Monday, March 31, 2008

Many years ago my little daughter died.

march 31 2008

Many years ago my little daughter died.

She was not ready to be born, but her spirit moved away before I could hold her in my arms.

It was early morning when I went to hospital, knowing I had to give birth to a baby that wasn't alive anymore.
The misty waves crept between trees and shrubs, the traffic went slow and some trafficlights didn't work for unknown reasons.

The feeling of surreality stayed with me when I entered the huge hall of the hospital, carrying a secret no one could see and no one would see.

The long corridor was sliding away under my feet, like time was slipping through my hands.
I was going to give birth, without happiness, without life, not knowing how this would change my life, transform me.

Oh, the nurses were kind, almost unseen.
The gyneacologist a friend, who was afraid to look me in the eyes.

But it was not his fault part of nature left me on a dark lonely evening.
He was only the observer.

While the morning sun swept away the moisture of the night, I waited with a drip in my arm, a book unread on the table.

Hours went by. Soft feet. A few hesitant smiles.

The contractions started.

A new doctor counted my pulse and started to speak words that were meant to comfort, but he sounded like a hoarse crow scraping it's throat in the early morning.
I was not in for a fight to keep my own feelings dictate my actions, I didn't want to be polite and take the feelings of other people into account.
Not today. For once, not today.
So I asked him to leave, never to come back.

I didn't need to be told that most pregnancies end well.
Being a mom of 4, I already knew.
Being a mom of a deseased baby I also knew the grief to come.
No boy of 24 with acne and trembling hands while counting my heartbeat could easy my pain with booklet words and wisdom.

All what was conforting was that many women before went through the same and survived.
I knew I would become a better mom for my other children, and more aware of nature, of life.

The clock counted the hours, until we counted how long the contractions lasted.

Then she was born.
She was beautiful on my hands.
There was no room for tears, because even in death this little baby brought serenity to my life.

Half an hour later I was rushed to the OR.
I was nearly bleeding to death and there was no room available.
The 5 minute wait was almost too long.

Later I was told it was a miracle I was still alive.

To me that was science, a good gynaecologist and the gift of donorblood.

The miracle was that this little dead baby has changed my life.

Now reason, no war, nothing can be an excuse to kill people,
because the silence of death lasts longer than any war ever will.

manic monday

march 31 2008

What is the sexiest part of the body?

Hmmm... I don't think about myself that way.
I've been told my eyes, so I'll stick to that.

If you kissed a frog, who would you like it to turn into?

Depends on who or what I need that day.

I've been terribly in love with Ron Ely, the Tarzan of the sixties and seventies.
When I saw him years later I was surprised I still fell for him. Observing him I realised he's a combination of my first love, my secret love and someone I sure would have as a friend or more.

So I wouldn't mind the frog would turn into Ron Ely.

What do you have stuck up on your refrigerator right now?

I don't like to have things on the refridgerator.
I have tried sticky notes on the fridge to act like everyone else, and I just forgot to look.

I have a noticeboard in the kitchen for groceries, at the toilet for leaflets and such, and one near the stairs for schoolthings and drawings and such.

Appointments land in my agenda.


that's my answer - final words

march 31 2008


It’s the last day of March, do you have any final words?

Well, as time passes no words are really final. LOL!

But I guess you want some closure of something, and a fresh look ahead.

To me march is always a time of looking forward.
Spring is already signalling it's arrival.
I love to be able to walk into the garden early in the morning, and see the dew on the flowers and leaves.

Winter wasn't much of a winter.
Only easter brought us some snow.
We've had the normal storms, but now even sleet as other years.

So I'm happy to let go and look forward.

Each month brings new events, new promisses, new challenges.

There are so many things needed.

For the first time in ages I decided to save some money for something for me.

At first I wanted to get enough money for a trip to the wedding of a friend in Malaysia.(I haven't been on vacation for over 20 years, so it was a good idea.)
But soon it was clear I would never get that together.
Then I decided to go for smallpipes.
Well, I guess I have to wait more.

So let's hope next month will be better.

At least it's starting to become spring.

So let's go to april!!!

Internetconnection and computers

march 31 2008

It'll be fun the next days.
Some friends are without internetconnection, as is my oldest son.
Guess where they use the computer...


Well, one of them has promised to help one of the children with a paper for school.
That'll really make a difference.

I'm happy I'm not the only one here in the house with a computer.
One of the boys is away from home all day, and he's given them the opportunity to use his computer.

Aren't my children sweetiepies???

that's my answer - either/or

march 31 2008


Coke or Pepsi?

Well, none of them. I hardly ever drink cola.
Only when I'm ill... it gets the rust of screws and it gets the illness out of me. LOL!

Late Nighter or Early Riser?


I'm a real late nighter. I have to be very tired to be able to sleep.
Problem is that our family starts the day at 6 in the morning. Ugh!!

Cell Phone or Ipod?

Give me an Ipod and I'll give you Ipod as an answer.
I have a cellphone and I use it, but certainly not in public places.

College or High School?

I went to university. Social sciences.

Blurking or Reality TV?

What's blurking?
I like reality TV when it's a medical program.
I don't care to see families fighting about their problems on TV.


recycling plastics

march 31 2008

A few months ago our neighbourhood became one of the very few test areas of recycling plastics.

We were very enthousiastic, because we want to do all we can to prevent pollution and useless waste.

That the container was too far away was a bit of a trouble, because it turned out that plastic tends to need quite some volume.
We found some ways to prevent shops to put more plastic on our groceries than absolutely needed and we created some ways to deal with the volume.

Now we're saving quite some money, because we're not needing to dispose of so much household waste anymore.

Two weeks ago the children went with school to the waste incineration facility to see what happens with our waste.

No word was spent on how plastics are recycled.
Luckily one of the boys wrote a paper about the subject a while ago, so they could present the subject at school.

We have strict rules for what needs to be in the plastic container and what not.
That's because the High Density Polyethylene is the plastic they want. That means: bags, bottles, films around food and some other products, and plastics like we know as Tupperware.

The first step in plastic recycling is sorting the usable and unusable plastics, followed by cleaning, drying, and a thorough control to remove the contaminations that are left.
Then the plastic is cut into small stripes and flakes.
These are shipped to places where they either used them to directly manifacture items, or they are made into a sort of pellets/lumps which are shipped to factories.

Recycling plastic is contaminating the environment too, so be aware why you use plastic.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Scrumptious Sunday

march 30 2008

Theme for Scrumptious Sunday


Oh yes, I ate cookies well before I was able to create memories.
I guess I ate a lot of them, because people didn't know yet that fatcells are created long before they are able to fill themselves and the body of the owner.

I was a very slim girl, with a pale complexion. Eh...fair, they say nowadays.

Well, whatever.
I was thin.. like a match.

My first memory of cookies is when I was about 3 or 4, at my grandmothers home.
She always made them herself.
And they were delicious.

I know her secret.
She told me over and over again when we were in her kitchen, mixing the ingredients with care.
A little bit of vanilla, a little bit of rum, good eggs and above all: good butter.

And a real oven.

The wait was always a pleasure for the nose and a preparation of the tastebuts.
We made tea, cleaned the mess away, opened the doors to the garden in spring and summer, or poked up the coals during the winter, so the warmts spread and took the smells everywhere in the house.

And then we got them out of the oven, put them one by one on the rack to cool and dry, but never ever without taking one, throwing it from one hand into the other, blowing, untill it was just colled down enough to have a bit and feel the taste spreading in our mouth...

Cookies are best when they're made with love.

Now you know the secret too.

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Saturday, March 29, 2008

saturday special

march 29 2008

~Time Tells All~

  1. It's 1:00pm on Sunday and I'm usually
    just ready watching Country Files with the children and having lunch
    at this time.

