Sunday, November 30, 2008

unconscious mutterings # 305

november 30 2008

1. Sleepy :: needs more hours
2. Thanksgiving :: an every day attitude
3. Fifteen :: nice age
4. Authority :: and power
5. Bangs :: another big bang
6. Curled :: not my hair!
7. Young man :: lots of challenges
8. Surprised :: yea, I hope I will be at december 5th, our Sinterklaas
9. Mistake :: Me? Never! (chuckles)
10. Handle it :: Deal with it.

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

Bicycle stolen

november 29 2008

Today someone stole the bicycle of one of my sons.

I'm so sorry for him, but we don't have the money to buy a new one or a second hand one.

In a way I'm glad I've already bought some Sinterklaaspresents for the children, so there's no need to make the choice between decemberpresents and the bicycle, but I feel rotten about it all.

Makes me remember last year.

I wrote about the fact that it was hard to make ends meet and that our presents were an absolute minimum.
People mailed me telling my children should be happy even without presents, because they have a loving mother.

Isn't it interesting that those same people are now complaining even more than I did?

Just Like a Pill

november 29 2008

Just Like a Pill

1. What was the last pill you took?

My diabetes one.

2. What time of day do you usually feel most energized?

Late in the evening and during the night.

3. Who was the last person you hugged?

My daughters.

4. If you had a restaurant serve you a perfect breakfast, what would it be?

Perfect for my diabetes?
I can only eat one little piece of peperkoek in the morning.
It's a kind of soft gingerbread.
Only that keeps my sugar a little bit between limits.

But the most tasty breakfast for me is a full english breakfast with the same sausages my aunt made me.

5. What did you do on Thursday?

Eh...need I look back THAT far?

Ehmmm... oh yes! Tai Chi.

And I completely flipped when I got a mail from the contactperson of the school of my autistic boy.
I will write about that soon, but at the moment I have to care for my bloodpressure.

6. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

I would be married to a man who is able to love me for who I am.
Anyone applying for the post? I'm not biting. LOL!

When I can't have a decent guy, just give me money.
I crave to do some shopping, I long for new a completely new look, and I want to go on vacation and only return when I've seen my online friends and the rest of the world.

7. What is your favorite TV commercial at the moment?

Two women behind a long counter, each at an end.
One puts a chocolate ball in front of a fan and the fan blows it in the direction of the other woman.
Then the fan turns away and the chocolate ball stops roling.
They both have to keep straight faces.
Then the fan turns in the good direction again and the woman can snatch the chocolate and then they laugh.

8. Who would you'd be surprised to wake up and find in your bed?


9. Who is your favorite 80’s band?

The 80's?

Have to look that up... Supertramp is an era before that...yes?
Well Santana played then.... So Santana it is...

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Friday, November 28, 2008

Food 4 Thought Friday

november 28 2008

What is the most stressful thing for you about the holidays?

When you're speaking of christmas...
I always feel troubled by the way families are pictured on TV and such.
Like one happy, complete, entity.

First of all I miss the people who should be there: those who died: 2 children, my dad, my grandmother. I feel sad for the families of friends who died, because I know they'll miss their beloved ones just as much.

With 4 autistic boys and a father who has a heavy burden with carrying their genes without acknowledging it (so, how did I say that??), I can never fully relax. I have always to try and cheer things up, keep things light, translate feelings and actions of others so that no dramas will follow.

You know, I want to relax in front of an open hearthfire. Feet as close to it as bearable resting on a footstool. Candles all around me. Someone who smiles, embraces me...

Well you get the picture...

I hate christmas!!


What one quality do you admire most in others?

That depends on the person.
But I certainly admire people who are always caring without feeling the need to get something back, just for once.
I know someone who seems to have a neverending quantity of care.
At times I feel empty... I can't help it.

(Well, she has a very loving husband...)

Do you enjoy winter, tolerate it, or detest it?

Winter puts people into their own homes, so the streets look dead and empty.
I don't like that.
I hate those grey days, like today. It's not even half past 3 and I need lights switched on.
And I miss the flowers, the changes in the garden.

But I do love a sniff of fresh air, and I do love snow.

Midnight Snack
Where is your favorite place to shop?

In one of the other towns in our part of the country there's an english shop.
At this time of year it smells after cinnamon and warm spices.
I love to get lost when watching Beatrix Potter things, and handmade fabric snowmen.

Recipe for this Week
(instead of your recipe for life - what is it for just this week?)

Never, ever accept injustice.
And stand up for children who can't stand up for themselves.

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measles on the rise

november 28 2008

I just heard disturbing news.
Measles (rubeola virus) is on the rise in Great Britain, and I won't be surprised it will be on the rise all over the world.

For all sorts of reasons children aren't vaccinated.
Be it poverty, or a false idea that vaccinations cause autism.

I can't say it enough: vaccinations don't cause autism.
Vaccinations might cause some short term behavioral changes in autistic children because they are not able to understand why the integrity of their body is violated, but they certainly don't cause autism.

In countries without vaccinations often there are no possibilities to diagnose the number of autistic children, but some midwife friends have tried to find out if in the non-vaccination villages there are no or less autistic children. With proper diagnostic skills, autistic children can be found and the number is on the rise.
In villages where children are vaccinated about the same amount of autistic children can be diagnosed.

The person who brought the whole idea in the world about the link between vaccinations and autism has clearly stated that he made the whole story up.
There are no research findings since then that clearly find a link.

So when you haven't vaccinated your child for that reason, please reconsider.

Measles isn't just a chilhood disease.
There are many wellknown complications, some causeing lifelong disability, including death.

I myself didn't even have a bad case of measles, but I had to be hospitalised because it caused earache which resulted in meningitis.

I was cured.

But I've always had terrible headaches near the area that was inflamed worst, for at least 2 to 3 days a week.

One of my present friends got meningitis from the measles too and she also was left with eareaches and meningitis and a leg that doesn't listen to what she wants.

For those who don't know measles here are some facts:

From exposure to first symptoms there are about 9 to 11 days. (incubation period)

The first symptoms include:
tiredness and exhaustion
cough and cold symptoms
painful and runny eyes with swollen eyelids
high fever

About 3 days after the first symptoms the rash will appear.
First on the forehead and face,
then neck and trunk,
and slowly moving down to the feet over three days.

The rash tends to last about three days in each site.

Measles can't be cured, only prevented.

1 in 6 patients has to deal with diarrhoea (might result in dehydration, might be dangerous to certain groups of people)

Complications can be serious:

ear infections,
conjunctivitis and occasionally more serious eye problems,
convulsions due to the fever (febrile convulsions),
pneumonia, bronchitis (1 in 20),
and nervous system may also be affected.

Measles can be fatal or lead to continuing disability.

My friend can't walk properly.

MMR vaccination gives a lifelong protection.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

the continuing story - will this even end?

november 27 2008

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the continuing story - special support? Forget it.

november 27 2008

I haven't been writing like I used to.
The whole situation around school for my son is taking so much energy...
I realised I didn't even have the time to grief over the death of one of my best friends.

