Thursday, January 31, 2008

asperger and social security

january 30 2008

With the oldest to the organisation to be "judged" if he can get a handicapped status.

The woman in question wasn't in time.
because I know they treat people like cattle I went to the secretary and asked how long the woman was delayed with her appointments, so I would know whether to stay and wait a few minutes or I'd better cancell the meeting. I couldn't risk not being in time for my own client elsewhere.

That speeded matters up.

The meeting was terrible.

She's supposed to asses the amount of handicap and in which areas they surface.
Instead she just assessed his ability to work.

When I said so she got angry with me.

Well...I was very polite, especially when it was clear she had not ..not even bothered to read the files.
How I know?
Up till now I haven't met anyone who didn't ask something about our large family.

Well, I went to the whole scala: being silent, pointing things out, commenting and I was even able to pass the tears and say that the only thing I wanted was for my son to be happy. And that he had so many terrible times between other people, at school and elsewhere.
That I wanted people to understand how difficult social life is for someone with severe asperger and ADD.
"When people see him they expect all sorts of things from him, because this handicap can't be seen from the outside, but when they deal longer with him they get annoyed and more.
I want him in a positive environment."

Well, I didn't like her, and she probably has followed the course"How to deal with dripping tears from mothers", but she gave me a compliment.

Wooohaaaa!!! The first compliment from people like her in ages.
"You have put him on the rails very well."

I reacted like she learned in the course. LOL!

I was completely furious when we left.
And when I came in the toilet and the mirror wasn't there I just felt we'd been to the lowest of lowest.
Other people deciding whether you deserve to get some money to live, or have to go for social security. And social security is crap for people like him.

When we walked out someone greeted me kindly.
He was in a hurry, but I recognised a highschool friend.
It was so good he recognised me. I was young then, small, kind of twiggy.
But he still recognised me. Wow!
Well, I recognised him too.

On our way home we went into the bookshop at the railwaystation.
Just to be in an environment that feels different and OK.
I bought a little agenda with lovely drawings from Marjolein Bastin.
I saw it because it was half prize. I would never have bought it otherwise.
But now it's mine.
I have one from years ago and used it not as an agenda, but as a birthdaybooklet.
I'll use this one like that too.

I just needed something for myself. Haven't bought a thing just for fun in over a year.

At home it turned out the school of my autistic son (see yesterday) didn't even bother to mail back.


Wednesday, January 30, 2008

my child pays for the lack of care of school

january 30 2008

Can't sleep.

I'm sad and terribly angry at the same time.

There's a place at the auti-class for my autistic son.
After 5 years waiting.

Now we need a commission to decide he can go there.

We need lots of paperwork to proof that my child needs that place.

The psychiatrist gave the diagnosis...he needs to do all sorts of tests to proof his diagnosis is right.
He's one of the topscientists, diagnosticians and a lot more in the area of autism.
There's a waitinglist to get all the tests done.
Maybe we can use the old tests with a new date.

But what makes me very angry is that the school has to provide a treatment plan, a report of 6 months using that plan and an evaluation.

And they have nothing...just made a plan last week.
And that isn't enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that means my kid can't go to the only place here in town where he is understood.

I am so very terribly angry!!!!!

I confronted the school and they didn't like that.
Wanted to speak to the person of the commission who collects the paperwork, without informing me what they want to talk about.
I think they assume I'm stupid enough not to see that they completely failed in dealing with my son... I'm not THAT stupid!!
And on top of that.... the paperwork is the responsibility of the parents... so they have to come to me.

I offered them a meeting this week to see how we can solve the problem.
That's very kind, very patiënt...very everything after all we went through with that school.

This afternoon I mailed them because a teacher at the exam wasn't aware my son didn't need to read all nooks at the list.
That was decided two weeks ago at the meeting with school. well I mailed.
I got a mail back in which the care-coördinator wrote that she had spoken with someone else and it turned out not she and the pedagogue can make that decision, but only the examinationboard.

Why didn't they inform us????

None from school took an effort to help my children.
So I did all the work at home.
I have to help them finish their final papers this week, and next week I have to help them read books they can't understand when I won't read them aloud and explain them.

Now my child has to pay for the lack of care that school had.

My child can't go to the auti-class when I can't get that paperwork presented in such a way that that commission decides that we have met all legal goals and rules.

OK, who wants to make a soap opera about all we experience here in our family?
I'm sure it'll be a hit.
I have material for daily episodes for the next 10 years.

Monday, January 28, 2008

autism, school

january 29 2008

Got the results of the tests of one of the girls.
I'm not a bad psychologist. LOL!
She has indeed a fear to fail, and she's delayed in maths and spelling, just as I said.
The teacher can't deny it anymore.

Have been bussy with the paperwork to get my autistic son to the new school.

I mailed the organisation that decided if the paperwork is good enough for the commission to make a decision.
A friend works there and I hoped he would answer.

The material the school has send us is worth...nothing!
They should have tried to help him for over 6 months without any results.
Well, they haven't tried even 2 days.

So I have to write a treatment plan about what I did, and evaluate it... like it came from school.
It's the only way.

When all the paperwork is ready well get the result within the time that's set for it.

Sometimes I love friends like him. LOL!

In the afternoon my adhd son and I went to the police.
We had an appointment at 14.30, but someone forced an appointment before us, so we had to wait.
We went to the shopping centre nearby.

I would have loved to buy something, but we both had no money with us. So that was cheap shopping. LOL!

When we came back we had a very good talk with a very friendly policeman.
He shared my fear that the people who have threatened my son would realise their threats when it turns out that we filed an official complaint.
We here can't file a policereport anonimously. So there's no name protection of the victim.

We decided that he would book the whole case, so it can be made effective as a formal complaint with one push of a button.

We talked about how the school deals with matters and he thought it a perfect idea to have these boys spoken about in the careteam, ofcourse with the police present.

He gave me the joy to tell school about this, because when the school won't take action, the police can make them responsible for not actively creating a safe school.

The guy also gave my son very good advice how to react next time, more or less resulting in a meeting with all those involved.

When we came out we felt really good, understood and we had steps to take which will help.

Then I had to cook. Ugh... is there no one treating me after such a bussy day?

Turned out after dinner that my autistic son needed a newspaperarticle and a poem for english... tomorrow.
Why hasn't the school send me something so I can see what needs to be done?
I had to copy the article and write it down.

Then he started complaining about the poem/song.
I just read aloud sounds of silence of Simon and Garfunkle, explained it to him and wrote it down.

Well, I'm going to bed.

Does someone has an IEP to share. He's autistic. Need one for a 15 to 16 year old.
I can use it as a base to rewrite it towards the situation of my son. It's better than making thge paperwork from scratch. TY.

manic monday

january 28 2008

If you could have a servant come to your house every day for one hour, what would you have them do?

A servant??
I probably just would give a coffee and have a talk.
A servant!!

On the other hand... it depends what kind of servant and what time.

In the morning I would give a psychological assistant the task to get my autistic son to school. I'm sure my bloodpressure would drop soooo much, they would fear for my life. LOL!

In the afternoon I would give him the task to get my children clean their rooms.
Supervision, some help here and there.

Has your life ever been changed by an apparently random occurrence?

Yea... isn't eveything what goes on in life ad random?
I have to believe that, otherwise there's a cause for everything that happens in my life.
Either me... I'm not THAT bad!!!
or a God... why choose me for all this? Spread it out over more people, please!!!
or a force... get lost! I've had enough!!!

You're having dinner with several friends and acquaintances. They all criticize a close friend of yours (not knowing he/she is a friend). The criticism is unjustified. What would you do?

Let them talk, ventilate, throw with mud, enforce each other.
I would keep my mouth shut and try to control my bloodpressure and try to prevent my face from radiating my anger.
Then, when they're finished, I would summarise and ask if that's right.
Then I would very calm state that I'm amazed they would even consider I'm that bad a person to have such a friend.
I would tell them calmly they're completely wrong and ask them to appologise.

I've been in such a circumstance.... argghhhHHHHHHH!!!!!

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european privacy day

january 28 2008

What a pity this day isn't celebrated on my birthday.
One of my goals in life is to make people more aware of their rights and of the laws that enforce these rights.

