Monday, November 3, 2008

Another crisis

november 3 2008

Most autistic people need a daily routine to feel well.

This is certainly the case for my autistic son.
Everything that disturbs his feeling of routine results in stress.

Today he was supposed to go to sports.
He's been there once and he loved it, but everything outside the house seems to be a mountain to climb for him.

The girl were expected home earlier than usual on a monday and when they arrived home before 12 because some teachers were ill, he started to act weird.

Within 10 minutes he came downstairs three times and during the two hours that followed that repeated about 20 to 25 times.
I guess he didn't realise that taking the stairs can be seen as exercise too. LOL!

Then he fell asleep, signaling a high level of tension.

To me it was a relief that he left the girls and me alone for a moment, so I could help them with their homework, and have a good laugh.

When he woke up, the complaining started.
It was already dark outside. - But that's no problem for a 16 year old and his mom.
The kids there make a lot of noise. - I could speak with the teacher and ask her to keep them quiet.
He was not able to sport the full hour. - No problem, we agreed for today on half an hour.
Etc etc.

At a certain moment I felt my stresslevel rising and I started to get angry too.
I've been through so much trouble to arrange something for him and now he's boycotting things each and every time.

The girls had to go to balletlesson in the same neighbourhood, so I offered them all a snack before we all would leave.
It could have been so nice to go together.

Instead he didn't lift one finger to get himself dressed.
The pitch of his complaints got higher, he started to repeat them and it was clear there was no way I could talk him into going.

For the first time I stopped going against him.
Sometimes I feel like brainwashing him to make him do something, and the outcome is never certain.

I felt so terribly stressed that I took a radical decision and told my son that I heard what he wanted and that he was 16 and should take his own decision in this matter, today.
When he wouldn't take the effort to go to sports and to do something healthy, he should report this to his psychiatrist.

For the first time in ages I made a decision that was good for me.
The stress dropped... woo did I need that!

Half an hour later he came down telling me he was sorry and was willing to do some exercises at home.

In a way my remark about his health triggered a response.
I ate less this evening....a tiny bit less....


  1. My son is not on the autism spectrum, but he struggles with other mental health diagnoses. I have found that picking my battles with him relieves my tension.

    I can relate to the falling asleep to indicate a coping strategy when highly stressed.

    I'm glad you are feeling better.

  2. Hi Laane.
    It's good you're watching your own health a bit better.
    I hope it's not a one moment event.

    I feel sorry for your son. Such a struggle in himself.


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