I went this week to have a meeting with a legal advisor, who might be of help.
Never ever,with someone that educated, have I been engaged in such a chaotic, useless conversation.
When I went I had my hopes high, to have found someone who wanted to go with me to the meetings with school and keep things straight.
When I went home I could hardly keep my tears away until I was home.

Maybe this woman is great with legal subjects, sure she isn't on the subject of educational law.

Ofcourse I like it when people give me compliments. And I've felt so much support from my fellow bloggers.. but this woman...
She told me I was a lion for my children, how strong I was, and a lot of other things, which sounded aloof and textbook.

She also told me all kids needed to go to school, and she told me institutions do great work with autists.

I don't need someone who stands straight in opposition to what I need to get accomplished.

So that was it....

I'm completely on my own.

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awards awards awards

November 27 2008

Queenmadison presented me with these three awards:

The lemonade award was also given by Lovely Purses.

Liza presented me:

Kimber awarded me with this one.

I want to thank all of you for choosing me to receive these awards.

We all know it's linking madness though, so here are the rules and a list of people who are invited to join in.

The rules:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs.
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

So here's the list of blogs that I came across today and that I like:

Authentic Greek Recipes
Bloggin Mama
Chica and Pumuckl
Coconut Palm Designs
From Ohio with love
Gandalf and Grayson
Happy Caity
Lovely Purses
My Signs of Life
Over 40 and loving it
Steam powered rings

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

10 on tuesday

november 25 2008

10 Things You Want for the Holiday

  1. a good photocamera
  2. some money to donate to some fugitive families
  3. music, music and music
  4. some people around who love singing too
  5. some special ornaments to make the house look even nicer
  6. almost real little windows instead of the large ones
  7. nice dresses for me and the girls
  8. something special to eat
  9. someone who can take over my day to day duties for a bit of time
  10. snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Multiple accounts

november 24 2008

It's the time of year that many people use lists.

I'm not really a list person, because I have to deal with far too many unexpected things, but one of my sons is the perfect stereotypical example.

He can't remember things the way he should, so we learned him to write down as much as possible, and cross off things he has done.

I had the chance to see his list and it ranged from talking to his mentor at school and buying a book and arranging a christmaspresent for his girlfriend and online credit card applications.

Ofcourse I was amazed he talked about more than one application.

So we had a long talk in which he said that he wanted to have one account for schoolthings and insurances, and one for private things.

To save money for the next schoolyear he puts money on the schoolaccount, where he doesn't take anything from except for schoolthings.

He isn't as stupid as he sometimes acts. LOL!

Manic Monday # 143

november 24 2008

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud? What do you talk about?

Almost never anymore, because there are always people at home.

I used to talk to myself to prepare for meetings.
It helped me formulate things better.

What stresses you out?

Everything that has to do with school of my autistic son.
People talking behind my back, knowing myself better than I do. Especially family.

What are your secret talents?

Go ::here:: to read about this question.

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

I'm ill too

november 23 2008

Woke up with an asthma attack and feeling bad.

Not a good moment to get ill, as the flueshot is due on wednesday.
Far too late.

I don't feel like blogging today.

Invested such a lot to get this blog going, but there are almost no paid posts available.
Meaning another sad december. Even worse than last year.
It really gets to me today.

And I refuse to blog for police outfits.
Not for 5 dollars and not for 25.
Let them advertise in their own papers.

Today it snowed a lot and there was a very thick layer on everything.
Now it isn't freezing here anymore, so outside is a dripping concert.

Well, I have to feel better soon, as I can't stop being an active mom.
Wish people didn't need me and I could hide in a corner of my bed.


Saturday, November 22, 2008


november 22 2008

It's snowing!!!

Right now it's cold enough to get a white world, but this morning it was all wet in our part of the country.

But in the south there was a nice layer.

On the newsreport the first part is about that.
When the paramedics come in it's about Germany, \and the snowblown streets are in Austria.


Dreaming of You

november 22 2008

Dreaming of You

1. What did you dream about last night?

I can't remember.

2. Do you often have nightmares?

My whole life is a nightmare, so one can say that the nightmare has me.

3. Do you have any special talents?


I can sing, dance, make music and I'm even able to make a bagpipe sound OK.
I can write and I can get a party going.
Apart from all that I can run a family of 8, with 4 kids with autism spectrum disorder, and I'm not afraid to speak in front of huge audiences.

4. Who is the most talented person that you know?

Pff, I don't know.

5. What did you watch on TV last?

The weatherforecast, because snow was mentioned.
And it snowed today! (It's gone now....)

6. Is there a new TV show that you would recommend?

You'd better ask me which favorite TV show I dislike. LOL!

I don't watch new shows...I'm too attached to the oldies.

7. Who was the last person you phoned and why?

Uh...hmmmm... eh... dunno...
I'm sure it was to make an appointment, because I hardly use the phone.

8. Who was the last person who phoned you and why?

The father of the kids.
He always calls when he's out for groceries, and he always asks a question he knows the answer of.

9. What was the last snail mail letter that you received?

From the department that deals with the legal affairs of my son.
Ill blog about that later.

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Friday Fill-Ins #99

november 14 2008

1. The last band I saw live was my own bagpipeband.
2. What I look forward to most on Queensday, our national traditional celebration on april 30 is the faces of the children enjoying themselves, and our princes and princesses taking part in old-dutch games..
3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is non existent, because we celebrate Sinterklaas right at this moment until december 6, so we celebrate the message of christmas in rather a pure form..
4. Thoughts of worry about money for presents for the children fill my head.
5. I wish I could wear my former balletoutfit.
6. Bagpipes are instruments right for me, I love to play them.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to one of my online friends online after many months of silence, tomorrow my plans include the usual saturday stuff like laundry, cleaning and putting the groceries away. That's quite a bit for a family of 8, and I look forward to see casualty on the BBC and Sunday, I want to find some time for myself and I hope that all those autists in one room won't be a problem and I can spend time without "interpreting", the meaning of what they say and do, for others.!

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

the continuing story - a breakthrough?

november 20 2008

So yesterday we had a meeting with the school of my autistic son.
That is, with a nice guy and the one we filed a complaint against.

I've never been more conscious of my own reaction when giving a hand than yesterday.
He tried to pull all his muscles into a smile, with the ones for insecurity first, and I had no smile at all and was amazed I couldn't manage to pull a polite face. It was neutral, and it seemed like I lost all conscious control.

Rather early in the meeting I had what I wanted.

Ofcourse they wanted him to follow a full program, which he can't.
Then they wanted him to follow a program as an outsider, because they managed to make something for two kids with schoolfobia, who only came in for tests.
My son won't even come in for tests, he doesn't even want to sit in a bus that passes the school.

Then they.... "STOP!!! The school stated last year that there was nothing that could be done, and now you're offering me all sorts of solutions you should have come with 4 years ago??

