Sunday, October 26, 2008

A dear friend died last week

october 26 2008

My schoolfriend died of cancer.

At first her symptoms were ignored, then labeled wrong, and when the doctor finally took matters serious the cancer was spread from the ovaries all through her abdomen.

She fought a battle of 7 hard years.

We enjoyed the story of Don Quijote very much and we knew all the songs.
Her fight remembers of it.

The last time I saw her was at the school reunion.

She told me she wanted to change jobs and she wanted to do something with children, but also something in the medical world.
I knew a vacancy in the hospital and told her about it.
She has worked there ever since.

When we tried to make some appointments at the end of the reunion, she told me she didn't want to see me any more.
Not because she didn't want to, or didn't like me, but because she wanted to focus on her work and children.

People were amazed and I felt hurt.

But I respected her wishes.

Now I know why she didn't want to see me anymore.
I worked with cancerpatients at that time and I think she wanted to spare me the suffering of a close friend.

She has always been in my mind.
The memories about our time together are still fresh and happy.
I still hear her voice far away, like I often heard her talking when we had a break and all the pupils were together in the large schoolhall.

I've missed her, because I respected her wish.
Would I have known, I wouldn't have respected it at all.

Now I will miss here even more.


  1. Sorry to hear you've lost a friend.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Hang in there.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose a good friend.

  4. i'm sorry to hear about your friend. cancer is really scary.

    enjoy he rest of the weekend.

  5. Our most sincere condolences on the loss of your friend.

  6. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

  7. That is such a sad story. Your friend was very brave to spare you the worst times. At least you just have good times to remember.

  8. Sorry to hear the loss of your friend. May she rest in peace.

  9. I'm sorry for your loss.

    I understand how you feel. My neighbor was suddenly diagnosed with cancer and she did not want to see anyone but family. My family had lived next to them for 30 years and we are very close. She died 3 months after being diagnosed and we never got to say goodbye. We still feel like we haven't had closure. It was closed casket as well, which makes saying goodbye more difficult.

    Her reason was that she did not want to be seen like that. We respected her wishes, as you did, but it was hurtful and very difficult when she passed.

    We still miss her terribly, but we have a lot of great memories of her full of life and vitality.


  10. I'm very sorry for your loss. I can understand both how you felt and how she felt. My mom fought ovarian cancer for four's a horrible cancer and there's no early detection test, so oftentimes it's too late when a woman is diagnosed.

    Hang in there and know she spent her remaining time doing what made her happy.

  11. Hi Laane,
    So happy to meet although I'm sorry that it's under such sad circumstances. I'm so sorry for your loss. A truly sad story but one that I fear happens fairly often.
    Hope you had a lovely w/e. Hugz!!

  12. I'm so sorry about your friend.

  13. Sorry to read about your loss.

    A good friend of mine died of cancer when he was only 32 years old.

    He left behind a wife who was 8 1/2 months pregnant.

  14. Very sorry for your loss, I lost my grandfather earlier this year.

  15. I'm so sorry this happened. I hope you find the strength to come through this sad time.

  16. Sorry about your loss! I just lost one of my best friends to throat cancer - she didn't know about it until a month before she passed. I wasn't a good friend to her as she wanted to be closer with me but I was always too 'busy' working... I have horrible regret over this.
    My nephew has Asperger's Syndrome - seems like Autism touches almost everyone :(
    Take care, feel better - sending {{{hugs}}}

  17. Sorry for your loss, Laane. But just think that at least she's not suffering anymore. 7 years is way too long a time to linger and suffer.

    May her soul rest in peace.

  18. So sorry for your loss. October is a hard month for me too. Remember the good times and hold your loved ones a little closer.

  19. Sorry for your loss, she was a hero to battle for 7 long years. My grand granny died of cancer within a single year and it was a difficult year. Your friend had a brave and generous heart to fight for that long alone not wishing anybody to know about her disease and get hurt. Let she rest in peace.

  20. hello Laane,

    I am really sorry for your loss. I am sure your friend is in a better place now.


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