Sunday, April 29, 2007

april 29

Finally a good wind is blowing.
I woke up often, and heard a windchime in the garden clinging. Such a nice sound to hear. And the wind was dusting my feet.

Someone has been using my emailadres to get all sorts of spam in my mailbox. What a low action...
I don't even know why it is done.

Went with the neighbourwoman to the balletperformance of the girls.
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Friday, April 27, 2007

april 27

The girls have watergames at school this afternoon. That's big fun!!

One can feel the moist in the air is getting higher. The temps are much more of a burden.
Yesterday I had a headache all day, and now I'm just very very tired.

It was in the news that next year they won't give free schoolbooks. So that's another year with high costst.
They also stop allowances for children and give each family a lumpsum. The same amount for family with one or more kids.
So that means moneytrouble. Just now I have planned to go to a wedding of a friend.

Life is nuts... completely nuts.... (Well, I'm allergic to nuts...)
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Thursday, April 26, 2007

april 26

More warm weather... all these broken records... And what do we get after this?
tremendous amounts of rain, like the last two years?

Now we have fire alert everywhere. It's so dry.

Managed to write a referral to the best autism clinic in the country. For my autistic son.
I'm sure the psychiatrist doesn't like it, but my son needs the best care that fits our family best.
Apart from that, her total disregard of my feelings still amazes me.
We have an appointment next week, and I don't like going. She said she had nothing else to offer, and every time I'm able to find something to fix his behaviour for a while.
This time it means no school... but it makes such a huge difference.

Sometimes I wonder why we want to educate people like him.
Oh yes, he can learn a profession and make himself usefull, but when he stays living at home we get all the emotions that are aroused somewhere else.
And when he lives in a home they sedate him when he gets his emotions all out.
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

april 25

Another very warm summerday in early spring.
I saw flowers that should bloom late in summer.

Whuddleworld is closing it's doors, because they haven't found new investors.

They started up the site with investments and donations from all sides, more than enough money to get it going and keep it alive for some time.
They've earned quite a lot of money, as people wanted to have the specials they were offering. I know people who have invested more than 200 dollars.
The last time it became more and more clear that they had overestimated their abilities to program this kind of site.
Their way of thinking was very one sided and often people felt the way they handled things was creating unequality between members.
The lack of care for the members, when they had questions or remarks was enorm: no answers to mails, or even angry and unpolite answers.
So it's good that this team of people are leaving Whuddleworld, to make place for a better team.

Problem is that new investors need to be found.

Had a nice bagpipe lesson. This teacher has found a balance with our little group quite soon. It's all very relaxed and I don't feel awkward making mistakes.
Nor does the man beside me, who used to tell himself: "mistake, mistake", when he played a wrong note. He doesn't do that anymore.

Bagpiping went a bit better, but it's still struggling with that reed.

When I was leaving the bandleader called me back. He played on my chanter, said it was a good reed.
He had a softer reed. If I wanted to swap.

I remembered that the seller said that this was a good but far too heavy reed, but that I never should give it away, because I would enjoy it in the future.
And hej...I struggled so much to get it working... it's mine now.

So I told him "No".
The bandleader was amazed and a lot of bandmembers suddenly got silent and started listening.

"No?"
"No!

When we got our bagpipes we were told these reeds were far too heavy.
First thing I did was go to you and ask you a soft reed.
You told me off. Didn't say you ordered new ones. Just told me I had to find a way to make it work.

So I went through everything the older bagpipers told me. I struggled through the lowest tones, blew my guts out, looked like a stupid far too old and weak wannabee.
I was one of the few who were able to let the pipes squeek like hell...

And now I have to give my first reed away?
NO Way!

"But you'll get a better feeling of accomplishment."

"Not anymore.
I've used a soft reed from another bagpiper, and I could play highland catherdral just like I'd done it a hundred times before.
I can bagpipe, I know it, and i will become a bagpiper... but with this read in the bagpipes or in my carrier.

I have ordered a new reed, because you told us off... I don't need two soft reeds.

I'll go on blowing like hell to make the thing work. It's good for my lungs.
I'm a bagpiper, I know that, and I'm stubborn enough to go on.. it's scottish...
And that's how matters are now.
So no exchange of reeds."