In the light of my introduction, in which I told we had a legal assistant look into the case, this was a crucial remark.

It was like I shot him.

"It feels like the school never bothered to invest in my son, now I see how much can be done for others."

The meeting went on for a part because I wanted to feed them with information they could need.

Then they guy said that when he called the councilrepresentative he first got a guy who said this and then got a woman who said that.
Yea....those are the ones I'm dealing with too.

So I said I felt they were putting both us and the school under stress, all to get the statistics of the drop-outs low.
He suddenly looked up...
"But the school has to think about the statistics of the school. Why get the percentage of graduates lower, just because they are only watching theirs?
They manipulate people... and I gave some examples.

"Statistics is what I don't care about.
It's my son who should be central in all meetings.
He's disabled and he needs people who care about him, not about some stupid figures!"

In the end it was decided that the school couldn't do anything for my son.

They're not having auti-classes, and my son is indicated for them.
Even more: the psychiatrist of my son has decided that this school is contra-indicated.
My son will never be able to do his exam, because his autism prevents him to do certain tasks, like forming his own opinion based on a texts he has read.
Etc etc.

It was as if we were there for the first time, because this time they listened differently and for the first time accepted that my son can't do certain things.

So it waqs decided they'll tell the council representative that they're not able to provide what out son needs, because he'll be ill for a long time and he won't be able to graduate for different reasons.

I expected to feel relieved when entering the world outside that school again, but I wasn't.

Much depends on how they put matters into words.

It can be from: "parents won't cooperate" to "Boy is unable to fullfill the requirements and we completely agree with the psychiatrist that we're not the right school."

We'll just have to wait.

But I expect that was the last time I was there as a parent.

Now I can only hope they will have the guts to use my expertise on autism.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The phantasy of a higher income

november 19 2008

It was on the news: people who work will be pleasantly surprised this january.
They'll get more income.

On TV it sounded like a huge hooray!

But it's all just s way to keep the spirits up, because electricity, gas and the healthinsurance will rise.

I expect we need more money than we'll get.

But for people who want to dream on it's a nice phantasy to have more money to spend.

Already I can hear them moan when they realise it's not make-up and dresses the extra coins will be spend on, but the regular necessities of western world life.

get a reply to a mail

november 19 2008

Some people want to make an appointment by mail, but they don't reply, so you're never completely sure the appointment is a fixed one, until you see them arrive.

Whenever someone suggests a date to me and I really want a reply to the mail I send because I've added information they should read, I name a different date than was suggested.

Ofcourse they'll reply to set things straight.

Now they can't say they haven't seen the mail.

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Girls, pink and electronics

november 18 2008

It's the birthday of the girls and we're waiting for the oldest to come home and cook dinner.

It's quite festive, even though they're making their homework at the moment.

They got nice presents and were surprised at school by their friends, who had changed their locker into a party itself with stickers and flags.

I'm so glad they're not interested in electronics, but in real girly things like shawls, booklets, hairclips and a lot of pink.

There is a feel of expectancy, not only because a friend will visit later, but also because their is a strike today among teachers and they hope their teachers take part too.
That'll mean they'll be home early tomorrow afternoon, and having more time to spend with their giggling friends.

Isn't life interesting at 13?

a cure for psoriasis in sight

november 18 2008

There's good news for people with psoriasis.
So also for one of the girls.

In the latest issue of Archives of Dermatology I found an article about the indigo plant, Indigo naturalis.

In a small sample positive effects were seen, with less side-effects that the normal treatments with steroid containing cremes and ointments have. Less thinning of the skin.

The improvement was considerable, but the long lasting side-effects of indigo on the liver and gastrointestinal tract should make people hesitant to use indigo.

a special day

november 18 2008

Today is a special day.
It's the birthday of my girls.

One of them is now nearly the same height as I am, and this year she'll be taller.
The other will finally get the privilege of being different from the others, measured against my height.

I wanted to give them something special, but due to the lack of extra money they'll get the usual presents, like a scarf.

For one reason or another google ungoogled me. Maybe I was not posting enough about travelling, learningdifficulties, lifestyle or networking, but there's enough going on in life to blog about.
"daily life" is interesting enough in our family.
There are other subjects I cover regularly: education, autism, health, furniture, shopping, kids, parenting and a lot more.

Due to the lack of appreciation by google and the economic recession, and because I was so stupid to belief that my own domain would be at my advantage my wallet is showing a huge empty darkness.

Well, I can only hope google spiders this post and assumes this is a better blog than all those blogs full of advertisements.

Maybe then Sinterklaas will be a better one than last year.

BTW: Sinterklaas is the dutch version of Santa Claus.
Our guy is much older.
This year he arrived last sunday and like all other years he'll stay untill the 5th of december.
That night, for the last time, he'll leave presents for children of all ages, and goes back home to celebrate his birthday.

I love this part of year, or rather, I used to, when the children were little and we were able to put a little present in their shoe almost all evenings.

I also love it, because it takes a lot of commercialism out of christmas, making it more the special celebration that it is.

awards, medals and prizes

november 18 2008

I'm completely ready for an early morning rant.


Because people hand out awards and there are so many rules attached to it that it takes me at least half an hour to complete it all.

That's not giving me an award.
That's forcing me to link to your blog and write about your blog.

I don't mind writing about good blogs, but I don't want to be manipulated into that, even not when the manipulation is sugarcoated.

Interesting is, that I certainly would link back when you would have given me an award without strings attached.

But that's how I am.
Just wait until I give something for free and you'll get what you want.
manipulate me into it, and you're in for a disappointment.

I'm sorry.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Manic Monday # 142

november 17 2008

Do you believe people are basically good?

Yes, I do.
But I guess I'm too naive, falling too quick for people who smile.
I've been disappointed by people so many times, I should know better.

So maybe it's more that I want to believe that people are good, and that I forget that people develop away from basically good.

After all the experiences with some people at the school of my autistic son, I'm witholding myself a bit more.
I don't like not to trust people. It's stressful.

If you could change the custom of shaking hands, what would you replace it with?

Well, people before me have changed it into kissing three times.
I'm OK with doing that with friends, but with strangers?

Now shaking hands feels artificial with some people, but I'm perfectly OK with that.

Maybe I like to change it... with some people... by simply standing with my hands on my back and making a little movement forward to acknowledge I've seen the other.

What is something that you enjoy that is a chore for most other people?

I can't think of anything else.

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Ooooowwwaaaaahhhhhh Ikea!!!!!!!

november 17 2008

With the couch we bought a footstool of the same material.

Putting the cover over the couch wasn't a problem, so I thought it wouldn't be a problem to put the footbench together.

bottom part...
a huge cushion
a cover
and a cushionpart on the wood.

One cover? the cover there's a part for the topcushion too.
No entrance though...

From the corner of the eye I saw a zip inside. Just when I was thinking to take the toppart apart and sew the whole thing together after putting the cushion in.