It's interesting that so many people just don't know.
Part is due to the fact that they live their live and don't experience any problems, and part is due to the fact that people don't come in contact with the media that report about these rights or with the leaflets that can be found at special a far corner of the library.

The privacy laws are quite clear for many professions.
I had to voice an oath when I finished my university studies for psychologists and there are laws. Many other professions have laws and oaths to stick to.

We also have strickt laws for publication in the media and on internet.
We are not allowed to reveal the identity of people, even not when they are criminals.
We can give people permission to use our names, like on public timetables for ballroomdance contests.

The laws of privacy are also involved in the issue with the careteam of school.

Some items duscussed are on the verge of accepted and non-accepted.
Physical problems of my son can not be discussed there by the schooldoctor, but teachers are less bound by the law of privacy, and one of them can have put it up for discussion.
It's a fine line this doctor has walked on when he took action upon this.

Much clearer are the laws in the case of my son and Youthcare. They can't go to doctors, psychologists or others to talk about my son, without clear written permission of the parents.
There's only one exception: when they have reasonable doubt we're not abusing him or neglecting him.
That's why I was so angry when Youthcare went to psychiatry. We don't abuse or neglect our son.

Another fine line the careteam walked on is the privacy of us, parents.
It's clear there was a picture painted, otherwise they wouldn't have acted the way they did.
The law protects us in just a minimal way... as long as nothing is written down...

But I think the law falls short there.
I think we parents should get the right to be present at these meetings to guard the truth of what is presented there and to be able to stand up against misperceptions.

All inhabitants of my country have a number. This number stands for the identity of one single person.
I think the law isn't strict enough about the use of that number.
As one number identifies one person, all the privacy laws about names should be applicable on these numbers.

I think we still have a long way to go.
Governments that want to control the lives of people in the country should be more aware of their actions and laws.

But we, notmal people, should know the laws and enforce them to protect ourselves and our children.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

It's my birthday!

january 27 2008


It's my birthday!!!

So click some links in some posts,

visit my other blog ::here::,

sing a song for me,

or follow the tradition we have here:

have a special dessert
at days when friends celebrate their birthday,

and be happy for me.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

saturday special

january 26 2007

~Creative Adventure X~

1. While on vacation in Europe I decided to visit an old landmark Inn at the top of the cliffs. The Inn was the place to stay for the rich and famous during the turn of the 20th century. As I rode along the winding road up to the top I noticed __________?:

a bagpiper. His kilt was moving in the strong wind.
He was wearing the tartan of my ancestors, and he played one of my favorite tunes.
I was caught completely in the moment.

The lamenting sounds echoed from the stone of the cliffs and faded away over the sea.

He made me think of the history that was shared so many generations. One of our ancestors walked in front of the army and led them into battle, the sound of his bagpipes signalling important messages.

Then the sun casted it's rays from behind a cloud, and i had to cover my eyes for the light.

2. Gathering my senses I continued to the Inn grounds and drove the long unkept driveway to the now abandoned building. Stepping out of my car I walked to the door and found __________?:

the remains of an old bagpipe-reed.
It was worn out, and the top of the redd was chipped. The result of rain and bad weather.

3. Entering the enormous lobby I walked to the desk and opened an old falling apart guest register and as I was reading the list of guests who were part of the past of this once famous Inn I thought I heard __________?:

bagpipe music again.

But when I went outside there was nothing, but the wind and the sun, and the white foam on the tall waves beating against the cliffs.

So I went inside again and tried to read some names in the register.

My grandmother took pride when I was young, to teach me old handwritings and reading faded entries in old diaries and grocery shop books.
Now I could see which names where entered with swirls and bows.

One of them was the name of my ancestor. The H was entered with high pressure as if he was making a statement. And behind his name it said: bagpiper.

Right after the sunlight faded away, and the grey clouds started to float inland, signalling rain.

4. Leaving this lonely ghostly place with a smile on my face I thought to myself __________?:

that I can't deny the strong bond which excists between me and Scotland.
It was a pity that I didn't take my highland bagpipes with me to the old inn, otherwise I could have played along with the lamenting song from the old times.

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testresults girls

january 26 2008

We finally got the testresults of the girls yesterday.

One of the girls needs no special support at all.
The school thought she might have social problems, because she always reports bullying. But we've already told them that's because we think this society and especially the schools should have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying and violence.

I teach my children to stand up against it, each and every time. They're just the signals of a non-caring school, not the problem itself.

So I'm right. Great!!

My other girl needs special support.
But the papers didn't inform us which special support my child needs!!
So I can't even go to one of the new schools to talk about it, because I just don't know what she needs.

The school said she needs smaller classes, but she is a very social girl and I don't agree with the school.
She's not intimidated by a large group, she's just quiet by choice.
At the choir, the bagpipe-band, at ballet and everywhere else than school, she's a very social child and she's perfectly able to stand up for herself, concentrate or whatever.

So that's one more item on my todo list...trying to get the information I think the parents should have. I'm OK with the school having the information, but I think that one filled circle before "needs extra support" isn't enough.

the past week

january 26 2008

I've been very bussy last week with all sorts of appointments and meetings.
And when I came home I tried to catch up the lost time.
A household of 8 doesn't stop because mom has to arrange matters outside the home for the children.

At thursday the schooldoc cancelled the appointment.
We'll never know if he was really ill, or just got wet feed after hearing I was going to file a complaint against the careteam he's a member of.

He was completely wrong by approaching my son, we'd told him that by mail, and he didn't even care to appologise.

Well, it was great to be at home, because I had one of those times again that I can hardly walk. The pain in my hips and leg was very terrible this time. I think because I had to sit at bad chairs and had to step from relatively great height to get out of the bus.

Yesterday I was so tired that I fell asleep and slept all afternoon.

When I woke up I couldn't get into my yahoo mail at all.

So it was a dynamic week.

Friday, January 25, 2008

friday's feast

How many times per day do you usually laugh?

Haha! I'm not going to count and loose my spontaneity!

What do your sunglasses look like?

Brown glasses, blue rim.

You win a free trip to anywhere on your continent, but you have to travel by train. Where do you go?

To the hightest peak.
There's a station in Switzerland that's very high. It's to the Jungfraujoch.
And I would also try to get as far away as possible.

Main Course
Name one thing you consider a great quality about living in your town/city.

Nature. There are many woods near my town. And ofcourse I hardly go there. But I've grown up there and it feels good to know they are still here.
In the summer we have a tremendously large international event, with a lot of open air music from all around the earth.

If the sky could be another color, what color do you think would look best?

Marvellous question!!

It has been grey so long, that I long for fresh spring aqua.
But I can deal with a light-purple one. I like wine-red, but I;'m afairad the quality of light down here would not be good enough.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Thank you!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

evening of the girls

january 20 2008

The girls went all dressed up feeling princesses.
They looked marvellous.
(want to know more: look here.)

The boy who came to the door to fetch them told us they would be back at 8.
What a surprise!!!
We expected them to take part in at least half of the official program of the evening, and at 8 it probably would start.

That didn't feel good at all, so I told the girls they were allowed to stay longer, only when...onnnnly when they would have arranged a trusted ride back.

So it wasn't fun to stay at home.

At 8 they phoned and told us that they would go and look for someone to drive them home later, as the official part was about to begin, and it was weird to leave before they could perform.

At half past ten they called again telling they were coming home.
They sounded bright and happy.

At home they told that the official program started a bit after 8.
They had been the first to arrive.

The performance went well on their part, but the boy made such a huge mistakes, that the leader of the band told them to perform later. So the boy had time to practice his bit in the attick of the building.

In the meantime they witnessed the ceremony of the Haggis, with one of the real scottish men citing a Robert Burns Poem and slicing the haggis.
Before I'd told them that some people meow a lot about haggis, but that it's tasting like well flavored minced meat, and they should get some mashed potatoes with it.

They both loved it!

Then they had the chance to hold the new baby, and it felt so good.
Oh, those little mothers-to-be!
What a pity I wasn't there.

The second performance went well, and they got a standing ovation.
Well deserved, I have to say.
I didn't use a broom, but only verbal force to motivate them to practice each day.
I'm glad it worked.