  2. It's 6:00pm on Monday and I'm usually
    having dinner with most of the children
    at this time.

  3. It's 9:00pm Wednesday and I'm usually
    trying to get the girls to sleep
    at this time.

  4. It's 4:30pm on Friday and I'm usually
    making dinner, blogging or bussy with other things, like dreaming about traveling.
    at this time.

First signs of spring

First signs of spring


Friday, March 28, 2008

schoolmusical (s)

march 28 2008

The girls had to audition today for the schoolmusical.
They were quite nervous, because they didn't know what to expect.

They're both singing in a choir, have 6 years of experience on stage with ballet,
so they knew they wanted to go for the main parts.

Ofcourse they had a peek at the first auditions, to get an idea what to expect.
Then they quickly practiced a song and created a dance with pillows, large flowers and veils.

Already it buzzed through the groups that only the names of the best would be written down.

They both felt they did well, and saw their names written down during singing.

The names of those who will get the main parts will be announced next week, but they already know that they're in for a least the songs.

The schoolmusical is always a bussy time here.
The oldest played the main male part in his year. He did marvellous!
He had some great coaches to mold his stage presentation and he showed talent to remember all those suggestions and use them.
I completely forgot it was my son on stage.

We tried to motivate him to become a member of a theatregroup, but he never wanted that. What a loss of talent!

In the year my second son left school there wasn't a proper musical.
Instead we saw him take part in a professional dance performance, which was wonderful!

My third son got one of the 4 main parts in the musical.
He too showed he'd inherited the familytalents.
The doll he made and had to carry with him only disappeared from the table to the attick last month.

When my autistic son was in his final year, we all thought it wise he would hand out the leaflets at the door or stand behind the cookies and fill the plate whenever necessary.
They completely forgot him!!
He still feels hurt, because no one bothered to say sorry.

And it still gets to me whenever I think about it.

And now it's time for my girls.

One of them has the same teacher as my autistic son had.

I hope I can keep my mouth shut.
I'm sure it's better not to ask her not to forget my girl. LOL!

friday's feast

march 28 2008


What does the color dark green make you think of?

The woods/forests... and the end of summer.

I grew up near the forest and often played there.
In spring the fragile leaves were light green and they turned to firm dark green leaves at the end of summer. It always made me a bit sad to see the season pass into fall, because I couldn't play there anymore.


How many cousins do you have?

I don't know.
My family is at one side very, very large.
When my grandmother died we lost contact, because we had no place anymore to host all of them.
I have at least 15 cousins.


On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how honest are you?

Sometimes I tell a white lie not to hurt someone.

Main Course

Name something that is truly free.

My thoughts.

Even love costs.


Using the letters in the word SPRING, write a sentence.

She Proudly Ranks Innumerable New-York Gardens.
Some Parents Raise Innocent Nice Girls.

Fitna by Geert Wilders - part 2

march 28 2008

I've seen the little movie of Geert Wilders, called Fitna.

Well, in fact it presents nothing new than what he has been telling the world all the time, the difference is that he now has visualised the threats and the consequences of attacks.

I felt like watching a German propagandamovie from WW2.
And I heard the music of Grieg, which was used with the post-war movies showing the destruction caused by extensive bombings of cities.

Even though I was aware of his goal: creating fear and suggesting all muslims are ready for violence and destruction, my mind was slowly bend into tunnelvision.
I experienced the fear he wanted to create.

He sure knows how to use the media!!

The movie itself was a quick gruesome sequence of shots of attacks like 911, Madrid and London, and muslim leaders and leaderlike figures screaming oneliners about destruction of non-believers and muslims conquering the world.
Because these people where filmed while making the statements, and not misquoted or talked about, the movie was kept within the boundaries of the law. (Unless they haven't given their permission to broadcast what they were saying.)

We also saw headers of paper-articles, all suggesting that the country will be taken over by muslims.

Ofcourse texts from the Quaran/Koran were cited, and Wilders showed the Danish caricature.

By the time his "list" was finished I asked myself why he kept this movie secret for so long.

Like before he's trying to divide the country, setting people up against each other.
I know there are terrorists and extremists, they are everywhere, and they have been part of the history of almost all nations.
I'm OK by exposing them and warning us.

But making the woman and her husband at the schoolgate into a couple of criminals against the safety of our nation... I'm sorry. I can't and I won't buy that.

I'm afraid young people won't be able to relativate this movie, and it will lead to events none wants.

Like expected Wilders was ready to be interviewed.
He was in a very good mood, being almost fatherly for those questioning him.

Let's say that that part of the movie worries me most.
The part that is not recorded as an integral part of Fitna.
Wilders infecting the minds of people.

Our minister-president/prime-minister has made very clear to the national and international media that the government distances itself from this movie and the opinion of Wilders.

It's not the religion that is responsible for the gruelsome acts, but individuals. Most of their victims are muslims.
Like me, he says that the feelings of many people are hurt by this movie.

For me this movie makes clear that we have a choice.
We can either let one person dictate our feelings and actions, so we will live in fear for something that is blown out of proportions,
or we can choose for a more peaceful way of living.

I'm sure there will be lots of debates the next days.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Fitna by Geert Wilders - part 1

march 27 2008

The movie Fitna, by Geert Wilders has been released.
"Finally", some say, as he announced the movie months ago.
"A day too early", others sigh, because tomorrow a judge will have a close look at the release of the movie.

One way or another the movie has already caused a lot of turmoil before people knew the contents.
This is due to the fact that Geert Wilders has a very outspoken opinion about Muslims, without making a distinction between people who live a modest life, trying to be a good human being, and extremists who are as outspoken as he is, but ofcourse standing at the other end of the continuum.
He even doesn't make a difference between extremists and terrorists, thus creating fear, misunderstandings and intolerance.

Problem is that by making his disrespectful statements he triggers reactions from people with a completely different cultural background.
Just like Wilders doesn't understand the Muslim cultures and views them from his own frame of mind, the other side sees someone without knowing what goes on in our society and culture.

The people in my country have been declared unwanted. We have been declared enemies, and it's said we should be killed.
It is clear this is said without knowledge of the fact that a large part of our country consists of Muslims.

We were told to prevent the release of this movie.
But how?
We have freedom of speech and expression of opinion. The main part of the inhabitants of The Netherlands are able to enjoy this freedom without any disrespect for the opinions and beliefs of others.
Just a small minority can't handle the responsibility that comes with freedom, and Geert Wilders is one of them.

He exhibits his lack of knowledge and respect with the selfishness of those who strife for utter power. The power of those who declare others with a different opinion to be stupid, enemies, just because they can't bring themselves to even minimal understanding of what someone else feels and thinks.

The law of freedom of speech grants open discussion about matters.
Our law also prevents to forbid publication of something when the content isn't known.

We could only imagine what the movie of Wilders would be about...

But ofcourse we had an idea, and ofcourse we hoped he would show respect for other cultures.

A while ago a journalist kept the whole world waiting for his movie: Peter R. de Vries.
Wilders copied him precisely. Keeping the movie to himself and not even enabling the Prime Minister a look.

But we Dutch wouldn't be us when we didn't have our own way of showing Wilders movie was unwanted.
He wasn't able to buy broadcasting time, and he sure wasn't able to use any of the TV channels to publicise his creation.

Oh, he got some offers... "Show us the movie first, and when it's within the boundaries of the law....".
Wilders declined. He wanted noone to cut in his movie.

So finally he put his movie on internet......
Like a you-tube creation.

It's a 15 minute thingy that won't load properly on my fast connection.
So maybe half the world is looking for a reason to act on the threats that have been thrown to my country. To people who don't like Wilders and don't want the movie at all.

To be honest, I'm curious. And I also want to know why people who have never taken the chance to know my country protested on the streets, burned our flag and yelled that we all will be killed.

I'm trying to see something for 30 minutes now.

All I've seen:

a warning for very shocking images.

An image showing the wellknown Danisch caricature and a clock counting backwards.
Then a text from the Quran/Koran.
Images of 911.

I think I have to wait for the rest.

