Saturday, July 19, 2008

dealing with the mail and the threats

july 19 2008

After receiving this letter, I took the time to calm down and to take some decisions.

Would I give in and go to the appointment next tuesday?
No one to watch the kids, not knowing the opinion of the psychiatrist of my autistic son, rather unprepared?

How come the schooladvisor was so central in the appointment?
Isn't it about us?
Aren't we all equal partners in the care for our son? Or even better, doesn't the councilrepresentative have to check with us first before inviting others?

How is the relationship between those two?
Do they have informal contacts?
Are they by phone, by mail?

I decided to ask the schooladvisor if the date was really stuck at tuesday, or if he was more flexible, wording it in such a way that he could decide to get in contact with the council representative
Adding to the mail some very personal remarks, like that I feel the council representative doesn't care about the fact that the vacation is the bussiest time of the year, with all children at home all day.
I even added some info about a decision we've made about the future.

In the meantime I wrote a concept of a mail to the council representative about the fact that the father of the children can't come because he's needed at work.

Next morning I had an angry mail from the council representative.
I should have checked with her to change the date.
It was not true she didn't care about our vacation...

I guess you're getting it!

So I wrote her that asking her to change the date without asking the person she puts as most important would be silly.
My idea had been to ask him.
If he wouldn't have been available at a later date I wouldn't have asked her to postpone it, but would have informed her about the fact that it was only me coming.
If he would have informed me about some later dates, I would have put them aside my agenda and then I would have asked her to change the date and I would have given the data we would be available.

I also used the mail to inform her about some facts, like the fact that we didn't ask the old school to unsubscribe him.
That's because she can fine us or bring us to court for not subscribing him to a school.

I also asked her to send us her questions so we can be better prepared and bring necessary paperwork.

Ofcourse I asked the schooladvisor whether he'd send her our mail.
He said he didn't.

Well, I'll know at the meeting.
When she knows about our future plans she has read that mail, or they have spoken about more than he's told us, violating our confidentiality and the privacy laws about using contents of mails.

I also mailed the schooladvisor to make clear that she's clearly manipulating people. Using him to put us under pressure.



I don't feel happy about dealing with this all this way,
but now I know a bit more about their relationship.
I've also revealed she's manipulating people and doesn't hesitate to use a government representative to get her things done.
She knows I know, and I hope she now knows she needs to stick to ethics and the law.

I can only hope this all doesn't turn against us.
In that case I'm going to file a complaint about her behaviour.

Oh, I so hate to deal with people this way....
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