Monday, February 25, 2008

manic monday

february 15 2008



How did you celebrate your last birthday?

Quite boring actually.
The girls gave me a present in the morning, and a friend visited in the afternoon.
That was it.

What's the last thing you bought yourself, just for fun?

A little booklet of Marjolein Bastin in the sales. You can find it here.
It's perfect for writing down birthdays.

I love her drawings and I would love to have something more from here. like the bedcover.
Can't have it all, can we?

What would the child you once were think of the adult you have become?

I think she would be amazed by the way I stand up for my children and wsh someone would stand up for her too.
It's strange to say, but she would want to have me as a mom.

I was a very shy child, not very appreciated by my mother.
When I was 4 she had me go out to buy the groceries.
I still can't understand why so young.
I had to clean a lot in the house too. I still hate doing it.
And she used to hit me a lot, and belittle me day by day.

I have learned myself not to let the past influence me in a negative way.
The times with my grandmother were far more important for the person I have become.
I also decided when I was young that I wouldn't fit in the theories of some socalled scientists that children of abusive mothers will become abusive too, or will become bad mothers.
I promised myself not to become a victim of the past.

Looking back I see I have missed one important aspect of it all.
I married the first guy that was nice to me. I mistook attention for real love, and I mistook being in love for real love.
It took so long to realise that!

So I guess I'm one of the least hugged people in the world, when it comes to parents and partner.
But I'm glad I have some nice children.
Especially with the girls I have a very good relationship, and I've been able to teach them what my mother didn't tell me.

So my little me can feel at rest. I struggled myself out of the past in a rather good way.

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13 comments:

  1. Interesting answers, smiled at your Mary Tyler Moore ... now that's thinking outside the square ;)

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  2. Nice answers! Thanks for sharing them:)

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  3. Very nice answers, Laane!

    Thanks for stopping by mine!

    http://laurawilliamsmusings.blogspot.com/2008/02/manic-monday-for-february-25-2008.html

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  4. I am so glad that you learned not to let the past impact you in an overly negative way. You rock! :-)

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  5. Thanks for visiting mine!

    I agree with you on your #3. I had the same childhood and was basically treated as the red headed step child and forced to clean and cook. I babysat my younger siblings as young as 7. And I was abused physically and mentally by both parents. To escape that, I purposely got pregnant at 15 to the first guy I really cared about. I married him at 16 and he ended up being abusive, too. I got out of that quick. But I have my beautiful son and I learned a lot so I wouldn't change anything! No regrets... everything happens for a reason and it makes you stronger in the end! Congrats for you!

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  6. #2 I am horrible with birthdays, thank goodness for Outlook calendar ;)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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  7. wonderful answers! I really enjoyed #3

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  8. That was a great post, Laane. I'm very sorry that you had such a difficult childhood, but I'm happy to see that you have been able to learn so much from it!

    Thanks for having visited mine as well. Happy MM!

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  9. It's great that you were able to something from your children which makes you a better mom today!

    Thanks for stopping by mine :)

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  10. great answers... thanks for sharing.

    by the way, I've posted the pic of the art nail... ;) thanks for visiting...

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  11. I thought I had already visited~but I was wrong! Great MM! Your mother sounds so much like my Mom! My mom is an alcoholic, but she has been sober for almost 16 years~thank goodness! Thanks for visiting me!

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