have 4 kids with autism. LOL!

I collect giraffes, fountain pens, teapots (stopped that for a while, because I ran out of place), and little houses.

I'm also collecting dollshouse things scale 1:12

What do people notice about you within the first hour of meeting you (other than appearance)?

That I smile a lot, I'm offering coffee within the minute (when at my own home) and that I talk a lot. (That's how I feel. Others say I'm not as talking as much as I feel I do.)

I used to apologize for the mess even when there was none.
Now I try not to do that anymore.


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Saturday, March 28, 2009

again a unique frame

march 28 2009

In the morning it looked like there wouldn't be some time to go and look for new glasses, but when I said there was no way I would be able to watch TV, the schedule was changed.

Forced flexibility works best. LOL!

It was already half afternoon when we went.

The people in the two shops I went first must have thought me acting strange.
Entering the shop, having a quick screen over the glasses on one side of the shop, walking over to the other side, doing the same, and leaving.

Then we went to the shop we always go.
I've been looking the past half year, but never found the right frame.
Now I found one new one, and it was precisely right.

Then the shopowner asked if he could help.
I told him that my old frame, the one I always wear in the house, had broken.
He smiled and said..."Well, after 7 years"...

He didn't give a blink when I said I wanted the same strength as the old ones, so I would be able to have good sight at a normal distance. He must have seen my eyes won't adapt well anymore.
The computer was less understanding. He needed to do a lot to get around the last prescription.

My last two glasses had a rim engraved in the sides of the glasses.
He handcoloured the rim himself, which made my glasses unique.
But the last time he complained such a lot, that I didn't dare to ask.

Now he offered to make a rim in the glasses again.
I told him I would colour them, but he said he wanted to do it himself.
We had a good laugh about the fact that many people comment on my glasses, and I send them to him. Live advertisement. LOL!

So I'm going to have a unique frame again.

It's his way to express his appreciation for the fact that we come there with all the children, and it's his way to do something nice.
His brother has a child with autism, and he once told me he wished he could do something for me to make life easier.
Well, I went home with a smile.

I've missed the docking of the soeyoez at the International Space Station (ISS), but I've witnessed the opening of the hatch and the landing of the Discovery.
All astronauts landed safely. Phew!
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Friday, March 27, 2009

I wish, I wish to be the centre of my universe for one day

march 27 2009

How nice it would be to be the centre of my universe for just one single day.

My glasses gave up.

I have three pairs.
One for nearby, to read and for the computer.
One for outside to see far away,
and one for inside the house.
The last one broke.

I feel limited in my activities now, because I can't see well doing the normal activities like cooking, making bread and such.

So, quite logical, I planned to go the the shoppingcentre first thing tomorrow morning.

And then the monitor of my autistic son's computer crashed.

Drama!!!

I got him quiet and glued to the TV (Diagnosis Murder), but every time someone entered the room he started his whole story again and again, almost forcing the other person to listen to him.

With 5 brothers and sisters...

The last months he's speaking very loud and it starts bothering me.
Often I feel like I'm coming home from a loud rockparty, with buzzing ears.

Tomorrow morning his monitor is first on the list.
It needs to be brought to another town, so by the time I can go for new glasses it's already afternoon, or even late afternoon.
We don't have a car, and we have to get the groceries in tomorrow too.

I'm tired of all the drama.
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Food 4 Thought Friday

march 27 2009




Breakfast
What is the last thing you ordered on-line?

That was a small pendant.

Lunch
What is your favorite dessert at a restaurant?

Dame Blanche.
That's icecream with hot chocolate and eggnog. Yummy!!!

Dinner
What is the funnest game you have played recently?

I don't play games.

Am I boring now?

Midnight Snack
What job(s) did you have while in high school/college?

My first one was helping a professor's wife who had broken two legs. She was very kind.
I worked at the development department of the national phone company and then was asked to be trained and become a telephonist.
I've been a telephonist at the national phone company for years.
I also had gigs with a band.

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?)
Don't wait with uncluttering the attic until the day before the heatingcontroler comes.


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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

waitingrooms and waiting

March 25 2009



Oh my dear, it's spring!

I'm not sure I can convince people here.
The dark heavy almost black clouds made us close the curtains early, so we could forget all the rain and wind and enjoy the coziness of the light in the livingroom.

The day started early with a visit with son nr 3 to the doc.
He doesn't feel well, and I want matters sorted out now.

I can't convince myself he's got diabetes, but the are some worrying signs and better test it one time extra than not.
Even without me saying so, the doc told him he wanted to test his fasting blood sugars and a lot more.

We were so happy we were outside again.
On our way there it rained terribly and we had to sit in the waitingroom in our wet clothes for 70 minutes!
Next week the doc will get my bill for the waitingtime:
  • 2x60 minutes waitingroom
  • 1x 70 minutes waitingroom
  • 2x15 minutes telephone


That's a bit too much for just one week.

When I came home my autistic son told me his computerscreen is acting weird.
It doesn't get on when the computer starts.
Well, all the plugs were in well, so something else is the matter.
I could do nothing else than to sit down with him and switch on the TV and watch a few programs with him. I was almost dozing of when he went upstairs and called me that the screen worked again.

GOOD.

