Tuesday, June 10, 2008

a new day and how I cope

june 10 2008

A new day.

People often ask me how I cope.

Well, I take each day as a new beginning.

That's why I like spring so much.
I walk into the garden and see new flowers and leaves, and that power of nature nurtures me and embraces me.

My garden grows abundant around me, which in a way makes me feel standing apart from the world.

It's such a huge basis for the day, to experience something outside myself that is bigger, more powerful than anything a human being can create.

Ofcourse I cry when something hits me straight in the face, or when I'm too tired.
But something in me prevents me from diving into the pit of self-pity.
So upward it is!!!

Which means that one way or another the energy of the bad feelings is transformed into a drive that makes me think about how to improve things.

I'm very critical, and I can complain, which means I should also offer something in return. Just that little bit extra to change things for the better.


I don't know.

Maybe because there should be a balance between things.

Life here is so difficult compaired to other parents my age and with that amount of children, that I need to be aware that the equilibrium I find in nature also works in my life.

Or am I just telling myself I'm still in control?

It's a thought.

But I'm not really a controlfreak.

The only control I want is over dinner between 5 and 6, and over the laundry, so I won't wake up one morning sleeping on the roof because the laundry has filled up the whole house.

One way or another, the whole situation of yesterday has made me almost finish a plan to improve matters for parents of autistic children here in town.

I have to add now all those extra's that makes my ideas seem pomp and prestigeous.
Like bidding on the market I have to add, and let them take away it all, so they feel happy and I have what I want.

It's politics.

So you won't see my face on a plaque on the wall, present for eternity.

It's just the smile that's left, when I go to bed.
Almost prepared to face the next day.

1 comment:

  1. Laane thank you for the beautiful comment. It truly made me smile. Take Care!


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