He didn't know how to react, but I saw the faces of the others.
I must have looked like a stubborn little girl, and I felt like a stubborn scot. LOL!

Boasting about bagpiping highland cathedral was not at all boasting. I play the song by heart on the whistle now with ease and only two mistakes.
And I can play it almost perfect, with two mistakes, on the smallpipes.
I know I should be able to play it on the highland pipes when I get my soft reed, so I'll have a good go at studying this week. LOL!

I shouldn't have boasted in front of the old members of the band... problem is... I think I can do it. LOL!

Went home without wearing a coat, just a T-shirt!
And it was warm enough. Pffff
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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

april 24

Both girls had a great time with school at a museum nearby.

The museum is well known for them, because we used to go there often.
They have lifesize replicas of african villages and on days like these they have all sorts of normal african activities: like stamping grains, getting water and a lot more.
Daughter 2 told me she felt like home, there.
Daughter 1 had fun because the lady who tells stories tickled her as part of the story.

After it all it went through my head that the school never lets a kid go home by itself, but today they all were allowed to go home to tell about going to the museum...Hmmm...



In the afternoon I had a cup of coffee and watched part of Oprah's meeting with Sidney Poitier.
I always feel happy to see that man. He's so inspiring.
My dad sure has been inspired by him too...he had the same wisdom>

I love to read his book: Measure of a Man, The: A Spiritual Autobiography

Just when I was forgotten there's a world outside my room, the woman who wants me for coffee when she wants more of me knocked at the backdoor.
She needed someone to fetch her kid from school tomorrow, and she needed to vent.
Her kid has an autism spectrumdisorder and he's having troubles at school with impulse control and such.
We had a long talk and I think she heard enough to make the meeting go better.

Bapgpiping today went great.
For the first time I played a three note tune with one drone open.
Woohaaa!!! I loved it and the kids praised me because it sounded well.

Tomorrow we're going to have a warm day with summertemperatures again: about 29 to 30 degrees celcius.
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Monday, April 23, 2007

april 23

My autistic son is behaving worse and worse.
I guess the fear for having to go to an institution has worn off, and also the effects of the second tablet of Risperidon.
He is complaining constantly and when internet went out it was almost unbearable.

The only good thing of the day was that I got three laundries completely dry.

In the evening he kept accussing his older brother of taking internet offline and his brother got so angry that we ended up having a huge walk through our part of town.
Which was OK with the weather, but as my right foot is hurting like hell, it was no fun at all.

After quite some time I got him quiet and we ended up with planning the appointment to go and have a look at what presumably will be his new home.

I'm glad the woman who has to arrange things is speeding things up

Wish we had such good help with my autistic son.
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Saturday, April 21, 2007

april 21

Practiced chanter and bagpipes with the man of my group. The teacher and woman were not attending this morning.
We both did very well.
No pressure!

At home internet was slow and the irritations were fast.
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Friday, April 20, 2007

april 20

Had a meeting with the band.
The usual stuf about money and ofcourse there's someone who has joined recently and wants it all.

We have a struct system of learning and he's supposed to follow it too.
Ofcourse a teacher moves forward fast when he finds out someone already masters a lot.

But this person just wants the fun and not the hard work.

He had a jealous eye to the bagpipers. We three have a new instrument and he thinks the band has paid for it. So he wants an instrument...NOW!!!

He was told off.
We have paid for the bagpipes ourselves.
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Thursday, April 19, 2007

april 19

My girl took a letter to school, stating that if they agree with us, no appointment is needed.
Some time ago we spoke about extending her stay at the basic school, but in the meantime she has matured in such a way that by no means I want her to double this year.
Give her the chance to develop in her own pace. When she is up to moving towards the next level like the other kids of 12 next year she should be able to.

I asked the school for full proof, by tests and such, to show me she's behind in development.

I know they can't as they don't want to invest in tests and such, and it's her teacher's oppinion against mine.
The school is still not able to tackle bullying, so I wrote I was standing behind her reaction towards bullying. She's allowed to complaion about it each and every time and give her teacher and others a hard time to solve her ill feelings about it.
I think she's very brave to adress it each and every time, and I always back her up.
I also try to make her develop a thicker skin, but I don't want her to accept it ever.