Son nr 2 was expected at the railwaystation to help his dad.
He put his shoes on when a bit of sunshine hit the earth, but when he reached for the doorknob is started to rain..a lot!
So he started to put on his raingear.

Then his father called. He was furious his son wasn't there.

Whatever I said, it was all wrong.
He kept on going he had made an appointment and people should keep it.

He got silent though when I said that he should consider the fact that it was raining so bad.

"I was in the rain too"

"How come you are not wet at all?"

"I was in the waitingroom at the station, and I couldn't get out because I would get extremely wet because of the rain."

"And you keep on complaining that your son doesn't go through that weather, while you yourself are dry and warm?"

"We had an appointment. He agreed to meet me there and help me get that box home on his bicycle."

"Do you have a problem with waiting a few minutes?"

"Yes, he should stick to his promisses."

"Well, I guess you autists are both the centre of your own world.
Makes me think that none of you wanted to get wet."

"Nevertheless he should have come, like he promissed".

Just before I saw stars and started to have a heart attack a last question entered my mind.

"Well, when he would have come, would you have gone through the rain to arrive home soaking wet?"

"No, ofcourse not, I would have waited."


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


How come I still fail to understand how the male brains work??? LOL!
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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

New system of commentluv

march 24 2009

I've decided to start a new system of commentluv.

Because I don't think that putting a name in the sidebar is enough attention for my most energetic commenters I decided to make a special site to express my commentluv for them.


Blogback Time


Those who comment first at posts at Laane on the World and Laane Loves, and my most frequent commenters will be honored with a post about their blog or a blogpost.

This site will also be the place where I'm going to keep the links to those who stop with entrecard, but who I want to keep track of. So don't hesitate to ask me to put you in the blogroll.
I'll be happy to do so.

I hope this new system will be more meaningful than other systems.

Come on.... it's Blogback Time!
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dream march 24 2009

march 24 2009

A child, nearly a teenager, died in my arms.
I had long hair and the blood of the girl was caught in my hair.

Looking for someone who belonged to the girl I found the mother.
I wanted to tell her how her daughter had died, but she told me to wait. She had other things to do.

After waiting quite a long time I went to her house.
The door was slightly open and she was busy.
I told her I wanted to tell her what I knew because I had things to do too.

Again she told me to wait.


===

I don't have long hair.

Any input?
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Monday, March 23, 2009

Manic Monday #160

march 23 2009


Do you screen your phone calls?

I'm not sure what you mean by this.
Do you mean I first look at the number?

Yes.
We've done away with the house connection a few years ago, because the kids reached puberty and our bill the top.

So I carry my cellphone/mobile phone with me when I'm ready to receive a call.
But I don't want any break ins in my free time anymore from people who have all the time of the world to call or from people who think I should jump for them.
So I've given only my best friends and the psychiatrists of my children my number and no one else.

I do have a quick look at the number when the telephone rings.
When I don't know the number, I won't take the call.
That way people have to ask me first when they give my number to someone else.
Works perfect!!

When was the last time you lost your temper?

That was a long time ago, because when I lose my temper my autistic kids and their father lose their temper too.
But I do know my moments of utter despair, like yesterday when son 2 started to get a meltdown about his bad computer just when I had a few moments of rest.
This time he could be stopped, so that was a relief, but when I found out this morning that he refused to sleep last night... Ugh.
Instead of getting angry at him I just walked away and got the laundry out of the machine.
When I came back a little later he was asleep on the couch.

Not the best place to crash, but in this case I won't wake him.

When you're lost, do you ask for directions?

Oh yes.
When I was younger I didn't dare to do so.
Now I do.

Most of the time when I go somewhere and I don't know the area I prepare myself.
I'm enthousiastic about maps and other things on internet which enable me to get to know the area.


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Sunday, March 22, 2009

cat allergy

March 22 2009

It's kind of quiet here now two of the boys are to a lanparty.

The weather is starting to get better, so they'll soon be skateboarding again.
I'd better get the bandaids ready and put aside the taxi-fare so I can go to hospital when one is injured.

Yesterday one of them came home with thick itching eyes.
An allergy reaction to the cat which cuddled right next to him on the couch when he fell asleep.

I used the anti-allergy drops and gave him an anti-allergy pill, and while he was lysing on the couch dealing with the pain of the drops, he fell asleep. (How healthy are those lan-parties? LOL!)

When I woke up this morning he was gone.

Turned out he woke up at 7.30 and went back to the lan-party again, feeling stupid for not telling his friend he was allergic to cats.

Problem is that I have to wash his clothes.
I'm far more allergic to cats than he is, and I've only one pill left to cope with my own allergy problems until tomorrow afternoon. Then the pharmacy will have my new ones waiting for me. (I forgot to order them with the rest last week.)

So those clothes will be "draped on the line" for a day longer.
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Saturday, March 21, 2009

Kids are ill

March 21 2009

Twice I visited the doc this week. TWICE!

Not for me, but for three kids.

I should have gone for myself. I'm half a year late for my three month's check-up for diabetes.

First I went in with one of the boys, and yesterday I went with the girls.