In the meantime one of my sons, the handy man, came in.
With two we hardly got the cushion in...
I told him to go and do his things, because the cushion needed to settle.
When he was away I managed by hanging on it, to get it in rather well and zip it up.

My son came back and tried to put the cloth of the cover over the wooden underpart...

Hanging on wood doesn't help!

Ooooowwwaaaaahhhhhh Ikea!!!!!!!


november 17 2008

Yesterday the father of the children had a very bad day.

He doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that he's displaying more and more characteristics of autism with more and more intensity.

Keeping up appearances at work takes so much effort, that at home not much is left for us.

He used to work at a department when lost of writing needed to be done.
After the reorgansiations of the last months he's at a department where he needs to deal with collegues a lot more.
The result is a lot more stress.

Because this is reflected in the way he treats others and misinterprets what other people say, I've dealt with psychiatrists of the children, the schools and the council all on my own.
He only criticizes, never gives a compliment.

There's not much at home he needs to do, but getting the groceries is the main part.
That his work uses all his energy is quite clear: we're missing often products that are on the standard list.
Which leads to even more stress in the home, because my autistic son has very rigid eating habits.
But not only the kids deal with his mistakes. No washing up liquid, no vegetables... it starting to get normal.
But I can't step in all the time. (Well, I can give up blogging......)

Yesterday he suddenly told us he was going to the library.
I'm slowly changing the livingroom to fit the new couch.
The measurements are different from the booklet. (That's when you buy cheap things.)
I asked him when he would be home.

"After dinner"

"Huh? Spending all afternoon at the library?
You said you'd make dinner."

"No, you make dinner on a sunday. Other women at my department do that too."

I've been through that a few weeks ago and I didn't like his reactions, so I choose the way that was quite appropriate at the moment.

"I cook all week, even when there's nothing to cook with.
I can hardly stand 5 minutes at the time, and you don't even want to help out?
It's a day to day struggle to get your laundry done, and I can't even take the time to go to a doc to get my back checked, and you won't lift one finger on a sunday?"

I didn't tell him to rot in hell, out of fear of the awful smells, but when I could be convicted for my thoughts I would spend the rest of my life relaxing in jail.

He went.

I told him to stay away as long as he was not able to see that I can hardly walk, hardly stand still, and hardly do all the work in the house I usually do, he'd better stay away.

He came back before dinner and cooked.
Threw too much salt in it...
Luckily not in the food of the children.

Later in the evening he told me that I was a lousy childraiser.
I should have taught the children to do the work in the house.
"Yea, like you're taught to lend a hand..."

Later in the evening I fell over trying to get some laundry on one of those indoor laundrythings, injured my arm to bleeding and he acted just like he didn't hear a thing.

He said he had more insight in situations, but suddenly stopped talking because he would request a remark like: "then you take over".

I saw he was thinking to lash out verbally once more.

"Ohhh, noooo, you are not going to say that I'm to blame for the autism of the children.
You have told me enough that the youngest son is autistic because he sat on my lap far too much before his first birthday.
I've had enough stupid remarks for one day.
When you want to lash out more, go outside and find a blind wall.

I've dealt with enough of you today.
When you want to have your laundry done, you'd better behave like a part of the family.
You won't see me do that part of my unpaid job here untill I'm treated with respect."

This morning I woke up with pain in my teeth and jaws.
Grinding my teeth again in my sleep.

Who wouldn't?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

unconscious mutterings

november 16 2008

1. Please stop :: and think.
2. Move over :: and be quiet.
3. Sweet as :: honey.
4. Bet :: rewrite it to bed, and I'll claim it.
5. Mad about :: everything.
6. It’s over :: and out.
7. Intend to :: go on housekeeping strike.
8. Blame :: my back.
9. Jefferson :: Jefferson Starship.
10. Heartless :: and not caring at all.

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caregiver's honor

november 16 2008

It's the beginning of a very dynamic week.

The girls celebrate their birthday on tuesday,
my autistic soon needs not only attend sportclasses twice, but he also needs to see his psychiatrist.

Right after that appointment, his father and I will be heading towards the school for a meeting we'd rather not want. Not before the council has taken the decision there is no need for him to go to a school that isn't able to meet his needs.

I also need to go to the doc, because my back is still killing me and I need to make an appointment with the dentist.

And I want to write the mayor a mail.

In the paper he wrote an nice piece about the day for caretakers, or a better word: caregivers.
It was last week.

He said that he enjoyed his time at their special day and he was impressed by what they all do to care for others.
Everyone who was there got a bouquet of flowers and a bookcoupon.
That beside a good backmassage, music, coffee and the whole lot to give them a pleasant day.

To my feeling the real caregivers were at home.
They were taking care of elderly, their disabled children or other family members or friends.
Their day was just as any other day: full of stress, care and too many hours for nothing but, maybe, a smile.

My non-paid job is to take care of 4 children who need a lot of extra care.
One of them needs one-to-one constant attention.

I feel the day of caregivers is only for those who can leave the house, hand over their duties. So people who can relax at times, have some distance, and who can supplement their loss of energy.

But the day should be for those who can't leave their houses.
Who can't feel their house is a home anymore, because they live for others and can't fullfill their dreams or daily longings.

They are the ones who should get a present.

I'm not sure I'll tell the mayor I want to be surprised with a gardenhouse, so I can be available within a second, but can also feel away from it all.
That I too want a bookcoupon, or a cup of coffee with one of my favorite writers. He's welcome.
No need for a bouquet of flowers. Most of them make me sneeze.

I'm OK wit a medal.
One of caregiver's honor.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Kiss and Tell

november 15 2008

Kiss and Tell

1. Who was the last person you kissed?

One of my daughters.

2. What are you wearing now?

Soft beige trousers, a red T-shirt and ofcourse flipflops.

3. What is your favorite meal at a fast food restaurant?

French fries and something made of meat you can't buy in other countries.

4. Are you a morning person?

Noop... evening and night, that's my time.
But I do like to be early in spring. I like it outside early in the morning.

5. When you were young, what career did you want?

Ballet dancer ... and I made it!
Ballet teacher ... did that too and when someone would ask I would start again immediately.
Choreographer ... Did that too and loved it, but there are too many younger people who are cheaper or who are studying and need a place to try out, so I'm not working anymore. Well, that is. My nice asks me to make at least 3 pieces a year for her balletschool.

6. Do you have a thing (it can be just fantasy) for a blogger that you read?

Like being a secret lover? No.

7. Do you wear jewelry?

Right at the moment not, but when I go out or get visitors I wear small earplugs, a pendant, and rings.
I love silver jewelry and extravagant vintage stuff.

8. Do you wear perfume or cologne? If yes what type?

Never cologne, and almost never perfume.
Only when I really feel like it.
I have some sorts, mainly quite natural fragrances like rose and lily of the valley.

9. Do you think about sex a lot?

For me that's knowledge for you that's a guess. LOL!

