Thursday, December 13, 2007

fear and school in autism spectrum disorder

december 13 2007

The last days have been very stressfull.
The school asked us permission to see what they could do to make it easier for my son at school.

They only came with that offer after a whole history of random interventions, and after my son refused to go to school where he was bullied far too much.

It also came after it was clear there was a place available at the auti-class of another school.

Did they want to keep him?

6 weeks he was not at school, and he simply didn't miss anything important!!!

I agreed that a caregroup would meet to see what can be done to make my son feel better at school, just two days before I heard there was an auti-place and decided he would apply.

Which made what happened even more rediculous!

The careteam removed the bully from the group. Perfect!
After a couple of days seeing if the school really kept word, he went to school and had the best time of his life.
I wasn't a problem in the morning, came back smiling. So I thought that maybe he'd taken the hurdle and progressed towards a more mature level.

The careteam only added to the burden.
They decided to send Childcare to the psychiatrist. But we've just moved to a new one, didn't leave the old one for nothing. She didn't anything to help him whatsoever, she only tried to force us to bring him to a mental home. (NO way!)

And even worse...because Childcare didn't contact us, I completely went though the roof. When they don't contact parents they suspect negligence or childabuse and the only answer they give is getting the child out of the house.
I don't neglect my children, don't abuse them and the idea of someone even suggesting that drives me nuts.

The idea of someone of Childcare contacting the old psychiatrist was outraging.

I tried to stop the whole event... I was told I succeeded.

Because my son is often ill, or needs time at home to loosse his stress, he's away from school a few times a year.
That was never a problem.
But suddenly, no we're leaving school, it is.
The careteam told us that he was reported, but that it would have no consequences.

Yesterday afternoon I had the "law" at my door.
I was ill, was just sorting out the laundry, had furniture pushed aside because the boys told me they were getting a tree.
I was not in to receive guests. NOT AT ALL!

Well, the guy was confronted by a tearful mother, trying to tell him about her son's school carreer, the lack of understanding and the whole lot.
And guess what, I just don't pity him at all.

It was clear he came to catch me and my son escaping from educational laws, and instead he found a boy asleep and the mother with hanging hairs (I have awful hair, he doesn't know. He thinks better of it, because I kept apollogising for my hair and that I was ill, and thus emotional. LOL!).

The guy said he knew a lot about autism, yet told me that my son should go to school even when he was afraid.

Nicely he told he had all the papers to arrest me, and clearly I answered: "I know, don't you all?"

So he left, after telling me he would take matters further when my son wouldn't show up at school on monday.
I swallowed : "come and drag him". I'm sure he wouldn't see a joke in that.

So I told my son, and he answered that they wouldn't fine me or put me in jail just because he's afraid to go to school.

I cried all the rest of the afternoon and a large part of the evening.
All the stress and anger came out.

This morning I wrote the guy a mail.

Stating my son never has been from school without school knowing why.
That school has never confronted me with it.
That my son alsways got a letter when he returned, but that he often forgot to give it at school. School never made a problem, so I assumed they understood.

I also gave him to know that fear in children with autism spectrum disorder is different from that in others.
When my girls complain about bullying I can tell them how to behave, talk them strong, and have them go to school.
My sons fear only gets worse.

Asked him to wait with legal action untill we have been at the new psychiatrist, so the psychiatrist can inform him about the fear, and maybe even tell him about further diagnostics.

And I told him that it's a strange country where parents are sued because of the handicap of their children.

No answer yet.


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