One was bothered at school by the same teacher that told her a month ago or so that she was an anorexia patient.
She is thin, small and has a very pale complexion. Her grey eyes accentuate the colour of her skin.
She's just like me when I was young, so I know how you feel when people kleep on telling you that you're not healthy.
I nearly bit that teacher his head of through the mail. Boy, was he lucky I was here at my desk with a cup of coffee and not on the warpath!

I got her HB checked yesterday and it was 9.0. Perfect!!
When we came home she ate 9 sandwiches... to start with. LOL!

My other girl has been coughing and sneezing and not feeling well for two weeks now.
The doc examined her, looked at her throat, examined her lympfnodes and told us she needed some bloodwork done because it might be mononucleosis infectiosa.

That means we're getting ready (I'm ready, she's still doing all sorts of things young girls do before leaving) to go to the horspital to get her blood checked.
The doc wanted it to be done today and not on monday.

So I'm off. I hope I won't fall asleep in the bus, because I'm still tired. (my autistic boy refuses to go to sleep yesterday.)
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Friday, March 20, 2009

Food 4 Thought Friday

march 20 2009



Breakfast
If your job made you move, but you could choose which country you would be living in, which country would you choose and why?

Well, anyone who knows me knows that I would love to move to Scotland..RIGHT NOW!
I grew up in a time when there was real freedom and the future was a good promise.
People were positive and they believed other people where essentially good.
Because of that people felt respected and respected others.

Now I feel there's more talking about freedom, especially freedom of speech, only as an excuse to invade the freedom of others and limit it. I'm fed up with politicians that have no decency and show no politeness at all and are admired just because they say it's freedom of speech.
It leads to ridiculous situations that americans are financially supporting the political activities of an intolerant and discriminating politician here. I don't understand that, because the yelled murder when there was even a thought of non-americans supporting the campaign of usa politicians.)

I don't like the way everything about people is registered. Even small children have to live up to standards some people have created from behind a desk, and when they're not exactly living up to those standards this will be filed and it will hunt them all their lives.

Children need to play, because play itself provides all the stimulus for development.
I'm not talking about the prepared plays at toddlercare, but at free play of a little child at home and in nature.
I also firmly believe moms are not for planting kids on the earth alone, but are also the persons who can give a child the basic feelings of security, being loves unconditionally and all that.

Apart from that I do believe that motherhood is as good a job as any other and I'm fed up by younger people who tell me it's time I should contribute to society by working in a real job.
(Well, I guess their lack of a good childhood role model and mom made them underestimate the important role of mothers on society.
I don't think there would be as much criminal and almost criminal behaviour, not as much language problems and learning difficulties, etc etc, when the mothers would raise the children themselves, without being held responsible for giving their best to a job.)

I've never heard that jobs are the future of a society, but I do have heard that kids are the future.
Well, invest in them properly.

I don't feel at home in this society anymore.

My dream is to move to Scotland... or somewhere else, where I live far closer to nature, and I'm responsible for my own life, and where I can take that responsibility by developing my talents and work with nature to get bread and vegetables on the table.

My Scottish genes, the few I have, pull me to Scotland.
To the raw nature, to a place where I can use my bagpipes without disturbing a soul.

Lunch
Do you have any phobias?

Real phobias...Don't know.
I hate spiders, and I think I hate snakes.

Dinner
What is something you can't help but spend money on?

Haha... don't have money to spend, so I'm saved from the feeling that I can't help doing something I shouldn't do.

Midnight Snack
What profession/job did your parent(s) have while you were growing up?

My father worked in communication. He was one of the first 4 in my country who prepared for the computer era.
My mom worked as a seamstress and at a telephone company.

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?)

Pick your own time for battles others want.


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Thursday, March 19, 2009

The earth is well alive at the Tonga Islands

March 19 2009

Tsunami warning For the Tonga Islands.

Last monday an underwater twin vulcano in the South Pacific ocean near Tonga started to erupt, leading to huge and fierce ash, steam and smoke eruptions from at least two places, near the twin volcanic islands of Hunga Tonga and Hunga Ha'apai.

Tonga is a South Pacific island chain North of New Zealand and East of Australia.

Scientists were able to near the vulcano to shoot an interesting short movie which can be seen all over internet.
They were able to observe the huge eruptions from a boat, staying away from pyroclastic events.


Thank you Wil for making this available.


Because the wind isn't blowing to the direction of the main island of Tongatapu, which is about 6 miles from the underwater vulcanos, there are no people in danger at present.

An earthquake of 7,9 hit the area.
A tsunami warning has been issued, which lasted an hour and caused panic.
The waterlevel was raised ony a few cm's, so the water didn't cause any casualties.

The epicentre of the quake was 209 km from the coast of the main Island of Tonga, at a depth of 10 km.
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The ring made the choice.

march 17 2009

After waiting half an hour she was finally called in.
Another visit to the orthodontist.

The assistant asks her to sit in the chair and give her braces.

But that was not what we were coming for.
She needed to have new x-rays taken.

Another discussion: the time is not scheduled for that.

"Oh it is!"

After reading the files and going to the secretary she returns and tell me I'm right.

More time gets lost, because the camera for the normal photos doesn't work.

So it's no wonder we're in for a good round of shopping.
It's a pity we don't have the time.

But we visit one of the jewelry shops and look for earrings, just for fun.
I think they're waiting for the new items for spring, because there's nothing special but one ring.