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my breakfast

november 15 2008

1. Between breakfast, lunch or dinner, which meal are you most likely to skip on a typical day?

None of them.
I'm a diabetic and I can't deal with skipped meals.
When I can't eat at a certain time I start feeling unwell.

2. Do you prefer a hot breakfast, like oatmeal, or a cold breakfast, like cereal?

Oh no!
I eat peperkoek. It's a kind of gingerbread.
Just one decent slice and when I'm really hungry two.
That's all I can take in the mornings or my bloodsugars rise sky high.

3. When you’re in the mood for a big breakfast, what do you typically crave?

Cakes, muffins and all sorts of local specialties that are certainly not allowed and would shoot me into hospital if anyone would find me in time.

4. Take the quiz: What kind of muffin are you?

I'm the chocolate chip muffin.
I'm perfectly alright with the muffin, yummy, but not with the description. So I'll leave that out here. LOL!

5. What are you more likely to cook for yourself for breakfast if you’re alone: a stack of pancakes, a waffle, or grits?

Cook for breakfast? That's not done here,

6. What’s your favorite beverage to drink with your breakfast?

Coffee. Everyone knows, so now you do too.

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Friday, November 14, 2008

Food 4 Thought Friday

november 14 2008

What are you looking most forward to in the next week?

That the meetings of wednesday are over.
Have to go to the school of my autistic boy knowing they want to force me to sign an agreement I won't sign.


What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Run to become America's first female president without an american passport.
I'm ready for the responsibility, my children are old enough, and I know far more about america, international politics, ecomomy etc etc. than Palin.


If you could choose to get rid of one animal on earth, what would it be?

I think my blog will be cancelled when I name the person.

Midnight Snack

If your life were a made for TV program, would it be a reality show, documentary, sit-com, cartoon, drama series, or a talk show?

It can be all of them.
In fact I'm amazed I haven't been asked by one of those Hollywood producers.

Recipe for this Week

(instead of your recipe for life - what is it for just this week?)

Stand up for what you believe in.
The wellbeing of children goes before anything else.

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Friday Fill-Ins

november 14 2008

  1. Please feel free to ask for my paypal, LOL!.
  2. When I bake something with cinnamon I can't help sniffing it occasionally.
  3. My favorite thing to cook is soup.
  4. Positivity and music is something I can't get enough of.
  5. That's the thing I love most about being able to sing and make music, it's always available.
  6. When I'm sporting I don't mind how I'm dresded it always makes me think to myself, what the heck?
  7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a painkiller to easy my backpain, tomorrow my plans include motivating the rest of the family to help and Sunday, I want to have the livingroom done for the birthday of the girls on tuesday!(Hence the paypal in one. I was just thinking about which presents to buy.)

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the continuing story - a bill!!!

november 14 2008

We haven't had any information from the school since my autistic son dropped out of school.
We didn't even get a booklist, or a letter in which group he was expected. Nothing at all!!

And they dare to send a bill.

Oh oh my bloodpressure... supervulcano!

It's a bill for 135 euro.

- extra material
- daytrip
- printed paperwork
- parents organisation
- material for artsclasses

So we paid each year for daytrips he didn't take part in.
We paid for a parents organisation that doesn't even know he excists.

He never ever followed artclasses, because it's so chaotic there that he can't cope at all. (And the teacher is afraid of autistic children, so it has never been a problem.)

And the extra material? They never bothered to give it to him, and he didn't dare to ask.

So this bill is a nono.
And the others that will come too.

Am I angry!!!!!!

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

tai chi of nature

november 13 2008

This week was far too busy, so I was happy to go to tai chi.

Now the girls are going to another school I almost never come in that part of the neighbourhood.

The sun was shining, but it was rather cold.
The ducks on the lake were making lots of noise, and the fake heron was still standing in the garden of the posh house. Some people are very rich and they still use plastic figurines to create an illusion.

The group was little today, but that didn't matter.
We worked concentrated on a couple of exercises.
Last week one of them was a real fat burner, but today the theme was moving the weight of the body from one foot to another.

Being a former balletdancer it's kind of fun doing tai chi.
The focus is on very slow movement, performed in perfection, whereas ballet is perfect movement in the speed of the music.

When I went home I felt more relaxed then when I went, and the warm sunshine on my face added to it.
The sun created turbulence above the lake and the birds went in circles almost without effort.
I could see they enjoyed themselves.

The steady movement in silence,
tai chi of nature.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


november 12 2008

Prompts are:



Behind the blush of sunset
the cold of the night reaches full quiver
when the tenderness of the moon
breaks the dark sky

silence crumbles white
under my feet

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The Queen Elisabeth II

november 12 2008

The famous ship: Queen Elisabeth II has left Great Britain on her last trip to Dubai, where it will serve as a luxury hotel.

Last summer I went with the girls and the oldest of my first daytrip in oh so many years.
I knew the Queen Elisabeth II was in the harbour of Rotterdam, but not in the part the touristboats usually go.
Because all papers wrote about it I assumed the staff of the touristboats would be proud to have such a famous and tremendously large ship in their harbour.

As I already said years and years that I want to make a trip through the harbour again, we all did.
And I was right.

Suddenly the captain switched off the tape with tourist information and took over.
We went to the part where I hoped to go and we sailed not only past the Queen Elisabeth, but we sailed as close as we could.

It was amazing!

Such a majestic ship towering high above us. Immense!

What an experience.

Not lost, not late.

november 12 2008

Sometimes the children expect too much from themselves.

One of my boys often gets lost when he goes to a neighbourhood he has never been before.
No google map can prevent that! (But mom can!)

And I'm sometimes faced with busses that are not on time, but get delayed, making me feel stressed because I'm too late for an appointment.

Since a few weeks I have a system here at home that everyone likes to bits.

I have bought a roll with white little stickers.
On it I write the name of the person who is waiting, and the telephonenumber.
And I stick it on the cellphone that goes in a bag or in the pocket of the coat.

It's so very easy to phone and tell that you're lost or that you're caught in traffic.

It works for my children and me and I'm sure it'll work for you.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The storm and waiting

november 11 2008

Isn't it a pity to sleep right through a storm?

When I went to bed I was looking forward to listen to all the noises, but all I heard was a big thumb that woke me up a few hours later, and I fell asleep again immediately.
Only when I woke up in the morning I realised there had been a loud noise of something fallen.

Well, I guess I'll never know what it has been.

Right now I'm waiting for a late evening call or a mail.

Tomorrow we'll have an appointment at a new school for my second son: my son, his social worker and me.
She asked if it would be helpful when she came to collect us, because it's rather far away.
I mailed her with a very easy place to collect us, so she doesn't need to drive and search here in the neighbourhood.
Didn't get an answer.

Phoned...nothing either. Just her answering machine.

All I can hope she'll contact us, otherwise we have to go by bus, which will take one and a half hour to get there instead of 20 to 30 minutes.

