Saturday, September 27, 2008

What didn't leave the house is still inside, unless it has legs and uses them

saturday 27 september

Dealing with autism on a day to day basis is a challenge... to say it in a positive way.

I'm happy the oldest of the boy has moved out, so we deal only with part of the problems anymore.

Yesterday it was clearly not his day.

Not only literally, because he didn't show up.
First he made an appointment with his brother to come here in the morning, later he moved it to the afternoon, told me he stayed for dinner (when I asked) and had to leave before 20.00 hours, and then suddenly he would come today.

I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to it.

He promissed a friend to repair something and he forgot.
So the friend asked me if they could get the item back, so I mailed my son with the request.

Well, there's the problem.
He got a very bad mood (one of the reasons he moved out) and I guess it's because he can't find the item.

In the past we've had terrible searches in the house for things he lost.
I tried to enjoy the searches as a way to clean everywhere, so all in all it would be a positive experience.

But I can't remember how many times I had to put everything upside down, only to hear him tell me that he reminded where he'd put it. And 99% of the times that was not here.

I hope he was able to get out of his trouble with the help of one of the caretakers, but I'm not sure whether he tells them what's going on in these cases or not.

I'm glad I've learned during the years to stay calm in those cases, even though I feel hurt sometimes by the things he says.
My adagio: "What didn't leave the house is still inside, unless it has legs and uses them."

It comes in handy when one of the other kids with autism spectrum syndrome gets in a hype because something is lost.

Search systematically.

No need to throw things around trying to find something.

  • Think where you had it last. Search there.
  • Then search where you usually put your item.
  • Search under it.
  • Pockets of trousers and coat (Not necessary when you can't find your bag!)
  • In your bag. (Comes in handy when you've lost your bag. LOL!)
  • Tables
  • Bathroom,
  • Beside and under the bed.
  • At the place of the couch where you usually sit and the toilet
  • Then search larger areas: your room
  • The kitchen
  • Livingroom etc.

Special instruction when you've lost the key of your bicycle: look first if it's still in the bicycle.

It works!

And if not, my house is cleaned. LOL!


1 comment:

  1. Good that you tried to enjoy the searches as a way to clean everywhere. Yes often it happens with me too that the bike key I am serching for is itself lying on the bike itself.


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