The rest of the evening they enjoyed all the attention for their outfit and the fun an evening like that brings.

When one of the girls was already asleep the other was smiling at me, all happy.
"Mom, I was feeling a real princess."

What a wonderful end of the evening!!

How to explain recession to children

january 20 2008

The children have heard so much on TV about recession that they started asking questions.

I'm old enough to understand the whole process, so I can explain that.
But I made one huge mistake.

I took Michigan as an example.

Hundreds of thousands of people have lost their jobs in the car industry.
With less expensive cars from for instance japan, the american industry suffers. Suffers hard.
People almost always go for cheaper.
And when you ship the money out, and a product that can be thrown away in the end in...

But while I was explaining that in many businesses there isn't enough money available to pay the workers, so they they have to leave and try to find a job elsewhere (which is a real problem), I realised I was working myself into a corner.

"Because there aren't enough workers and because there's less production all sorts of other businesses suffer.
There are less waitresses necessary in the restaurants, less drivers to transport the products to the shops.
And because the shops have less to sell there are less people necessary there..

Even the bosses get less money, because they have to do the normal job, because the workers have gone."

I had cornered myself completely when I asked myself what the difference is between nearly a recession and a recession.

Michigan has the highest unemployment rate of the USA.
And it's easy to understand it won't change in the near future.

I should have choosen an argicultural illustration, because I could have talked myself out of the seasonal/winter unemployment rates.

So the kids and I had a long talk, and we wrote down some interesting questions for their teacher of economics.

He won't like me anymore the day after tomorrow.

The children won't ask the questions because they don't know the answers, but because we think it's important that the teacher teaches about the subject.
Moneyproblems are part of everyday life, and children need to understand why.

early darkness

january 20 2008

I thought the days were supposed to get longer?

It's not even a quarter past 3 in the afternoon and it's already twilight.

I don't like this at all.

The kids feel the same without realising it.

One asked if she was allowed to take a long bath, another one just crawled in front of the TV, like she does after dinner.

It's like we have an inborn sensor for the amount of light, because I just walked to the kitchen to see what needs to be done for dinner.

And onbe of the boys just came asking what would be on the menu, something he usually does 15 minutes before dinner is ready.

Is there something in nature that makes us feel different?

largest icecave

january 20 2008

Scientists have discovered a very large, probably the largest, ice cave in Norway.

The images are amazing.
Look here.

Isn't it amazing?

I admire the photographers who have to be in danger to provide the best pictures of such an everchanging natural phenomenon.

The idea that the ice is melting at the same moment, you're there, would make me feel so afraid that i wouldn't be able to keep my camera stable, I think.

Or would I feel very responsible to tell the world of this beautity?

I just don't know.

I'm grateful to see photos like these and I always feel grateful to see programms on TV about natural events and travels.

To be living in this time of history makes me feel grateful, because I can see and hear things I would otherwise never be able to witness.

Saturday, January 19, 2008


january 19 2008

The last days I worked hard to make the girls a Scottish outfit like I had last year to the Robert Burns night.

I managed to make them each a long skirt, a sash and a wrap/square sjawl. All in stuart Tartan.
I also wanted to make blouses, but I didn't have time enough.
So they were wearing bright white shirts with a satin application at the front, which make them look rich.

Their long hair was braided.
The little twin had curls all around her face, because of the rain.

They both looked magnificent.

It was fun to make it all, so when it turned out I still had some time, I made them both a matching pouch.
They were almost finished when the thread got turned around some interior things in the sewing machine.
With the help of one of the boys I managed to screw it open, remove the thread, and put the machine together again. I guess it went so easy because the lamp is in the same space and it should be replaceble.

Well, the girls got their pouches in time, and left like real scottisch girls.

I bet those few drops of scottish blood they still have were delighted!!

Threatening with asbestos

january 19 2008

There are still a lot of nutcases on this world.

A guy threatened to spread asbestos at Schiphol Airport/Amsterdam airport today.
He was wearing a protection suit and was carrying a wastebag.

The hall was full of travellers and people waiting for arriving people.
So there was a real danger.

The airport police used a policedog to arrest the man.

More news will be available later.

Owning land

January 19 2008

When a familymember left me some land in Scotland I went through so many different feelings. It was just unbelievable.

I just knew for sure I had Scottish ancestry and finding myself looking at the official papers of a landowner made me feel proud, happy and very ladylike.
Yes, I am an official lady, even though the land I owe is just a small part, as my (new and yet deceased) familymember had divided his land among all he knew were family.
He tied us together and forever to Scotland. I owe him. I sure do.

Owing land makes you feel far more part of nature that you ever thought you would be.
To call a place on earth your possession makes you feel more in tune with the trees and birds and all the other parts of nature.

Worth considering.

saturday special

january 5 2007

~My Personal Preferences~

1. Quiet evening at home or Out on the town?:

I'm having a quiet evening at home, but I'm not happy with it.
I should be with my girls at the Robert Burns night, and I'm at home,

because I didn't have a ride to get at the location. Grrrr.

2. Watching a movie or Reading a good book?:

After watching Atonement, which should be a good movie, according to so many,

I'm back to reading books. When time allows.

3. Ordering a meal or cooking one yourself?:

Cooking myself.
Ordering a mail... do you pay?

4. Going for a walk or taking a ride in the car?:

Well, as we have no car, it's either a walk or a bycicle ride.

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Friday, January 18, 2008


january 18 2008

Watched the movie Atonement this evening.
The Globe award winning movie. Best Drama.

I've seen far better movies.

This one is a burden for those who can't loose their smoking addiction.
It's one big smoking advertisement.

OK, the smoked portraits of the prettiest woman gave the movie a soft touch, a dreamy catch, enhanced by the trance enhancing music.

But the story to me is one out of thousands. I've heard so many about the war, I've seen too many people in old age being torn between reality and wishfullfillment.

It took a long time before this movie really took my attention.
I was just lost in the wonderful scenery, the details, which made me want to see it again.

It's not the drame in itself that is of importance, not the almost porcelaine beauty of she who lost her love. The good of love depicted against the evil of war.
It's the music that's catching as a flowless stream from beginning to end.

One recognises it from better movies, that got stuck in the soul, and are now projected unwillingly in this simple story.

One moment later in the movie I was lost again.
The seemingly authentic images... or where they real? ... made me look and search to see my father one more time...
He was there... in the reality of war... he lost part of his being, lost his friends, just like the story shows.

But there were too many terrible images of war to make me feel this movie deserves a Globe. Too much leaning on what has been proven itself to be succesfull, that I felt I'd been listening to one of those hundreds or thousands of songs that might get number one, but never will.

While forgetting for a moment the drama in my own life, I didn't really find it in the movie. Just because I heard it too many times perhaps.
Or maybe, because right now, so many people go through the same experience.

I guess that's the success.


january 18 2008

After all the problems with the careteam of the school of my boys, I thought it wise to look around where to file a complaint.
I have to prevent the same happening again.

We went through so much because of the stupidity of others,... no other parents should have to go through the same experience.

Looking around I found the site of the designer of the careteams and was able to tell my story to her.

She was shocked.

Her kind email did me a lot of good, but also makes clear I'm completely right in the way I perceive things and I have told the school what the intention is of a team like that.

I'm still thinking what I can do, but right now I have an appointment with the schooldoctor for next week.

I'll meet them one by one and decide for each member of the team how I want to approach the issue.

I'm open for ideas.

National Conference on Autism in Southwest Florida

january 18 2008

National Conference on Autism
"The Road to Best Practice in Autism"

Saturday, April 19, 2008,
8 a.m. to 4 p.m.,
in the Student Union Ballroom at Florida Gulf Coast University, Fort Myers, Fla.

for physicians, parents and educators

topics that will be presented and discussed:

  • causes of autism,
  • evaluation and treatment,
  • early identification and intervention,
  • treatments for symptoms associated with autism,
  • arrangement of long-term finance for persons with disabilities,
  • sexuality,
  • and more.

The conference is free and open to the public.

Reservations are required by registering at by April 10, 2008, or by calling 239-992-4680.

You can find more information here.


friday's feast

january 18 2008

What is your favorite beverage?

Do you mean alcohol? (otherwise water is OK).