So keep your fingers crossed she'll listen to her messagebox and calls me.


november 11 2008

When you're easily offended, don't read.

Isn't life full of contradictions?

Not all of them should be, however.

Some can be solved by people with an open heart and the wish to share what they have.
Some van be solved by taken the responsibilities that should be the natural consequence of their actions.

Yesterday many people blogged about refugees.
I've read such wonderful posts that I didn't have time left to write a blog about it myself.
(No, I didn't feel bad about that, because I stand up for them as much as I can by confronting those who make the decisions about these people: politicians.
And yes, I know I make more people aware of the lack of hospitability and human treatment of many countries.)

My country houses many refugies from all sorts of countries.
The years that we welcomed them with open arms I felt happy.
Sharing what we have and allowing people to better their lives in a safe environment was something a normal human being does.
I enjoyed the richness of culture they brought, and I've learned a tremendous lot about all sorts of areas of life.
It has made me aware that it's important to acknowledge we're all world citizens, especially in the present, now the borders fall away at internet.

To me it's natural to welcome these people in my country.
They have not choosen to be born elsewehere, and I can be lucky to live here.
It's so simple. I could have been one of them.

But many countries have closed their borders and don't want more fugitives in the country than a small amount.

Interesting is that especially the countries that take up arms so easily, that interfere in other countries with their warmachine, have closed the borders for fugitives.
Their "helping out" only stretches to trying to kill as many people they consider a threat for their own countries.

Help? Aid?

Come on!

Armies send on peace missions?
With fully loaded guns and air force back up?
Building schools by bombing large areas?

By keeping the people in the country they're bombing, not allowing them to flee the war?

It's veterans day...

Well, maybe that's why fugitives are not allowed to enter the countries that made them into fugitives.

So there won't be a confrontation.

The fight for freedom of some world countries is about their own freedom to do what they want, not about the freedom of the countries they attack.

Monday, November 10, 2008

My monday today

november 10 2008

Went with my second son to have a look at the new art academy.

I felt at home when I walked in and now I have a strong feeling of wanting to work there.

I don't thin it's the place for my son to start a professional carreer, but when the school we're going to visit is nothing, I'm sure he will choose this academy.
We're unable to afford it, but with lots of effort I think we'll get a grant for him.

When we were still talking I got a call from home.

Again my autistic son was driven to the edge by his father.
I heard him on the background, and his father kept on talking.
No way I was able to use the moment he was taking a breath. He wasn't, lol!

Then finally I told him we were still in the academy, and he hung up.


On my wau home I saw a doll in a second hand job.
Porcelain head, etc etc.

My son and I threw all our coins together and we had just enough for one.
There's another one and he'll get it tomorrow when it isn't sold already.
We asked the woman in charge to put it aside until tomorrow, but she refused.

Well, that was an impulse buy. The first one in ages!!!

When I arrived home all was quiet.
My son felt rotten about what had happened.
He was unable to find socks.
They're always in the same drawer, but hej, some autists invent the world each day again.
Ironically enough, his father had forgotten about that drawer too.

I wonder whether I'm the only sane person in our household.

When his father came home again, I told him that in no way I was interested in hearing what had happened and I certainly didn't want to hear how stupid the children are as that drawer is used for his socks too for over 20 years!

Today is the day for the caregivers.

Well, I can't be away from home for three hours.
I'm needed.

Why does that feel so rotten?

Manic Monday #141

november 10 2008

What was the first thing you thought when you looked at yourself in the mirror today?

"Oh my dear! Who is that????"
Then I decided that I wanted another hairlook, so I cut part of my hair, so I'm back to may favorite asymmetrical look again.
(Yes, I always cut my hair myself.)

Do you have a recurring nightmare? If so, explain.

My life is a nightmare, so my sleep is like many people's daily life: boring. LOL!

List three foods you can’t stand:

Brussels sprouts
Certain chinese herbal and spiced mie, some people here at home use. It stinks!
Cooked cauliflower.

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Mama Africa has died

november 10 2008

Mama Africa, Miriam Makeba has died today.

For me she was one of the people who enabled me to be accepted with my taste of music and my songs.

I used to sing African songs, but people thought it to be odd and strange.

Then suddenly a little African woman found her way on the international charts and people started to like the African rhythms, even though they were very westernised.
People got more interested in African culture.

Miriam Makeba was banned from her country because she was against apartheid, but she returned in later years.

I think she was 76 years old.

Always I will remember her impressive personality, her smile and above all: her voice.

May she rest in peace.

the continuing story - my letter of today

november 10 2008

Because the schooldocter asked us if he could support us in any way I decided to write a text about the whole situation, stressing the fact that we've had enough stress and that we want the council representative to stop forcing us to deal with the former school of my autistic son.

I used the chance to vent, and I hope he can use parts of it on our behalf. LOL!

I also stressed that I can give him education at his own level, without school.

The school will have a meeting about my boy.
How can they, without knowing his present condition?

I hope that this whole situation will end soon.

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Sunday, November 9, 2008

unconscious mutterings # 302

november 9 2008

1. Coverage :: reporting
2. Cynical :: sarcastic
3. Gust :: of wind playing with leaves
4. Improvised :: created on the spot
5. V :: two v's are a w, still the english call it a double u
6. Guests :: for my autistic son: invaders in his home
7. Brutal :: the guy who attacked me in the street a few years ago
8. Grant :: wish I got one to travel overseas
9. Pull :: and push
10 Streaming :: media

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It's remembrance day in Great Britain.

november 9 2008

The sound of the souls
whispered in the winds
that passed through White Hall.

We remember them all.


It's remembrance day in England.

Even though I live in The Netherlands, I always feel very touched by the ceremonies.

My father served in the Royal Air Force during the war, and so did the chaplain who always visited my parents, and when I married also visited me.

They both have died and left their stories in the past.

But they didn't leave their friends unknown.
I've heard many stories about friends who never returned.
About airplanes that never touched the english soil again.

Not only the war itself changed them.
Their family was at home, heavily bombed and suffering oppression of the Germans, who forgot that the border was so near and that for the war they welcomed all those people in their shops and restaurants as friends who they during 5 long years treated as dirt.
Knowing that the family suffered so badly from fear, lack of food, lack of rest and safety, they helped to end the war as young men and women do.

The war changed these both men.

Their stories have made a lasting impression, and in a way I felt hurt that yesterday evening at the ceremony no one represented the WW2 foreigners who served in the English Army during WW2.

The war has changed me too.

I've heard so many stories, I've seen so much grief, from both people here and people who served in the army, that it has made a lasting impression.

Both my father and his friend, the army chaplain, made my heart reach out to those who lost their lives during WW2, their friends, their men.

So I'm touched, each year.
Keeping the remembrance for their friends and men alive.

I've told my family that I want to be in England at one of the remembrance ceremonies next year.