I try it on and.... I can't get it off.

Because it's just 2,95 I'm not very impressed, but my daughter is.
She looks at me with big eyes: "What now?"
The shoplady smiles and gets huge sissors to free me and the ring from the huge label.

At home a bit of soap is enough to get the ring off.

We're having a good laugh:
that ring has chosen for me, not I for the ring, LOL!
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Monday, March 16, 2009

Manic Monday #159

march 16 2009


Are you a saver or spender?

There's nothing to save, and not much to spend.
But I'm a saver.
I like to be able to put money away and do something with it that's well worth the effort of saving.

In fact, I've saved money for years to buy my bagpipes. I succeeded.

Do you prefer to walk around barefoot in your home? Socks? Shoes?

Barefoot in flipflops. Always.

I think they will burry me with flipsflops too, because I kept the industry turning. LOL!

Do you talk to yourself?

You mean aloud?

I have done that for a while a few years ago.
More as a kind of philosophical exercise.
Making a statement and then questioning that. It's interesting.

I don't do it anymore, because I'm not alone in the house anymore.
Can't have them declare me even more nuts than I am, can I?

When preparing for an important meeting, I do talk in myself though.
Sometimes after a meeting I hear people say: I should have said this and that.
Well, I want to actually say it at the right moment. So I talk myself through a meeting, looking at possibilities and opportunities. Being aware of what I want out of that meeting and how to get it.
I call it strategic thinking.

An I nuts??


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Sunday, March 15, 2009

Want to hunt down diabetics? Read this.

march 15 2009

Why do some people think they have the right to show disrespect to others?

We all are aware by now that discrimination is not done.
Not to people with another colour, not to people with another religion, etc etc.

But like always people just look around and pick another feature to comment on, to ridicule and to expose as a kind of alien species.

I've been a ballet dancer a large part of my life.

It's something that runs in the family.
We either dance, paint, write or are photographers.

It's fun to see the creative genes around and to try to forecast with each born baby which talent he or she is gifted with.

I was happy during those years.
I didn't consider myself handsome or beautiful, but my body was OK for ballet and I didn't crave food that was unhealthy.

When my first child was born I stopped, but as soon as I felt that I was ready again after my last kids were born, I started a new group.... for a bit older dancers, took up teaching and had a great time again. Even performing with 4 of my children at the same show.

I was as healthy as could be. Bought clothes where ever I wanted, in the size I wanted, and when my girls were 4 some people thought I was their older sister. (Yea, really).

My weight: 55 kg. Length 1.74 m.

Because I had gestational diabetes (pregnancy diabetes), and the generations before me had diabetes, I was aware of the risk.

So when I started to feel strangely tired, when my eyesight seemed to change with the time of the day, I went to my doc to ask for a glucose tolerance test.
He smiled. And he made a joke.
OK... I've studied psychology and medicine too, and yes, some people think they have a disease (or all) they have found in a textbook. But I never considered myself to be one of them.

Nor did a good friend.
She gave me a glucosemeter and told me to use it freely when I thought things were out of control.

The same evening I called my doc and showed him my findings.

Within days I had medication and all sorts of appointments to check things.
Including my diet.
I was told it was perfect and healthy.

A few months later I started to feel quite unhappy.
It was like I was gaining weight, which was strange, because I'd taken up my way of living, which was working all day to care for my kids (4 with special needs), and rushing off on my bicycle after dinner to race in 45 minutes to ballet.

In the weekends I trained with the pupils from the ballet academy.

Exercise enough... but I gained weight.

Even stranger... although my diet was cholesterol friendly my cholesterol was rising.

All my docs did was give me meds to counteract the rise in cholesterol.
The side effects caused such bad muscle problems that I had to stop dancing.
Already I was considering that step, because my weight made me feel unhappy in my clothes and balletwear.

Not long after that people started to tell me I should lose weight because the weight caused me to be diabetic.
I even went back to the dietician to see what I should do with my diet to become my old me again.
But all my life I had been eating healthy, a diabetic diet, so there was no need and no room for change.
I left the building with tears in my eyes, feeling convicted to be a person I'm not.

Now the years have passed I have met more people, men and women, who went through the same experience as I.
They changed into an obese person after they got diabetes, and not before.

Being lucky to know scientific researchers all over the world, I started to mail around to motivate them to look into two issues:
  1. Is it possible that diabetes mellitus is not one disease, but a name for several forms?
    Some caused by obesity, others causing obesity?
  2. Is it possible that people can't lose weight while they have enough exercise and a healthy diet?


Ofcourse I was not the only one with those questions and we now know that it's indeed true that under certain conditions people can't lose weight.
Most of these conditions are stressrelated. (I'm not speaking about overeating because of stress, but about stress and a healthy diet and normal physical activity.)

I can go on and on and on about this, but I'm sure no one cares.
And it's not the reason why I started to write this post.

I started to write, because I feel offended by the way people think they know all about the life of other people.
In this case: about the life of people with diabetes.

I'm lucky I'm not terribly overweight, and I'm certainly not unable to move properly either.
I can touch the floor with flat hands and my knees straight, I can lift my leg above horizontal front and side, and I can still run to catch the bus. (I'm 53).