As soon as I'm able to report something, I'll let you know.

Questions can be put in the comment section.

Snow at easter

march 27 2008

This easter has been amazing.
We've had snow and snow and snow, and even yesterday we were surprised by a white world.

It has't been as cold at this time of the year for 40 years and maybe more.
Never before we were surprised by so much snow.

At some parts of the country even 10 cm fell, which is a lot here.

It's freezing now.

I'm afraid a lot of fruitbuts won't survive, which will drive up the prices of fruit this summer and fall.

Maybe I have to try to take a branch from the apple tree of the neighbouring garden and ent it on a stem here in the garden.
Has anyone experience with this?

Well, for next year we'd better sing:
we're dreaming of a white easter! LOL!


Wednesday, March 26, 2008

the truth came out

march 26 2008

The truth always comes to the surface, one way or another.

The "present school" of my autistic son reported him and us to the council because he wasn't attending the school he was supposed to go to.

(I'm writing "present school", because here a child needs to be subscribed to a school. He is, but he couldn't cope there anymore. So he's not attending any school.)

Well, we didn't have a school for him, as the school with the auti-classes didn't admit him after all. (After a wait of three months).

So we contacted the "present school" and found out they expected my son to go to another school in another town. They were told he would go there.


Again I was told I understood things wrong.
(Yea...I'm a fully trained psychologist, I've been lecturing observational and other techniques, was known for my memory of written and spoken material.)

I thought there must be something in the reporting of the school with the auti-classes, so I gracefully tried to solve the matter by asking a written report about the procedure.

We got it in the mail this morning.
Turned out the person has been in contact with the out of town school, without our permission, but also without telling us as much.
When she mentioned that school before, we immediately told her that that school wasn't an option at all.

Instead of telling that to the "present school", she only told what she wanted us to do, not our reaction.

I wish people kept matters straight and clear.
Now we've been reported to the council on the grounds of not sending our kid to a school where he should be subscribed, whereas he isn't subscribed there.

I'm getting sick of this all.

Well, talking about it reached the ear of my autistic son...
School is a problem-item at the moment so we've had again a melt-down.

I'm not sure how long anymore I can handle all these people who only play fair for themselves.

Wish I had enough money to start a school for autistic children here in town.
So many parents go through the same and it really eats energy.
And for what?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

heads or tails - surprise

march 25 2008

HEADS - Surprise

This week's theme made me think about the biggest surprise of my life.

Apart from realising that I was in love with someone long after he had left for America, the biggest non-material surprise was that the man that was such an addition to my life, who was so very quiet, turned out to be a man with PDD-NOS.

To my surprise he stays at home from work today, which means I have to keep him and two of his children who have also an autism spectrum disorder apart.
They can't understand each other, which irritates both sides.

Well, let's hope today will be a aurprise and all will go well.

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Scrumptious Sunday

march 25 2008

Well, second easterday is a sunday here so:

Theme for Scrumptious Sunday


OK, we talked this weekend about cakes.
We saw a little boy on TV, eating his birthdaycake without hands, or anything else but his mouth.
It was hilarious.

Our oldest had a birthdaycake with whipped cream.
It took ages to make it beautiful.

Then I put it in from of him...
and he was afraid of it.

Luckily I realised it might be the whipped cream,
so I took the other cake I'd made and which wasn't decorated yet,
and he liked it a bit better.

He poked in it with his fork and that was it.

No photos of a kid with a face full of cake.

Not at all.

Now we have to laugh about it, because we know he's got asperger syndrome, but then it was a bit of a disappointment to see my child being different from others.

Want to take part too?
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march 25 2008

randomness...feed your mind and your blog

This week marks the 100th post of 'randomness'
Here's this weeks questions, and have a Happy Easter everybody.
A set of random questions:
  1. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
  2. What shampoo do you use?
    for red hair
  3. How do you like your eggs?
    soft... but that's a risk
  4. What's the first thing you do when you get online?
    right now I had a look at the International Space Station
  5. What is your favorite tv show?
    As the world turns, Casualty and Holby
  6. Which do you prefer, the sunrise or the sunset?
    Depends on the time of year.
    Mainly the sunset, because I can see part of it.
  7. When is the last time you went to the mall?
    Can't remember, must be two weeks ago.
  8. What was the last food that you ate?
    a sandwich
  9. What is your favorite animal?
  10. Do you collect anything?
    Giraffes, anything to do with bagpiping, fountain pens, little houses, things for dollshouses 1:12 and 1:24 and strange coffeepots

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Monday, March 24, 2008

So sad.

march 24 2008

Apart from being ill this easter hasn't been festive.

A friend lost her grown up son in a fire last week, which really made me feel sad.
My heart goes out to her.
She was so proud of her children, and she was right to be.

They were hardworking, handsome and very altruistic people. A great example to others, and she has lost them both. Far too young.

On died a few years ago in an accident, and now her other boy in a fire.

I can't do anything for her.

Missing my two little babies is so far different from missing people who have left so many memories around.

I can only hope she will discover that they are still near her, even though she can't see them.

that's my answer - three things

march 24 2008

march 14 2008


This weekend I ate too much candy, went to see Horton Hears a Who, and ran five miles. What three things did you do this weekend?

I had the flue to I kept quiet
I got another virusscanner on my computer as the year of paid Norton was over.
I ate too many chocolate eggs.

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unconscious mutterings

march 24 2008

  1. Money :: wealth

  2. Unhappy :: tears

  3. Joking :: fun

  4. Chipmunk :: cartoons

  5. Date :: nice guy

  6. Slideshow :: dias

  7. Chicago :: New York

  8. Lifetime :: forever

  9. Skid row :: ?

  10. Edward :: Edward II - Birmingham Royal Ballet

want to take part too?
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that's my answer - WHAT´S THE QUESTION?

march 24 2008


Here’s my answer, what’s the question?
Oh no, I couldn’t possibly have another.

Want another painted easteregg?

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Friday, March 21, 2008

friday's feast

march 21 2008


Given the choice, would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

The country.
I grew up near the woods and I've missed it ever since.
I'm lucky to live near a lake, where I can see the stars at night and enjoy some quiet, but I would love to live near the mountains.

Scotland would be fine.

Untill then I'll enjoy my garden.


Who is the cutest kid you know?

Haha!! When I choose one the other 5 are all over me. LOL!
But the twingirls feel the closest. Maybe because they don't have autism spectrum disorder.
One of them is very handsome and the other is....cutest.
Oops, I've said it!!


Fill in the blank: I couldn’t believe it when I heard ___________.

Have to think about that...

Main Course

If you could star in a commercial for one of your favorite products, which one would you want to advertise?

Smallpipes. LOL! Never seen a commercial on TV though.


What type(s) of vitamins and/or supplements do you take on a regular basis?

I take vitamins because I have an aminodeficitdisorder (say that fast 5 times. LOL!).
The vitamins keep me alive.


Some good news.

march 21 2008

Some good things happened this week, and I'm very glad, because the scales of life needed to be a bit more in balance.

The psychiatrist of my autistic son was completely happy with the choice of school for him.
We won't know if there's place untill may, but we can take it from there.

Because my son will be at home for some weeks we took the chance to completely change his medication.
It was needed, because the Risperdal caused a tremendous weightgain and a hypothalamic disregulation, resulting in continuous hunger.

I'm glad we took the chance.

I asked him if he could help us to get a dyslexia declaration without the enormous costs.
He jumped on it and arranged that my daughter will be checked for ADHD and dyslexia. Resulting in the so much needed declaration.
Because it's a psychiatric consultation with neuropsychological assessement it's free!!!

I'm so happy!!!

I hate puberty!!

March 21 2008

We were waiting for a signal that our traveling son would be in the country again.

And it got later and later.

The girls fell asleep. They couldn't wait any longer. They had been so happy he was coming home.