Anyone who can help me, please let me know.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

So Far Away

november 8 2008

So Far Away

1. Where is the furthest place that you have traveled and how far away from home is it?

Hmmm... I think it's Italy. Naples or maybe even more south.
I don't know how far away it is.
It's on the other side of Europe, 2 days travelling.

2. What is a blog that you would recommend for us to read and why?

There are so many good blogs, so I'm advising you to keep surfing.

3. What is the biggest surprise you ever have had and was it a good one?

Biggest surprise........

That my husband turned out to be someone who only lives for his work and for no person at all.
I expected my marriage to be teamwork, but I'm standing completely alone.
No shoulder, nothing.

I deserve far better.

No need to say if this was a good surprise.

4. What is your favorite quote? (We know we've asked this recently. But there is always another great quote! :)

Throw the man out with his socks. LOL!

When you have something to give, people want to be your friends.

5. Have you ever been hospitalized for a major health situation?

When I was 4 with meningitis.
Later when the children were born, which was high risk for the children because of rhesus antagonism.
And because of cancer in the lining of the uterus.

6. Do you prefer long hair or short hair for yourself?

I prefer long hair, but it won't grow that long. LOL!
So I have it somewhere in between, and a bit shorter when I feel the need to cut my own hair.

7. What was your favorite amusement park ride growing up?

I like the spooktemple, and when I was younger puling ropes.

8. How long do you talk on your phone on a typical day?


I've done away with the normal connection when email was invented.
Well, I guess it was a bit later, but I certainly was among the first in the country to rely on cellphones.
I was bullied so much by phone that I needed an answering machine all the time.
And people thought I was available all the time. Well, I wasn't. Not with 6 little children.

When people need me they can mail.

Only my closest friends have my phonenumber.

We have a special phone here at home when we need to make a phone-appointment with someone.
So friends can reach me even when I don't want to be reached by others.

9. Other than Saturday 9, what is your favorite meme to do each week?

Depends on the questions.
I like Manic Monday too, and I absolutely loved Friday's Feast and now Food 4 Friday, and I loved Scrumptious Sunday, so when you all want to Mercedes to keep it alive, please help me and go there and comment.

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No gaps in my knowledge

november 8 2008

Because the questions are put online when I'm already to bed, I'll play a week later.

1. If you had to fill in as a substitute teacher at a local middle school, what subject would you be most comfortable teaching?

I don't really mind, because the subject I was worst of the school ever was the subject I had to lecture at university: mathematics and statistics.
I guess I was ripe enough to get the proper knowledge by then.

But I would love to teach "society knowledge".
It's the subject where pupils are told about important matters in society and they learn to form an opinion and to debate.

2. When you were in school, what was a better indication of your true understanding of what you were learning: class participation, the accuracy of your homework, or your test scores?

My homework was a better reflection, because it showed I worked very hard.
Sometimes tests didn't take into account the exceptions on the rules and I would give the wrong answer because I was trying to fit in the exceptions somewhere.
Often teachers didn't know the tiny details and I had to object against the scores, talk about it and then they would be changed.

3. You meet someone for the first time and have a brief conversation with them. If you run into them the next afternoon, how likely are you to remember their name?

Well, I can keep it untill the next afternoon.
30 years later I will still remember the face, but I would know the name only in about 30% of the cases.

4. Take the quiz: Do You Have Gaps in Your Knowledge?

There Are 0 Gaps in Your Knowledge

Where you have gaps in your knowledge:

No Gaps!

Where you don't have gaps in your knowledge:








5. If you had “gaps” in your knowledge, did you expect to have them where they were predicted? If you had none, which of the listed subjects would be the ones you’d most expect gaps to be?

Well, this was general knowledge mainly.
I would expect gaps in chemistry.

6. If you could go back to school for one semester free of charge and “try again” with any subject, which one would you choose and why?

With my former teachers?
French, without doubt.
Now I wouldn't be too shy to dream away in his eyes. Woohoo!!!!

But without the former teachers I would go for chemistry, finish it, and get a medical degree.

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One word

october 4 2008

~One word~

One Word
To Start A Sentence Or Statement
~Fill In The Blanks~

As Toni gave the questionmarks,
I made questions.

1. Why don't some people care for the feelings of others?

2. Could you please give me a million so I can make some dreams come true?

3. Today I've sang all the songs from the musical South Pacific, didn't you hear me?

4. Going home, what does that mean for you?

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Buttons are constructed on people when they live. Autism is inborn.

november 8 2008

Now there's so much publicized about autism I meet many people who know it all.
Even the media embrace without criticism people who claim their son or daughter suffers from autism, and especially those who claim to have found a cure get a place in the centre, right in front of the camera of microphone.

They are presented as beacons of hope, whereas they're in fact they're lights from hell burning on earth.

Firm words, I know.

Why I used them?
Because I want to warn people.

Children who have autistic features (or autistic characteristics as some people prefer) are not necesarilly autistic or suffer from an autism spectrum syndrome.
Braindamage, due to hypoxia during birth, a car accident or a disease, can cause symptoms that mimick those of autism, without being autism.

The effects of autisticlike features caused by a carcrash can be reversed.
That's why miracles seem to happen.

So my advice, as a specialized psychologist, is to listen carefull to the stories people tell.
Seizures are not a feature of autism, for instance.

It's nice that people stand up for autistic children and their parents, but bringing the message of miracle cures, of success of the effort to heal their child, give some people the idea that parents are not doing all they can for their children.

I've had that feeling too.
It was like my sons have a button somewhere that needs to be pushed and I can't find that button to delete their symptoms.

And even more painful: I've been told by people I'm not dealing with the autism of my sons right, because they only improve so little over time. I'm not only a lousy mom, but also a failing psychologist.

Sorry, buttons are constructed on people when they live. Autism is inborn.

The other day I read about cerebral palsy.
It was a historical account, telling about the early days when the diagnosis cerebral palsy couldn't be verified as well as in this century.
People only needed to exhibit a tremor and panic was created.

Now cerebral palsy is a well described clinical diagnosis, with a clearly structured treatment.

I'm sure we're headed that way too, and in due time we're freed from the socalled miracles people bring in the news.

I'm looking forward to it.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Food 4 Thought Friday

november 7 2008


What are you most grateful for at this very moment?

That the girls are doing well at school. That they enjoy themselves there and that they never complain about the early mornings.


Did this week's election results leave you feeling optimistic, pessimistic, or neither? Answer even if you aren't a U.S. citizen.

Some of the questions I've asked myself when choosing between the candidates:
Is there someone who can do it better?
Is the person capable of staying there full term and even stand straight during a second term?
When I, living in The Netherlands, ask questions by mail about subjects that are of international importance, do I get an answer?
Which of the candidates will be able to give people a feeling of purpose?
Which of the candidates presents his plans throughout the campaign in a consistent way?
Which of the candidates is able to lead the USA and keep an open mind about working together with other countries without looking down on them or belittling their efforts?

Soon it was quite clear that Obama was the man who has the most characteristics of a true president.

