Saturday, December 27, 2008

a meme in 2008

december 27 2008

Crazy Sam's Last Meme of 2008

1. What was the best thing that happened to you personally in 2008?

I saw the sea again.
After so many years I managed to go there for a day with some of the children.
For some people who are going on day trips and vacation each year it's normal, for me it was the first time in more than 20 years I had a day of relative peace. (Well my homecoming wasn't nice, but the hours I was away were.)

I found out that the person I have always been before I was caught in this marriage is still there.
It was good to find out that I'm still the person who loves to play with the waves and who can forget everything in nature.
But it also meant the confrontation again with the life I'm living and the enormous urge to leave everyone behind and just move to the mountains.

More than ever I want a house near the beach or move to Scotland.
I need to be able to walk out of my house and just be alone in nature, safe but alone.

2. What was the worst thing that happened to you personally in 2008?

The worst was the trouble with the council about my autistic son and the fact that he can't go to school anymore.
To be threatened with a courtcase is something that is not in my book of living.
Someone theatening me to bring me to court when I give my autistic son homeschooling.

They gave me hope when they adviced me to apply for permission for him not to attend school anymore, they rejected.
Then I appealed and they just didn't listen at all.

It hurts me so deep that people are just so focussed on rules and regulations that they don't see what going to school does with a classical autist who doesn't care for a social life at all.
They want to mold him to a person they think he should be, instead of respecting the person he is.
I think he'd better spend his time to become someone who can care for himself, instead of a person who is good at a job.

I think it's a disgrace that our society doesn't want to care for people with special needs anymore, that our society doesn't respect mothers anymore, because all what counts is a paid job.

I feel I'm spit out by society, because I have to care and stand up for my autistic children.
I've given up a good career, my own personal life and financial security in the future to care for my children, and they don't even respect me enough to trust my personal and professional judgment about my children.
That makes me so very angry....I have no words for it.

3. What was the best thing to happen to all of us in 2008?

Maybe it's the economical crisis.
Many countries are more aware than ever that it's nuts to get products from far away when we can grown them nearby.
The amount of dirt and pollution we create should be diminished and one way is to wear our clothes longer, use our furniture longer, don't use cars for every step we need to move.

I always thought it was nuts that people lived on loans, lived on money that wasn't theirs.
Ok, they're going through a rough time now, but I hope they will find themselves to be happy again with little things.

4. What was the worst thing to happen to all of us in 2008?

It's the fear of terrorism.
We have all been manipulated by other people and many forgot their own moral standards.
We had to give up privacy, the feeling of safety and then I'm not even talking about the gloom and terror spread over us during each newsprogram in the media.

I don't think any of us is better than anyone else.
I'm sick of countries telling they are better than others because they have more freedom of speech, a better religion or whatever.

It's about who we are in our own life and when we're not able to respect others and respect ourselves in who we are and in our actions we're at least terrorists in our own life.

I grew up in freedom, with the feeling I could become the person I wanted to become.
Now we tell our children so many different things.

What a future to leave to our children. Horrible!

5. What was the best gift you receive during the ’08 holidays?

The gift of friendship online.
And in the tactile form: potatoes for the boys with special needs that stayed with us.

6. What was the best gift (most appropriate or best received) you gave during the ’08 holidays?

A warm place to stay for those young people.

7. Do you have any regrets about what you did in 2008?

Does that help?

8. Do you have any regrets about what you didn’t do in 2008?

I should have gone to the international media with the story about my autistic son.
I didn't, because it would have meant an invasion in the privacy of the others and the rest in the home.

But I've been able to use my experience to get some children's rights organisations wake up about the rights of children in the western world.

9. Did you meet anyone that became important to you in 2008?

Well, I've met some nice people online.
But, no, I haven't met anyone who became as important that I got a hug.

Looking back on this year I can say it has been very stressful and very unhappy.
I have never ever written so many mails and letters to so many people to get their attention to the lack of places at schools for children with autism.
I have never ever explained so many times that autism is more than not being able to communicate at a 120% level.
I have never ever been told so many times that people couldn't do anything for me.
And never ever so many times people told me they could manage things far better than I did. I felt so hurt when people told me they would get my son a place at a school. Like I didn't do everything that was in my power.

But they had me laughing some time later, because they couldn't manage things either. LOL!

Well, I won't look back much on this year...
what better motivation is there to move into the future?

Happy New Year!

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  1. May next year and all years to come be much better.

  2. You writings are pretty good and moving. I have an autistic son who is 6 years old.

    Lazar Thobias


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