Then finally he phoned that he was 10 minutes from school.
Meaning we couldn't be in time to fetch him.
But his oldest brother went through the terrible weather to help him with his bags.
He took him to his room, gave him dry clothes, food and a drink, and was trying to arrange to get him and his bags home as dry as possible.
Meaning that we all would be waiting at the bussstation with plastic and raingear.

But he didn't come home.

He first went to his girlfriend, without even a call home.

When he arrived home at midnight he was disappointed that everyone but me was asleep.
He'd imagined the homecoming we had prepared him, hours ago.

Problem is that he reacted in such a way that I feel bad his homecoming wasn't more pleasant.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

three word wednesday - Her Life

march 19 2008



She was caught in the web of love
long before she knew the difference between drifting carelessly on attention
and enjoying the comfort of a soulmate.
She lost herself in his refined playfulness,
untill he took her childhooddreams and everything she could become.
In a last fragile attempt to gain control for those she loved
she asked him for money to buy a crib with dreamy lace and fluff,
but all she got was a second hand bed that collected her tears.

Untill that morning, when she found her baby,
tangled between the sheets and the blanket,
like nature had woven a cloth to show her her fate.

The blue-grey face rested in her hands
when suddenly she understood that nature paints the stories of lives
with large strokes on the canvas of the earth.


works for me - filing a complaint

march 19 2008

Have you ever filed a complaint to find out you're mood was still below sealevel after all were forgotten your complaint? All, but you, I mean.

When I file a complaint I want three things:
1. a better mood, NOW!
2. my complaint read and discussed
3. proper action

I've been told that a complaint should be short and to the point!


When a complaint is short and to the point, the reader will say to himself: "That doesn't concern me", and at the best throw it in the mail for another reader.

I write my complaints like they're the biggest joke ever,
when I have to laugh when I send my complaints, I have already realised one of my goals, And that makes me feel sooooo goooodd, that I ring a week later when I haven't received an answer, and i still feel confident I'll solve the matter the way I want.

And it works.

Last week I was fed up with the noise in the neighbouring house.
I can understand noise,
I can also distinguish unnecessary throwing of doors, bumping on the stairs, driving a motor inside (yes, I saw one of the workmen do that), yelling on the street before 8 in the morning, etc etc.

But I don't understand a temporary toiletbuilding right in front of my house, smelling right in front of my house, attracting young aggressive people right in front of my house.

So I got a funny mail out.....
and today I got the person who represents the houseowners in.

It's a few hours later.

The toilet is gone...
the noise is gone...
the motor in the house is gone...

And I managed to save the trees in the garden too.
I made the guy ring the office and cancell the plans to cut everything off at eyeheight, like they did in the garden at the other side a year before.

Wow!!! That feels sooooo gooooooddd!!!!

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Update schools: mom is mad!!

March 18 2008

As a psychologist I'm interested to see how people turn and wiggle to cover up their mistakes.

As a mom it makes me very mad, to see that people are going behind my back, and are dishonest at the expense of my credibility and my son's education.

Instead of asking us how things are going the schoolcounsellor went behind our back, and got misinformed.
Instead of saying that she was, she tried to talk herself out of it...putting the blame on someone else... and creating a picture of me as a liar.

We've asked the school with the auti-class if there was a possibility to admit my autistic son there for schooldays in combination with him doing his final exams at the former school.
Well, those who read my blog know they didn't want to.
Case closed.

We got some suggestions to get him into some kind of educational situation, which were all crap.
One of them was a school in another town, needing special admission papers to get it payed for, with a system that grants my son far too much freedom to do nothing and required him to ask all the questions and help himself. On top of it, it has the same final examsystem as the auticlasses, so he wouldn't be able to do his exams this year.
So enough reasons to say no.

I would have known if the woman had suggested that socalled school together with exams at the former school.
It would means stress of travelling, stress of everything, adjustment and exams within a period of 2 months... if ever we would get the paperwork done within days.
So an impossible suggestion.

Now the schoolcounsellor is telling that the other school suggested that.
Forget it!!

A meeting is planned in april with the schoolleader, and I think she very well knows that meeting will blow the roof of the school.
I don't want my son to go to school there anymore.
One of the reasons is that they told us they were dealing with him based an a kind of IEP (individualised educational program) whereas she had quite a lot of meetings about making one and she never came up with one.
She magically produced one when we needed the paperwork done for the auticlass, and everyone knows she faked it.
To be precise...she's seen my son this year only once... one of the reasons he didn't want to go to school. They just didn't care.

I hate it when people start lying and playing unfair.
All I can do is expose them.

On top of it I got an insight in the costs for the dyslexia declaration for my dyslectic daughter.
More than 760 euro.
And when I want to have the intelligence test done, the WISC, it means 1520 euro!!
That's 2,376.95 USD
Can you believe it??????

Want to know some fun? I have a dysectic son too. And he needs the same.

It makes me feel sick.
I could hardly keep my tears in when I was reading it, and I've spend the rest of the afternoon trying to hide I was crying.
What helped were your kind reactions. Thanks so much for your support!!!

I'm so tired of all these rules and regulations.
They're not helping the all!

Well, tomorrow morning I'm going with my son to his psychiatrist.
See what happens there.

My life feels like a soap opera.

heads or tails - 30 - place in a house

march 18 2008


Hosted this time by:Jen of Tidbits of the Tippets

The subject immediately made me think of a poem my grandfather wrote a long long time ago, about the chair near the window, the place his mother used to have some quiet time.

I have two chairs in the house that are considered mine.

One is the chair at the computerdesk.
It's central in the house, I can see what happens in the front- and in the backroom.
And I can hear a lot there of what's going on elsewhere in the house.

When I'm there I'm "at work".
I'm ready to listen to the children, answer calls and mails, etc etc.
It's the commandocentre of the house, the helpdesk and everything else.

My other chair is near the window.
In fact it's the corner of the couch.

That's where I read, watch TV, and when I expect visitors, I'm waiting for them.
I can see from that place who comes to the door.

Our house is small for such a large family.
There isn't a place unused.

But these two places are special to me.

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Monday, March 17, 2008

manic monday

march 17 2008

If you could have any music group or musician play at a party, who would you hire?

Howe I feel at the moment?
Janis Joplin.
But as she is already enjoying the grass from the wrong side,
I think I seriously would consider Ramses Shaffy.
He's a famous, dutch, inspiring mucisian, and I've always wished to meet him.

Or when you all are bound to come in, I'd better ask Santana. OK?

Name three things to be happy about today.

I don't have the faintest idea.

I hardly slept last night, because I was afraid my ADHD son would oversleep. He went to england early this morning for a schooltrip.
I'm not happy with the people who have to supervise the group, ::see here:: and I tried to go with them myself. I could find a B&B, but couldn't find a lst minute flight from the airport nearby for yesterday or today.

After he left, I went to bed and was nearly asleep when they renovation activities started in the neighbouring house.

So I showered, cup of coffee and internet, and found out that McCallum won't make the smallpipes the way I want them, with no nickel, no imitation invory, so they'll be far too expensive for what the dollar is worth at the moment...

Opening my mail I found out that there was a reply of the schoolleader about his interpretation of the relationship between my autistic son and the auticlass.
As I thought, he was informed there was a place for my son at the auticlass, and he was going to do his final exam at his (then former) school. That's why he reported us as criminals to the council. Our son is not visiting that school.

It's a rather painful subject, as that school doesn't want our son, because it breaks the daily routine of the other autists there.

So I've just mailed the guy to set him straight.
Luckily he also mailed by whom he was informed.
So I mailed that woman, so she can put things straight. She misunderstood the information she got, for the somaniest time!!!!!!!

Now I hope the schoolleader tries again to get my son admitted at the auticlass. I told him so.
THAT would make me happy.

So right now I don't expect something happy today.
On top of it I have an aching throat, as have 4 others here...

How do you release frustration?