He had choosen the right people for his campaig. He stayed calm and focussed, and nothing made him loose his temper.

When the results came in I had a moment of fear McCain and his page might win, but then Obama pushed straight through.

We were as happy as the americans.

Today I heard that maybe Robert Gates might be the man for the defense post.
For me the first sign of bad judgement.

The man has attacked and insulted under Bush so many times the European allies, that people are less open and will have the feeling the european efforts are not valued.
Americans want respect for their culture, well we want respect for ours.
So it would be better Obama chooses someone else.

So my positivity is less at the moment.

I think a man as Obama can do a lot for America.
Whether people will see that the first years is to be seen, as the credit crisis can't be stopped just like that.
It also depends on how fast he's able to influence Bush in his decissions. Officially we all have to wait untill january, and then were further down in the problems I fear.
So Obama has to take the country out of a deep pit and it'll take a lot of effort to get things leveled out.

When he won't use his power to better himself I hope the Americans will get one of the best men of the last centuries. He's very talented.


Name five meals you repeatedly have for dinner over and over.

Spaghetti, potatoes with spinach and egg, potatoes with salad and meatloaf, hutspot, baked potatoes with fish and vegetables.

Midnight Snack
If you had a robot to help around the house, what three jobs would you have them do? What are three jobs you would not let them do?

Vacuuming, cleaning the toilet and cleaning the kitchen (for hygienic reasons cleaning the kitchen first.)

Not: tidying my room, doing the laundry, cooking.

Recipe for this Week

(instead of your recipe for life - what is it for just this week?)

Keep your calm when other people don't.
Always keep in mind what you want to achieve and go for it.

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Friday Fill-Ins

november 7 2008

  1. My blueprint for success includes insight in what you want to achieve, how you can achieve it and perseverance..
  2. Licorice was the last candy I ate.
  3. The best facial moisturizer I've ever used is suncream from Yves Rocher.
  4. Humor can be good therapy.
  5. I'd like to tell you about a way to put more hours in a day, but I can't.
  6. Problemsolving is my strongest characteristic.
  7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to my bed, tomorrow my plans include finishing and sending a letter to the schooldoctor of my autistic son, doing the laundry and more of those chores and Sunday, I want to relax!

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the continuing story - in motion again

november 7 2008

I was already preparing sentences in my head to send a new mail to the school of my autistic son to remind them that they asked me for an appointment, not the other way around. And that we're still waiting for that appointment since our letter of september 26 2008.

Today I got a surprise: a letter from school.
Stating they needed to review the case at school, because things were very complicated.

Why not involve me?
Why now? It's started in august!!

For those who are new: my 4 sons all deal with an autism spectrum disorder.
One of them with classic autism.

He's dropped out of school because he couldn't cope.
He was suppossed to go to an auti-class at another school, but after months it turned out there was no place.
All children here have to go to school by law, unless they're too disabled.
The council representative decided that he was not too disabled, because he's autistic and there are auti-classes (ignoring there is no place).
We filed a legal complaint, because they should have informed themselves by an independent expert, which they didn't.
We're now waiting for an invitation to be seen by an expert.

Homeschooling is forbidden, unless one of part of certain religious organisations who are extremely strict.
I'm not, and I won't lie about that.

In the meantime the old school, where my son was traumatised because they hardly did something for him, because the coordinator considers autism the result of wrong upbringing, had to offer us an educational plan.
It was completely unacceptable.

I asked for a new plan and an appointment... still nothing.

Because they want to review the case at school first.

Which is interesting, because they just don't know what he can and can't.

Yesterday I had a talk with the social worker of one of my other sons and she offered that she or one of the others of her organisation could go with me to the meetings.
I welcomed the offer.

We've been troubled by the council representative for almost a year now.
They keep threatening to bring us to court, thus trying to manipulate me into decisions which are not the best for my son.

Well, let's say it keeps me sharp.

But the stress became so big that I had to watch my own health too.

Ofcourse I asked some people for help.
The schooldoctor for instance.
He answered and asked information, but did nothing.

All of a sudden he mailed me today.
How things are and whether I still need help.
He told me he heard from the council representative matters were still not settled.


So they've taken up the case and are talking about us again.

My question is where he's spoken the council representative.
If it's at the council, then why?
And if it's at school, they're in big trouble as they need my written permission to talk about the case.


Logo made by me with tubes from Outlaw by Design.
It's not permitted to download.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dona Nobis Pacem

november 6 2008

No. I'm not blogging about peace today with a wonderful graphic on top.
It's not about the graphic, not about getting extra visitors.

I don't care how many people read this and surf away to another blog. They forget that wonderful graphic within a minute and my message is already part of the past before the other site is fully loaded.

Oh, I've been as idealistic that I thought I had to shout out my message of peace to the world.
In fact I would do it all over again if I thought someone would want to hear it.

But people are so busy with their own lives, so fulfilled of their own opinions, of how good they are and their country is, that I'm just a single source of noise in the silent dessert.

So I've decided to bring my message to the world in my own simple way.

I educate my children to behave peacefully, and I teach them tolerance and solidarity.

The basis for peace is not the pointed gun, but understanding.

When you share your bread, you won't fight over it.

I've felt kind of lonely when my kids were at primary school, because I was about the only parent who told them not to hit another child back.

I taught them that revenge is one of those false feelings that only cost yourself a lot of energy. When feeling revenge and act on it, you lower yourself to someone you don't want to be.

In a way I'm lucky.
I live in a country where the army is not seen as something special.
We need it to defend our country. But in reality we're just so little that we're soon outnumbered, lol!
Working in the army is just a job, and a soldier is only a hero when he saves the life of another person with a huge risk if being killed himself.
We don't attach the prestige to the job like other countries do.

So in a way it's easy to say I'm against war completely.
Many people here agree.

Participating in the wars of others only costs us.
We don't have an economical advantage, on the contrary.
We don't have the culture of army wives and families.

It's important for me to explain our children the history of our country and why we have our own way of dealing with the army.

Our country was occupied during WW2.
People suffered badly.
The Germans killed so many people that many families suffered the death of family members.

Mistake bombings took away lives too.
5 family members were killed when the americans bombed our city by mistake.
I grew up between people trying to deal with that loss, between their memories, pain and traumas.


That was what I was taught.

My father was a silent man. Served in the British Royal Air Force as a very young man.
Only later I understood how he suffered from the feelings of having been part of the warmachine.
I've had long talks about it with him and his army chaplain who lived near us and who loved to come here and bless my children like he blessed me when I was little.

I want to know how my dad was in the army, or before.
But I can't find anything about him. All paperwork appears to be locked away in the british archives.

Because of WW2 my family never was completely at peace.
And in a way I'm still suffering the effects, because it has taken away part of my father.

What hurts me is that people try to disguise the effect of war by calling army men and women heros.
That people are proud to be fighters.

Well, I'd rather be a fighter for peace.

Dona Nobis Pacem.

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