I don't have a favorite one, I have some favorites, and each one is a reflection of my mood.

I love Port, or Porto, as some call it.
I don't like wines, and because there's something in it what I'm not allowed to use because of a metabolic disease I never drink it. It's not in Port.
Port is for the lazy, laid back mood. For the long quiet discussion, for the time with a good friend, without clock, the slow drifting into the night.

I like Beerenburger.
It's a spirit made in the North of The Netherlands from local herbs.
It's dynamic, strong, fresh, and one way or another I can drink as much as I want and never get ill nor drunk.
It for being with friends and have fun and loud discussions. It makes me laugh and aware.

And I like whisky. Not the cheap one, the water with a taste. But the good golden glow where the scottish hills step in and one feels one can withstand the heaviest storms.
Well, I guess it's a bagpipers thing to drink it on every occassion.
But to be honest: when the taste is water with alcohol the plants die where I have been. LOL!
I like the old versions, that one can roll in the glass like cognacm and that makes one wants to smell it all the time.

Funny is I hardly raise a glass, I almost never drink.
Once in 3 months is much nowadays.
But maybe that makes me appreciate a quiet glass even more.

Oh and eh... when I drink, I use a good piece of Old Amsterdam with it.
That's a strong old cheese.
Well, I'm Dutch and we're cheese eaters.

Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.

Didn't I mention this last week too?

Right now:

and a little bear I have to babysit for a little child here in the neighbourhood.

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are?

I'm very honest and straightforward, but I tell a white lie now and then to keep pthers happy.

Main Course
If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why?

I need a couple of years to think about this question.
I don't want to hurt people by changing the name of their town.

But maybe, maybe I want to change the name of a little city.. well, it's a street and a few houses, somewhere in the USA and it's called: The Netherlands.

Some people in a group thought that I was living there instead of in the marvellous country called: The Netherlands.

What stresses you out? What calms you down?

What stresses me out:
Onprofessionalism in people who claim to be high standing professionals.
People who lie and cheat to get what they want.
People who don't stick to the law (like that careteam at school).

What calms me down:
The sea,
Making or listening music,
Getting on top of a situation.

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Thursday, January 17, 2008

The last one: autism spectrum disorder too.

january 17 2008

Went this morning with the last undiagnosed son to the psychiatrist.
It was said he probably has an autism spectrum disorder too.

It's not yet known which one, and it's not sure of it's an autism spectrum disorder alone or with something else. But we now a bit what to expect.

I didn't expect to feel so sad.
I'm kind of trained in taking blows and accepting that my children are not perfect at all.
And I knew he would be diagnosed that way.

Well, I'm going through the same feelings and thoughts as before.
Difference is I know the answers. LOL!

So I'm asking myself what I did wrong.
I feel a bit of a failure,
etc etc.

Well, these feelings will disappear in time.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

works for me

january 16 2008

What works for me before a meeting is reading about the subject.
I'm not talking about meetings about technical subjects, but meetings at school about
everyday subjects like bullying, behaviour, teacher-child interaction and such.

Knowing how other parents think about these subjects helps me to form my own opinion.
I also often find out which solutions other schools have offered.
That enables me to think about it, see what I want for my children, and what doesn't work. For instance.

The schools I have to deal with often come with easy solutions that won't involve much effort on the part of school.
But I want the best for my child(ren) and when I'm well informed I can give them the best solution for my child when they won't come up with something.

Works for me.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

back from the meeting

january 15 2008

Well, the meeting was ... eh... dynamic.. LOL!

I felt a little suspicion when the principal made his way to us and started small talk. He's not the kind of guy to do it, and he's never done it before.

Then we met the other two for the meeting.
The pedagogue was clearly nervous.

The meeting started out rather pleasant.
They'll give all cooperation to ease the move for my autistic son to the other school.
Then they forced us to make a decision to which group he should go, offering an opportunity that isn't available.
Well, the new principal said she would make the decision... so I'll mail her tomorrow.

Then we discussed the way the careteam treated the whole case.
They didn't expect the woman of Youthcare to take action, didn't expect the schooldoctor to take action...etc etc.
In came down to: that's not what we expected to happen.

Well, that's how it works, and how all the publications on internet tell how it works, and that's how it's meant to work.

The meeting was intended to see how my son could be helped at school... yea fine.

So I told them that when Youthcare takes action towards the psychiatrist of my son without our written consent, that means we're suspected from childabuse or childneglect.
When you add this to the fact that only the former psychiatrist was available, who never ever properly helped my son, but wanted to put him in an institution when there were some problems, then two people who have influence can team up for a placement out of the family, and they can pull enough strings to make it happen without the parents having any say.

They both coloured red and blue....

The coordinator told me in the mail there was no file.
But how on earth can those people take action when there is no file?
And where are the notes from that meeting?
.... Right in front of her...LOL!

I said nothing.

She said it had never been the intention to have a meeting like that, they just wanted to have an informal meeting about how to improve matters for my son at school.

Well, how informal is it when you have three professionals from outside school sitting at your meeting?

Do they really think I'm that stupid and that naïeve that I belief that??? (answer...yes.)

So I told her to straighten things out.
Told her the legal implications of it all.

And then time was up.

On our way home I felt double.
OK, I was right all along the way.
They didn't know what they were doing, they didn't follow the law and protocols, they lied, they tried to cover up mistakes, and they certainly didn't appologise.

These people are only a burden, not part of a support system... not at all.

At home I searched internet.
Found a lot of information.

Then started a nice letter to summarise the meeting.... cooked dinner... and after the coffee I thought...

"Why on earth am I still nice?"

So I wrote a mail stating I wanted to use my legal right to see the files of school and the careteam, and to see the notes of that meeting, even when they're handwritten.
I want them copied in our house at last this friday.
When she isn't able or doesn't want to hand them to me, I want her motivation, which will be used in a formal complaint.

Then I hit the button "send"....
I nearly pressed the button right through the keyboard and the desk. LOL!

Monday, January 14, 2008

meeting tomorrow

january 14 2008

Tomorrow is the meeting with the school of my autistic son.

It won't be a happy event, and it won't be a kind event, so I'm not looking forward to it.

One of the women plays the timid girl, but I've experienced that her nice words are only used to mellow others. She doesn't stand up for us when things are needed, even when she says so.

The other is very dynamic, firm, knows what she wants and she goes straightforward.
She's great in covering things up, however.

All their paperwork I need.... but they haven't all the paperwork I need.
They didn't keep the proper reports of interventions,
they didn't do all the necessary interventions,
and they made tremendously huge mistakes.

So they'll try to cover up things,
try to manoevre me away from certain subjects,
and sweeten things up.

They're fighting for their image and the money.
Keeping my son there means money for them.

But I really want him to go to the new school and attend the auti-class.
It's about a child that needs to be there, and not at a school where he's fully stressed each day, is bullied because he's different and doesn't get the help he really needs.

A friend who went through about the same with her son a year ago. warned me.
"They'll always try to put the blame on others."

Well, they can't blame me for not having their stuff in order. LOL!

One of the subjects of the meeting is "to inform me".

Remember they have a careteam that launched all sorts of professionals on my roof, trying to intimidate me?

They want to inform me...

So I asked for the file of my son, so I could prepare myself.
I was told there is no file.

That's so very interesting!
How on earth can you send Childcare on it's way without having any documentation of problems whatsoever?
How on earth can you send the schooldoc on his way without an underlying question?

So that team only reacts to hear-say and gossip?? LOL!

I'm quite ready for the meeting tomorrow.

The only thing I need to do is finish a list of problems I've encountered and my son have encountered at the school.

I already have 20 items, but there's far more.

They all come down to:

  • not knowing precisely what autism is and not knowing what an autistic child needs at school
  • not communicating with other people
  • not following the law
  • ignoring questions from the parents, so mistakes and unwanted situations persist.
  • not enforcing teachers to follow the guidelines that are given by professionals.

Please keep your fingers crossed!


the "thrifty gene".

january 14 2008

A research paper in Nature Genetics (jan 13 2008) reports the discovery of a gene that turns excess blood glucose into fat tissue.

The excistence of the gene was already suspected, but it was never found.
Three decades ago already, it was called the "thrifty gene".