But I'm overweight enough to have doctors who haven't read my files tell me to lose weight to lose the diabetes. (It's always fun to tell them to keep updated about scientific research on the subject. LOL!)

I hate the way people are dealing with overweight diabetic people.

Some even think it's normal behaviour to show pictures on their blog of terribly obese people to accompany warnings about overeating and diabetes.

I'm OK with telling people they should exercise enough, eat healthy and live otherwise healthy too.

But I'm getting angry when I smell disrespect, discrimination, and making fun about other people.

It's like diabetics are lose wild and everyone is allowed to hunt them down.

Don't you think we know the risks of the disease?
My eyes sight is so precious to me, I can't tell. Why risk loosing it?
Movement has always been a creative outlet to me... Why risk loosing it?

I feel a cancer is inside me, waiting to jump on me when I don't watch.
Trying to steal the function of my vessels, my heart.
To slash me down when I don't watch, leaving my children alone on this earth.

Most interesting is that people who don't exercise, who smoke, bully others, don't respect others, live unhealthy in other ways, drink a glass of wine to stay healthy (and more glasses too), use the car even for short distances, etc etc. comment on the way I live without even knowing how I live.
I hope they won't get arthritis, dementia, or anything else when they get older.

Want to hunt down diabetics?

DON'T!

We're human beings confronted with a disease we don't want.

Maybe some of us caused it themselves, maybe.
But we all suffer from the way we feel and from what we have to do to stay as healthy as possible.

But we suffer the most from YOU!
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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Food 4 Thought Friday

march 14 2009




Breakfast

What is the longest consecutive time you have spent in a car?

Ugh, another carquestion.
8 hours with 3 short breaks.

Lunch
Where would you go if you were invisible?

Hmmm, maybe visit my extended family to see how they think about me.

Dinner
If you could swim in any liquid what would it be and why?

I have never thought about it.

Midnight Snack
What store do you shop at the most?

With a family of 8 and almost no time for funshopping?
That needs no answer at all.

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?)
Leave a problem alone for a time and see if it solves itself.


Want to take part too?
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Friday, March 13, 2009

autism and the flu during the night

march 13 2009

Being autistic is a struggle, trust me.

My autistic son shares a room with his ADHD brother.
It's far from a successful situation, but when they're asleep it works out well.

The flu is slapping the kids one by one, and my ADHD son has caught it in a very bad way.
Because his autistic brother complains about his normal breathing, he tries to conquer the night on the couch, coughing, wheezing and turning around all night.

Problem is my autistic son didn't want to go to sleep.
According to him things aren't distributed even, because he wants to sleep on the couch too.

Seeing a chance to offer my other son his own bed, I agree with him and tell him to go downstairs with his cushion.
He throws a fit.
The outcome is that he wants to have his brother in his own bed, because he misses his breathing sounds.

By that time it's 2.30 in the night, and my eyes are hardly prepared to stay open another 5 minutes.

We don't have sleeping pills available, but I do have vitamin C in a brown pharmacy pot with an interesting label with lots of C4pftbidyetrityfosfate thingies and umml and such, with his name and birthdate and a cotton ball under the lid to keep the pills away from moisture.

My underconscious steers my arm straight to it and I succumb.
I get a mug with water and tell my son to take a pill while I get his brother.
Ofcourse he needs a sleeping pill to sleep through the coughing and wheezing....

While I bring the mug back to the bathroom: about 4 steps to and 4 steps fro, he falls asleep and doesn't notice I switch of the lights and jump in my bed.

When I wake up a few hours later my right arms hurts badly because I kept it so firm in my sleep that the muscles protest.
My son had forgotten all what went on during the night and he tells his brother to stop wheezing and coughing, because a bad flu lasts a week and he's bugged for 8 days already.

"Yea, that's why he went to the doc yesterday" I tell him.
Like the doc added a few days extra.

I'm relieved when a big, deep, heavy silence follows...
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Thursday, March 12, 2009

walking on teeth

march 12 2009

Can one walk on one's teeth?
There's a saying here that says so, expressing that the person is very tired.

Guess what? I am.

My son has been very ill, but today he did a tiny bit better. Enough to pay a visit to the doc, to exclude any bacterial involvement.
We had to wait a complete hour in the new waitingroom.
I loved the former one. It was small, but there was music, and I could walk outside without the chance of missing the doc when he came to fetch me.

Now we had to wait on the second floor.
It was so hot, and the chairs were so new we were sliding off them, LOL!
The sounds echoed all through the building.
Modern minimalystic style with decorated walls with huge paintings can be quite impressive, the acoustics are perfect to make my bagpipes sound even louder, but I don't like the fact that I can hear the person talking with the assistant.

To go with my son I had to miss Tai Chi, but I can deal with that.
I didn't have a T-shirt with "free Tibet" anyway, and without it I feel like I'm betraying the Tibetans a bit by training in a chinese sport.

The girls had their schoolreports.
They were GOOOOOOD!!!!

When they keep up the good work, they'll go to a level higher than the former school adviced.
All due to their persistent hard work.

Got an opportunity to blog at one of the other sites.
The post was declined and it really made me feel nauseated.
In the past I've written plenty of posts in exactly the same style and they were always approved.
A little devil in my ear tells me that they have had a couple of days of free link-exposure.
I wonder how many other bloggers have blogged for the same firm and had the same experience.

