Sunday, January 18, 2009

The wise guy after all

january 18 2009

What a terrible weekend this has been.

A few weeks ago my autistic son stopped his medication.

During the last visit at the psychiatrist I wasn't happy with his remark that perhaps we could lower the dosage of my sons meds, because once in a while I try, and it had turned out that lowering increased certain kinds of unwanted behaviour.

Well, my son stopped by himself a few weeks ago.
As it takes a while to get the stuff out of his system, his behaviour worsened gradually, but I could keep on top of it.

This weekend, however, one of his brothers decided to celebrate his birthday.
Which was OK...

Yesterday my autistic son began moaning about his father not spending enough time with him, and complaining about other things which were not worth to complain about.
Well, his father was...let's say...not in a very kind and patient mood, and first they both had a row and then his father turned against me.

I guess someone gave him some feelings he didn't want, or maybe it's midlife crisis or something, but he started to make abuse comments on me.

To me they were very abusive as he leaves early in the morning to do work he enjoys and returned after 8 in the evening, having eaten on his way whatever he wanted.
I have to take care of everything that concerns the children. Not only homework, but also dealing with therapists, schools, making decisions etc etc. In a way I'm used to it, but it isn't the life I imagined.
I don't even have some money to spend on my own or for myself, apart from once in a while a few dollars from writing, so I hardly buy anything for myself. No clothes, accessories or make-up. I cut my own hair.

I can deal with that all, but when people look down on me and start telling me I'm doing a bad job with my autistic son, that hits me.
And when a father, who runs to the library on a sunday afternoon to escape helping the girls with homework or helping with dinner, tells me I'm a bad mother, just to make me feel bad and he can feel powerful, there comes some kind of strange dragon gasping for breath out of me....Oh dear!

Well, before I could say anything, (or ignite my breath. LOL!), my autistic son screamed at him that he needed a father who gave him the feeling he liked him.

Well, daddy, who has autistic characteristics too, didn't even know what he meant.
So the dragon disappeared and the psychologist stepped in, leading him into the basic characteristics of parenthood for the so-maniest time.

When they both went to sleep I was kind of happy with the silence.

This morning we had cake and gave presents to the birthday-wannabee-man, and then my autistic boy started his moaning and complaining all over again, with his father not understanding. Me oh my!

I felt like the director of a bad soap series.
Imagine that I have to tell a man who is father for 23 years what he needs to do: listen to his son. Just listen, without starting to argue about every little detail he says.

My autistic son just doesn't understand that he gets as much as the other ones in the house on his own birthday.
He wants something too.
Instead of giving him a new pen and telling him to put it carefully away, because it's a very special one. bought at a special shop, daddy told him that he wasn't going to get anything until his birthday.

Autistic son really got angry.
He yelled at his father:
"You, you...!!!!
You have to feed me, and give me something to drink,
otherwise I'll die before my birthday.
You're a very bad father to give me nothing at all."

Well...need I go on?
His father didn't understand him, so I needed to explain that his son took things literally.

Instead of watching numbers and NCIS I turned on the concert for Obama.
Dad told us that Stevie Wonder was the guy standing up instead of Stevie behind the keyboards.

Right after Stevie Wonder stood up and turned around.
The TV presentator commented that Stevie was in a very good mood today.

Nothing was said.

When dad left the room my autistic son turned to me and said:
"Wasn't I the wise guy after all by keeping silent?"

"Yes, you were..." LOL!


  1. Get some money somewhere and take yourself out to have your hair done. Buy a new outfit. If you don't put the effort into yourself, nobody else will either.

  2. You should really pamper yourself sometimes... I'm sure you'll feel better. Talk to your husband perhaps. Like you want an alternate Sundays off or something to do things for yourself you know..

    Anyway, that Stevie Wonder thingy is so cute.. :)

  3. I'm guessing your husband doesn't read English...

  4. He reads english, but he doesn't read my blog.

    I don't write here what I haven't told him, though.


Thank you for your comment.