Seeking the cause and try to set things straight.
I use the mail.
When I can't solve the problem that causes the frustration I get the next item that's on my list of "things to change" and invest my energy there.
Otherwise I can start working: laundry, cleaning.

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Needing an aunt or uncle in London

march 16 2008

A large bag
far too many T-shirts, socks and other stuff to take with him.

Our ADHD son is getting ready for his trip to London tomorrow.

I'm not too happy with this trip.

Don't understand me wrong.

I've been in London for quite some time in the past and i loved it, and I'm sure he'll enjoy his time a way.

But he's going with school, and I'm not sure all will go well.
He can't leave the bullies behind, and he can't leave the teacher behind who considers ADHD some modern foolishness which can be drilled out by punishments, unkind behaviour and more of the same.
After all, he says, ADHD is just the effect of a bad upbringing.

I'm sure that teacher will feel well in Lodnon, where history is so visible.
I hope it catches his attention enough to refrain from punishing my son or watching him like a hawk, waiting for something he considers wrong.

I've considered giving up my savings to book a last minute trip, but fate got in my way. There are no flights with an empty spot from the nearest airport, and travelling to the others will be far too expensive.

So I looked around for some addresses from people from internet who want to help my son, in case he needs some help.
I've found out that teacher is a lot more moderate in his behaviour towards my son when he knows someone is available to point out what we all know: my son is a great guy, but he's got ADHD and he struggles with his impulses.

I'm not expecting huge problems.
Maybe he'll be late somewhere, or he'll order a meal that's too large.
Or he'll just buys too many presents for us all.
Or he's going to have too much fun, laughing too loud, disturbing the inner rest that teacher so much needs.

In case you live in London, (south east of greater London, Orp.) and you want to be an uncle or aunt for 4 days, so he can call you when he needs to vent or needs someone to stand up for him, please let me know.

I'll hand your telephonenumber to the teacher, telling him my son will call his uncle/aunt, when something is the matter.
And I'm sure that teacher keeps quiet during the trip. LOL!

unconscious mutterings

march 16 2008

  1. Paranormal :: telekinesis

  2. Alarm :: siren

  3. Operative :: working

  4. Changing :: transforming

  5. Framed :: picture

  6. Beer :: root beer

  7. Referral :: specialist

  8. Unmasked :: bare

  9. Movie star :: celebrity

  10. Handbook :: protocol

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Saturday, March 15, 2008

infuriating misunderstandings

march 15 2008

I start to fear the letters from the school of my autistic boy.

This time it was written by the schoolleader.
He was informed that my son wasn't attending lessons at the new school (the one with the auti-classes).
He was also informed that my son was able to attend classes there, but that he can't do the final exams there.

I just about went through the roof.

Wasn't that precisely what we requested after we were told there was no place for him? (A place to be and exams at the other school)
And they told us even that arrangement was impossible, because it was too disturbing for the other pupils!!

The schoolleader invited us for a talk to get our son as soon as possible to school. Date: april 2.
I guess that's as soon as possible for him, but it creates a whole new concept of time for us.

He'd also send the letter to the the guy of the council who came here a couple of months ago to intimidate me with court when I didn't send my son to school.

Well, it really got me going.

So I sat down and mailed to the school with the auti-classes that there is some huge misunderstanding.
How come we're told that there is absolutely no way they want him to attend classes and the school is told he's allowed to attend classes, but can't do his final exam?
One of us is informed wrong.

I also asked her to send me a letter stating that there has been a procedure of admittance, which failed and why.

Then I mailed the council representative, telling what's going on, so he or his collegue is informed.
I'm not sure how he'll react.
When they're informed a kid is not at school they'll pay a visit and then fine the parent or get the person to court.

His former visit here resulted in a complaint about his behaviour... one of his female collegues was visited even before my son went to school. I was worrying about his autism already at that time.

I guess the guy will visit again next week, unless I can set things straight between the auti-school and the other school, and one of them or both will report facts and not fiction.

By the time I has those mails finished my blood was cooking.
I'd mailed the educationadvisor the copies, and them a mail between us telling how fed up I am about all these issues.
They take so much energy, and they're all about people not communicating and listening well.

He reacted quite nice and pointed out it's important to find a school for my son until the next schoolyear starts.
Well, that's nice, but there is no school available.

In fact the auti-class was the last chance.

Maybe I have to get more troops in to support us in this matter.
Someone to take with us to the meeting at school.
Someone who knows enough about autism to make clear my son can't deal with school.


saturday special

march 15 2008

In Honor Of St. Patrick's Day

1. While walking in a countryside in Ireland, I see a strange green glow coming from behind a large tree. Walking up to it I find
a green glowing lake, with the white clouds reflected in the deep water.
It's almost like someone has taken the wrong colour the match the deep darg green of the woods around it.
2. Being the curious kind I decide to
dive into it and take a swim, to see what's behind the stretch of lands that seems to divide the lake almost into two.
It's a wonderful time between the sounds of the woods, in the light of the moon.
When I arrive to the land, I walk a bit in true amazement.
It's so wonderful.

Then suddenly it starts to rain and in the light of the full moon a rainbow appears which seems to come out of the stretch of land.
3. Much to my surprise I bend to
see the spot where the rainbow touched the land, and I see a little clover.
4. Deciding this must truly be a Irish fairytale, I laughing think to myself:
ofcourse they have forgotten the pot of gold.
And I sit down to see if there are more little lovers between the grass.

While I'm moving my hand over the grass, two feet appear........

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saturday 9

march 15 2008

The Best and the Worst

1. What was the best thing that happened to you this week?

Hmmm.... I think that was when the educationadvisor came to think with us about a new school for my autistic son, and he turned out to be a nice man.

2. What was the worst thing that happened this week?

I just can't choose...
my autistic son having a bad mood every day,
the dollar lowering, so my smallpipes are even further away than ever,
or the letter I got this morning. I blog about that later.

3. Describe an item of clothing that has definitely seen better days but that you refuse to dispose of and still wear. Why won't you toss it?

Hmmm... some T-shirts I wear at night?

4. Have you ever lied about your age?

No. People realise that my chronological age doesn't correspond with my real age. LOL!

5. Would you rather be behind the scenes or in the spotlight?

Depends on the subject.
Right now I have some things to say that concerns many, so get those lights on, please.

6. Where was your first out-of-country trip? How was it?

We live near the border of Germany, so Germany it was. I can't remember it, as it was during a walk when I was little.

The first trip I best enjoyed was england.

7. Do you like surprises? If yes what kinds? If no, why not?

I love surprises, because I can't stand a boring life. But please make it pleasant ones, because I'm stressed enough at the moment.
I love little presents.

8. Have you ever had sex with two different people on the same day?

Huh? No.

9. Which do you prefer, the sunrise or the sunset?

It depends, but as I normally sleep suring sunrise let's say it's sunset.

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saturday six

march 15 2008

Saturday Six

1. Do you have any plans to attend a St. Patrick’s Day party this weekend?

No. We're not celebrating St. Patrick as a main event here. I think there's one part in town.
I can't leave here, because I have to keep an eye on my family, especially my autistic boy.
When I can't leave for bagpipelessons I certainly can't leave for a party in town.

2. Have you ever thrown a St. Patrick’s Day party? If not, would you consider doing so?

No, no parties here.
It would disrupt the lives of my kids with autism spectrum disorder far too much.
Maybe when we'd be living in Ireland...

3. What is your favorite thing about the Irish?

The language, the music.

4. Take the quiz: What Color Green Are You?

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.

Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.

While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.

Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

5. Should carrying alcohol in public places — as people would tend to do during a city’s St. Paddy’s Day celebration — be illegal?

No, but i don't know how drunk people get at St. Patrick's day celebration.

6. Are you more likely to be a designated driver at a party, or more likely to need one?

I don't understand the question: what does designated driver means?
When you mean it literally: I'm always going to parties on a bycicle.
I don't have a driver's license.