A study of more than a half-million genetic variants in 2,000 Europeans and Indian Asians showed a gene that worked the same as the "thrifty gene".
It's gene MLXIPL.

One could say it's a kind of survival gene.
In times of famine the body create reserves each time food is consumed.

Researchers warn for preliminary reactions.
They say it looks like it works this way.

The thrifty gene is probably just a part of a very complex system that leads to obesity or heart disease.
But to normal people it´s an explanation why some people just need to eat a little and gain a lot of weight, whereas others can eat everything and stay the same weight.

My impression is that the gene is part of a complex of triggers and stoppers.
Part of my family, those who can be clearly identified by their looks as family of my great great great great grandfather are very slim untill a certain age and then suddenly they start gaining weight fast, without changes in their diet.
I´m one of them... and I´m not happy about it.

cholesterol - new discoveries

january 14 2008

Most people now know the difference between HDL and LDL cholesterol.

HDL cholesterol is called the good cholesterol, because it's believed it carries no risk, and might even be beneficial.

LDL cholesterol is called the bad cholesterol. It forms plaques that eventually can block arteries, causing heart attacks and other cardiovascular troubles.

When people are given statins the intention is to reduce the amount of LDL cholesterol. That way cardiac risk is reduced.

Already 11 genes were identified that play a role in cholesterol regulation.
Now 7 new genes are identified, according to a research report in Nature Genetics (jan 13 2008).

The research involved almost 20,000 people in three countries (Italy, Sweden and Finland.)
First 8.800 people were involved in genetic studies.

More than 2 million genetic variations were studied.
After that 25 genetic variants, which together are responsible for about 25 percent of levels of blood lipids such as cholesterol were identified.

Then the incidence of different variants were studies in relation to the incidence of heart disease in those individuals.

To confirm the results a study was done of 11,000 individuals from the three populations.

Interesting is that the changes the genes brought about on HDL cholesterol levels had no influence on the risk of heart disease. So it seems to be that the good cholesterol probably is just neutral cholesterol.

Only the genetic changes that affect LDL cholesterol influence the risk of heart disease. Some of the 7 genes showed these effects.

The researchers also confirmed the role of 11 previously identified cholesterol-related genes in the risk of heart disease.

Discoveries like these enable researchers to focus their attention on the places where new medicines can be targetted to change the risk of heart disease.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

coronal hole

january 13 2008

We're part of a huge universe, and often we don't even realise it.
Such enormous things are happening.

Like now.

In the sun there's a large hole in the athmosphere, a coronal hole.

You can see it here.

The solar winds can escape freely.
With a million mile per hour the stream is approaching earth and soon many can see auroras again.

But maybe the only thing we can experience is slowing of internet. Who knows.


january 13 2008

Another drama in Afghanistan.

A group of soldiers were helping a wounded collegue in the dark. (He now misses two legs).

They couldn't see who were approaching and thought they were ambushed by the Taliban.

2 of their collegues died, and 2 soldiers of Afghanistan. None had anything to do with the Taliban.

This is so sad... soooo sad!!!

We don't have a system of thought that makes these people heroes.
They aren't.

They were just young people, trying to do some good in the world by trying to help a country find peace.
When they went there, they knew they could be killed.
The area is not safe at all.

But they were young, and didn't believe death is faster than they are.

unconscious mutterings,

january 13 2008

  1. Dream big :: about an elephant or money

  2. Competition :: don't like it

  3. Torn :: between two lovers

  4. Modeling :: clay

  5. Coaster :: try sailing between windturbines

  6. Slut :: certainly not me

  7. Spread :: sandwhich spread

  8. Amanda :: a quite little girl living nearby

  9. Romance :: love

  10. Paradise :: I want to go there

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birthdayparty and a book

january 13 2008

Had a nice morning visiting a little girl who celebrated het 5th birthday.

The girls was running around the house, but settled down when my 2 daughters came in.
The mom was happy. LOL!

It was nice talking to the uncles, aunts, grandmoms and -dads.
A new book about our town was issued last week and one of the people already bought and read it.
And as he is a very talkative person...

We all were glued to our chairs... he's such a good storyteller.

Ofcourse at times discussions started.
We all have memories we can share, and the storyteller knows a large part of my family, and is eager to know more.

In two weeks we all have another birthday in that family.
I think I'll have a look at the new book too!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

about transport

january 12 2008

I'm still not recovered from that flu. On the contrary.
This morning I woke up with a splitting headcache, muscle aches and a fever.

One of the boys can't get over it either, and I wonder if it has to do with asthma.
We're the only ones here with asthma.

I firmly told the girls and their dad to arrange transport to the Robert Burns evening, otherwise they shouldn't sign in.
Will they ever listen?

I would love to go myself too, but last year I had a very hard time to arrange transport and when it was time to go home the guy told me he was only asked to take me, not bring me home!!!
I had to ask around and was just a minute in time to catch someone who could take me home. I nearly panicked, because the place we were was in the middle of the woods. OK, there was a hotel, but we can't afford it. Ever!!

There isn't a special discount for members of the same family, and a third going...can't afford it. Not after buying the fabric to make the girls look nice.

I just hate situations like this!

It seems the hole society just assumes everyone has a car.

This morning I got a letter from the organisations where my boys psychiatrists work.
They are organising a parentsboard.
But the meetings are... yep... not here in town, but about half an hour driving..when one has a car.

Oh, this makes me so very mad!!!!!!

Friday, January 11, 2008

About the leakage

january 11 2008

Turns out I'm right that the leakage from the bathroom is not from the silicone border.
Renewing it, in combination with more carefull showering and especially shorter showering resulting in less water coming down, but there's still some leakage...right under the plaqce where the tap is.

So I think the silicone around and behind the tap is leaking.

With a DIY'er in the house who isn't even able to hang a shelf level my stress level is rising.

The last time he "fixed" a leakage he flooded the bathroom completely while telling me the wet stripes on the wall downstairs were caused by "old water".
Yea.... water of about 3 seconds old.

So please, please keep your fingers crossed he can manage.



january 11 2007

The kids were lucky.

Their dad celebrated his birthday this week, and focourse they had cake and everything else.

Today he came home with a large bag, telling the girls who came to see whay he was sighing so much, to move aside.

He put his large bundle in the kitchen and opened the bag.

A large cakebox appeared and some little bottles of fruitjuice.

Turned out he and three others who celebrated their birthday, treated the people at their department and this stuff was left.
Being the only one with children he was told to take it home.

Applepie, cherriecake, and lots of whipped cream with chocolate cake.

The joy!!!!

He was charming

January 11 2007

He came a bit early, but it didn't matter.

He was as charming as he was yesterday, when he came to make an appointment.

He had quite a lot of rather boring questions on his list, and because I was drawn in the sample, I had to answer them all.

It was fun to do, but there wasn't enough room to elaborate on answers.

So we talked when everything was finsihed.

Turned out we studies during the same years at the same university.
Shared some mutual friends and probably attended the same parties.

It was interesting to hear how he changed from job to another one...year after year.
Like so many of us that graduated those years.

It was a pity to see him leave.

friday's feast

january 11 2008

What is your middle name? Would you change any of your names if you could? If so, what would you like to be called?

I have no middle name.

If you were a fashion designer, which fabrics, colors, and styles would you probably use the most?

Give me a chance and I'll show you. I've always wanted to be a fashion designer.
I would use colourfull clothes for the day.
Absorbing and breathing material, so you won't have those sweaty patches or the feel you're stuck in a plastic bag.
Lots of pockets, either loose or hidden.
Something you'll feel elegant in, but won't break you're neck because it doesn't stretch when you slip off the sidewalk.

Evening: more of one tone, or larger colour areas.

I can't tell my style, because noone has invented a name for it, yet.

What is your least favorite chore, and why?

Cleaning after people.
Come on... with 8 people in the house... It seems to be all I do.

Main Course
What is something that really frightens you, and can you trace it back to an event in your life?

Hmmm.. have to think about that.
I've an inborn fear for large spiders and snakes.

I don't like a sudden cold shower, because it literally takes my breath.

Where are you sitting right now? Name 3 things you can see at this moment.

