Wednesday, January 14, 2009

so it didn't work out.

january 14 2009

I'm sitting here, crying.

I've just written the physiotherapist a mail to tell her my autistic son won't come back sporting.

He's obese, so he certainly needs something like fitness or something else to keep him moving, but he doesn't understand why.
He hates to go there because of the noises, the smells, and the other people around.

In a way I can understand him, but health goes first for me, but not for him.

Just a little while ago he stood here yelling at me, while I was trying to start another round of motivating him.
He felt I'm not feeling well, I guess.

Well, I've done all I could and I will do what I can.
Not giving him something between meals, give him healthy meals. Being a good role model.

I can't control his father who gives him all sorts of things which are not healthy, and who is a real bad model by eating what he wants, not sporting, etc etc.

OK, I can fool myself, find another original excuse, and stretch this situation for another month, but I won't.

But it's a complete shame that the world sees me as a failing mom, while I did everything what was in my power to make him do things he doesn't want to do, because he doesn't understand how important it is.

Well, maybe I should accept he's making a choice which is not good for himself in my eyes. In his eyes, he feels better without sporting.
Until he explodes, I guess.
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13 comments:

  1. Hi, it's so hard trying to be a great role model when not everyone in the home is doing the same and your son probably knows that dad will provide him unhealthy food's so it make's it harder on you when trying to work on his eating habit's.

    I have a son on the Autism spectrum as well. It's mild but he was dx as pdd, nos. Your post reminds me of when I first had to just stop purchasing anything I didn't want for him to be able to eat like cookies, chips etc...

    After awhile with the food's out of sight he finally developed better eating habit's. When we do purchase any junk food's in our bedroom they go and I hate food being bought outside the kitchen so we all eat junk to a minimum now, so I guess it's better for us all in the end.

    I know how tough it can be and you have 4 autistic boy's, stay strong and hang in there.

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  2. Does your son like video games? Mine does, he's got Asperger's--his grandparents got him a Nintendo Wii for Christmas and he loves it! I don't know if that might be a good option for your son. It comes with a Wii Sports disk with different games on it--tennis, baseball, bowling, golf, even boxing. The Wii is more interactive than other game systems, you're actually up and moving not just sitting in front of a screen pressing buttons on a controller. From what you describe it sounds like your son doesn't like sports because of the environment he's in when he does them, if he can do something similar at home maybe that would help.

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  3. I have a daughter with a lot of behavioral problems and I get treated like a failing mom all the time. What people don't understand is that you absolutely cannot force children to do anything, most especially those that are of very strong will. All you can do is set an example and do your best to guide them, but in the end the choice is up to them.

    I think that a lot of people don't understand this.

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  4. You are a terrific mom with a tough job. You are doing more than most would do. Hugs.

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  5. Keep yourself strong being a mother of your son. I work in school mostly assisting autistic children. I think what you can do is get all the services that your son needed for free in your town community or school. Soccer is good for him because most autistic children like to run and kick the ball. In our town has special need soccer game for just autistic children for free with a lot of staff helping the children and it's separate from the regular soccer game.

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  6. I too, see someone has suggested Wii Sports ... these are quite a good start and can help to build up stamina and confidence. Not only that but you or your other children can play along with him. You build your own little character and name them and each day you can choose to do something different. It helps with co-ordination and in Britain they are finding that it is so useful they are recommending it to all. People are taking it up even in Retirement Homes ... it's certainly worth a try.

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  7. Hey, I have been dropping on your site for awhile. I think that you are a great mom. Don't let this get you down for long.
    I know money is really tight for most right now, but if you happen to subscribe to Netflix they have some workout video's that you can watch online. Using those keeps things fresh and new. It is just a thought.

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  8. I'm so sorry for your frustration.

    I see someone else had the same idea as me: since the Wii Fit seems to have everyone raving about how great it is, I wonder if your son could be coaxed into playing on that or similar games. At least there's no need to deal with noisy unfamiliar environments, yet he can be more active.

    Hang in there!

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  9. it must be tough to have 4 children with special needs. kudos to you for your patience and all the extra effort you're doing for them! *a pat on your back*

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  10. I was going to mention the Wii and Wii Fit as alternatives as well. He may enjoy the exercise in the privacy of his home.

    You're doing everything you can with your sons feeling in mind as well and that is an awesome balance. If anyone tells you or makes you feel like your less of a parent, maybe they should look at themselves.

    You'll find what works...for both of you.

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  11. Your not a failure as a mom, you have a very tough road your traveling, please try not to be so hard on yourself. I raised a son with ADHD (which doesn't even compare to raising an autistic child) but I still feel like a failure as a mom, because the road he has now chosen to travel is a self medicating one. He is grown and gone and all I can do is pray. I am going to send prayers your way for you all, and God bless.

    Jodi

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  12. For me, you must be a one proud mama. You've got a tough job to do and as far as what I've read, you did all your best. You just have to keep trying. Good luck!

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  13. You are a terrific mom with a tough job. You are doing more than most would do. Hugs.

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