So when I need a driver, it's because it's dangerous to go home on my bycicle, not because I'm drunk.

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Friday, March 14, 2008

friday's feast

march 14 2008


On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how much do you like your own handwriting?

It depends on the mood and what I'm writing.

Calligraphy: 8
normal handwriting: 7
grocery list: 5


Do you prefer baths or showers?

For daily use: showers. I can shower within a couple of minutes, if needed.
But when I need to relax, I love(d) a bath.
It has been ages ago I smelled at bottles to find something nice to pour in the hot water.
Music, a book...


What was the last bad movie you watched?

Haha...It was so bad I can't remember the name.

Main Course

Name something you are addicted to and describe how it affects your life.

I feel sad each time I can't go to the band. My autistic son and his dad don't go along, and I just can't leave them together.
I can't use the highland bagpipes in the house, because people can hear it 20 houses further. LOL!
So I'm blogging to make money to buy smallpipes. That's why there are at times some silly posts, I need them to keep the posts in balance.
Now the dollar is as low I have lost over half I had worked for.


Which instrument is your favorite to listen to?

It really depends on my mood.
I don't like artificial instruments very much though. Never did.
I'd rather like a steel guitar than one of those howling keyboards.

I like harp, and lots of african instruments.
I also like to listen to a good spanish guitarplayer.
And as a former balletdancer I dream away when I hear just one piano with a little echo.

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waiting, and nearly bursting....

march 14 2008


I'm waiting for a call and I'm nearly bursting from stress.

We applied for a place at the favorite school of the girls for both of them.

One of them will be admitted, I don't expect a problem.

But my dyslectic girl didn't do one afternoon of tests very well. Apart from that, she needs the usual help for dyslectics.

I would go on my knees to have her admitted, because it would mean less bullying, a far better environment, and better chances for the future.

She can take it when she can't do it after all, but she wants to try it. She really does.

I think the school should give her the chance.

When we won't get a call it can mean they haven't digged into the extra paperwork, they have to have meeting about her, or she is admitted.

It's just killing me!!!



I'm still alive. Even though we've heard nothing....

To get rid of the stress I cooked a nice dinner.
Still I wished someone would have called.

ARI's Biomedical Survey Analysis Tool Available Online

March 14 2008

In the mail:

Since 1967, the Autism Research Institute (ARI) has enables parents to take part in surbeys to determine which treatments are most beneficial, as well as most harmful, to individuals with autism.

Recently an Internet program has been developed by ARI that allows parents to utilize the treatment database survey, the largest in the world, to help determine which treatments to consider trying (or possibly avoiding) for their children.

Using the program is easy.
Parents rate 1 to 4 treatments used in the past.
The program then searches ARI's treatment database (more than 25,000 records), summarizing how children who responded to the same treatment(s) responded to other treatments.

For example: if a child responded well to melatonin, the program will provide a list of additional treatments that benefited children who also responded well to melatonin.

There is no charge to use this program.

To learn more:

that's my answer - chinese food

march 14 2008


So, tell us, what’s your favourite?
What do you/the family always order as a starter when you have Chinese food?
Or don’t you eat Chinese food at all?

Oh yes, we have Chinese Food from the take-away once in a while.
We sometimes only get fried rice (nassi) and noodles (Bami) to go with the other food I've prepared.
Other times we get also Fu Yong Hai (egg) and ... chicken in spicy sauze, backed banana and an eggroll.

We don't order a starter.

Rising sales of cars

march 14 2008

In Europe the sales of cars are still rising.
9% increase the figures show for the month of february 2008 alone, that's 1,2 million cars. Volkswagen and Peugeot were sold most.

Part of the increase is due to riding living standards in eastern europe.
Another increase is because of the rise of restrictions aiming to decrease pollution.
Cars with special features to bring down pollution might be more expensive, but the owners have to pay less taxes.

We still don't have a car here, and I don't expect us to have a car, unless we move to a place where we can't live without.

one of those autistic days

march 14 2008

Yesterday was "one of those days" in a family with autistic children.

I needed to bring a wardrobe to my oldest. A friend offered to drive, so I had to depend on her time.

I was gone part of the afternoon, untill the girls came back from school.

It shouldn't have been a problem, but I guess it was too much a change of routine.

My autistic son had such a bad mood, stamping on the stairs that I was afraid it might break, being unkind to his sisters, yelling.

I felt like I was punished for being away to the birthday yesterday (just 1 hour), and for being away this afternoon.

Sometimes it takes more than just one deep breath to take distance, and today was such a day.

I nearly refused to cook, but it would make matters only worse.
So I cooked. Plain, healthy, nothing special.
And for the rest I ignored him, which was kind of difficult.

When he finally showed some signs of feeling guilty we were all fed up with his behaviour.
We know, it's his handicap.

But there are days I'm just too tired to deal with all these problems, and there are days I just want normal children, have fun with them and enjoy life.

Oops, Hillary!

march 14 2008

The whole credibility of the electionprocess is at stake.
It's unbelievable that a president candidate isn't wiser.

It also makes clear that noone is worried about the international image of the candidate who is adressed here.


Thursday, March 13, 2008


march 13 2008

No TV …. Could You Go Without?

How many hours of tv do you watch in a week?
Could you go without watching tv for an entire week?
What about the rest of your household, how would they do?

I watch about 5 to 10 hours a week.
It depends on the news, and whether my soaps need me in person.
Otherwise I listen when doing chores.

I can do without for a wek. Sure.
Sometimes I realise a complete week is over and I haven't seen anything.
But that doesn't happen often.

The rest here? Haha!!!
They can't.


march 13 2008

Some time ago I blogged about the behaviour of investors in times of crisis.
Now the dollar is at a very low value, investors turn to materials that keep their value, like gold.

Today oil reached a prize of $110,70.
A new record.

And gold reached a price of $997,50 per troy ounce (31 grams).

The risk associated with these developments is that people get insecure and too careful with their money.
Which might even worsen the crisis.

Frightening weather

march 13 2008

Blown away

What weather can’t you cope with?
What’s the worse kind of weather that you have to put up with?

I hate lightning.

We live near a lake and I've seen lightning struck straight downwards on the water, and that's so frightening.
I feel lucky there's one row of houses between us and the lake. It's a kind of protection, but now the trees behind the house have grown so tall, I feel afraid more often.

I'm not afraid for myself, but for the children.

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new 5 dollar bill

march 13 2008

The people in the USA can enjoy a new 5 dollar bill.

A large, purple numeral "5" is featured on the back of the note's lower right.
With 3 other, old fashioned, 5's, people can't make a mistake anymore.

The bill also features 2 new watermarks, which can be seen when the bill is held against the light.

Tourists will love the new bill, because the 5 is clearly seen.

I haven't heard of any braille points or other marks for the blinds.

Do USA bills have those features?

the storm and the lake

march 13 2008

The storm from yesterday was stronger than that of the day before.

It has changed the outline of the lake nearby.

I don't think the designer has intended that.

We imagine him to be a person without phantasy.
Or maybe it's a team.
Some guys who want to transform the world into their image of how the world should be.
Clean, unprotected, cheap, noiseless... sterile!

They pulled out trees and left only three of them.
They didn't bother to get one of the chopped ones away.
Like a grafestone it stands in the wind, telling everybody that some stupid designer in a far away town just doesn't care.

There's no place for birds to nest,
for beetles to hide,
or for the wind to find resistance.

All the shrubs are gone.

And there's not one spring flower looking for the sun.

Yesterday the sand was blown around, scratching my face, like I was in a sandstorm in the dessert.

No roots to keep it all together.

It's how I feel there when I walk beside the lake.. without roots.

All the little late evening noises are gone,
the shadows,
and the protecting branches that stretched out over the almost secret path.

Now the wind and the waves have eaten away part of the trembles in the lining.
It's smooth now, like the outside of the desk it was designed on.