At my own place at the desk.
I can see a waterglass, my glasses and a little santa that's glued on the computer this christmas.

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Sir Edmund Hillary has died

january 11 2007

Edmund Hillary, the first man who reached the top of the Mount Everest, has died at the age of 88 in New Zealand.

Before he succeeded he went to the Mount Everest with a British expedition to experience the conditions, and two years later he went again, together with sherpa Tenzing Norgay.
He reached the top at a height of 9.000 meters at may 29, 1953.

He was an adventurer. He went all over the world, including the south pole.
But he was also a great philantropist.

Sir Edmund Hillary never forgot the way the people treated him.
He often went back to help the Nepalese people building schools, for instance.

The Himalayan Trust was set up.
In over 30 years 20 schools were built, two hospitals, several medical clinics and two airfields.

I'll never forget the first time I saw him on TV.
He made clear that one always should persue a dream.
He did.

The world has lost one of its truly great men.

May he rest in peace.

the man at the door

january 11 2008

When the bell rang I expected the person of the bureau of statistics.
I got a letter last week, informing me my name was drawn, meaning I'm part of a sample.
I will be subjected to an enormous amount of questions about safety, politics, health, education and everything else that is put in the yearreview of the national bureau of statistics.

To be honest, I expected a young man, not a mature guy.
Not a distinguished gentleman with smiling eyes, perfect language and a respectfull attitude.

Oh my!!!

We made an appointment for tomorrow morning at 11, and...oh dear... I'm looking forward to it.

He's just the perfect guy to make a rather boring job into an enjoyable experience.

So the coffee is ready.......

Now the pedals are broken

january 11 2008

I don't know how he managed to do it, but my autistic son broke one of the pedals of his bycicle.

I can't believe it!!

He only has to use the bike for about 15 minutes each day. To the busstation and on his way home. That's all.

I expected some hidden meaning, so I didn't comment at all when he complained his bycicle was broken.

Turned out he had a lot of homework.

So he thought he could talk us into thinking he's ill, so there would be no need to make it.


He tried it again when his father came home.

But we enjoyed the era of mobile phones just 15 minutes before, so his dad was instructed well not to say one word about it.

Well, maybe we're in for a complaint session early tomorrow morning.
Right now we all have the intention of a full day of school for him.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Parents! Inform yourselves!

january 10 2008

Talking with a couple of mothers made me aware of the fact that people aren't informed at all about changes in legislature and rules involving schools.
So matters that are of utmost importance to children and parents are not communicated well or at all.

Last year I've found out several times that not even teachers and coördinators know the laws that have been created to protect children that are ill for instance.
Or the laws that are made to ensure that schools take the responsibility to protect the safety of children.

Oh, don't think I know them all, but I know where to get them.
The ministery of education has a special site to inform the public, and what's more interesting, has a special phonenumber and emailaddress where people can ask their questions.

It feels so good to know I'm not a stupid or nutty parent, but just someone who wants to be informed and is backed up to want to best for my children.

Last year I tried to talk with the school about bullying.
"We can't do anything. Bullying is a problem all schools have." and "When your child can't deal with it, maybe this school isn't the right place to be.", where only two remarks I heard during a meeting to change things.

But with the law in my hand, and with the interference of the Schoolinspection matters changed a bit. Just because the school didn't want to be brought to court and be forced to take action under supervision.

Next week I'm going to have a meeting about the way the careteam treated us and our son.
Sending Childcare without our permission to the psychiatrist is simply not done. Except when abuse and neglect is expected.
Asking my autistic son if surgery is considered to counteract his obesity is not only not done, it's oppositional to how a caring schooldoctor should react.

But, even more important, the careteams have to follow a certain sequence of actions, and they simply didn't follow these.

In our case there wasn't even a file they took action upon (this morning confirmed...there was no file...), but merely hear say and opinionated thinking.
How can you help a child, when you don't know which help is needed?

No wonder I was intimidated and harassed verbally in my own home by a council official who didn't even know the diagnosis of my son.

Those people don't even know the rules of their own work, and yet they want to be respected?

I feel it to be self respect, and respect for my children when I dig into matters, when I'm critical, and when I'm trying to make the world a bit better.

Parents! Inform yourselves!

That way you can protect yourself and your children a lot better.

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

works for me: backwards edition

january 9 2008

Today we're not expected to give a good idea, but to ask for one.

Well, I have a question.

A couple of weeks plastic recycling has begun here.

I'm all for it.

Problem is that the container is rather far away, so we have to keep the plastic apart untill one of us can bring it to the container.

All those wrappins and bags take a lot of space.
It should be kept under pressure, that's what I think.

Any idea??

I now put all the stuff in plastic bags and put them in a box, put pressure on it to keep the plastic in.

I'm looking forward to a good idea.


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murder or assisted suicide?

january 9 2008

Sometimes I'm amazed about the way people just don't pay attention to safety.
Most of the time nothing happens, or other people become victims, but in Texas fate decided that irresponsible behaviour should have consequences.

A hunter put his gun in the back of his car.
He didn't care to unload it.

His labrador stepped on the gun and activated the mechanism.

The man was killed.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Tuesday Tags: 12345 Things

january 8 2008

A very sweet blogging collegue, Serena, tagged me.

Ofcourse I didn't say no.

So here it goes:

1. Name one thing you do everyday.

Just one thing?

Wash my hear.
I have very thin, straight hair and when I haven't washed it it looks dirty and I feel sloppy.

2. Name two things you wish you could learn.

I wish I could learn to become an independent ambassador for world peace.
I don't think the job excists, and that's so sad!
And if it excists, I'm sure it's reserved for the mature politicians and businessmen, who care far more for economical aspects.

I wish I could learn to stand up for myself and my family without feeling afraid I'll hurt the feelings of others.

And I wish I could learn to play the hurdy gurdy. Oops, that's three.

3. Name three things that remind you of your childhood.

A special kind of blue spring flowers. They make me think of wonderful hours with my gram, working in the garden, drinking tea and discussing books, eating cake.

A forest. I loved to play in the forest. No need to be afraid in those days. It was great to be part of nature and phantasy. Playing for hours on end, forgetting everything.

Singing. When I was 4 my dad took me with him to the choir he was conductor of. I loved to sing.
My gram taught me opera and operette.
We had so much music in our lives.

4. Name four things you love to eat but rarely do.

cherries (I'm allergic to them now)
Old Amsterdam...that's a special kind of old cheese.
a very thick piece of verkade chocolate

5. Name five things/people that make you feel good.

Music. I can't do without.
My girls. They keep my crazy family in a balance.
My friends.
My garden. I love to see nature develop, love the birds.
Reading poetry.

I have to think about who I'm going to tag.


Monday, January 7, 2008

Who invented puberty?

January 7 2008

He's 16.

He has been to his favorite sports evening and comes home.
It rains a bit.

Because we want to give our children the opportunity to put their bycicles away without getting a bucketload of water over them when they turn the key we have made an extra roof over the area between the garden, the shed and the backdoor.

It's great to leave wet shoes, shed the rain off the coats, get a rugsack from your back, etc etc.

He just walks in and gets angry when he can't turn with the heavy, far too large, bag.

The way he looks...! I'm so glad we don't have pets, because they would seek shelter at the other end of the world.

I can't take a breath to talk... and he already has uttered a couple of nasty things and accuses his dad of never helping him.

Trying to turn he has manouvred himself in such a way that he gets stuck with his bag between the table and the bookshelves.
Sorry...I have to laugh...

I pulls himself...he's still carrying the bag...
he pulls himself and the bag loose and walks past me, scratching my arm.

When I say something he throws his keys and nearly hits the window.

Who invented puberty?


call for parents of children with autism

january 7 2008

I've found this in the mail, and as it is important to my readers:

I am a fifth year doctoral student in the Department of Special
Education, Rehabilitation, and School Psychology at the University of
Arizona conducting my dissertation research on consultation with
parents of children with autism.
My research focuses on parent perceptions of the consultation process and the parent/consultant relationship.
Participation would consist of completing an online questionnaire that will require about 15 minutes.

This study has been reviewed and received ethics clearance through the University of Arizona Human Subjects Protection Program Office and this project has been funded by the Organization for Autism Research.