Her teacher spoke with her after lunch, when I had a talk with her again, and when the teacher was about ready she said: "well, there's nothing else I can do here than give in".

Didn't get a letter back though. So let's wait for that.


The school of the boys doesn't care about the signature of the parents under the IEP, but legally the school can do nothing without the signature.
So I've stressed that the IEP can't be used without our consent.

I guess the school doesn't like us anymore... LOL!
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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

april 17

The temperature is down.
What a relief.
The prunus...a tree full of softpink blossom is "snowing".
What a pity.

One of the girls brough a letter home: school wants to speak to us for giving her an extra year.
We talked about it a while ago, when she also had a delay in maths.
She worked hard and now she's on level.
Now it's weighing the gain in masturity against the loss of confidence.
To us an extra year is not a decision that needs to be taken now.

Wrote a letter to school so they know our position.

Then got a mail about one of the sons.
The pedagogue told that his mentor, which we asked to step down, is involved in making his IEP.
Oh, that made me so very angry!!
How can a person who is so negative about my son, and who hasn't been able to take positive action before, make decisions for a treatment program?

She also urged us to go for a talk.
Not before we know what has changed.

Bagpiping went better.
Still, that reed needs a lot of attention.

The bagpipe teacher mailed we'll have a lesson at wednesday and he'll work at our reeds.
He should have taken me serious last week.
The inflammation was rather bad this morning, working it's way down from my armpit to my breat.
I've had a breastinfection there a couple of times, it's quite susceptible.
The antibiotic cream helped a lot... well, I used a lot too.
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Monday, April 16, 2007

april 16

Had contact with a woman of a psychiatric organisation. Due to reorgansisations the psychiatric facility nearby is not anymore theirs... they work more north.
It's in the hands of another organisation and as we're having and independent psychiatrist and don't belong to youth care, it's not ours to go.

She thought the facility our psychiatrist mentioned was not the good one for our son.

A couple of hours later his psychiatrist mailed.. she had cancelled the procedure to get him there.

After working on my bagpipe reed for a while I managed to get a full noise from my bagpipe. So the reed is the real problem.
Tried making a constant tone with one of the drones... Went quite well for a beginner.

I have an inflammation in my armpit. Grrr.
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Sunday, April 15, 2007

april 15

sun, sun, sun. They have predicted it will be 28 degrees today, and I'm sure it will be.
Yesterday it was over 27. Never had such an early summerday before.

Today it was already hot when I went outside.
All was silent.

So I cleaned a chair, got coffee and a slice of gingerbread and with the paper under my arm I went outside.

Soon a couple of titmouses came near my chair, trying to turn over a leaf.
Something created a soft sweet smell.
The prunus changed from dark red spots to lighter pink flowers all over.
So beautiful!!!
But a pity too, because the transformation often takes a week or more and was now done in a few hours.

Well, I didn't sit outside those hours.
As soon as I heard people in other gardens the world didn't belong to me anymore, so I went inside and got the laundry.
Work never stops.

An hour later there was a lot of noise of children and grown ups, talking and spoons against coffeecups.
A child was crying terribly.
I think it's the same child that cried last year as a baby.
The parents never bothered to take it in their arms, and now the father was yelling and yelling and guess what: the child didn't stop crying when he asked.
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

change of language

When choosing a language to write in, I make a choice for a language I feel comfortable with.
I don't care where I live, there are two languages close at heart, and from both of them english fits me more.
Even though the amount of words is less than in my native langiage, I feel I'm better able to express certain things.

So when I had to choose the language for my blog, it was english.
And with english I can reach more friends, so it's perfect.

Today I arrived at my blog and found everything, except my entries, written in ... dutch.
I didn't ask for it, and I don't like it.
Even more.. they're not able to translate all functions well. so some translations are the worst I've ever seen.

Do they think I don't know how to handle things when I make a choice for english?

Well, it doesn't add to me feeling of having a little home here.
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Sunday, April 1, 2007

april fools

April fool's day is usually handles well in our town.
People coming to the large park to fetch a free breadroll or something, or to see the free circus.

This year they had an item about the lack of parkingspace.
They wanted more people to get a dwarf car and to show how easy those vehicles can be parked, they had free access to all the parking spaces.

Ofcourse people didn't care.
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