One can say nature has designed the smoothness yesterday.
But i't feels like grasping a daydream to overcome the troubles of the day.

So I took some fallen willow branches
and I can only hope they'll root,
here, in the warmth of my house.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

three word wednesday - The Fire

march 12 2008



Lying, he was.

She knew the doctor wouldn't tell the truth right from the first moment he entered the long corridor.

He straightened his white coat, put glasses higher on his nose, and just before he saw her, he quickly moved his hand through his hair.

She didn't want to watch him moving towards her.
It was too much of a moviescene.
So she started to walk...

"He's doing rather well, considering the circumstances.
I expect he'll be intubated at least a day, so his airways can heal a bit.
We'll keep him sedated, so he won't feel any pain."

"Sedation doesn't keep away the pain, it prevents a reaction to it", she said, and she felt the emotions move away a bit.
Logics and critical remarks always gave her a feeling of being in control.

He agreed and told her that morphine was involved too.

They both walked back to the intensive care, and she saw flashes of the fire in the apartment.

When she arrived there was already smoke everywhere, but she didn't expect it to come from his apartment.
She thought there was a fire again at the place of the old lady, so she turned the key and opened the door.
A flame almost caught her, but she moved back, and then saw his body like he'd been waiting at the door.
Hiding behind her briefcase she managed to get his hand and pul him out.
He was still covered in little flames when the firefighter tried to push her away.
But already she was throwing her coat on him.

She was taken outside, coughting and gasping for breath. Completely overtaken by a strange chaos of feelings.

Now she felt numb.

"Here he is", the doctor said, and she realised he'd been speaking to her all the way down the corridor, in the elevator and even when they passed some nurses to this little room.

She looked at the body, the instruments and at her own burned hand slowly touching his.

"You can talk to him", the doctor said, "he'll hear you, and it'll do him a world of good."
She realised that now the lying truly began.

This was just a body, a breathing machine and some bare words, trying to comfort her, so she would go home and sleep.
Then tomorrow they would call and tell her he died during the night.

She tried to feel him, but it was like no souls could meet.

"He's already dead.
There's no need to fool ourselves." She slowly said.

Again she entered the corridor.
It was endless now.

Former entries:

  • Child soldier

  • three word wednesday

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    wrong paperwork

    march 12 2008

    I'm so tired of pointing out mistakes at organisations and such.

    I needed a form with a signature for my ADHD son which mentions his psychairtists name, his meds, the days he's in england and a signature.

    First I had to mail them AGAIN yesterday morning to remind them.

    The mail brought it today, surprisingly fast.
    I wanted to put it in his bag, but one reason or another I thought I'd better read it.

    "leaving and returning march 17."


    I said "leaving the 17th and returning either march 20 or 21."

    So I had to call again.

    I often feel I'm the secretary here. (When I'm not the nurse, psychologist, pumber, laundrywoman.... well, you get it.)

    works for me

    march 11 2008

    Most people keep a little bit of paint after painting walls, furniture, etc.

    We do!

    To be able to find the right colour without opening tins and buckets, I put a label on top and a label at the side.
    That way it's not a problem to find the right colour when something has happened with your livingroom wall.

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    That's my answer: mealtime

    march 12 2008


    Who does the cooking in your house?
    If you could have anyone cook for you, would it be?

    We used to share cooking time, but now I do the cooking at least 6 days a week.
    I don't like cooking very much, especially not for a group of children with different tastes.

    If I wanted anyone cooking for us all, it would be:
    Jamie Oliver!

    He'll teach the children to make the right choices, and it would be great to have his dynamic behaviour brighten our kitchen.

    If I had to choose a cook only for me, I'm not sure.
    It might depend on what food I want at the moment.
    A little bit on a plate, haute quisine, or fun in the kichen and someone eating with me with appreciating the food he made.

    In the last case I would want Ainsly to enjoy himself in the kitchen.
    Or maybe he could make yummy BBQ.

    Want to take part too?
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    Finishing school

    march 12 2008

    The girls are in their last year of basic school.
    The tests and most of the preparations for the new school are done.

    So today they've heard that they will get a letter about the "goodbye" musical very soon.

    They were so happy about it.
    They're so looking forward to their last main event at school.

    To be honest, my mind is far more bussy with the question whether they are admitted to the new school, and what needs to be arranged in time.

    I still have no proper answer from a testing institute on my question how much it costs to have the dyslexia declaration of one of the girls,

    This morning we had one more try to have the present school take care of it.
    They promised.
    But they're not doing anything at all.

    I can understand that things are very difficult now the teacher is very ill.
    But the life of the girls moves on.

    struggling with time

    march 12 2008

    I'm struggling with the way how to spend this evening.

    The kids need someone in the house.

    There's a parents evening which needs to be attended. It's about the last part of the final exams, which can be read in the special booklet, and it's about the trip to London. I gather the last bit of information is about what to take and what not to take, where they are going and how to contact people. Which is.... yes, in a booklet too.

    And I was invited for a birthday, which should have been celebrated last week.
    I have't found a present yet.

    There's some administration to be done
    and some blogging,
    and I need so "me" time.

    What would be your choice?

    storm damage

    march 12 2008

    We've got our first stormdamage in ages.

    A huge old tree just fell down.

    He found a restingplace om a few bycicles and the rosebow.

    We've been so lucky there was no additional damage.

    I was glad one of my sons was home, so we were two against his dad, to solve the problem.

    No way we were going to try to move the enormous tree to the gardenpath.
    Not only it didn't fit, but it would also be more difficult to saw it in pieces.

    So we cut off the branches, and then cut it in pieces. First the top, then lower and lower.

    Let's hope the other old tree deals with the storm just as gracefully.

    selective perception

    march 12 2008

    It's amazing how fast some people can react on some mails and "never see" other mails.

    I wrote yesterday about bullying.

    His teacher wrote back in no time.

    There was no need for him to do the presentation, because the bullying was very bad indeed.
    They would take action today, and she hoped he would enjoy his trip to London.

    I wrote back.
    Thanking her ofcourse.

    But also telling her that he's not looking forward to the trip.

    I also wrote down some comments on the way the last paper of my autistic son was valued.

    Isn't it strange she didn't see those comments at all?

    Tuesday, March 11, 2008

    Wrong advice

    march 11 2008

    The education adviser said there was a rebound facility in town.
    He said that they wanted to make a special department with autistic children.
    And he offered to get some information.

    A few hours later he called back and told me that there might be a place for my son.
    The schoolleader had taken a special interest in my son. He had offered to get him through the exam.

    One way or another I could hardly believe the last.
    And I remembered the rebound facility to be for kids with terrible behavioral problems. The same kids that caused my son to be afraid to go to school.

    I looked up a lot of things about it on internet, but couldn't find anything about autists in the rebound facility.

    I also found out that the kids either have to go back to school, or have to go to a kind of laissez fair facility. They say they're a school, but in fact they just offer some facilities to the kids, and they have to ask for them themselves.
    Nothing for an autistic kid.

    After a sleepless night I decided to call the schoolleader, have a nice talk and tell him "no".

    So I did.
    Turned out they didn't even have a place for an autistic kid. In fact, no place at all, and a huge waitinglist.

    So that option is closed too.

    heads or tails 29 - anything green

    march 11 2008


    The green of the first little speckles of grass
    the first little leaves on the trees and the shrubs

    the green of the sweets and the T-shirts
    and, oh yes, the green of an image on one of the mugs

    the green of a firefly, I remember from last spring,
    and the green, of the "green gras of home", a song I love to sing

    the green of St Patrick and the green on a book
    and the green of jealousy I once saw in your look

    the green I don't like, and the green with some blue.
    Green, for me, stands for spring, and that'll always be true.

    Want to take part too?
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    The Second Annual Autism Information Fair - White Plains

    march 11 2008

    The Second Annual Autism Information Fair

    Sunday April 6th from 11 am to 4 pm
    at the Westchester County Center
    198 Central Avenue -
    White Plains , NY

    Sponsored by the Navigating the Spectrum and The Westchester County Department of Community Mental Health.