Last year the same women told me I had a no-follow blog, whereas I surely had a complete d-follow blog.
When I told her that I'd removed the no-follow (without telling her when) she said: "Now it's OK". Yea... some miracles are psychological. LOL!

Well, I'm going to do the dishes and watch House.
I just love the medical problems they deal with in the series.
Nice training of my diagnostic skills.
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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Dick van Dyke and me

march 11 2009
Well, by now you know that my son was told he was fired, and when I told them there are legal procedures they started step back. (Just read the posts with the same logo.)

It was said that my son was called over and over again on his cellphone and the person even left a message.

Because I stood beside my son when he called the shop to give them his new number quite a lot of months ago, I know they have it.
And they called my son a few weeks ago on the new number.

I'm not playing CSI or something, but I did feel a bit Dick van Dyke in Diagnosis Murder when I called the shop and reported my son ill.
The person who took the call didn't know what to say. Maybe because my son is not on the list for this week.
Immediately after that I asked him to get me the person who was told to have called my son.

It took quite a while waiting, and wondering why people who get to the phone have no training at all in politeness, and then I was finally put through to the person I needed.

He sounded dull, slow and I guess he was lucky I can't establish a reliable IQ through the phone.
I told him I know he'd called my son and asked him the number.
When I repeated it my son was gesticulating like he was drowning.
Yep, as we assumed: it was the old number.

I asked the guy whether that was the number that's written on the contract.
He told me he didn't know.
So I said goodbye before he was able to ask me something and ended the wordpoor conversation.

It's wednesday now.
At monday the topmanager of the shop knew the number was wrong.
They didn't even bother to change it to proof they had done their job well.

The similarities between Dick van Dyke and Diagnosis Murder don't end here.

We're both in a medical environment.
3 kids are ill now. Caught by a nasty flu bug, that causes coughing, painful throats, clouded heads and a lot more you don't want to know.
1 is heading towards the problem too,
and I'm putting up a fight against earache, a soar throat and a headache.

What a pity now the weather finally allows the first gardening exercises.
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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

No work yet.

march 10 2009
I wrote about my third son loosing his job, ::here:: and ::here::.

Yesterday was an interesting day.

Last week, after my son was told he had lost both his job and his practical training, I had a look into the law.

Not long after that I wrote a mail to the shop to protest against the way my son was treated and requested an answer not later than monday.
Usually I give 14 days to reply, but in this case I wasn't prepared to wait long.
Ofcourse I also said that when no reply would be received I would turn to the director of the whole company. (Yep, I'm a true sweetiepie. LOL!)

Most people know that a reply is also a letter stating that the mail is received and will be answered before then and then, but this guy wrote a full reply.

My son didn't loose his job...oh no... He was just told reconsider staying there.

He gave a few reasons which didn't ring a bell for my son at all, and mentioned 6 meetings to talk about his paperwork for practical training.

I always like the fact that people come with numbers.
Either they have the proof, or they don't, but think they can impress me.

Because my son like to talk.... a lot!!! (grmmmpppfffff!!!), when he comes home, I knew the meetings were limited to 1 and 1 only.

The guy from school was very reasonable and I asked him to requests the notes of those meetings.
Ofcourse they were not available.
the meetings suddenly were remarks on the workfloor. Yea!
Like my son needs to have some motivational assistance putting dogfood on the right shelf. Not after 2 years!

I sense my son was in for a promotion and they wanted to get rid of him and hire a cheaper employee.

Then the tutor of my son arrived at school and mailed that a week ago he had a talk at the shop and he was told by the same guy my son was doing very well.
Hmmm....interesting.

In my mail I'd written that I wanted to have a meeting with this manager about my sons job, after a meeting about my son's practical work with his tutor present too.

The guy has very long toes, I discovered, because I got a mail with a rather downlooking tone, telling me he wanted a meeting as soon as possible, so he needed my phone number.

Before that he'd told me he'd been trying to call my son a thousand times, but when I asked my sons phonenumber to see whether he'd called the right number, he never gave it.
So I didn't feel any guilt when I decided not to give my phonenumber. No way I want him to ruin my days.

It was greed we would plan a meeting today.

But yesterday evening my son was really ill, and this morning he was even worse.
I called the doc and when we were preparing to go, my son fell, like a shelf, in the bathroom.
He was lucky not to hit his head against the bath.

This has happened before, when he was very tired.

So two times of the same and the way he fell and lost consciousness for a few seconds both times, made me think of something neurological.

Well, the psychiatrist will order a neurological exam when he's better. I've arranged that immediately.

After calling our doc again to cancel the appointment for today and informing work and school he's seriously ill, I transformed myself to a full blown nurse.

Now he's downstairs sleeping at the couch, so I can watch him.

I even try to enjoy the silence.
In the past he's acted like a real man when being ill, so I'm trying to prepare me for that. Tomorrow or the day after he;ll start talking again. LOL!
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Monday, March 9, 2009

Manic Monday #158

march 9 2009

What would you do with an extra hour each day?