To learn more about this study and to participate click on this link:
https://www. psychdata. com/s.asp? SID=122242 or paste this link to your browser.

Thank you in advance for your interest in this project.


Steven Myers, M.Ed.
School Psychology Doctoral Candidate
The University of Arizona College of Education
1430 E. Second Street
P.O. Box 210069
Tucson, Arizona 85721


janaury 7 2008

One of the girls had a seat in the back of the classroom.


Now the new year has begon the groups are rearranged and my daughter got a place, not only in a far nice group, but also more to the middle of the classroom.

She's very happy with it, but also very bothered by the way the teacher deals with matters in the classroom.

The place she sat was in the left back corner of the room.

It was in a kind of no-mans land.
It was bordered by the schoolboard, a large displaytable and the kitchenette.
Kind of place where in the past the teachers put the worst bully to cool off and think about his bad behaviour, untill everyone had nearly forgotten about him.

So my daughter wanted this table and 4 seats to belong more to the classroomsetting and she tried to talk to the teacher about it.

No chance.

The teacher was too bussy... is always too bussy...

I can understand the feelings of my daughter.
This is the same teacher that helped my son feel at home at his new school, adjust to the new way of leraning and helped him catch up. She was kind, friendly and marvellous.

Now she's short of words, hardly uses her smilingmsucles anymore and always displays an image of hurry.

So I told my girl she'd better try again tomorrow and if that doesn't help, she can gather the mothers of the children that are now in the corner.
Explain how it feels sitting there: always watching the teacher at the back when she explains something, always hurting yourself against the blackboard or the kitchennette, always feeling left out.

I know one of the mothers is the kind of woman that has others listen to her, no matter gow bussy they are.

With a bit of luck, things will change. Permanently.


janaury 7 2008

I went downstairs and when I was near the backwindow I felt something...
and there it was: A Huuuge spider!!

First I thought is was a plastic one, so I looked at the things that we undersneath it to see what they had moved to get there.
But nothing had changed at all, so it must be a real one!! Yack!!!

Only one time before I've seen such a large one...ages ago!!
And it wasn't as large.....
So I warned the oldest he should help me.
He had to swallow too....

I took a big wooden rod, and put the washing up bowl under it. But I was too short to reach it.
So the oldest tried to hit him with one try.

We expected the thing to drop down, but it crawled higher....
I couldn't see it from outside anymore.
Then it crawled even higher, so we could remove the curtains.

With one blow, he was hit.
And then I sprayed it with hairspray!

Well. let's say he didn't move anymore, and the wall can't be painted anymore, because there's so much hairspray on it.LOL!

Later we thought we'd better kept the animal in a can or something, because it might have been escaped from a herbarium or something.

It had jucky thick legs and was so very large.

Right now I'm itching all over, and looking around me............... bbrrrrrrr...

Bye bye christmastime

january 7 2008

The christmasseason is over.

I've emptied the tree, put most christmasdecorations aside.
Tomorrow it's all going to the attick.

Already the room looks empty.

The girls enjoyed their first day to school, the boys their last day at home.

I hope I can enjoy tomorrow, when it's silent here, and I don't have someone standing behind me and scare the hell out of me when I turn. LOL!

Today I woke up with a migraine.
Hmmm, I still have the flu, so I can do without it.

I hate to feel ill and to be pitied, so I did my things around the house and then sat down changing the look of the site.
I just needed something different.

manic monday

January 7 2008

What was the last thing you regret buying?

I bought online a jacket that should fit a certain look for a special occasion.
The measurements were not what they were told they would be, so it´s a miss.
Well, one of the girls will fancy it.

If you had a crystal ball that could tell you the truth about any one thing you wished to know about yourself, life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Pff. That´s a difficult question.
I don´t want to take away my dreams, my hopes, challenges, efforts.

I had a friend once. He was as a brother to me.
Because I critized the way he always was able to choose for himself, instead of looking what was important to and for his child, he said goodbye to me.

I've always hoped he would understand where I came from and that I said it out of care and love for both of them.

Yes, that's what I want to know. If he ever came past his hurt ego, and if we ever will be friends again.

How do you know when you're in love?

I can't stop thinking about him, I feel pretty, my phantasy is working overhours, I dress better....

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Sunday, January 6, 2008

unconscious mutterings

january 6 2008

  1. Mist :: fog

  2. Eating :: weight

  3. Beacon :: sign

  4. Speaker :: Lady speaker

  5. Episodes :: temper

  6. Conference :: meeting

  7. Sneak attack :: mean

  8. Medic :: doctor or paramedic

  9. Web :: WWW

  10. 2008 :: started out well

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Saturday, January 5, 2008

earthquakes of 6.5 in the Queen Charlotte Islands Region

january 5 2007

The QUEEN CHARLOTTE ISLANDS REGION has been hit by two earthquakes of 6.5 on the scale of Richter and one of 5.0.

This followed after a time of small tremors which were not unloaden by smaller quakes in GUATEMALA (5.6), CATANDUANES, PHILIPPINES (5.0 and 5.3), ANTOFAGASTA, CHILE (5.9), CATANDUANES, PHILIPPINES (5.0), and one of 5.6 in the QUEEN CHARLOTTE ISLANDS REGION itself.

I doubt if the pressure is releived enough.
Time will tell.

saturday special

january 5 2007

~It's Dinner Time~

1. Standard Oven or Microwave?:

We don't have room for a standard oven, but the function is added to the microwave.
I like the old fashioned cake... you know. A bit golden brown on the outside.
Lemoncakes are microwaved though.

2. Fry or Bake?:

We waved the fryingpan goodbye last year.
No frites in large quantities anymore, but a moaning father who goes to get the frites.

I bake things.
I hate greasy things, so I use only a little bit of oil (wok) or butter. Sometimes not even that.

3. Cooking or Fast Food Meals? Why?:

Fast food is far too expensive with a family of 8 and they always are still hungry afterwards.

I don't like cooking though, only when it's for special occasions.

But hey, the herds have to eat.

4. Sit Down or On The Run Dinners?:

We don't have much On The Run Dinners here, because that's not the national custom. (I'm in The Netherlands).
We have dinner at 17.00 or 18.00 hours and whoever is at home has to sit down.
It's a bit difficult to run with soup. LOL!

Those who are not at home will have to eat with their dad who arrives at 19.30 hours.

Happy New Year!!

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January 5 2008

The girls went skating today and had a lot of fun.

Their father took them and was not to happy that one of their best friends wanted to come too.

She's not very considerate of the feelings of others and often wants things to go her own way.
"Adjusting" doesn't fit in her dictionary.

Ofcourse the girl had the pereftc iceskates, and the oldest of my girls seemed to have the perfect ones too, as they were a perfect fit.

The youngest forgot the extra socks, so she didn't have as much grip on the ice.

Luckily there were still a a small pair for hire, so she got one of them.

When they came home they were full of stories.

What a pity the skatesquare is taken away next week.

Friday, January 4, 2008

A disaster of Mud - Mud Vulcano Sidoarjo

January 4 2008

We all know Indonesia lies in the "Ring of Fire". A tremendously large area where nature is the boss and shakes the earth often, threatening all life in the neighbourhood of countless vulcanoes, active or dormant.

We don't often hear about the tremors and earthquakes.
Only when the media think it's time again to put an area in the picture.

Did you know that at the end of May, 2006, a crack in an oilwell at around 6,000 feet (1,800 metres) started a disaster which has not yet ended?
It was at Lapindo Brantas drilling site near Gempol, just south of the town of Sidoarjo in the province of East Java.

Ofcourse the company states it didn´t cause the crack, but the unstable earth did. And ofcourse other people blame the company.
People are the same everywhere.

From the crack a mudflow is emerging with a high fluoride and sulphur content.
Every single day some 150,000 cubic meter hot mud streams in the area like water, causing thousands of people to loose their homes and lifelyhood.
Already more than 1500 people have been treated at the local hospital because of the gasses.

Experts say that the crack was not caused by human hand, but is a logical consequence of the geological conditions, which are similar of those of Mount Anyar and the mud structure at Porong is the same as at Mount Anyar.

