Thursday, June 19, 2008

when a baby dies

june 19 2008

One of the footballers of our national team was called away yesterday.
His wife was pregnant and rumours were that he was called away because of that.

Today we heard his baby was born 4 months early and died.

It's so sad.

A few hours later we heard he will be playing against Russia next saturday.

The show must go on.

Ofcourse life goes on.
But for those parents life has come to a stand still.

Working for over 20 years with parents like them, has learned me a lot.
One of the things is that many fathers are very strong to support their women, and to proof to society that they are a force to reckon with.
It's like they won't allow themselves to experience the grief, and the demands of society provides perfect excuses.

The strongest fathers were the most at risk to develop problems about 18 months after the event.

At that time the people around them have forgotten that a child died, and the vague physical complaints or terrible behaviour, or psycho-social problems are not linked to the event anymore.

But grief always finds a way to express itself.



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