Well, I probably would do the same what I do all day, but if this hour was a secret between Time and me, and was not to be spend on others, I would try to relax.
Now spring is coming, the idea of taking my time gardening and listening to the birds is very appealing.
When the hour would be extra at midday I certainly would spend part of it practicing bagpipes.

Do you wear a watch? If so, tell us about it. If not, how do you keep track of time?

I love clocks, so there are clocks all over the house.
I never wear a watch inside the house.
Since my wristwatch stopped forever keeping track of time, I take a pocketwatch with me.
It's a 1 dollar thingy from that huge shoppingsite online, but I hope to have a real pocketwatch, one with a history.

Time is just something I don't like, unless it's caught in a beautiful or extravagant watch.
Because I like to be in time when I'm having a meeting or an appointment, and it's always a problem to get somewhere, I leave home in time and then accept dependence on public transport. Not having a wristwatch is very relaxing.

If it was possible, would you want to know how many days you had left to live?

Oh yes, I can deal with that.

I now life like there's a tomorrow forever, whereas I'm high risk for heart failure.
instead of being prepared, I keep many things on my to-do list. Like that keeps problems away.
Now I think about it, it's kind of magic thinking. Death won't come when my house is still not completely perfect.

Knowing how long I have to live makes me able to prepare things, and do the things I wanted to do in life.
All my life now goes to the children, like my life isn't my own.

One by one I have to give up my dreams, because I'm getting too old.
That's dying a bit each time.

When I know how many days I still have, I would say a proper goodbye to all I love and leave to have some silence and contact with nature.
I've always said I wanted to walk into the dessert to die, but the last time I think I'd rather would be in the mountains, close to another, living, kind of nature.



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Sunday, March 8, 2009

Your bestest day

March 7 2009


1. What one day of your life do you think was your best day?

I don't know. Maybe it's yet to come.
With so many children there are many higlights.

2. What one day of your life do you think was your worst day?

The day that my first daughter died in my arms.

And the day I was with my dad when he died.

I was still breastfeeding one of my children and went to and fro.
After a few nights being with him I was exhausted.
Dad promised he wouldn't die when I was sleeping for a few hours, so I went downstairs to take a nap at the couch. But my dear caring mother (not!) told me the couch was for sitting and send me upstairs to a room with a terrible couch.
It was impossible to relax without backpain, and when I looked up I looked straight to the photo of my dead child.
I've never cried so silent and so yelling at the same time.

Dad died 5 hours later. I was with him.

3. If you had to pick the best year of your life, when was it and why?

My second year at university.
The whole future was smiling at me, I had my old friends around and new friendships were emerging.
I was studying the subject I wanted, had a job that didn't take too much energy, and I was part of an international balletgroup.

4. If you had to pick the worst year of your life, when was it and why?

The year before last year and last year.

A council representative threatening to bring me to court, because she thought I was keeping my son from school. But there was no place, and no one really cared how autistic my son really was.
A psychiatrist telling me she wanted to institutionalise him at a place we could barely visit, where they use(d) isolation rooms and the whole lot. No place for an autistic kid.

Before that year I looked 20 years younger than I was. Not anymore.

5. Most recently, what night did you do something that you loved?

Night?
Wish I had a caring lover.

Well, last week I read a good book during the night.

6. Most recently, what night did you do something that you hated?

Last week too, when my autistic boy was all over the place with his emotions and my second son too.
Next time I'll call the ambulant psychiatric service and have them institutionalized both.

7. Tell us about your best relationship that did not work out.

I don't feel the need to look back to bad experiences.
Read some posts of former memes.

8. Tell us about your worst romantic relationship that you’ve had.

The same answer. Do you want to get me depressed?

9. Is there a celebrity that you’d love to spend a “no hold bars” night with?

What does that mean?

I don't know a celebrity for a relationship.


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Saturday, March 7, 2009

More details about my son loosing his job

march 7 2009
Yesterday I wrote about my third son loosing his job, ::here::.

I contacted his school and they didn't know anything about it.
My son has a short meeting on monday and after speaking with the shop I'll be invited for a meeting.
So that gives me enough time to prepare my case.

It's a famous national groceryshop, represented in almost every town, so they probably have a good legal department.
On the other hand, I've been informed about the way young people are treated and all I want to say here is that some examples make me feel sick.
When kids are not allowed to get a few hours off to say goodbye to their dying grandmother in the hospital nearby things are not OK. One can take it as a lame excuse to get an icecream or so, but the story can be verified with one call. (And I know for sure that grandmother was dying, so this is a very good example how caring they are for the people that work there, and how they don't care for the law.)

Another example is that they wanted my son to work too many hours, by telling him and me that they needn't care how much he worked there for his education.
The guy who told me so was completely wrong, and I remember reading the articles of law to him, because I had them right in front of me on the computerscreen. LOL!

I'm looking forward to an interesting meeting.

My son feels rotten, because he gave everything he had. But I told him that he can be proud of working so hard and that I think everything will work out to a situation which will be better than it was before.

He went to apply for a job in the not yet opened new shop of a bakery nearby.
They accepted his application, and he'll probably will be accepted for at least the saturdays.
When they want him for 3 days, as they said it might be the case, I'll talk with school. Maybe they'll accept the extra 2 days as educational work.

My son slept in this morning and when he was downstairs to eat his lunch he looked relaxed and a lot better.