Mount Anyar, on the border between Surabaya and Sidoarjo, was also formed by mudflows.
And Kuwu, Purwodadi and in Sangiran, Central Java, mudflows are still discharging, even up until now.

The initial idea of filling the well with a plug of mud and balls of cement is long abandoned.
Dams have been tried, channeling the mud to the sea and even transporting the hot mud through pipelines.
But nature is stronger, and there´s far more mud expected.
From Porong to Mount Anyar is a large underwater reservoir of 200 square kilometers in size and of a depth of four to five kilometers.

All life in the area is at risk, demonstrated by the fact that complete villages are destroyed and the traintrack has been flooded by the mud several times and is giving way because of the sagging ground. At some places the ground has lowered 25cm!

Nearer to the mud vulcano the gound gave in more than a metre!

A safe place on earth is becoming precious.

friday's feast

january 4 2008

When was the last time you received a surprise in the mail, and what was it?

Uh...I bet you don't mean the dentist bill, don't you?
Hmm... a real surprise... I can't remember.
Must have been a package hairshampoo. LOL!

If you could have a summer and/or winter home, where would you want it to be?

In summer I would love to walk through the snow and in the winter I long for a walk on the beach.
So what says that about me? LOL!

I don't like the extreme temperatures at all.
I'm kind of a springperson. I like the fresh mornings that are just OK enough to walk into the garden without a coat.

Pick one: pineapple, orange, banana, apple, cherry.

Banana. I'm very allergic to the rest.

Main Course
Describe the nicest piece of clothing that you own.

It's a tartan outfit I made after a description in a diary of 1894.
I also have a lace skirt with blouse set, that's far too small, but it's very beautiful. So maybe it'll fit one of the girls within a few years.

If you could forget one whole day from your life, which day would you choose to wipe from your memory?

You'd better ask which day I would want to keep.

The day I want to whipe out is the day a policewoman phoned me at friday 18.00 hours and told me I was accused of abuse of my children.

I was so angry at her and the whole world.
I knew and I know I've never abused my children in any way.
I also knew that she accused me at that time because she wanted me to come up on monday with a statement accusing someone else they suspected. Like they can force me that way. Ha!
And I realised later that she must have called from her own house, as the shift ended at 17.00 hours. And she called as late so I couldn't reach anyone else to have the accussation confirmed.

I'm still getting mad when I remember this.

Happy new year!!

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eye contact and prevention of autism

jauary 4 2007

Researchers at the University of Washington are starting a $11.3 million preventionstudy.
They want to try to prevent autism in siblings of autistic children.

It's know siblings are at risk to develop autism too.

The study focusses at mothers having more eyecontact.
Children younger than 6 months and their moms are participants.

I'm looking forward to the results of this study.
I doubt if they have taken into account all the other studies than have been conducted already, using the same method of approach.

I have been working with all my children this way.
I wasn't only focussing on eye contact, but on all means to pull these children into our world of experience.

Taking their hands and touching, feeling all sorts of material, temperatures.
Labelling the exoperience.
Using spoken language and having them focus on what I'm saying.

Maybe it has helped a bit.

But I know it has also complicated matters in a terrible way.
Because all of my children have eye contact, their psychiatrists first said they weren't autistic.

But autism and autism spectrum disorders is more than eye contact.
It's about dealing with the world, labelling experiences and being able to deal with daily life, is about planning, flexibility, dealing with lots of different input, feeling OK within crowds, being able to use phantasy to play and solve problems... about everything.

Don't tell me I succeeded with the girls.

One of them is a completely normal kid, but the other has some traits that make her special.. and boy, do I know where these traits come from.

It's what someone said a long time ago:
Maybe you can change the way they relate to the world,
so people won't feel burdened.
But you can't change the way they are.

Well, isn't it always about living up to expectations?
But does it make a person more happy?

workshops in music and movement for children with autism or autistic behaviors

january 4 2008

VSA arts of New Jersey
New Brunswick
Feb. 2 - April 5

parent-child workshops in music and movement for children with autism or autistic behaviors

The 10 sessions will be geared for children ages 3 to 17.
Registration is on a first-come, first-serve basis.
There is a $30 registration fee for families whose children receive class placement.

Fee waivers are available.

More information and applications are available by calling VSA arts of New Jersey at (732) 745-3885, 745-5935 or 745-3913 (TTY), or by e-mailing

As far as I know you have to apply before next monday.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

I've got scanning illness

january 3 2007

I've got scanning illness.

After dealing with unknown blanc i-frames in some pages while surfing, I thought it wise to scan my computer once again with another scanner, because the scanner I usually use didn't indicate a problem.

So I went to another online scanner... which diagnosed an empty file to be a problem... and now I'm scanning again.

The mystical i-frame has disappeared again, like it did during the day yesterday.

Well, it doesn't do anything worng. Scanning I mean.

Nor does changing passwords, as long as I write them down and don't forget them.

I wonder how many people really scan on a regular basis, how many change their passwords when the year starts, and how many still don't have a virusscanner, nor a firewall, nor psyware-protection.

I went to the site where I learned everything about computers and internet-use when I started.
Unsubscription followed when they started to ask a money.
But now I found out they lost so many members then, that they're a free forum again.

So whenever that i-frame shows itself in some sites, I will go there and probably ask one of the most stupid questions of the world.
I think they want me to re-install a program which solves the problem forever.

If it hasn't resolved itself yet.

Now I'm feeling ill... a bad cold... it feels OK to have the scan running in the background.
Life goes on.....


january 3 2008

The news announces a vaccine against the bird flu is developed.

When trying to confirm the sory, I find many more newsmessages that say a vaccines has been developed. But I've never heard anything about the vaccine anymore after that.

So I wonder if this is the so maniest newsarticle based on unconfirmed data, or that it's the first one signalling a real breakthrough.

Anyway, the article doesn't state if it helps animals or humans, or both.

It would be great if there's a real vaccine.
Enough birdfarmers have lost their animals.

And enough people have lost their lives.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

just chattering

january 2 2008

The first workingday of a new year.

I heard quite some cars leaving the street this morning and it made me feel at home in this year.
Isn't it strange what normal sounds can do?

I'm still ill, so I stayed in bed and fell asleep again.

I thought I'd missed my oldest leaving to bring his stuff back to the trainingshouse, but he was still at home.
He planned to go early in the morning!

Looking back his stay at home wasn't as bad as expected, although we didn't have much space to move around.
Part of the time he went to friends, and part of the time he was behind a computer upstairs, trying to fix things.

I still have an iframe bugging pages, so I keep running all sorts of scanners.
If someone can hgelp me out, please let me know.

The url that is supposed to be launched in the frame is blocked by norton, but the frame itself keeps projecting itself.

I'm glad we had some sun today.
It really makes it feel that we're moving towards spring.

Which thought is nuts, because we've had the worst cold weather in january and february in the past.
Saw some nice images on TV about the winter of 1974. Brrrr....

Well, whatever happens, the days are getting longer.
Today it was past 4 that we could close the curtains and put the lights on.
Two weeks back it was at 3.

It'll be a cold night this night.
We'll see.

Research participants needed

January 2 2008

Research participants needed for a 7-week Autism Study conducted by Infoture, Inc., a research company based in Boulder, Colorado.

We are currently seeking the participation of families with children
under 48 months old who have been formally diagnosed with Autism.

Earn $85 per session ($880 in 7 weeks).
Sessions will begin in January and simply involve recording your child's vocalizations in the privacy of your own home.

This study will contribute to an exciting collection of data that researchers and clinicians will use to gain valuable information about identifying and treating ASD.

This is not a treatment program – our ongoing research will be used to gather information about language development.

If interested, please email or phone our research department at 1-866-503-9917.

works for me

January 2 2008

No, the christmasseason isn't over here in The Netherlands.

It lasts untill january the 6th.
That's the day the three kings arrive and hand their gifts to the little baby.
So the tree is still standing and the decorations are still up.

The perfect time to clean the attick before all the boxes will be piled up again.

It's also the perfect time to do things we would otherwise never do.

Like writing the birthdays at the perfect date in the agenda.

That way I won't forget who's birthday it is and when it is.

It works for me better than a calendar, far better.

Happy New Year!

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008



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