    Parents, therapists, educators, health care professionals, school administrators and anyone who cares about a child on the spectrum are invited to join us for a day of education and empowerment.
    Connect with families affected by ASDs and network with knowledgeable and encouraging professionals. Learn about Interventions and Services available for all ages, from toddlers to adults.

    Visit Over 40 Scheduled Information Stations Including
    Applied Behavior Analysis - Relationship Development Intervention - DIR and Floortime - TEACCH - Occupational Therapy & Sensory Integration - Speech & Language Pathology - Physical Therapy - Medical Interventions - Nutritional & Biomedical Interventions - Special Education Law & Advocacy and lots and lots more.

    Breakout Lecture Schedule:

    Toddlers and Preschoolers: 11:30 - 12:30
    School Age Children: 1:00 - 2:00
    Adolescents & Young Adults: 2:30 – 3:30


    Navigating the Spectrum - - 914-826-5300

    education advice.

    march 11 2008

    The educationadvisor came yesterday.

    It was a very nice man, who looked quite familiar.
    I think I know him from the time I took walks with my grandmother through her neighbourhood.

    We had a good talk about some problems we have met.

    And he came up with some ideas to find a school, or educational opportunity for my autistic son.

    They were not all very helpfull.

    I think that the normal mailcourses, which have been available for ages, can be of help for grown ups who want to get a diploma, but those courses ask too much independence.

    He also gave some options which were way too expensive and some options which are worth looking into.

    I don't have the confidence he can help us out.

    manic monday

    march 11 2008

    What's your favorite thing to spend money on?

    That's a difficult question.
    I don't have much money, so it's always something I need.
    But I would love to have a larger house, love to travel and I would love to have enough money for my smallpipes.

    But maybe I'd just spend it on a private tutor for my son.

    If you could retire tomorrow what would you do?

    Can one retire from being a stay at home mom? LOL!

    Maybe about the same as I do now, but with older children.
    But I would love....see 1.

    Should anything be censored and if so, what and why?

    Maybe all those wars should be kept out of the news, so peoples emotions won't rise as high on false information and lack of understanding.

    Maybe the negative attitude towards young people should be censored, so all those good young people won't have to suffer from the sterotype created by some careless teens.

    I'm against censoring, so this answer should be censored.

    want to take part too?
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    Clinton uses an Obama supporter in her little movie!

    march 11 2008

    Clinton uses an Obama supporter in her little movie!

    One might expect a president wannabee to be careful with the law and to be precise with the material she uses.

    I suppose she didn't ask permission when she used the images of a sleeping girl.

    Have a look!


    Monday, March 10, 2008

    teacher and corners

    march 10 2008

    One of the girls came home late.

    She was crying.

    Ofcourse I asked her why.

    She told the teacher had many pupils stay late because they didn't cut the corners of their writingbooks.

    The teacher wants them to do so, because she can handle them faster when she wants to correct their work.

    Some of the children forgot to do it.
    Others, including my girls, thought it to be complete nonsense to cut the corners of a completely new writingbook.

    As a very experiences parent in the world of schools I wonder if this teacher is signaling she can't handle this group anymore.

    The group was meant to be handled by two teachers, but one is ill and won't come back the next months.

    Time for a talk.

    bullying, so no presentation?

    march 10 2008

    One of my son is bullied at school.
    He has a sharp nose, but that doesn't mean that others should bully him all day long.

    Even though last year the school promised to take action, it needed a firm conversation last month to make them aware they had made such a promise.

    This friday my son needs to present his last large paper to the group.
    It will give him another good mark for his final exam.

    But he doesn't want to.

    He's afraid he will be distracted by the gestures that are made, and he doesn't want that they will bully him afterwards about what he has told them.

    The subject, emergency care, is close to his heart. Too close to have others laugh about it.

    He feels so badly bullied that he even wants to stay home from his london trip.

    I wrote the school a mail.

    I can't wait to read their reply.

    that's my answer- newspaper

    march 10 2008


    If you were a journalist, what section of the newspaper would your articles appear in?

    Well, I have been writing columns, and they appeared somewhere outside the sections, at the most right column.

    Now I would love to write critical reviews of political issues.

    So I guess it would be in either the international politics section or the national politics section.

    march 10 1008

    In the afternoon the storm suddenly started.

    It was one huge sweeping wind that bowed the trees, and since then it's howling around the house.

    It's not as bad as in England though.

    I can't reach my aunt and uncle, so I'm a bit worried.
    But maybe they went to their son to stay there untill the worst is over, or maybe they have been evacuated.

    So I left a message, asking them to call me as soon as possible, because I want to know if everything is OK.

    Storm approaching UK, France, and The Netherlands. Flood warnings UK.

    march 10 2008

    Stormwarnings are issued for the UK, France and The Netherlands.
    Severe flood warnings have been issued for the Devon and Cornwall coast and 44 other warnings in locations including southern England, and the Severn and Mersey estuaries.

    This might be the worst storm of this winter.
    England and Wales should reckon with winds of up to 80mph (130km/h).

    Blizzards and heavy snow are expected for Scotland.

    Ferries have been delayed or cancelled, including those between Dover and Callais.

    Steve Winston, Cornwall's emergency planning officer, said a combination of factors, including high spring tides and a very low pressure system, could lead to a "severe" event.

    For those who want to see the storm "curling", click here and scroll down a but to see the satelite movie.

    swimming and the girls

    march 10 2008

    The girls are eager to go to their next swimminglesson.

    A few years ago they had swimminglessons too. It took them so long to learn things...
    None of them managed to learn it well enough for a certificate.

    The school was allowed to send more children to swimming lessons as they had in the lower groups, so they asked the girls if they wanted to go again.

    Sure they did.

    Next month one of them will swim for her certificate, and I won't be amazed when the other one tells me the same next week.

    I was taught swimming when I was 5.
    That was quite an unusual young age then.

    My teacher told my father that most older children learned a lot faster than the younger ones.

    She was so right.

    I feel pity for my friends who spend hours a week, months and months on end, most of the time over a year, at the swimmingpool.
    And still the children are not able to swim well enough.

    I'm proud of my girls.

    Sunday, March 9, 2008

    spring soup

    march 9 1008

    2 liters chicken or well-flavored vegetable stock
    the white part of 2 medium leeks
    the inner stems of a small bunch of celery
    1 cup/150 g fresh green peas
    ¼ cup/30 g flour
    pinch of sugar,salt and white pepper

    Take cup from the stock as put apart.

    Bring the rest to a boil.
    At the sliced vegetables and let it simmer for about 15 minutes.
    Add sugar, salt, and pepper.

    Take the cup of stock and stir in the flour bit by bit.
    Then take the hot soup and pour the contect of the cup in it while stiring.
    Leave it for about 5 minutes.
    Taste it, and add some seasoning if needed.

    Make croutons of 3 slices of white bread.
    Make little squares of about 6 mm thick.
    Fry them in vegetable oil.

    Pour the soup in bowls and put them on plates.
    Put beside each bowl a mini tomato and a spring union.

    You can eaven add some toast with herb butter.


    march 9 2008

    I'm a bit nervous.

    Tomorrow morning the education adviser comes to talk about the options for school for my autistic boy.

    Ofcourse I looked him up, and he's very experienced in the area of special education.
    Which is great!

    I hope there's no need to explain in length what is the matter with my son and what his autism means.
    I'm a bit tired of explaining and even defending my son.

    But I also know that people who are working in that area are kind of easygoing when it comes to distances.

    I don't want my son to go to school in another town.
    I want to keep a close eye on what's going on and I can't do that when he's 2 hours away from here.
    Let alone going to all those parents meetings.

    Let's hope the man comes with good advice and maybe some help to make matters a bit easier.

    Keep your fingers crossed.