Told you it's never boring here....
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Friday, March 6, 2009

Food 4 Thought Friday

march 6 2009




Breakfast

What is the most interesting car you have ever owned and why?

(Ah! Another car question.)

I have never owned a car.

Lunch
What book are you currently reading?

One that is 15 cm thick, LOL!

I never care how a book is called or who has written it.
It's upstairs and I'm not going there now.

It's a book situated a few era's ago during a chinese dynasty.
The first 5 pages were filled with names and the functions of those people in the book.

It's a very detailed description of magical power over people and the different classes in society.

Because I haven't read much, I can't tell more.

Dinner
Did you have any pets growing up?

Did I have pets while I was growing up?
Or: did I have pets that were growing up?

Noop.

Well, we had a family goldfish, and my mother killed it every few months because she cleaned it's bowl with too much soap. My sister never saw my father brought so often a replacement.

And we had a canary for a while.
On a sunday afternoon it dropped dead, literally. Again after my mother cleaned the cage a few hours earlier.

We had no dogs, cats or whatever.


Midnight Snack
How do you unwind at night?

Blogging, listening music, and reading a buit before falling asleep.

Recipe of the Week
(instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?)

Prepare well before you fight for your right.


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My son lost his job

march 6 2009

For over 2 years my third son worked at a supermarket.
He was valued very much because he worked very hard.
His ADHD helped him a lot.
"When you can't sit still, you'd better use the energy," was our motto.

This morning he arrived at his job and was told he could go home.

I sense some illegal action here.
He has been ill a few days, and to my knowledge he can't be fired because of that.
Only when a special council department has given permission that is accepted, but only when they have spoken with the employee.

They also told him that his practical work for school was stopped.
According to the rules it's not up to them to tell my son this, but up to the school.

So I'm preparing myself for a few meetings tomorrow and next week.

I'm not very happy about this, and I feel very sorry for my son who gave all he had and who loved the work.

Because of it all I haven't finished removing hand added widgets from my blog.
Last year almost every post had a certain commentwidget, and because they're out of use I'm removing them one by one.

Well, that's for tomorrow with a cup of coffee.


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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Gardasil, Cervarix and a bunkbed

march 3 2009

No, I haven't left this blog.
I was just too caught up with everything going on in our lives.

The girls were approached for a shot to prevent certain HPV infections, wrongly advertised as stuff to prevent cervical cancer.
I did a bit of research and we all came to the decision not to take the shots.
When you want to read about my fndings you can do it at Laane Loves. In this case the title should be: Laane doesn't love. LOL!

We had a terrible vacation.

Part of it due to a new bunkbed... yep..
The old one was over 30 years old and a collegue of the father of the kids had one he needed to get rid of. It was rather new.

So one of the days we got all the stuff out of that part of the boys room, removed the old bed within 10 minutes and built the blue one within 20.
Then got all the stuff back in the room again.

That was it, I thought.

No, it wasn't.

The bed was blue and 1 cm wider, and my autistic boy saw his whole world change.

It took him two days of bad moods, shouting and a lot of bad behaviour more, until he accepted the thing.

By then my second boy, with PDD-NOS, was all over the place because he got nuts from his brother.

Because they kept themselves freaked out, they hardly slept...
I don't need much sleep, but only 5 hours in 3 to 4 days is not enough.

Finally I got the boys calm and had them wanting to go to sleep.
But they were still to hyped to sleep.

Time for mom's tricks.

One I told he got a sleeping tablet while I gave him a tictac to take with lots of water, as the doctor ordered. LOL!
He slept within 2 minutes.

I didn't have melatonin anymore and the other boy knew that.
So I told him in times like these multivitamins bring balance in the body again.
He took one, and he fell asleep too.

I'm not happy solving problems with pills, so I delivered a firm speech the next day.

All is quiet now...pffffffffffffffff



I'm updating old posts today and tomorrow.
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Monday, March 2, 2009

Change of colours

March 2 2009
When I walked out the front door yesterday afternoon I saw an amazing amount of purple crocusses in the garden.
In the paper it said this morning that all throughout town the crocusses appeared in one day.

So time to change the look of my site.
I hope you like it.
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Sunday, March 1, 2009

top droppers day

March 1 2009



Ofcourse I value each and every drop on its own.
Not everyone has the time, not the energy to surf around internet, dropping on all sorts of sites.

Some have a list they go through every day.
Some people even drop on my blog almost every day, whereas I can't even get their page fully loaded.

I myself like to give every new blog a chance to be seen too, so I often drop from my inbox and then click the cards on the site and I find myself caught up in reading entries and commenting.
It means I'm not on every blog the topdropper I could be.

But it also means I have found a lot of interesting blogs that inspire me each day.
There are so many artists online. It's such a delight.

To I want to thank each and every one.


Topdroppers are:


Dropper # of drops
ik.my 31
Computer Aid 31
SheaKoshan[dot]Net 31
Scandinavian Ways - Winesworlds blog 31
Programming Made Easy 31
Mr Soleh’s Outburst 31
For Your Health 30
Happy Moments.. Happy Thoughts! 30
Photography by KML 30
Margie and Edna's Basement 30


Thank you all!!!
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